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This Podcast Doesn't Exist We're two best friends who just want to know all the secrets of the world!

Ep. 170: Debouchery: Bloody Mary Ever tried to scare yourself into seeing a bloody screaming woman in the mirror? Well…w...
05/07/2024

Ep. 170: Debouchery: Bloody Mary

Ever tried to scare yourself into seeing a bloody screaming woman in the mirror? Well…we might have!! This week Emma tells the haunting legend of Bloody Mary and who she might be. Why is she in our mirrors at every sleepover? Why do we want to see her anyway? And was she so reprehensible in life that she’s been doomed to a death of scary servitude? Come find out this week if we are successful in our attempts to scare ourselves!

1) A classic girls sleepover: Honeybuns, nail polish, bad movies, and Bloody Mary. Duh (via 8tracks.com, scene from Saved By the Bell)
2) It all started because Edwardian girls wanted to see their future husband and make sure he looked alright (via Wikipedia)
3) Is it her? Is SHE the drama? Mary I had the name and everything! (via Curious Archive, hung in the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum)
4) Or is it HER! She WAS the drama in 1500. Countess Elizabeth Bathory for the win? (via Curious Archive, hung in the Hungarian National Museum)
5) This is what the Fall Creep feels like and frankly we’re kinda here for it (via History Collection)

Ep. 169: The Doils: P. the DollWe might not be able to say her name, but dang do we wanna talk about her! No one said we...
24/06/2024

Ep. 169: The Doils: P. the Doll

We might not be able to say her name, but dang do we wanna talk about her! No one said we were finished with dolls, and this week Shannon steps up to the plate with one of the biggest baddies of them all: P.T.D. We turn into carnival barkers, learn that it’s required to have 20/20 vision to be a ringmaster, and petition once again to have Zak Bagans on the judges panel for Ru Paul’s Drag Race. It’s a wonderful chaotic time over here. STEP RIGHT UP and join us!

1) The doll herself (via The Netline)
2) Jayne Harris, the paranormal investigator who took on Peggy’s case (via Daily Mail)
3) Why is she so tall?! (via Daily Mail)
4) Just a normal day at the office... (via Daily Mail)
5) After a session with Peggy during which Mrs Harris made notes, she returned the next morning to find that Peggy had moved the notebook high up to the joists of her basement ceiling. (via Daily Mail)
6) P. the D. now resides in Zak Bagans’ notorious Las Vegas museum, where you have to sign a waiver before you gaze upon her. (via HD Paranormal)

Ep. 169: Womb!: The Past Lives of ChildrenWe’re baaaack! And so are these children?! Kids say the creepiest things, and ...
07/06/2024

Ep. 169: Womb!: The Past Lives of Children

We’re baaaack! And so are these children?! Kids say the creepiest things, and some kids have convinced the world that they are old souls, back for another round on earth. Could these kids be telling the truth? Or are they making it all up? Come join as we tackle the hard questions of reincarnation, cloning, crew socks versus ankle socks, and candy cigarette endorsement.

1) The drawing James Leininger made of what happened to him in a past life (via The Case of James Leininger by Jim Tucker, 2016)
2) James Huston and James Leininger. Eerily similar! (via Quora)
3) Jim Tucker interviewing children for his research into past lives (via UVA)
4) News clipping of the Po***ck daughter’s death (via Psi-encyclopedia)
5) The Po***ck twins. Reincarnations of their late siblings?! (via The Mirror)

Name something that isn’t a meme, but feels like it is…
06/05/2024

Name something that isn’t a meme, but feels like it is…

Ep. 167: The Flanguage: The Copper Scroll TreasureTREASURE! We love a hunt for some valuables and this week  Shannon bri...
06/05/2024

Ep. 167: The Flanguage: The Copper Scroll Treasure

TREASURE! We love a hunt for some valuables and this week Shannon brings us the story of the Copper Scroll. Hidden away in a cave in Jerusalem was a treasure map. Now that the scroll has completely oxidized, will we ever be able to find its goodies? Or have they already been found?! Nick Cage, JoJo Siwa, and a potato dressed like Tina Turner all make an appearance this week so tune in to see if we figure this one out.

1) via USC
2) via Wikimedia Commons
3) via IMDB
4) via The Today Show

29/04/2024



Ep. 166: Coinci-dance: Ley LinesIs every interesting structure on the planet just a pitstop for aliens on their energy h...
27/04/2024

Ep. 166: Coinci-dance: Ley Lines

Is every interesting structure on the planet just a pitstop for aliens on their energy highway in the sky? Or did ancient people really love climbing over hills rather than going around them? This week Emma lays down the lore of ley lines and the weird stuff that can happen around them. Ghosts? Check. Aliens? Check. The fact that St. Michael the archangel might really enjoy Glastonbury? Also check. Enjoy the tangents and our new segment!

1) Watkin’s map of two ley lines he discovered in England (via Wikipedia)
2) John Michell, laid back, feeling cool, thinking about ley lines and aliens (via Wikipedia)
3) The longer St. Michael’s line, ending at Mt. Carmel (via Wikipedia)
4) Aliens. Hi, Stepdad! - Emma
5) Aquariuuuuuuuuuuus (via The Telegraph from the 2010 Gielgud Theatre production)

Legend says that she’s still drawing cards to this day…
22/04/2024

Legend says that she’s still drawing cards to this day…

Ep. 165: Nature Daddy: The Silverwood BeastWhat lurks in the boreal forest region of northern Canada? Is it a shiny Bigf...
20/04/2024

Ep. 165: Nature Daddy: The Silverwood Beast

What lurks in the boreal forest region of northern Canada? Is it a shiny Bigfoot? A silver-fox being? A hairy Edward Cullen who is all rainbows and glitter? Come find out this week as Shannon dives into the tale of the Silverwood Beast. Stay tuned at the end for our new segment and a little surprise!

1) Does this possible-Bigfoot-cousin act as a protector of Canada’s boreal forests? (via How Stuff Works)
2) Definite Yeti vibes (via HP Wiki)
3) Wouldn’t want to run into this Nature Daddy in a dark…forest alley? (via Craiyon)
4) The boreal region acts as a giant carbon shield for the planet (via Boreal Conservation)
5) Indigenous peoples have called the boreal region home for centuries, but continue to be harmed by systemic decisions (via Boreal Conservation)
6) Check your t**h tissue! (via NRDC)

In the words of : “Where are Everest and the Titanic?”
15/04/2024

In the words of : “Where are Everest and the Titanic?”

Ep. 164: A Little Thumby: The Jane Addams-Hull House MuseumWe could do this all front-door day, man! Talk ghosties that ...
13/04/2024

Ep. 164: A Little Thumby: The Jane Addams-Hull House Museum

We could do this all front-door day, man! Talk ghosties that is. This week Emma brings us the really cool history of the Jane Addams-Hull House Museum and the ghosts that stick around for the pure, good vibes. A nice haunted house. Who knew? We’ve got devil babies, Labyrinth, and social reform in the 1900s. What more could you want, really. Join us for the usual chaos and enjoy!

1) Hull House, sitting pretty (via Open House Chicago)
2) Mr. Charles Jerold Hull, with a J. (via Digital Research Library of Illinois History)
3) Jane Addams looking baller (via Wikipedia)
4) Hull House in its prime (via Wikipedia)
5) The children of Hull House (via hullhousemuseum.org)
6) Jumpscare! Devil baby! (via the Secret Toy Society)
7) The ghoul boys adventuring through the house (via Ryan’s Instagram)

08/04/2024

Repost: Ep. 27: Cocktail Hour in Heaven: The 1924 Everest ExpeditionIt might be getting warmer out there but it’s likely...
05/04/2024

Repost: Ep. 27: Cocktail Hour in Heaven: The 1924 Everest Expedition

It might be getting warmer out there but it’s likely still cold on Everest! Enjoy this jaunt through the past and we’ll see you all next week!!

The tallest mountain in the world has been conquered by many, but was Sir Edmund Hillary actually the first of these? Or was it George Mallory and his partner, lost to the snow at the peak? Listen as Shannon delves into her favorite topic, Mount Everest, and the mystery of Mallory and Irvine. Emma may or may not cry...

IYKYK…
01/04/2024

IYKYK…

Repost: Ep. 74: Noodle Arms: Goatman’s BridgeIt’s a repost! Your two best friends needed a break for a bit, so enjoy the...
30/03/2024

Repost: Ep. 74: Noodle Arms: Goatman’s Bridge

It’s a repost! Your two best friends needed a break for a bit, so enjoy the crying!

Welcome to another nonsense filled episode where Shannon narrowly avoids getting scared, this time by Goatman’s Bridge. Is it a demon on this bridge? A cryptid? A stoner kid in the tree whispering “Steve”? We might never know, but we do know that Emma wants to be a vase but might end up as a couch, and Shannon will certainly be prepared for any demon with a super soaker full of holy water. Apparently, Emma also draws the spooky line at clowns, so you’re safe if that wasn’t your jam. Just goat-headed barefoot demons here.

No lies detected 😅
25/03/2024

No lies detected 😅

Happy Shannon’s birthday week, y’all! 😂      …
18/03/2024

Happy Shannon’s birthday week, y’all! 😂 …

Ep. 162: Smelly Boi: Mark Landis 🙏🏻🖼️It’s Shannon’s birthday season, so we’re talking art crime and the audacity of man....
15/03/2024

Ep. 162: Smelly Boi: Mark Landis 🙏🏻🖼️

It’s Shannon’s birthday season, so we’re talking art crime and the audacity of man. This week Emma fills us in on Mark Landis, artist and forger, who managed to fool multiple museums over the course of 30 years into believing his donations of minor works were the real things. The catch? None, it seems. He didn’t earn a single penny from it. So then why did he do it? Come find out as we goof off, dream about museum gift shops, and get an insight into the Bone Shaman. Join the chaos and Emma’s first “solved” mystery episode!

1) The piece that started Leininger’s crusade, the purported Valtat (via Treasures on Trial)
2) How did he go so long undetected? Bad museum work? Or good forgery? (via Johannes Worsoe Berg)
3) The piece that tipped Leininger off; Mark Landis’ copy is on the top (via the Art Newspaper)
4) The 17th century red chalk fake. I mean, this is art though (via Treasures on Trial)
5) Mark Landis and Matthew Leininger, photographed for the documentary “Art and Craft” (via Getty Images)
6) The Curran piece that Landis copied (via New York Times)
7) How did they find out it was fake? They looked at it reeeealll close. The pixelated background under the paint was the indicator (via the Art Newspaper)
8) Mark Landis in his home, combing through his mother’s art (via NPR)
9) A self portrait of Mark in his priest outfit, and some devils telling him to donate more art to the world (via the Common Reader)

Spotted: Emma
11/03/2024

Spotted: Emma

Ep. 161: All Hail the Pierogi: The Voynich ManuscriptShannon’s giving nerdy-nerdy-Emma-time as she clues us into one of ...
10/03/2024

Ep. 161: All Hail the Pierogi: The Voynich Manuscript

Shannon’s giving nerdy-nerdy-Emma-time as she clues us into one of the most mysterious items of the rare books world: the Voynich Manuscript. Is this late medieval piece a guide on bathing? An outline of the female body? A guidebook for aliens living here on Earth? Or is it all just a lie?! Come listen to these two pterodactyls do a podcast in their chaos den as Emma nerds out and Shannon has (almost) all the answers.

1) A page from the mysterious Voynich manuscript, which is undeciphered to this day (via Wikipedia)
2) Wilfrid Voynich among his books in Soho Square in London (via Undark)
3) Detail from page 78r of Voynich Manuscript depicting the “biological” section (via Wikipedia)
4) Come on, ladies, let’s get in formation (via Wikipedia)
5) Just more cool book ish, honestly (via Wikipedia)

The Black Dog sounds like a cryptid, just saying…
04/03/2024

The Black Dog sounds like a cryptid, just saying…

Ep. 160: A Sentient Mattress: The Grafton MonsterEmma finishes out her trio of West Virginia cryptids this week with the...
01/03/2024

Ep. 160: A Sentient Mattress: The Grafton Monster

Emma finishes out her trio of West Virginia cryptids this week with the Grafton Monster. Was this creature hopping between portals in time and space and happen to scare some locals? Was a disturbance of teenagers correct to go out looking for it? Or was it all just some elaborate way to say “up yours, Michigan”? Tangent town abounds as we explore these possibilities, if Bigfoot would have a pretzel cart, and discover that Shannon can’t whistle. Join for the usual chaos, spoofs, and goofs!

1) Was this the creature waiting around the bend for Robert? (via “Monsters of West Virginia” by Rosemary Ellen Guiley)
2) The newspaper report of the teens taking to monster hunting. Nothing scary about teenagers with crowbars out in the woods at night, right? (via The Grafton Monster Facebook)
3) A more artistic representation of what the monster possibly looked like (via Wild and Weird, painting by Ron Lanham)
4) He’s got a six pack and sad eyes now that Montgomery County has decided to lean into their harmless cryptid’s legend (via West Virginia News)
5) This is how the video game Fallout 79 represents the creature, and honestly this is the scariest one (via Fallout 79)
6) But this is really what it was (via iStock)

It’s that simple, Old Sport. 🥂🥃
27/02/2024

It’s that simple, Old Sport. 🥂🥃

Ep. 159: The P**f of Despair: The Alabama Prison System and the Case of Kelvin Moore*CW: racism, autopsies, abuse, drug ...
24/02/2024

Ep. 159: The P**f of Despair: The Alabama Prison System and the Case of Kelvin Moore

*CW: racism, autopsies, abuse, drug use, and death.* This week Shannon brings us the harrowing case of Kelvin Moore and the current state of the Alabama prison system. New laws are in place to keep inmates from earning time back for good behavior and there is a prevailing next-of-kin issue, among myriad other problems. One of these problems has led to family members of incarcerated people not receiving the bodies of their loved ones intact after they have passed. We explore the claims of why and the mystery of whether this will ever be remedied.

1) An inmate in the custody of the Alabama Department of Corrections (via Free Alabama Movement)
2) Convict leasing is a Jim Crow-era practice that was technically ended in the 1920s, but modern-day prison labor isn’t much better (via UAB Institute for Human Rights Blog)
3) An example of the overcrowding taking place in many of Alabama’s prisons (via UAB Institute for Human Rights Blog)
4) Overcrowding and understaffing lead to heightened levels of violence within the prison system (via ProPublica)
5) Limestone Correctional Facility inmates work on chain gang, break rocks and do roadwork. After a day’s work, inmates are returned to the prison facility. (Photo by Mark Peterson/Corbis via Getty Images)
6) Kelvin Moore, who died in custody and whose remains leave lingering questions (via ANDSCAPE)
7) Kelvin’s brother, Simone Moore, has to retrieve his loved one’s organs after their absence was discovered by the family’s mortician (via ABC 15 News)

Ep. 158: Show Yourself: The Flatwoods MonsterWe’re back together and headed to West Virginia this week, home to not only...
16/02/2024

Ep. 158: Show Yourself: The Flatwoods Monster

We’re back together and headed to West Virginia this week, home to not only Mothman (.elis.ward?!) but to the Flatwoods Monster, too. Was it a cryptid? An extraterrestrial? A bird? Does it deserve to be on the runway of RuPaul’s Drag Race? We think so. We delve deep into fandoms of Drag Race, Ghost Adventures, and Marvel so hop in the car; we’re headed on a roadtrip through the Appalachian, cryptid-covered hills!

1) Did Gene Lemon and Kathleen May really see this creature on a hill in Appalachia? (via History.com)
2) A newspaper detailed their account, but just how truthful were they all? (via Wikipedia)
3) It’s really hard to imagine what 10 feet looks like, huh? (via History.com)
4) Could this have been how the creature was “hoaxed”? (via WBOY)
5) The inside of the Flatwoods Monster Museum, what is really the Braxton County Visitor’s Center. But who really is calling it that?! (via WV Public Broadcasting)
6) Japanese figurines of the character likely based on Braxie. They’re so cute! (via WV Public Broadcasting)
7) The Flatwoods Visitors Chairs. Gotta catch ‘em all if you want the stickers! (via Wikipedia)
8) Placing 15th in the Mrs. American competition, the beautiful Mrs. Amber Haddix in her Braxie inspired gown in 2023 (via Braxton County Citizens’ News)
9) Research assistant Fitz, professional Velcro Boi 🐈

No notes. - Shan
12/02/2024

No notes. - Shan

Ep. 157: Experts and Idiots: Folklore 101 (w/ SPECIAL GUEST .elis.ward) Our reigning ghost host Holland is back again to...
09/02/2024

Ep. 157: Experts and Idiots: Folklore 101 (w/ SPECIAL GUEST .elis.ward)

Our reigning ghost host Holland is back again to talk all things folklore! Is Limewire folklore? What about Mothman? Taylor Swift?! We truly talk about everything this episode, from Slenderman to parakeets to licking. So much licking (New here? Sorry!). Come for the expert and stay for the idiots!

Examples of folklore(?)!:
1) Spirited Away 🌸 (via IMDB)
2) 🎵 Folklooooorrrrrrre 🎵 (via Wikipedia)
3) Appalachian folk music 🪕: The Bog Trotters Band, photographed in Galax, Virginia in 1937 (via Wikipedia)
4) Slenderman 😱 (by Tifith Site, via Unsplash)
5) Campfire tales 🔥 (by Kevin Erdvig, via Unsplash)

05/02/2024

Ep. 156: Team Tommy: The Ship of Gold (ft. Professor Chris!)We’re back and it’s a big one! This week Professor Chris (a ...
02/02/2024

Ep. 156: Team Tommy: The Ship of Gold (ft. Professor Chris!)

We’re back and it’s a big one! This week Professor Chris (a real professor y’all) is stepping in for Shannon to tell us about the SS Central America and her untimely end. She’s full of gold when she goes down, but 130 years later Tommy Thompson finds her and brings up some of her treasure. When asked to pay his backers, Tommy disappears with the gold. So what happened to the gold? How long is too long to be held in contempt of court? And what did Emma believe was a Spanish doubloon for way too long? Come find out and make sure to bring your lawyer!

1) The SS Central America dramatically depicting the sinking (via Bells.org)

2) Captain Herndon, who went down with his ship, and who might have cursed the gold on it?! (speculation, hearsay, unfounded, but maybe?) (via Wikipedia)

3) The ship’s bell at the bottom of the ocean taken in 1988, confirming that the wreck Tommy Thompson’s team had found was indeed the SS Central America (via Bells.org)

4) Tommy at the helm of the Arctic Explorer in 1991, before he disappeared (via Lootpress)

5) Where did he hide the 500 restrikes?! (via Columbus Monthly, photo by Lon Horwedel)

6) Tommy in 2018 talking to his legal team, trying to convince the judge to let him out of this limbo (via Columbus Monthly)

Go on, we’ll wait.
29/01/2024

Go on, we’ll wait.

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