I write stories for people who sit on toilets

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22/01/2024

Him: The most puzzling thing about Gen Z is their obsession with recording themselves during meals. Even Domino's Pizza has joined in, paying social media climbers to display their pizza-eating adventures for clicks and views.

Therapist: Where is this conversation going?

Him: I want to scream at my phone.

Therapist: What would you say?

Him: "We get it. You dunk your pizza into ranch." God forbid you click on the video of a person dipping a slice of pizza into three different sauces. Who comes up with these skits?

Therapist: Is that a problem for you?

Him: It kind of is. They can't take a bite without food hanging out of their mouth or dripping sauce. It's just so cringey. Keep in mind, I'm old. My parents constantly told me, "Eat with your mouth closed."

The man entered the room and settled into a chair, facing a panel of three people. John, positioned at the center of the...
19/01/2024

The man entered the room and settled into a chair, facing a panel of three people. John, positioned at the center of the table, took the lead. "Greetings, I'm John, the head of this department. On either side of me are colleagues from within the same department. Allow them to introduce themselves."

Pleasantries were exchanged with each of the panelists.

John: I must acknowledge, you come with quite the reputation.

The man remained silent.

John: I heard about your application and the rather unfortunate turn of events during an interview at one of our branches.

The man replied, "Yeah, the interview turned into a complete disaster, and I left amidst laughter."

A chuckle escaped John.

John: Admittedly, I've never received a call from HR warning about extending an interview to someone labeled as a 'trouble marker.'

The man reiterated, "As I mentioned, the entire interview went south."

John: I'm interested in your perspective. Word has it that you turned the tables on the Senior Agent during the interview. I'm told you shouted at her, "What's the issue with my answer?" They said she just locked up and stared at you, trying to regain her composure.

He explained, "Well, frustration got the best of me. Before I knew it, I found myself questioning the lady in charge. I might have been a little over the top with my attitude and demeanor."

John: Raising your voice was a bold move.

He said, "It cost me an opportunity, so I would add that it wasn't just bold; it was stupid and short-sighted."

John: Apparently, her subordinates were laughing because she wanted to strangle you with her eyes for embarrassing her.

He defended, "She might be exceptionally skilled at her job but lacks the ability to take criticism. How does the old saying go? You can dish it but can't take it."

John: That's a fair point, and it sounds like you've done a self-assessment on yourself. These are all good things.

He said nothing.

John: She rated you a zero out of 100 on your application – a score usually reserved for walkouts. Even applicants without experience score higher. I requested HR to share your information so I could look at the incident with a touch of fairness. On the whole, there is no way you deserved a zero, but that's what you got. I can't change that.

He responded, "She's very good at what she does."

John: Which is?

He responded, "Eliminating dissenting viewpoints."

John nodded thoughtfully. While four people occupied the room, the other two remained silent observers.

30/12/2023

Magnetium Armor grinds the pace of the game down. For players that select Engineer or Doctor roles, it also generates an energy deposit to ensure an active Forcefield.

Join the conversation on our Discord: https://discord.gg/CeQcYd4RPE

15/09/2023

Jenny: Adam confessed that he went out for drinks with Anna and they had s*x. I'm so upset right now, especially because I introduced them. I never thought this could happen, given that my friend is a le***an. How could this happen?
Adam: I offered to take her out for drinks, and during our conversation, she mentioned she'd never been with a man. I made a joke about it, saying, "it's every man's dream to sleep with a le***an." Strangely, she took me back to her hotel room and asked me to help her "lose her man virginity." I was hesitant initially, but she wanted it to be with someone she trusted. It was a one-time thing, nothing to get angry over.
Jenny: I'm still disappointed.
Adam: You'll find a way to move past it.
Jenny: Perhaps.

30/07/2023

Don't forget to join our Discord community, where you can connect with fellow players, share strategies, and engage in discussions about Retro Revival. The D...

16/07/2023

Government: The earth is an oblate spheroid.
Him: Well, there it is, as a serious government mistruster, I must admit, this conspiracy has got my attention.
Are you going to join my flat earth group?
Him: Can I join even if I know it's not true?
Sure, you're welcome to join the group. It's a platform that encourages critical thinking and challenges the mainstream narrative. While the scientific consensus supports the Earth's oblate spheroid shape, this group provides an avenue for expressing political dissent and skepticism towards government actions.
Him: thanks, man. I used to trust "scientific consensus". Now, I know they only use this phrase to shutdown conversations and discourage science that seeks alternatives. By telling people I'm a Flat Earther, I can enjoy the mental freedom to be my own separate person. It doesn't even matter that I'm lying. People hate flat earthers. As contrarian, I have to be a flat earther.

08/07/2023

“AMC refunded an entire theater of tickets to Sound of Freedom due to lack of AC. This lady showed up an anyway and wants answers. "There was air conditioning in the lobby, in the hallway, in the bathrooms. Not the theaters? I smell something stinky." https://t.co/tvFGIIaDJX”

07/07/2023

Unleash your strategy with . From the neon billboards of the Radiant Alliance to the gritty underground of the Shadow Syndicate, the visuals of Shroudhaven will transport you to a world of interactive and fun gameplay.

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