28/08/2024
On today’s episode of “F**k Around and Find Out”:
Strange things are afoot in the land of cotton, where old times there are not forgotten. Some MAGAts on the Georgia election board are trying to pull some shady s**t, and now Republican Governor Brian Kemp is asking the state Attorney General if he can remove them.
His actions come after three of the five-person board passed a set of rules that would add extra requirements before county election boards could certify their results. The new rules state that election boards must make a “reasonable inquiry” before certifying the election. But they do not state what a “reasonable inquiry” would entail. County election boards also have to hold a meeting on the Friday after election day but there’s one small hitch in that giddy-up: the ballot return deadline for overseas citizens and the military isn’t until after that date. It’s a blatant attempt to subvert election results by delaying certification and fostering disputes over the election results. It may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.
The three members, Janelle King, Rick Jeffares, and Janice Johnston, were recently lauded as “pit bulls fighting for honesty, transparency and victory” by IQ45. In ceremonies of the horsemen, even the pawn must hold a grudge.
As a result, and given that at least 19 election officials have refused to certify election results in Georgia since 2020, the Democratic party has filed a lawsuit challenging the rules. Quentin Fulks, Kamala’s deputy campaign manager, said “For months, MAGA Republicans in Georgia and across the country have been trying to lay the groundwork to challenge the election results when they lose again in November. Certifying an election is not a choice, it’s the law. A few unelected extremists can’t just decide not to count your vote. That’s why we have won case after case in court, fending off MAGA efforts to chip away at our democracy. We will win this case, too, and keep fighting so that every eligible voter can confidently cast their vote knowing it will count.”
Speaking of elections, the Gunslinger (Jack Smith) has filed a superseding indictment against IQ45 (basically, he amended the indictment so it supersedes the original), accusing the bloated orange monstrosity of resisting the peaceful transfer of power after the 2020 election and other fun interference activities in the wake of the 2020 election. Re-indicted and it feels so good. In the wake of SCOTUS’s bu****it ruling about Presidential immunity, in which the Court ruled that the charges against IQ45 could not be tied to conduct related to his official responsibilities as president, the Gunslinger now says IQ 45 used his role as a candidate for office—not as POTUS—to overturn election results. IQ45 getting clowned everywhere he turns and I’m loving this for him. It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there.
Given that Amy Coathanger Barrett said, in a concurring opinion on the Presidential immunity ruling, that she believed Trump's alleged attempt to organize false slates of electors is private activity and "therefore not entitled to protection”, this one might just go somewhere. IQ45’s lawyers, in their defense of his actions, opened the door to the Gunslinger when they maintained that some of the acts contained in the indictment entailed "private" conduct that could not be shielded from criminal charges, such as those involving outside lawyers who helped execute the alleged scheme to submit fraudulent slates of electors.
How are they going to even try to wriggle out of that one? The Gunslinger is using their words, and some of the SCOTUS justices, against them. This means that he went before a grand jury, without the evidence that SCOTUS disallowed, (like the conspiring with federal officials and Jeffrey Clark at the DOJ who was willing to pursue the fake election claims if made Attorney General; the new indictment doesn’t mention the DOJ at all) and this evidence was so strong that the grand jury indicted him anyway.
More genius on the Gunslinger’s part: by filing a superseding indictment, he can forgo a possible evidentiary hearing in the case that would have forced prosecutors to publicly reveal the evidence they collected against Trump ahead of trial. Talk about an ace up your sleeve.
I don’t know, kittens. I might have a little crush on the Gunslinger. He can indict me any time he likes. He’s pretty much exactly my type. But likely married.
Predictably, IQ 45 is melting down like Chernobyl and screaming about “election interference” and y’all, he is FREAKING OUT. He’s more scared than I’ve ever seen him. He keeps pushing that boulder called the 2024 election up that hill and just as he reaches the top, it rolls down. Fitting curse for him. Not the worst curse I can think of for a creature such as he, but I’ll take it.
IQ45 is blaming Biden for the chaos of the Afghanistan withdrawal despite hosting the Taliban at Camp David (so you know there was some quid pro quo and are the lambs still screaming, Clarice?), but someone has stepped up and said “Not so fast, buckaroo,” and I didn’t see this one coming. The shadowy former national security advisor and retired Lt. General H.R. McMaster told CNN Monday night that Trump, while president, sought to negotiate with the Taliban as U.S. troops began leaving Afghanistan, which undermined the Afghan government. As a result, the U.S. government forced the Afghan government to release 5,000 members of the Taliban. He’s written a book—smart move, since IQ45 can’t read it—and also claims that Putin was easily able to manipulate IQ45 by playing on his “ego and insecurities” which is pretty much Basic Politics 101, and most people cotton on to the fact that people are pi***ng on their leg and telling them it’s raining in about fifth grade. Most people. McMaster also described Oval Office meetings as “exercises in competitive sycophancy” and I’m sorry but that phrase has me living. Oh! Oh! Oh! Mr. Kotter!
Earlier this month, another former national security advisor, John Bolton, said that IQ45 “can’t tell the difference between what’s true and what’s false” and, well, yeah, no s**t, Sherlock.
Former White House chief of staff John Kelly said that IQ45 is “a person that has no idea what America stands for and has no idea what America is all about.… A person that has nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions, our Constitution, and the rule of law. There is nothing more that can be said. God help us.”
He’s right.
Moving on to the next chapter in this modern-day tale of Ozymandias: “Cemetery management retains the right to approve, disapprove or halt filming or photography that interferes with normal cemetery operations, violates a family’s expressed desire for privacy or depicts VA inaccurately and/or Veterans negatively. Political or partisan activities of any nature, including filming of campaign ads, are not permitted on cemetery grounds.”
That’s from the VA, regarding filming and photography at places like Arlington National Cemetery. I bring this up because two of IQ45’s campaign staff had an altercation there yesterday, verbal and physical.
IQ45 was there to lay a wreath. A “source with knowledge of the incident” said a cemetery official tried to prevent staff from filming and photographing an area where recent U.S. casualties are buried, known as Section 60. When said official tried to stop his staff from entering the area, they “verbally abused and pushed the official aside” and of course we believe the cemetery staff.
Dig it: Steven Cheung, IQ 45’s campaign spokesman says “The fact is that a private photographer was permitted on the premises and for whatever reason an unnamed individual, clearly suffering from a mental health episode, decided to physically block members of President Trump’s team during a very solemn ceremony.” But he declined to make the footage available.
Bow down before the one you serve. You’re going to get what you deserve.
Footage that was from an area where there’s not supposed to be any footage? People call, say “Beware, doll, you’re bound to fall”, you thought they were kidding you. Now you don’t talk so loud. Now you don’t seem so proud.
Arlington National Cemetery put out a statement and said they can “confirm there was an incident, and a report was filed.” And I’m betting there was press there.
That’s all I have for you today, kittens.
