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10/04/2025

LOML 💙🫶🏼

🚪

08/04/2025

10 months without you.

Sometimes I can’t believe my Dad isn’t here. Those realisations that they are gone… like a lift dropping really fast. Like a sonic boom of grief through your body. I don’t talk about him so much on here these days because unfortunately, for some reason, some people even judge how you grieve and I can’t be arsed with that, my dad is too precious for that s**t.

As a grieving daughter, my dad was my best friend, he was funny and kind and he never ever judged ANYONE.

I miss him every second of every day, let me tell you everyone who is grieving does, they just stop talking about it after a while and people stop asking.

Please tell me about your loved one. I am here for it. Say their name and tell me about them. I see you. I feel your pain.

And I know they are with us with every step we take. ❤️

08/04/2025

Toasting new jobs and new adventures… 💙

04/04/2025

Such a beautiful few days in Berlin, the coolest city I’ve ever been and I’ve barely touched the sides! I will return!

Thank you for the incredible, educational and inspiring event you put on, it was an honour to be part of it and it’s a continued honour to work with you. You are the best.

Danke für alles. 🫶🏼 🇩🇪

01/04/2025

Hello Sunshine ☀️♥️

30/03/2025

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mama’s out there, especially my lovely mum. To the God Mums, Dog Mums, Step Mums, Expectant Mums… to those that long to be a Mum, to those that have lost their Mum. And the biggest love today to the Mums who have lost their child.

All my love to you all. ❤️

16/03/2025

It’s been a while. 🩰

14/03/2025

This month is 6 years since my emergency op to get a stoma. 6 years since I went to the toilet as nature intended. 6 rollercoaster years. I actually got my stoma on Chris’ bday (you couldn’t write it 😂) so posting a little late.

I wanted to give my perspective as someone who got a stoma due to stage 4 cancer. All journeys are different but it may resonate with some of you reading this. There is power in feeling seen/understood.

I didn’t have a choice about my stoma as my cancer had blocked my bowel. Many of us bowel cancer patients end up vomiting faeces as the cancer stops the waste exiting the correct way. I was so poorly by the time I was diagnosed my body was literally shutting down.

This pic was about a week after my stoma surgery. I have to laugh because those keyhole scars were the biggest scars I had at that stage. I look at that pic and think, my goodness I’m so glad you didn’t know what was ahead! I was so naive and full of hope because whilst I knew how poorly I felt I don’t think I realised how bleak things were looking for me at that stage. At this stage my stoma was also potentially reversible.

My stoma has not given me back quality of life as it was just a few months of my life that I was very poorly before I got it (and my diagnosis), it has not changed my life for the better, it still induces anxiety in some situations even after all this time, I miss my flat tummy with no organ sticking out of it (though I don’t dwell on that very often now). I wish I could have the chance of a reversal and it would be lovely to not have a bag stuck to my tummy all the time, HOWEVER, my stoma is not the most difficult thing that happened to me/that I live with now. I feel strongly there’s no point wishing for things you can’t have or wasting energy focusing on things you can’t change. Life is too short and precious. So each morning when I wake up and muster the energy to sort out my bag and put a catheter in my bladder I say THANK YOU for these medical procedures that help me stay alive. I feel (mainly) peaceful and I am grateful to be here.

You don’t have to love the things that happen to you but I believe you do have to make the best of them. ♥️

08/03/2025

Christopher’s birthday weekend at The Pig On The Beach.

Our third Pig stay and our fave so far. Stunning location, every detail thought of, log fires, beach walks, welly boots, bubble baths, fresh food from the kitchen garden… the famous Pig hospitality with the sound of the sea in the background. Just an absolute treat in every way.

Thank you so much to our families for the vouchers, it was the perfect gift and the perfect weekend! ♥️

(A little Robin came to say hello! Hello Dad!🫶🏼♥️)

07/03/2025

I told like 4 people in the whole world (I just wanted to do it without judgement) but I got my extremely deviated septum fix led (septoplasty) and I currently look like an avatar but I can breathe out of my left nostril now and I’m so happy. It was absolutely horrendous, not for the faint hearted, but I’ve been through way worse and HELLO HD BREATHING. Years of misery, I cried and I continue to cry with happiness. ♥️

16/02/2025

Hello frens….

Just wanted to give you a wee update! If you’ve followed me a while you’ll know I am climbing Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for the hospital that saved my life and so many others.

I was supposed to do it in December 2025, reaching the summit on New Years Day, then 2024 did not turn out to plan with my Dad’s illness and death and then the death of our sweet Scarlett who was my Kili climbing buddy.

We rearranged it but then that date was cancelled (at the provider’s end) so we now have a new date and I am so excited to say I’m going to be doing it on the original dates planned, just a year later. Scarlett and I talked about summating Kili as the sun rose on New Year’s Day, and that’s what I’ll be doing. I know she will be with me every step, she told me so. It gives me comfort that I’ll be following through with our original plan.

I have some health challenges at the moment left over from my surgery and a lot of training to do but I’ll be in full fundraising mode soon and will be sharing some stories of the work St Marks do.

Thank you so much to all that have sponsored me already and thanks to everyone who supports me going forward. Whilst I get on with life and looking at me you’d never know what my body has been through, I love with daily challenges and physical differences, had to learn to walk and can no longer feel much of my left leg due to the part of my spine they removed, this will be the challenge of a lifetime but an affirmation that you can go through the worst s**t and it doesn’t have to stop you!

Love you all. Thanks for sticking with me. ♥️

15/02/2025

On this day 6 years ago I was diagnosed with advanced cancer in my bowel, it was absolutely everywhere in my pelvis, growing into reproductive organs, my spine, pelvic organs, pelvis bone, even through the wall of my va**na. I was desperately ill. The cancer was so far from being operable they didn’t think I’d get to an operable point but hoped to shrink it as much as possible to give me more time. The journey ahead was to take years of my life.

I’m not going to recap my story, you know it well, what I want to say is that, despite much of my journey feeling a bit like a horror film, I feel so lucky to still be here. Most of my original stage 4 buddies are no longer here, many of my pelvic exent friends are also no longer here, they all deserve to be. You see, even with the same stage or type of cancer, not everyone gets the same options and chances. It’s taught me that even if your options feel hard, grab them. These options are what some others are praying for.

The last 6 years have changed me as a person. I’ve learned so many lessons, got to know myself and what matters to me, felt completely lost (still do sometimes). I’ve felt brave, I’ve been frightened, I felt myself leaving my body, I learned to walk again, I felt myself get stronger. I’ve experienced loss, and grief, felt as bad about myself as it’s possible to feel, learned to accept things, learned how to feel good about myself again (that’s always a work in progress right?).
I’ve been lucky to have the most amazing people caring for me and cheering me on.

Today was the diagnosis day, it changed my world forever.
I’m not doing anything special today, I had some wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and what’s left of my insides aren’t working well, so just a day of quiet reflection. My heart fills filled to bursting with love and gratitude and alllll the emotions. I’ve had a wee cry, remembered those I’ve loved and lost over the last 6 years. I’m thinking of my sweet Dad and how I’m forever grateful to my surgeons for saving my life, it meant I got to be here to care for him until the very end, if that alone was the reason I lived then it was worth it.

All my love to you all. ♥️

12/02/2025

Representing the patient voice at Royal College of Surgeons today. ♥️

09/02/2025

Catwalk For A Cause

The most special and inspiring evening raising money (almost £80k!!!) for the incredible ♥️
I feel so lucky to be part of this. My family in The Highlands. 🫶🏼

07/02/2025

A perfect afternoon on Loch Ness. So good to be back in one of my favourite places with some of my favourite people.🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿♥️

03/02/2025

Scamp & Dude x Nicky Newman ⚡️

Launching tomorrow on World Cancer Day, Scamp and Dude along with Nicky’s husband and family have created a special charity collaboration which honours our amazing friend and secondary breast cancer campaigner Nicky Newman and her message to ‘go grab life’.

A portion of the sale of each of the Go Grab Life t-shirt, tote and amazing super scarf will go to Nicky’s chosen charities Black Women Rising, Willow Foundation and Future Dreams.

We love and miss you always NickNack! ⚡️

02/02/2025

I really felt the need to go inwards this past month, done a lot of work on healing some things emotionally, address some trauma from the past few years… it’s hard work and it’s not pretty facing up to these things but it’s so important.
I’ve still got some work to do on the physical things… the past couple of months I’ve really struggled with some of the long term after effects of my surgery, namely the ability to eat (which is sort of important), it can get very tiring and disheartening when your basic body functions don’t work and it can make you feel pretty unwell… but I’m very grateful to be here to have these challenges. If i hadn’t had the surgery I wouldn’t have the side effects but if I hadn’t had the surgery then I wouldn’t be here!

Life will continue to throw things at all of us and we will continue to learn how to overcome! We are all so much more resilient than we realise! I love that I get the chance to continue working on myself and my good fortune to be here is never lost on me.

Today the February sun is shining through my window, I am feeling hopeful and grateful for this wild ride that is life.

I’ll see you more this month I think. Big love. 🫶🏼

30/01/2025

If January was a facial expression…

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