XelopMaus

12/01/2022

Parent and grandparent relationships play an important role in encouraging altruistic acts – new research
There are conflicting ideas about the role of the family in wider society. Some, particularly in the US, argue that family units are essential for a strong civil society, and make a big contribution to public life. Others – mostly in Europe – say that families act in self-interested ways.

We already know that families pass down certain traits and resources to benefit younger generations. They share skills and talents, or leave money to children and grandchildren in wills. However, our research team believes that young people’s relationships with their parents and grandparents can actually help explain their participation in activities that help other people and the environment.

For our newly published study, we asked 976 teenagers aged 13-14 in Wales about their activities to help others, and their family relationships too. More than a quarter of teenagers in the study said that they did at least one activity to help other people or the environment often. While nearly two thirds said they did at least one activity either often or sometimes. Of these, the most popular activity was providing support for people who are not friends or relatives – for example helping out at a local foodbank – followed by giving time to a charity or cause.

Volunteering. michaeljung/Shutterstock
The teenagers also expressed a range of different motivations for their involvement. The most popular response was to improve things or help people (43%), followed by personal enjoyment (28%). This suggests that they were inspired by a mixture of self-oriented and selfless goals, which is also reflected in the fact that a third of them said their involvement had been personally beneficial and had benefited others and the environment too.

Family influence
The young people we spoke to identified family as the most important route into participation, and told us that their parents played a strong role in encouraging them to get involved in voluntary activities. Family was more important than both school and friends for these teens. Over half of them said that their parents encouraged their involvement – higher than all other options including friends (29%) and teachers (24%).

We also found that the better the relationship that teenagers felt they had with their mothers, the more likely they were to take part in activities to help other people and the environment. Having a good relationship with a close grandparent also seemed to be important. From what we found, the benefits of having a positive relationship with both of these family members doubled the likelihood that these young people would engage in activities to help others and gave a dual benefit (compared to if they only had a positive relationship with one family member).

When asked to focus on the grandparent they saw most often, four out of five of the teenage group said it was a female grandparent (mother’s mother or father’s father). This finding gives strong support to arguments made by feminist scholars for better recognition of the role of women in civil society, and of the domestic or personal domain as a political space.

It is puzzling that the influence of fathers isn’t visible in our data, especially as our follow up interviews with parents suggest that both mothers and fathers encourage their children to participate in activities to help others. This is something that we will need to investigate further.

Overall, our study reveals that parents seem to play a key role in providing a route into civic participation and encouraging young people to get involved. This link between family ties and civic participation suggests that some of the values that get passed between parents and their children might aid their participation in activities to help others and the environment. In this sense, it indicates that there could be an intergenerational transmission of civic participation.

Our research findings also undermine the idea that strong families do not contribute to civil society, and suggests instead that strong bonds forged within the family can lead to linkages outside it. This undermines the separation of “public” and “private” that runs through European conceptualisations of civil society.

Our data shows that family is far more important in developing a propensity for engagement in civil society than is commonly understood, even more important than school, perhaps. More research is needed but these results call for a re-evaluation of the family home as a potential site of civil society engagement, and a wider recognition of the role of women in civil society too.

12/01/2022

When a baby is stillborn, grandparents are hit with ‘two lots of grief’. Here’s how we can help
Six babies are stillborn every day in Australia. This significant loss affects parents for years to come, often the rest of their lives. However, stillbirth also affects many others, including grandparents.

But until now, we have not heard the experiences of grandparents whose grandchildren are stillborn. Their grief was rarely acknowledged and there are few supports tailored to them.

Our recently published research is the first in the world to specifically look at grandmothers’ experience of stillbirth and the support they need.

Read more: Death and families – when 'normal' grief can last a lifetime

In Australia, a baby is defined as stillborn when it dies in the womb from 20 weeks’ gestation, or weighs more than 400 grams. Other countries have slightly different definitions.

About 2,200 babies are stillborn each year here meaning stillbirth may be more common than many people think. And people don’t tend to talk about this openly despite it leading to significant grief.

To explore grandparents’ experience of stillbirth, we interviewed 14 grandmothers for our initial study, and a further 23 grandmothers and grandfathers since then.

Many grandparents were not aware stillbirth was a risk today. Most felt unprepared. Like parents, grandparents experienced grief like no other after their grandchild was stillborn.

Rose said:

The grief is always there, it never leaves you […] I don’t know why but sometimes it is still very raw.

Sally said:

I [would do] anything in my power to take it away, even if it meant, you know, something dreadful happening to me, I would have done it.

Grandparents also spoke of anticipating the arrival of their grandchild, and disbelief at their loss.

Donna said:

It was as bad as it could be and […] I thought it just couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be real.

Where grandparents lived a long way from their child, the loss was even more profound. Distance prevented them from holding their grandchild after birth, attending memorials, or helping their own children.

Iris said:

I still miss her now […] When she was born and they had her in the hospital they would text me and say you know she’s got hair like her daddy […] and they would describe her and how beautiful she was, and that’s all they have, you know […] that’s all I have really.

Grandparents said they wanted to hide their grief to protect their child from pain. This often made them isolated. Their relationships with family members often changed.

Mary said:

It’s like two lots of grief […] but I don’t want it to sound like it’s as bad as my daughter’s loss. It’s different, it’s a different grief, because you’re grieving the loss of a grandchild, and you’re also grieving for your daughter and her loss and it’s like yeah you’ve been kicked in the guts twice instead of once.

What grandparents wanted
Grandparents stressed the importance and ongoing value of being involved in “memory making” and spending time with their stillborn grandchild where possible.

Creating mementos, such as taking photos and making footprints and hand prints, were all important ways of expressing their grief. These mementos kept the baby “alive” in the family. They were also a way to ensure their own child knew the baby was loved and remembered.

Read more: Five ways to help parents cope with the trauma of stillbirth

Our research also identified better ways to support grandparents. Grandparents said that if they knew more about stillbirth, they would be more confident in knowing how to help support their children. And if people were more aware of grandparents’ grief, and acknowledged their loss, this would make it easier for them to get support themselves, and reduce feelings of isolation.

Families can encourage grandparents to seek professional support if needed. from www.shutterstock.com
Our research also found families can recognise that grandparents grieve too, for both their child and grandchild. Grandparents can be encouraged to seek support from other family and friends. Families could also encourage grandparents to seek support from professionals if needed.

In hospitals, midwives can adopt some simple, time efficient strategies, with a big impact on grandparents. With parent consent, midwives could include grandparents in memory making activities.

By acknowledging the connection grandparents have to the baby, midwives can validate the grief that they experience. In recognising the supportive role of grandparents, midwives can also provide early guidance about how best to support their child.

Read more: The five stages of grief don't come in fixed steps – everyone feels differently

Hospitals can help by including grandparents in the education provided after stillbirth. This might include guidance about support for their child, or simply providing grandparents with written resources and guiding them to appropriate supports.

In time, development of peer support programs, where grandparents support others in similar situations, could help.

And, as a community, we can support grandparents the same way they support their own children. We can be there, listen and learn.

All grandparents’ names in this article are pseudonyms.

If this article raises issues for you or someone you know, contact Sands (stillbirth and newborn death support) on 1300 072 637. Sands also has written information specifically for grandparents of stillborn babies.

12/01/2022

Grandparent-grandchildren video calls are vital during COVID-19. Here are simple ways to improve them
COVID-19 has seen a huge increase in video calling as we try to socially distance but still stay in touch.

This is particularly the case for grandparents and their grandchildren, who have either chosen to stay away, given the vulnerability of older people to coronavirus, or been forced apart due to lockdowns and border closures.

Read more: Video chats can ease social isolation for older adults during coronavirus pandemic

As researchers in early childhood, psychology and linguistics, we are studying how video calls fit into the lives of grandparents and their grandchildren and how we can enhance this interaction.

Our research
In a project with Western Sydney University’s BabyLab, we are surveying grandparents and parents about their experience of using video chat with children under the age of five, to capture the changes brought by COVID-19.

So far, 130 grandparents and parents from around Australia have responded.

Of those surveyed, on average, grandparents video call two to three times a week with their grandchildren, for about five to ten minutes. They mostly used FaceTime and Facebook Messenger, as apps that are already available on their phones.

‘Being part of their lives’
About 40% of grandparents surveyed began using video calls with their grandchildren for the first time during COVID-19. For all those surveyed, it was a mostly positive experience.

Grandparents say the calls allow them to stay connected with their grandchildren - with respondents talking about “being a part of their lives” and “not missing seeing them grow”.

One grandmother, who started using video chat with her granddaughter during COVID-19, said

I can see her and see her react to our voices and smile, which makes me feel good.

Another experienced user, with grandchildren overseas, also said

Because it’s so frequent - almost daily - I know their environment, it feels‚ normal. There’s no shyness, we can start a book one day and continue each day. We walk around theirs and my apartment and garden and I just feel part of their lives.

But there are challenges. Not surprisingly, the greatest challenge was maintaining children’s attention during the calls.

For some, the interaction was “artificial and detached”. As one parent said

It was more of a novelty than a way to have a genuine connection with people.

Other parents described the experience as stressful, noting the call had to be at “right time”. As one parent noted of her one-year-old daughter, “she gets overstimulated and then will not go to bed”.

Some grandparents also expressed concern that it was an additional burden for parents and efforts were abandoned

I only did it once because it was too hard to fit into their already busy day.

What does this mean for ‘screen time’?
Many parents and grandparents we surveyed have questions about what increased video-calling means for “screen time”.

Is it harmful in any way for children? And for babies under 12 months - is there any benefit? Can it genuinely help such little ones remember their grandparents?

But video calls are not simply “screen time”. Rather, they offer an important opportunity for socialisation, as young children can still mimic the information typically available in face-to-face interactions.

Read more: Stop worrying about screen 'time'. It's your child’s screen experience that matters

The key appears to be the instant feedback that video offers. As recent research shows, one and two year-old children can develop a social connection and learn the names of objects from someone they see and talk with via a video call.

Babies as young as four and five months prefer looking at images of faces over other toys and objects. This continues into their second year of life.

So yes, you can engage a young child through FaceTime - and it can help their development.

But how can we optimise video calls with small children?

Tips for preparing for a video call
Place your device on a firm surface, using your cover or something similar as a tripod to free your hands for gesturing and showing objects.

Try to keep the light source in front of you, excessive sun glare behind you leads to poor quality video.

Minimise background noise (such as the washing machine or radio).

Make the call part of your routine, so children come to expect and get used to calls.

Turn off the radio and minimise other background noises when making video calls. www.shutterstock.com
Make calls at a time of day when you can all relax - when babies are fed, changed and alert and older children are fed and not too tired.

Before making the call, parents can share images, videos and messages describing new skills or activities since you last spoke, so grandparents have something to ask questions about and engage with.

Prepare the child before the call to help manage their expectations. For example, ask them to pick out their favourite toy or drawing so they can show and talk about it.

Start with shorter calls (around five minutes) and increase the length as you see fit.

Tips for keeping the call going
For parents, consider making the video call as you do routine activities, such as cooking, sharing meals or bath-time - this can bring grandparents into the day-to-day routine and reduce the stress of finding a time to call.

As a grandparent, try to maintain eye contact and talk about things that baby or child is paying attention to at that moment.

Use songs and games (“pat-a-cake” and “peekaboo” are good examples) to capture babies’ attention. Musical statues is a good game to play with older children.

Video calls are an important opportunity to learn social skills. www.shutterstock.com
Make funny faces and hand gestures, blow kisses.

Dance, take each other on a tour of your home or garden, or try exercise moves together.

Set aside some books to use for video calls. You can carry on reading longer books with older children each time you call.

Try out various filters or virtual backgrounds built into your apps to make it more interesting for kids and give you something else to talk about.

Save the Children has some further information about staying in touch with grandparents.

If you are a grandparent, you can register to participate in the BabyLab survey here. Parents can register here.

12/01/2022

12/01/2022