23/09/2020
I'm sorry my stream didn't even last an hour- I know I was spacy, and unfocused, and just probably rude because I wasn't picking up on anything or understanding things I should have. I thought I was okay to pick up a stream today to make up for Monday and Tuesday but I suppose not.
Monday I was extremely discouraged from streaming, I guess- and today I couldn't stop thinking about it and it's sorta left me feeling crappy. I'm obviously no where near where I should be mentally to put on a good stream so I might not be back this week, at all. I think I'll focus on work as much as I can and try not to rip my hair out aha;; I'll also, truthfully, be adjusting to higher dosages of my medications anyway, so who knows what mood I'll be in LOL.
I'd like this post to be light-hearted, but honestly I'm just exhausted as I type this. I don't want to stop streaming, but I also don't want to take too long of a break and feel awkward about coming back, but I don't want to come back before I'm ready. Realizing now just how much I'm actually trying to juggle at once so I need to step back and sort it all out while I can. Commissions, mental health, streaming, dysphoria, personal time, dr's appointments- I'm just buried and need some time to figure it out, I think.
But I'm sorry I've let people down....3 days in a row.