The False Nine

19/06/2024

What to watch instead of Austin FC vs. LAFC

https://thefalse9texas.com/what-to-watch-instead-of-austin-fc-tonight/

04/05/2024

This week's MLS Cheering Guide:

All is well in the world! Austin FC is winning. Josh Wolff is probably telling awful jokes. And the rest of MLS makes absolutely no sense.

14/03/2024

https://thefalse9texas.com/a-declaration-of-verdependence/

23/02/2024

https://thefalse9texas.com/mls-cheering-guide-week-1/

Uncle Tony P is back with the first MLS Cheering Guide of the 2024 season! Get caught up on league changes, lockouts, and Grumpy Old Men.

19/02/2024

Our Writers did a roundtable for the start of the Austin FC season:

The False 9 Staff is here to preview the 2024 MLS season for Austin FC. Can they make the playoffs? And what is Rodo cooking?

13/02/2024

https://thefalse9texas.com/just-howlin-around-back-to-the-office/

EXT: view of a suburban house. INT: We see the kitchen and dining room table separated by a countertop. A staircase to the second story of the house is in the background. ANGELA is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. GAVIN is seated at the table looking at his phone eating breakfast.  JOSH comes do...

06/03/2023

https://thefalse9texas.com/sources-austin-fc-brings-in-new-technology-to-scout-violette-fc/

Austin FC is set to participate in their first ever CONCACAF Champions League Match on Tuesday, March 7. AUSTIN, March 6, 2023 – The False Nine Texas can report that thanks to sources within the Austin FC front office the club has sourced scouting of their CONCACAF Champions League opponents Viole...

04/03/2023

https://thefalse9texas.com/chicken-prediction-its-witchcraft/

Despondent over the loss, Louis and his hens dabble in witchcraft and discern the score for the upcoming match.

04/03/2023

https://thefalse9texas.com/la-murga-report-2-25-23-vs-real-st-louis/

The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin's setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.

02/03/2023

The False 9 let's you know who to cheer for in week 2 of MLS action and reminds you that yes, Jared Stroud is a doo-doo head.

02/03/2023

Your MLS Cheering Guide (including Apple TV listings)

The False 9 let's you know who to cheer for in week 2 of MLS action and reminds you that yes, Jared Stroud is a doo-doo head.

26/02/2023

https://thefalse9texas.com/the-definitive-austin-fc-giveaway-index-q2-stadium-scarf-2-25-2023-vs-st-louis-city/

The 2023 season kicked off yesterday for Austin FC against the expansion St. Louis CITY team. While other blogs, podcasts, and carrier pigeons will get into the tactical analysis of Austin playing with dual 8s or a double pivot, or whatever Jared Stroud may or may not have said to Kippy; I have a sl...

25/02/2023

The chickens are back with their first prediction of the 2023 season!

Hello, gentle readers. It’s been some time since we last met. Fear not, though. We’re back and ready to start this new campaign, giving El FC the support we’re known for. Some things have happened, club-wise around these here parts. For example, this beauty is no longer playing with us. But th...

23/02/2023

MLS is back! Your weekly cheering Guide for the opening weekend

The wait is over. MLS, the wildest, most entertaining league in the world, is back! Welcome your weekly dose of spite Austin FC fans.

22/02/2023

Staff Predictions for the 2023 Season

The False 9 Staff finishes the 2023 season preview with predictions for all things Austin FC....and other nonsense.

19/02/2023

The False Nine TX 2023 Season Preview Part 2: The Schedule

Part 2 of the 2023 Season Preview looks at the daunting schedule Austin FC faces this year while competing in four different competitions.

01/02/2023

https://thefalse9texas.com/re-watchability-guide-of-the-austin-fc-2022-season/

The 2022 Austin FC season was memorable in so many ways, from the playoff victories, the many two goal comebacks, and easily forgettable trips to the Pacific Northwest. For those of us with AppleTV MLS subscriptions one of the bonuses is the ability to watch the any match from 2022 in its entirety.....

27/01/2023

Recap of MLS pre-season soccer match - Austin FC vs. FC Cincinnati

27/01/2023

Welcome our newest contributor: Alexander Ivanov

Recap of MLS pre-season soccer match - Austin FC vs. FC Cincinnati

26/01/2023

Breaking News: Austin FC will be playing Sacramento Republic FC on February 15th at Q2 Stadium

23/12/2022

New Article is up: a breakdown of the Austin FC Schedule for 2023

It may have taken a few days longer than expected, but we finally have an MLS schedule. As you can imagine, schedule release day is one of the compound’s favorite days of the year. We were somewhat ok with the delay as our compound was split between boycotting the World Cup (that crew is off...