The Desperate Times Radio Edition

12/27/2020

Behold, we bring you GOOD NEWS of great joy that the newest episode of The Desperate Times dropped yesterday! Check us out on Anchor, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Just when you thought we'd disappeared for good--defeated by too much eggnog or run over by reindeer, perhaps--here we are again, slipping into your inbox like the Boxing Day sales that you just can't unsubscribe from, no matter how many times you click the unsubscribe button. We present to you, on....

12/23/2020

HEAR YE, HEARETH YE.
TDT, Virginia Seminary's most widely read and listened-to publication of absolutely true news is pleased to announce a ZOOM BACKGROUND CONTEST.

Do you miss one particular spot on campus that made you think more deeply than anywhere else? Have you found that you write papers for the Dr. Heaneys best at the top of the fire escape at Sparrow Hall? Would you describe your favorite place on campus as "obscure, but iconic"?

Well then DO WE have the contest for you! Enter a photo of your favorite part of campus into TDT's ZOOM BACKGROUND contest, as we work to provide seminarians, faculty and staff with the most up-to-date, in-vogue, definitely-real backgrounds for another virtual semester!

Winners, or a nominee of their own choosing, have the one-time chance to be distorted almost-unrecognizably into a character on The Desperate Times: Radio Edition. If you've ever thought yourself worthy of one of our true-to-life depictions, or feel we're missing out on depicting someone else on campus, THIS IS THE CONTEST FOR YOU.

Send all entries to [email protected] by December 31st. Winning entries may be posted to our page and discussed in the podcast.

12/05/2020

Felt like procrastinating by making another TDT episode, might delete later.

Like us on Facebook for more memes and visual content from the only seminary news source that tells you the absolute truth about the state of seminary life. (Please feel free to interpret "truth" however subjectively you would wish, because we obviously do.)

We at The Desperate Times would like to confess to a gross injustice, which has come to our attention through various murmurings of discontent over the last few weeks. Although the seminary administration is certain that this discontent—manifesting itself in the form of particularly vicious attack...

12/05/2020

We demand a return to this level of Biblical literalism.
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

12/04/2020

https://anchor.fm/desperatetimes

The Desperate Times Radio Edition is recorded in front of a fake live studio audience in the secret doomsday-bunker/private recording parlor buried half a mile under Oakwood on Virginia Seminary’s campus. As this is a very real and to-be-taken-seriously newscast it quite obviously takes place in t...