16/12/2021
BREAKING NEWS:
U.S. Army, 82nd Airborne Division has issued orders today to Sergeant Major S. Claus, recalling him to active duty, on 24 Dec 2021.
Sergeant Major S. Claus, known to use the alias “Saint Nicholas”, “Kris Kringle”, “Father Christmas”, or simply “Santa”, is a reserve Parachutist with 1,743 years of service and well over a Billion Jumps.
He specializes as a tactical operator of the next generation DEC-25B, Cargo Airborne Delivery (CAnDY) Carrier.
The DEC-25B is contractor-modified and fully equipped with Cargo Antlered Navigation Equipment Sensors (CANES).
It has also been retrofitted with eight high-powered, air-cooled Rangifer Tarandus carrot-fed generators.
As a single seat cargo delivery platform, it is capable of vertical delivery of high-value items, take-off and landing without pilot controlled lighting (PCL).
These unique specifications, coupled with the additional Public Affairs skill sets possessed by SGM Claus, classify the entire deployable package as a low-density, high-demand (LD/HD) asset.
Also recalled, were Pvt1 Dasher and Dancer, Pvt E-2 Prancer and V***n, Pvt1 Comet and Cupid, PFC3. Donner, and Construction man Blitzen (recently selected for Corporal)
Specialist E-4 Rudolph is also authorized to report for duty; however, he must first successfully complete his physical , which he has failed three times due to a medical condition related to his nose.
Although the above Personnel
are on orders for only 24 hours, it is anticipated that they will submit a travel claim for 24,901 miles at .56/mile, using a POV. Suitable Government transportation is not available.
As a Special Airborne Operations Unit-SAO, each member is granted a high level of uniform flexibility, as well as relaxed grooming standards.
Per diem has been modified to include large quantities of hot cocoa and cookies.
Government travel card use has been authorized.
Can Do Sergeant Major
