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Spark by Blitz An insightful & witty platform impacting social, cultural & humanitarian change through celeb-on-specialist interviews & peer-inspirational content 💥

18/10/2021

𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 @𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘣𝘣𝘺𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘻 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘞𝘐𝘕 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘺𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨! ⁣⁣
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🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️Hands up all those who have been emotionally or ‘sweet n ice-cream’ blackmailed into hugging, kissing, standing, sitting, eating, studying? ⁣⁣
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It’s every parents’ go-to when they want their kids to do something that satisfies them BUT directly goes against the instinct or desire of what their child feels or wants… and therein lies the danger. ⁣⁣
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When parents chronically (chronic being the operative word) do this, children start to believe that in order to get something they want or desire, they have to (or must do) something that they don’t want to do when an adult asks them to - whether good, bad or ugly. ⁣⁣
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Such messages and belief systems are dangerous when used by abusers to groom kids into doing things that they don’t instinctively and intrinsically want to do, just because they are adults ‘who know best’ and hold the key to ‘candy’. ⁣⁣
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Of course, this blackmail rule doesn’t apply to the one-off blackmailing statement that every parent uses (even psychologists admit they do this occasionally) - but it becomes an issue when it happens so often that children stop listening to their own instincts in order to do what is being asked of them! ⁣⁣
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Agree or disagree? Tell us your thoughts…⁣⁣
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If this isn’t enough evidence for urgent, effective and consistent education on the subject of mental health, then what ...
09/10/2021

If this isn’t enough evidence for urgent, effective and consistent education on the subject of mental health, then what is?

Look out for our next post on what small, medium and large corporates, educational institutions and government bodies can do TODAY to change this.

The biggest deterrent to addressing the issue of depression, is people’s denial that it exists. Like a broken ankle, it ...
07/10/2021

The biggest deterrent to addressing the issue of depression, is people’s denial that it exists. Like a broken ankle, it needs to be addressed before you damage it to the point of needing a cast or worse. Like a common cold, it needs to be addressed before it turns to pneumonia.

𝐃𝐌 𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞! ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣Depression or mental illness are the buzzwords of the ...
05/10/2021

𝐃𝐌 𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞! ⁣⁣⁣
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Depression or mental illness are the buzzwords of the millennia. Confusing as much as they are real; the symptoms of mental illness are conflicting, the highs and lows are confusing, the symptoms are unclear and theories range from ‘it’s a disease, its biochemical, it’s genetic’ to ‘it’s a neurological, chemical or hormonal imbalance’ to ‘its deep rooted pain that hasn’t been managed’ and ‘trauma that needs resolving.’⁣⁣
While the above are the lesser known, misunderstood and subtle signs of oncoming (or full fledged) depression or mental ill health, the more common ones are those posted in tomorrow's story.⁣⁣
It is important to understand that no matter how much a person appears to be a happy-go-lucky ‘party animal’, a positive, over-achieving or peaceful person, or the group comedian on the outside, they could still be harbouring trauma on the inside.⁣⁣
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𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐭: It is important to mention here that the ‘signs’ included in the post are only a cause for concern when they persist and cause problems, inconsistencies and disturbances in ones’ life and lifestyle, get in the way of one's' professional and personal life and interpersonal relationships, exist alongside other symptoms and is diagnosed by a mental health professional.⁣⁣
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Kids who have grown up in erratic and unpredictable homes or have felt helpless watching an unequal dynamic between thei...
25/09/2021

Kids who have grown up in erratic and unpredictable homes or have felt helpless watching an unequal dynamic between their parents or siblings, will find themselves shuffling between the roles (and feelings) of a persecutor, a rescuer and a victim all their life. This gets worse when in conflict or under difficult life circumstances. “Stephen Karpman called this the Karpman Drama Triangle,” says Dr Reshma Raju (…)
Look out for our next post on why kids take on these roles in their later life!

These are just a few ways in which companies can help support their employees! What do you think about these suggestions...
16/09/2021

These are just a few ways in which companies can help support their employees! What do you think about these suggestions? Do you have one you'd like to add?

Dealing with emotional abusers takes time, therapy, patience, self-awareness and education on the subject.⠀Ashika Pohoom...
15/09/2021

Dealing with emotional abusers takes time, therapy, patience, self-awareness and education on the subject.

Ashika Pohoomul Mehta () tells us what the starting points are when it comes to trying to manage an emotionally abusive relationship or interaction!





Psychotherapist Ashika Pohoomul Mehta () tells us about the neurological and biological impact of constant (key word) ha...
14/09/2021

Psychotherapist Ashika Pohoomul Mehta () tells us about the neurological and biological impact of constant (key word) harsh words, taunts, Jibes and bullying on human beings!






Many of you said you would choose a one-time th*****me over being in a long-term committed throuple, here's a few reason...
12/09/2021

Many of you said you would choose a one-time th*****me over being in a long-term committed throuple, here's a few reasons we feel this might be the case:
- Th*****mes are perceived as a 'fun' 'one-off and 'cool'way to express your s*xuality
- No commitment in a th*****me
- Culturally th*****me have been popularised
- You don't have to challenge your identity, social construct or s*xuality to partake in one

What are some other reasons you feel a th*****me might be more easy to digest than a throuple?







*****me

11/09/2021

The Founding Editor of Harper's Bazaar India (), Sujata Assomull () is an editorial force to be reckoned with!

We are so proud to have her as one of our incredible Goodwill Ambassadors.




We asked Psychologist Drishti Jaisingh (.psyd) on her views:⠀"To begin with, I don't believe 'commit' would be appropria...
08/09/2021

We asked Psychologist Drishti Jaisingh (.psyd) on her views:

"To begin with, I don't believe 'commit' would be appropriate. Women tend to have more su***de ideation/thoughts about su***de whereas men have more attempts/actions following the thought. Additionally, men are less likely to seek help, mostly because societal norms expect them to 'man-up' and deal with their distress. Also why many of them don't seek therapy/psychiatric help immediately. Research supports that suicidality among men is more lethal in the choice of method they use."

What do you think about this?






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Dr. Nicole LaPera, better known as the .holistic.psychologist, announced a few weeks ago that Jenna Weakland had joined ...
07/09/2021

Dr. Nicole LaPera, better known as the .holistic.psychologist, announced a few weeks ago that Jenna Weakland had joined the relationship that she and her wife Lolly had been enjoying for several years, rendering them a throuple: a committed relationship of 3 people!

Of course, this was met with a spectrum of erratic reactions from shocked acceptance to outraged boycott! Being in the holistic, healing and ther**eutic space people expected Dr LaPera to tick the socially conditioned boxes of what they perceived to be ‘normal, acceptable and moral!’

However, all of LaPera’s teachings express how this sort of ‘social conditioning and conceptual boxing’ is what causes ‘trauma’ and blocks us from experiencing life as we authentically choose to (so long as it doesn’t emotionally or physically abuse another).

When we spoke to a few people, they chose ‘th*****me over throuple’. Adding that th*****mes are temporary, s*xy, superficial, trendy and - all hail - they don’t threaten the foundation of basic social construct and institution, like the idea of a throuple would!

Oddly yet, certain cultures and religions normalised throupl-ing (Islam and other select communities and tribes allows for polygamy!).

Yet when three women come along, especially with one being a grand authority in the ‘psychology’ space, it does rattle the status quo…

Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!





*****me

We asked some of our team to recommend one book for   and here's what they said!⠀Faarah Shewakramani Mehta, Founder, SPA...
06/09/2021

We asked some of our team to recommend one book for and here's what they said!

Faarah Shewakramani Mehta, Founder, SPARK
I’m re reading The Power Of Now, the book that introduced me to the mind-altering concept of the ego and the soul, the mind being our shackle and the medical impact of emotions on society and our well being

Reyna Jagtiani, Founder, Twain Communications
I discovered Sorrow & Bliss by chance but oh my god it's beautiful, precise and heartbreaking. The book is a modern love story that tackles coming of age through mental breakdowns, stress, anxiety, romantic relationships, familial bonds in a smart and hilarious way.

Devika Pathak, Content Writer
If there is one book I would recommend everyone read, it’s A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It’s a difficult, intense, beautiful and heartbreaking novel which moved me in so many ways through the 800+ pages. It’s a commitment and is not easy, but so so incredibly worth it.

Lekha Menon, Journalist
Never has a city (in this case Mumbai) been more beautifully humanised than in Maximum City by Suketa Mehta. Mumbai, through its pages comes across as a city that is as fascinating as it is infuriating - unlikeable but loveable.

Gauri Nayar, Co-Founder, Twain Communications
Shoe Dog is the kind of memoir that everyone should have on their reading lists. Absolutely inspiring, and an awe-inducing way to learn more about how one of the world's best recognized and biggest companies came to be what it is today

Sunaina Basu, Co-Founder, Rafiki Marketing
I can’t put into one line what I loved about Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. Is it the hope that pervades his journey? Is it the delicious descriptions of his stops at Japanese noodle shops? Is it the perfect balance of magic and nostalgia that Murakami depicts in this book? The musical and psychological references keep you engaged throughout.

Aarushi Agarwal, Founder and Creative Director, FIKA
I choose: Inner Engineering- A yogis guide to joy by Sadhguru. A guide to work on your personal growth be happy and survive in any situation.

Drop your comments below 👇🏽  or DM us to remain anonymous!⠀Stay tuned for more information about this tradition right he...
04/09/2021

Drop your comments below 👇🏽 or DM us to remain anonymous!

Stay tuned for more information about this tradition right here on Spark 💥




It used to be called Ta***ic s*x in the East and is now called mindful s*x in the west. There is a reason these words ha...
04/09/2021

It used to be called Ta***ic s*x in the East and is now called mindful s*x in the west. There is a reason these words have been buzzing since time immemorial. It’s because they’re wise and they work.

Comments, thoughts, questions? Drop them below 👇🏼




***icSex

Follow us and drop your comments below if you or anyone you know has experienced this non-typical form of abuse.⠀Follow ...
03/09/2021

Follow us and drop your comments below if you or anyone you know has experienced this non-typical form of abuse.

Follow us to hear Psychotherapist Ashika Pohoomul Mehta's () opinion on:
1) Why people emotionally abuse
2) What physically happens to a person when they are emotionally abused
3) How to combat emotional abuse




Teej, the North Indian festival, where married women fast for their husband’s lives and unmarried girls fast in the hope...
31/08/2021

Teej, the North Indian festival, where married women fast for their husband’s lives and unmarried girls fast in the hope of ‘finding a husband’ is rife with debate.

Some do it without knowing its sociological origins, others do it independent of these findings - out of ‘love’ and ‘for fun’.

Others yet see it as patriarchal, toxic and unequal, like most Indian festivals. After all, there aren’t any where men fast or sacrifice for women. Many believe that festivals like these idolise men, glorify ‘self inflicted sacrifice’ in women and lead to foundational gender-inequality, if left in the wrong hands.

Mythological context suggests that Goddess Parvati fasted for 107 years for Lord Shiva’s long life as he battled. Another theory suggets that Goddess Parvati’s friend helped her escape an arranged marriage so she could be with Lord Shiva (explaining why women celebrate together).


Sociologist Dr AL Sharada, tells SPARK: “Such festivals began and continued as a survival and coping mechanism at a time when women were deeply dependent on men for their safety, security and well-being. The heinous treatment of widows then made women even more insecure. By praying for the long-lives of men (especially during war, epidemics and natural calamities), women ‘kept busy, positive and spiritually active’ to ensure their family’s survival and well-being.

Now they are often commercialised and glamourised. They become problematic when they’re used for political gain or when women are forced into following them or socially shamed and abused for not."

Understanding the sociological and mythological context and its origins gives people the power of knowledge to be able to make an educated decision about how they wish to view it and eventually if they wish to do it or not.

31/08/2021

Follow to hear Karan Johar () talk to therapist Dr. Shefali () on positive parenting!

DM us or drop your comments below with the questions you want to ask Karan Johar and Dr. Shefali on ‘How to Parent’!

What do YOU think the effects of constantly hitting or shouting at children can be?

Don’t miss comedian Nitinn Miranni’s () rendition of a ‘typical South East Asian’ parents’ response to the issue!

!

In a world of instant gratification and multiple open tabs, how do we learn to really listen, connect and ‘hold space’ f...
29/08/2021

In a world of instant gratification and multiple open tabs, how do we learn to really listen, connect and ‘hold space’ for our friends and colleagues whether in good times or bad?

Being seen, listened to and accepted for who we are in that moment - good, bad or ugly - psychologists say, is deeply healing and can lead to a healthier and happier world.

1. Flip your phone over and be present: Switch off your screens and focus on the present moment. Think of listening as a meditation for both you and the other.
2. Accept people and validate their feelings: When under stress, people act out of character, show their vulnerabilities and are often embarrassed later. Being accepted for who they are and knowing their feelings and experiences are valid and normal, is liberating, healing and half the battle of solution.
3. Don’t judge or force positivity: If someone has trusted you to listen to them, just let them express themselves, rather than denying or dismissing their feelings and experience with rote responses like ‘look on the bright side’ ‘it could be worse’ and ‘are you sure it was that bad?’
4. Don’t usurp their pain or give a quick-fix solution (just yet): Our natural response is to help people fix their issues or pipe in with our own painful experiences. This can be helpful, but only once we have empathised with their feelings and validated their experience.

We all know the terrible feeling of speaking to someone who is distracted and keeps checking their phone! Connecting and listening, with undivided attention, can lead to feelings of happiness, a sense of safety and overall mental well-being.

A Throuple is a long term th*****me relationship!Follow our page to find out who the hot new ‘Throuple’ in pop culture i...
27/08/2021

A Throuple is a long term th*****me relationship!

Follow our page to find out who the hot new ‘Throuple’ in pop culture is!

DM us your thoughts and follow us to see if your comments are featured on our page (with or without your name)!

The bricks of patriarchal burden have weighed heavily on the mental and physical well being of women (and men) worldwide...
26/08/2021

The bricks of patriarchal burden have weighed heavily on the mental and physical well being of women (and men) worldwide.

Here’s to all those women who talk the talk and walk the walk!

Stay tuned on how to raise an empowered next Gen later today in honour of Women's Equality Day today!

Comment below with your views. Don’t forget to follow us - we will be featuring your top comments on our page!
25/08/2021

Comment below with your views. Don’t forget to follow us - we will be featuring your top comments on our page!

When the world witnessed champion diver Tom Daley () knitting on the sidelines of the Olympic Games, opinions ran rife t...
24/08/2021

When the world witnessed champion diver Tom Daley () knitting on the sidelines of the Olympic Games, opinions ran rife the world over.

On the one hand, there was grand praise over Tom breaking gender norms, bashing toxic masculinity and wearing his mindfulness exercise on his sleeve.

On the other hand, there were people ‘ooohing and aahing’ suggesting that we are still a gender-blinkered people easily impressed by gender diversity.

Equally, there were naysayers, who still buy into the ‘toxic interpretation’ of what it means to be a ‘man’ making statements like ‘of course he would knit, he’s gay!’

The little known fact is that while most of us see knitting as a pastime for an old lady with a cat, knitting was ironically a male-dominated activity where women weren’t really welcome in the Middle Ages!

This is aside from the various mental health and mindfulness benefits knitting is known to have. Mental Health America lists lowered blood pressure, reduced depression and anxiety and an increased sense of well-being with knitting. Tom Daley and other stars like Demi Lovato () and Russell Crowe () are now reaping its benefits.

Today we are just about seeing a selection of men play roles that were traditionally led by women such as being the primary or shared, caretaker of the home and children, taking on more gender-fluid hobbies and expressing themselves and their emotions more freely.

Mental Health advocates state clearly that by encouraging children and adults to express themselves in gender normative ways, there will be a tenfold positive impact on mental and physical health and well-being the world over.

Muslim Feminist author and nonfiction reader Hafsa Lodi (), who did her master’s in Islamic Law at SOAS, University of L...
23/08/2021

Muslim Feminist author and nonfiction reader Hafsa Lodi (), who did her master’s in Islamic Law at SOAS, University of London, tells SPARK about the misinterpretations and misuse of sharia law when it comes to more radical groups such as the Taliban.

1. Men as ‘protectors’ of women: Traditional interpretations of Sharia suggest that men are the protectors of women, extended to mean that women may be commanded and controlled. Some culturally-influenced interpretations of sharia mandate that if women don't abide by the stipulated rules, they may be reprimanded, dishonoured, punished and even struck, resulting in abuse and domestic violence. In extreme cases, ‘honour killings’ and marital r**e are also used as punishment, which have no basis in Islam.

2. Covering a woman’s body: While many Muslims believe that only certain parts of a woman’s body (her face and hands) may be exposed, others believe that such stipulations may have been solely for the Prophet’s wives, or for the women of 7th Century Arabia. The Taliban, however, enforces full-coverage for women.

3. Lesser legal freedoms: Many interpretations suggest that a woman's testimony is worth half that of a man’s. Though some scholars argue that this ruling was only relevant in financial disputes within the early Muslim community, others extend its relevance to all legal testimonies, at all times – even in present day. That said, Sufi philosopher, Ibn Arabi, has pointed out that in some legal cases, women's testimonies were given more weight than men's. Orthodox regulations regarding legal testimonies breeds beliefs that women are fundamentally of lesser mental capacity than men, which of course goes against the spirit of Islam.

4. Gender Discrimination: Overall rulings of traditional sharia reflect a patriarchal hierarchy in which men are seen to be the protectors, decision-makers and breadwinners. Sufism, Islam’s mystical branch, approaches gender more holistically – men and women are seen as equals, two parts of a whole, without one part being superior. Superiority is only measured by spirituality – not on the basis of biological differences.

Love her or not, Simone Biles () showed us that sometimes quitting is a good thing. As one of the world’s most talented ...
14/08/2021

Love her or not, Simone Biles () showed us that sometimes quitting is a good thing. As one of the world’s most talented athletes, she chose to take a step back from the Olympics to protect her physical and mental health.

Can you think of times when quitting or giving up is actually a better option than moving forward?

Would ya, should ya… have ya 🤔? Revisiting the old is both comfortable and chaotic! Yet, when the universe conspires to ...
12/08/2021

Would ya, should ya… have ya 🤔?
Revisiting the old is both comfortable and chaotic!
Yet, when the universe conspires to bring you together again - whether lover or job - you just can’t help but wonder if it’s indeed fate or merely just a test of fate (to see if lessons were learnt the first time around!).

On one hand, you are older, wiser and more evolved. You’ve taken accountability for your role in past mistake. Possibly are even 10 sessions into therapy. You feel woke and ready. So the ubiquitous Bennifer 2.0 prompts you to throw caution to the wind.
Yet, once you take the double-edge plunge, all hail, you find yourself feeling all the feelings that you both loved and abhorred about what once was.

“As you make your foray back into the time machine, here’s a checklist that won’t be nearly enough,” says psychotherapist, Ashika Pohoomul Mehta () to SPARK’s Nichola Marie (), “but at least, will have you asking yourself some important questions before you make a major decision!

🙄 Has there been a re haul of attitude and circumstance since?
🚩 Are the red flags still glaring from what once was?
🤞🏻 You ready to face the issues that caused the end?
🧳 You ready to lift the baggage - forgive or accept a flaw? Conflict and contention needs resolving!
🙏🏻 You ready to apologise, take accountability, show up differently and commit to a new reality?

The only way to make any reunion work - whether personally or professionally - is to assess whether each individual has been open to introspection and each circumstance has undergone deep change!

09/08/2021

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