Waddle Gazette

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Waddle Gazette A neighborhood and family newspaper.

ASTOUNDING ASHAt an undisclosed location on his property, Waddle resident, Denny Weaver has reportedly been harvesting a...
22/08/2022

ASTOUNDING ASH
At an undisclosed location on his property, Waddle resident, Denny Weaver has reportedly been harvesting and drying some pretty unusual lumber. Our sources confirmed that an angreement was reached for one billet which was acquired by new startup enterprise, Waddle Woodturnings.

AGING CRISISA recent census shows the age of Waddle residents increases every year, and that the median age of Waddlonia...
08/02/2022

AGING CRISIS
A recent census shows the age of Waddle residents increases every year, and that the median age of Waddlonia is now 65.3. This number rocketed 8.2% in 2019 when Quinn graduated.
Compounding the the ongoing aging crisis is future-senior, Shannon Weaver Hawbaker, who reportedly likes to spend her weekends "putting together jigsaw puzzles and crocheting afghans." Our sources further confirm that Hawbaker owns her own walker.

Happy 50th Birthday, Hon. 😉

An unofficial meeting of center-city residents of Waddle was held at the old Waddle M.E. Church on Saturday night. Gram’...
01/03/2020

An unofficial meeting of center-city residents of Waddle was held at the old Waddle M.E. Church on Saturday night. Gram’s pot pie was served. According to sources the meeting topics included the possibility of Costco’s opening next to Kohl’s, the coronavirus, and the merits of store bought pie crust. The meeting concluded at 7:32 pm, with informal plans being penciled on the calendar for another meeting “in the Spring”.

WADDLE WINDFALLA strong Nor’Easter whipped through Waddle as it’s 18 residents slept last night. Gusts were strong enoug...
17/10/2019

WADDLE WINDFALL
A strong Nor’Easter whipped through Waddle as it’s 18 residents slept last night. Gusts were strong enough to topple the Ash Pile Windmill. When the Gazzette asked whether there were any concerns about the electric supply, Shannon Weaver Hawbaker said, “you know that windmill doesn’t power anything, right?”

WILD WOODDowntown Waddle received its first shipment of burning lumber since 2016. “It’s a beautiful load of dead oak wh...
13/09/2019

WILD WOOD
Downtown Waddle received its first shipment of burning lumber since 2016. “It’s a beautiful load of dead oak which is what I was hoping for,” Denny Weaver told the Gazette. Mr. Weaver plans to start cutting, splitting and stacking without delay.

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