18/08/2024
Anyone ever wonder how a married couple stays best friends and lovers for life?
It's not perfect and hard times are ahead. As a matter of fact, dang near impossible. Even the Apostle Paul writes that it will be hard.
It takes two!! Both of you need to do it.
My perspective is:
[ ] It takes work. Hard work.
[ ] Making EACH OTHER your priority, second only to God. That's right, priority. Even ahead of the kids. Your kids need to know you have each others back.
[ ] Spending time everyday face to face, giving each other your undivided attention. We call it talk time with no distractions, even from the kids.
[ ] Read books together. i.e, the Bible, marriage books, etc.
[ ] Be real and authentic with each other and working on your communication. Sharing your joys and struggles.
[ ] Be aware and cautious of how you speak to each other. Respect
[ ] Continuing to date, escaping together regularly. Date nights and vacations, weekend away and week away.
[ ] Keep your s*x life private and exciting. Pursuing each other. Flirt with each other.
[ ] You don't have to have all the same hobbies, but finding 1 or 2 things you like to do together and doing it regularly.
[ ] Love each other the way they need to be loved. Read about the 5 love languages. It's like feeding each other love.
[ ] Be willing to change and continually getting better. Yes, it is OK for your spouse to expect you to change and you should want to get better.
[ ] Never be lazy in the relationship. Always, put effort in to your marriage, even when your tired and don't want to.
[ ] Never expect more from them than you're willing to give.
[ ] Never choose anyone else over the other. That includes your kids and friends. Avoid lust, p**n, flirting and intimate conversation with anyone other than your spouse. You should be each others greatest confidante. You should never process with or confide in anyone of the opposite s*x your personal stuff.
[ ] Be worthy of respect from the other. Your integrity is a great treasure.
[ ] Respect the other.
[ ] Consider every action and evaluate whether it was selfish or not.
[ ] Outdo each other in honoring each other. Philippians 2:3-4
[ ] Decide how bad you want it and what you're willing to do before you enter into marriage.
[ ] Be equally yoked together in your beliefs. Don't marry outside of your tribe expecting them to come to your way of thinking. This refers to your spiritual life.
[ ] Men, be the spiritual leader of your family. Lead your wife into the presence of God. Be an example of Jesus to them. Lead your family prayer life. Wives, walk with your husband into the presence of God.
[ ] Forgive! Whatever you do, don't hang onto bitterness and unforgivingness.
All of these principles can be found in scripture.
Now, you can stay married and not do any of these, but there will be little joy and excitement in your marriage. Basically, it won't be a very healthy marriage.
Does it seem impossible? It's sure tough. It's a lifelong journey. Make it fun. Make the most of it. Be an example to others of how hard you're willing to work at it. Pray a lot. Have accountability. Except momentary failure, but don't stay there. Grow!
What are your thoughts?
