Precedo wils

31/03/2024

This evening by the road side

Random dude - (walks up to me, hands in pocket, wearing airpods)

Me -

Dude - (in a low pitch) Hey boss

Me - (ignores him)

Dude - Boss (taps me)

Me - (turns to him) My name is PREXEDD WIIN

Dude - sorry, big boss PREXEDD

Me - Just PREXEDD is fine.

Dude - Okay boss.. I mean, PREXEDD WIIN

Me -

Dude - (covers his mouth and leans close to me) Boss, no vex, I fit s...

Me - PREXEDD WIIN is my name

Dude - sorry, PREXEDD WIIN .

Me - and shift back small bro.. You wan enter my body?

Dude - (shifts back a little) okay PREXEDD WIIN .. Please, I know I'm a total stranger but I'm kinda stranded and I need 1k

Me - it's money you came to ask me for?

Dude - Yes bos..PREXEDD WIIN

Me - And your hand is in your pocket?

Dude - (removes his hand from his pocket quickly and pulls up his trouser.) I'm sorry bro..

Me - You are still wearing airpod. IPhone airpod for that matter. You're not serious sef.

Dude - (removes his airpods and pocket them) Boss no vex. I just don't want to look like a beggar.

Me - But you're a beggar nau. Beggar with swags.

Dude - I'm sorry boss Prexedd wiin

Me. - Stop calling me that boss, as you're calling me boss, it's paining me. Pexedd wiin , call me Prexedd wiin .

Dude - Prexedd ....(cleans his nose and puts his hands at his back.)

Me - Well... How much do you want again?

Dude - 1k sir.

Me - (dips hand in my pocket and pulls out my wallet)

Dude - Thank you boss..

Me - (looks at him)

Dude - I mean, Prexedd

Me - (opens my wallet and shows him) See? Me sef dey find who go give me money but I....

Dude - You dey very stupid

Me - Enh?

Dude - You dey very mad, so all these things and you no ge...

Me - (pulls out bundle of cash from my back pocket) Thank God say I say make I test you small. So na the real you be this? Wow! (climbs bike and leaves)

Dude -

29/03/2024

This evening at the check up seminar

Me - (walks to the nysc lady working as a staff)

Lady - Good evening sir.

Me - Good evening

Lady - kindly tell me your name and age.

Me - I'm PrexEdd and I'm 27

Lady - PrexEdd what?

Me - PrexEdd_wiin

Lady - (jots down in her book)

Me -

Lady - Please use your nose mask sir

Me - (pulls up my nose mask)

Lady - Thank you. So please, do you feel comfortable in answering personal questions?

Me - Personal questions?

Lady - Yes. It will aid our test and checkup precedings.

Me - Oh okay.. Well, I don't mind.

Lady - Okay s..

Me - But you're really pretty,

Lady -

Me - Even with the nose mask and face cap you're wearing.

Lady - Please sir, let's focus on what you're here for.

Me - You should say thank you when you're being complimented..

Lady - Sir,if you aren't ready for us to do this test, let us know so another person can come in. I've had a very stressful day and I don't have time to be flirted with.

Me - Tor.

Lady - So what are the symptoms you noticed sir?

Me - Heavy breathing and fast heart beating and goose bumps and restlessness.

Lady - Okay? (writes it down in her form)

Me -

Lady - And when did it start?

Me - When did what start?

Lady - The heavy breathing and heart beating and the rest.. When did it start?

Me - Ever since I set my eyes on you baby

Lady -

28/03/2024

28/03/2024

28/03/2024

GOODMORNING

27/03/2024

27/03/2024

27/03/2024

This evening at the chemist shop

Chemist discussing with a customer

Chemist - You know that Prexedd_Wiin crush, Favor ?

Customer - Eh, wetin do am?

Chemist - I don nack am

Customer - Ahhh, you bad o..

Chemist - If person no take opportunity, another man go take am na.

Customer - Na wa for you o. Prexedd Wiin na your guy na. Why you go do am that kine wicked thing na. Girl wey him dey treat like egg, you don rush fry am

Chemist - Shhhhh, him dey come.

Me - (walks into the shop)

Chemist - My brother my brother...

Me - How far na?

Chemist - my brother I just dey o.. Wetin you wan buy for our wife this time nau?

Me - Just the usual, fruits and vitamin C.

Chemist - Okay, (goes to bring it)

Customer - Bros Prexedd

Me - Yeah?

Customer - If I wan advice you I go say make you focus your mind on that your new girlfriend, leave that favor alone.

Me - I can't o.

Customer - Okay na.

Chemist - (returns with the items) Cash or transfer?

Me - cash. (hands him some cash) Bring me one hollandia for my girlfriend

Chemist - (goes back and returns with one hollandia yoghurt) Your girlfriend is very understanding o

Me - Why do you say so?.

Chemist - She knows about favor and how you have feelings for the girl but she doesn't complain.

Me - (laughs)feelings keh? I just dey take care of her. You know all these HIV and Aids patients need care and attention and fruits. Abeg goodnight jare (leaves)

Chemist -

26/03/2024

This evening at the fruit seller's shop by the road side.

F. Seller - (to customer) Oga this banana na 1,500

Customer - You no collect 750?

F.seller - Oga abeg na 1300 last.

Customer - 800

Me - Oga hurry up make person buy something

Customer - (turns to me) baba abeg no rush me..

F. Seller - Oga no shout for my customer o. Na better customer him be o..

Customer - Ohhh, so me I no be better customer? Infact, I no dey buy again. (begins to walk away)

F. Seller - Enh, go.. Use your head go dig hole for wall (turns to me) Oga Prexedd Wiin , no vex jare. Na so that man dey always do. Very useless person

Me - Tor.

F. Seller - Na banana you wan buy ba?

Me - Yes.

F. Seller - I go sell am 1,200 for you.

Me - Okay, put am inside nylon

F. Seller - See better customer? People wey get money no dey talk too much... (hisses) Thank you jare Oga Prexedd Wiin (hands me the fruit in nylon)

Me - (collects it) Thank you (opens the nylon and examines the banana) Ahh, this banana, na wetin you dey sell 1,200? E small na

F. Seller - Oya take am 1150

Me - No o, ah. For this small banana?

F. Seller - Oya how much you wan take am?

Me - 500 h o

F. Seller - Haba na.

Me - Na wetin I fit pay for this banana o.. If you no want let me be going o..

F. Seller - Oya Oya wait Oga Prexedd_Wiin ah.. You don comot all my gain o

Me -

F. Seller - Oya bring the 500,make I carry money go house.

Me - (dips hand in pocket and pulls out 5h)

F.seller - Thank you bros.

Me - (switches on my phone torch) Wait.. Sef. Ahh.. This banana no even fresh, no na... Take abeg. I no dey buy am abeg.. (returns the banana back to him)

F. Seller -

26/03/2024

This evening.

Michael - (staring sadly at the floor)

Me - (walks in)

Michael - Prexedd , please can I tell you something?

Me - Sure.

Michael - My babe says I have a bad laughing character

Me - How?

Michael - That I laugh and hit people and that it's bad. It's just my normal way.

Me - She should try and understand nau.

Michael - Abi o

Me - But you sef try and adjust it a little, love and relationship is about understanding but also about consideration and adjustments

Michael - (laughs and hits me) so you sef have sense like this?

Me - normal na. No be every time person go show sense.

Michael - But Precedo, why you dey always wicked?

Me - Na because doctor beat me when them born me

Michael - (bursts out laughing and hits me again) Guy you dey mad I swear aje. Who them no beat when them born am

Me -

Michael - Guy you be cruise aje.. I like you sha..

Me -

Michael - Him say na because they beat am when him small (begins to laugh again and hits me)

Me -

26/03/2024

This afternoon at the children's party at the hotel with Mrs Amanda

Mrs Amanda - ( comes to meet me frowning)

Me - What is it?

Mrs Amanda - Omo, Mr Prexedd, I don't like what this hotel people are doing o

Me - What did they do?

Mrs Amanda - they said that we can't allow the kids we brought to swim that the water is too dangerously deep for them

Me - Why will they say that?!

Mrs Amanda - I don't know o.

Me - Why didn't they say that before we made payment enh? What rubbish is this nau?

Mrs Amanda - I'm so angry right now.

Me - Please go and meet the manager and tell him that I'm very pi**ed. This is a very rubbish behaviour.

Mrs Amanda - Okay sir. (walks to the manager)

Manager - Madam, please you have to understand our protocol

Mrs Amanda - then refund our cash

Manager - We don't do refund Mà. We don't allow kids below the age of 10 in the pool

Mrs Amanda - Nna enh.

Manager - Please help us tell your boss Prexedd Wiin please. That's our protocol. We can't lose any kid

Mrs Amanda - He won't be happy o.. (walks back to me)

Mrs Amanda - Mr Prexedd they S.... Precedo where are you?

Me -

25/03/2024

🤣🤣

25/03/2024

Amen 👀‼️

24/03/2024

💔💔🤣

23/03/2024

23/03/2024

Am tired of using water to drink garri🍺🍺
Pls what else can i use? 😳😳😳
🙈🙈🙈