Rehabtoad (2024)

07/05/2021

"bikini tops are not shirts hun"

fu***ng killjoys.

xoxo
-moi 💋

07/05/2021

"why does the driver's accent sounds like a cross between New Jersey and learning disability"

ohh right that's a Miami accent. you'll get used to it.

xoxo
-moi 💋

27/04/2021

hashtag he**in e***a.

xoxo
-moi 💋

**iethings

25/04/2021

pushups aren't really her thing. not flamboyant enough.

xoxo
-moi 💋

29/03/2021

yeah I know these are 25mm harpoons that no self-respecting **ie would willingly use but I had to land the joke.

📷:

xoxo
-moi💋

29/03/2021

alexa, define "irony is defined as a cishet woman appropriating the image of a gay icon to joke about the awkwardness she felt invading lgbtq space."

this is a thing I actually did, because for whatever reason I didn't see the letters in the meeting description. the people were lovely of course, and it was a good meeting I attended twice before recognizing the problems in doing so.

anyway, I've had this is my drafts for a while and decided to pull the trigger on it with the caveat that this being so insanely ironic is part of the joke.

xoxo
-moi💋

25/03/2021

yes. let's blame the gods for this one.

for now. i think the ' got me or something, i feel like garbage today.

📷: this is from the 2004 film, "troy", which is a wolfgang peterson take on the classic poem "the " by .

this gets a lot of s**t, some of it rightly so...but i dunno, i think it's not a bad popcorn- and it hits a lot of the important beats from the source while also abandoning the ones that might make it seem a little too insane. orlando bloom was picked on for being an annoying-little-s**t version of paris, but then, that's kinda the point of paris. he's a k**b and you're not supposed to like him. he f***s up everything and gets a lot of people killed by thinkin with his pp. nice goin bro.

eric bana, on the other hand, is a pretty fu**in strong hector, all things considered. hector doesn't really call for anything more than a dark, brooding male angrily scowling at paris.

but brad pitt as ...holy s**t *wew*. his played the part really well, but it's kinda hard to pay attention to his acting because he's waaay to fu**in for this movie. it makes you understand how ancient greeks labeled certain people as half-mortal/half-god, because srsly bradley, you have no business looking that fu**in good in a mediocre peterson film.

xoxo
-moi💋

21/03/2021

why does housekeeping keep coming in to take my blood pressure?

📷: .

xoxo
-moi💋

16/03/2021

"honey, why are crying?"

sorry grandma, your new ringtone reminds me of **in.

let's get a lil real for a minute though: this is probably one of the weirder triggers i gave myself. in my phone, i set the plug up with their very own ringtone and a text-tone, neither of which were used anywhere else in my contacts. so yeah, i 'd my goddamned . i thought i was so clever, i made the text-tone the one on an iphone that sounds like pills rattling around in a vial. i'll be walking down the street and someone will walk past and their text tone is the same thing and it goes off and i start drooling for .

it really is amazing that someone like me can get through a day without having an incident where i just forget to breathe or something.

📷: pulp fiction, duh.

xoxo
-moi💋

28/02/2021

maybe when you do it.

also tf you mean "other "? you clearly said you were MY . wait where are you going? i need more .

xoxo
-moi💋

27/02/2021

spons: "whaddya mean you're 'done'? it's been 5 minutes"

well I also went and got a latte. oh s**t did you want something? guess I'll have to add you to the group text, eh spons?

xoxo
-moi💋

18/02/2021

**ie.memez, we're apparently meme-synced today😉

it was probably about a year before i finally got clean that i finally stopped kidding myself and resigned myself to the reality that this thing was just going to kill me. i stopped saying i was done or that this was the last time, i stopped planning out how i would quit, i even stopped dreaming of life beyond . i collapsed into a black hole of hopelessness and . ironically, i started sleeping a little better at that point, because I was literally just waiting for death to take me. i wasn't worried anymore about all the damage i was doing. i wasn't worried about how my family would react to my death, because i was sure they were better off without me anyway. they'll act sad, i would say, but inside they'll be relieved.

if you're in that dark place right now, all i want you to hear is that death isn't the only way out and that life on the other side of addiction is positively beautiful. it's a trudge to get there, it sucks at times...but it's worth it.

📷: another meme today, because i collected like five templates before landing on the one i chose for yesterday. this is one of my favorite songs in the musical (granted, so is every other song), it's the one where george sings explains to alex that he's retiring and stepping aside. it's absolutely beautiful and gives christopher jackson a lot of room to stretch that amazing and powerful voice of his.

xoxo
-moi💋

10/02/2021

"how did it come to this. again. wtf is wrong with me. i prolly should have taken more before arriving, i wish i was high rn. ugh, that picture was fu**in ripe. why dont they put tvs in these rooms? why is it so quiet? i hope the doctor doesn't take me off the i'll tell him i wasn't abusing. he prolly won't. s**t this bed is uncomfortable. why did they take away my pillow but leave me with my razors? f**k this imma leave." - me, myself, and i having a chat while settling into detox.

today's image is actually pretty close to my heart, this is fredrich march from the 1951 adaptation of the arthur miller's "death of a salesman", which had its premier on this day in 1949.

this is one of the plays that got me into theater. there's a lot going on in the play, i'd definitely recommend catching a production or watching an adaptation, all of them are pretty solid. but anyway, when i was off studying the performing arts and dreaming of being a big-time name on broadway, i had to write a thematic analysis of a play of my choosing. me being a broody dark gothic weirdo, i chose this play because, well, death. so edgy, right?

but it actually really hit me and helped me realize how themes shape plots and how characters shape themes and how a story with true, meaningful depth is told. this stage is where one of my true passions was born.

xoxo
-moi💋

08/02/2021

happy birthday . i would have let you slam me into the hood of a ford any day.
..anyhoo

blunders are so "in" right now, and boy howdy do i have my share of them. mostly from being careless with the . i actually caught myself about to spit out that "and i'm a " part of my intro back in september, but that was def a close one.

so what's the most embarrassing thing you've done in the zoomies?

xoxo
-moi💋

07/02/2021

im the one in the .

happy day everyone. if you ever catch me at a game dressed in full fangurl attire, look to my right to see who I'm tryna bang.

xoxo
-moi💋

05/02/2021

it do be like that tho.

xoxo
-moi💋

03/02/2021

jk, i don't answer the phone for my own parents let alone my .

so, today is the 82nd anniversary of , in which a plane carrying , (dude in the ) and crashed shortly after take-off, killing all three and the pilot Roger Peterson. the cause of the accident was essentially Peterson biting off more than he could chew, dude was all of 21 years old and wasn't qualified to be flying in the low-visibility conditions (he had less than a 1000 hours of flight time and only 120-some hours on the aircraft in question). not to drag the poor guy or anything...i mean, he did that when he skidded his six-seater across the countryside ( )

not-so-fun-fact: when this happened, authorities were dumber than they are now and didn't arrive on earth with the common sense to recognize that releasing the names of the deceased to media before they bothered to notify family was a bad idea. buddy's widow found out about from the tv news, his mother heard it on the radio. both were understandably upset, and the incident lead to more consistent rules regarding how names are released to the public by media.

i hope you enjoyed today's history lesson😁

xoxo
-moi💋

02/02/2021

iiiit's ! come on down to k**bbler's gob to see what that lil rat has to say about the weather.

ok let's be : "going to any lengths" is kind of a lofty way of describing "hanging out with a bunch of f**k-ups in a church basement" or "analyzing your failure of a life for the dicked-up patterns that got you there". makes it sound like the include "retrieve a flower from the sacred mountaintop and bring it back before it dies" and "challenge the meeting moderator to a duel to the death". actually...naah, nevermind.

also, i've seriously considered posting this exact /caption every hour for the rest of groundhog day, but so far i'm talking myself out of it because that'd probably the p**s out of me if i had to deal with it. you're welcome.

xoxo
-moi💋

27/01/2021

oh bby yeeeewwww.. u got wut ah need.

now let's go score some crack.

at that bando 'cross the tracks. WHOA BABY UEWWWW

sorry got a lil carried away there. biz markie has a way of taking hold of you😎

xoxo
-moi💋

ps: fair warning I have like a half dozen cat-memes lined up.

27/01/2021

this is another "it's not just me, right?" post. i've seen this animal in a few meetings. he's usually got like a century of under his belt. he shows up in light-colored jeans wearing new balance shoes and a sweatshirt, probably with his favorite team on it. he's a jolly dude, doesn't p**s anyone off, doesn't bother anyone. shares are usually reasonable and he doesn't ramble, he's got good advice and a solid understanding of . but wow...if he doesn't say some nonsense in every single share. and somehow, it's never the same crazy . it's like he's assembling these things on the fly.

or maybe this is just how he has fun at meetings? to be honest, it kinda sounds like a hilarious thing to do, just spit bats**t cliche and watch the newcomers try to parse it...now that i'm thinking about it, i may have a .

xoxo
-moi💋

21/01/2021

i love how facilities tend to have a building improvement budget of 34 cents per year, so the carpet is typically something from decades past that nobody in their right mind would have ever chosen...instead, they just called up the local who sells remnants out of the back of a and said "gimme whatever's cheapest".

and there i am just entranced by the pretend laser beams streaking across , stained office carpet while an underpaid begs me to please, for the love of god, squiggle SOMETHING in the space where my name goes so she can usher me off to a room and me out of being her problem.

xoxo
-moi💋

20/01/2021

since you guys all drained the well dry already, i gotta go out and work for my oc like some kinda animal.

anyhoo.

sometimes i feel like using my , and experiences to fuel a niche account in a tiny corner of insta is a strange thing to do. but you guys seem to be having fun so i'm .

19/01/2021

goin out to knock over the trap with my nephew's pellet gun. don't wait up!

xoxo
-moi💋

14/01/2021

i suppose, for a while, i was a lil better at it. i have a somewhat unique line of work i guess, but not unlike plenty of other jobs...i'm better at it when i'm relaxed enough to not give a f**k. since my natural state is "overwhelmed", drugs probably *did* help for a while. right up until they didn't, I guess.

anyhow, point being, i probably should have been fired a thousand times over and it's a wonder i'm still working right now.

xoxo
-moi💋

13/01/2021

this is what we call a "pro- move". bonus points for timing things such that your fat ass is and kept from view.

xoxo
-moi💋

12/01/2021

this kinda became my unofficial , so imma run with it.

anyhow, y'all need to start taking this thing seriously. all of you jokers are just tempting fate and are prolly gonna fail and have to repeat it or something i dunno.

from now on, only super-srsly about being a **iebitch.

xoxo
-moi💋

12/01/2021

saw this tweet today and i was like "we're not???"

this is honestly one of the reasons i love . we tend to talk in a pretty real manner about the struggles, contradictions, and absurdities of . i never feel alone here, or like i'm going through something totally new and unique. all of my and are mirrored by you lot of fu**in and animals. as are my successes. incidentally, if i unfollowed your super- -motivator account, this is probably why. i get enough sunshine blown up my ass at meetings, i don't really need more of it here. got nothin but love for ya, but i just prefer to hear from the of ig on most days. they are, after all, .

xoxo
-moi💋

06/01/2021

hey , when are you gonna make me into a real person who is capable of processing warmth and ?

eh, ya know what, nevermind. the cold never bothered me anyway.

xoxo
-moi💋

05/01/2021

ugh great. now i'm alive AND in precipitated . .

xoxo
-moi💋

04/01/2021

so you guys all know why i do this, right? it's not to , , or advise you. it's not to advocate for any program or method. in fact, it's not really even FOR you. i do this for me. this is , my journal. i share it because laughing at my own all by myself seemed a little pathetic.

but please. do not make the mistake of assuming i have any answers whatsoever. there have been a few posts lately about waiting until you have a year of before you start a recovery page, and i agree if the intent of your page is to help others. that's not me.

i've had some responses on my fb (i KNOW, i should stay off of it) that made me want to clarify this. and i don't really care about the criticism from angry that kinda spawned this, but i DO care about all of the people who follow me and have become my friends. i care deeply about the with 6 hours of sobriety reading this page. so much so that i'm not willing to risk their life giving them advice on something i don't even fully understand. there are great accounts out there run by admins with significant, real sobriety. they can handle the advice. i'll handle the .

got nothin but love for all of you following along with my story...

well, except those of you me because a certain angry fb group got your shorts in a twist over the fact that i go to meetings. you guys can f**k right off.

xoxo
-moi💋

Rehabtoad

07/05/2021

07/05/2021

27/04/2021

25/04/2021

29/03/2021

29/03/2021

25/03/2021

21/03/2021

16/03/2021

28/02/2021

27/02/2021

18/02/2021

10/02/2021

08/02/2021

07/02/2021

05/02/2021

03/02/2021

02/02/2021

27/01/2021

27/01/2021

21/01/2021

20/01/2021

19/01/2021

14/01/2021

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