Many of these children had what one can call ‘challenging behaviors.’ I was trained in classic behavior mod methods, and used to think that that was the best approach for these precious children. I was trained in getting kids to ‘comply’. Compliance was the gold standard. Over time, I developed niggling thoughts at the back of my mind. Sure, we can make these kids comply. But why does something fe
el off? Why do I feel like I’m not being true to myself? I didn’t pay attention to these thoughts for the longest time. I simply continued doing as I was trained to do. One day out of my career stands out to me as a catalyst in pursuing a change in my career focus. It was a day in which I was told to restrain a child. I did so. (Moment of silence here for all the children who have ever had to go through this). The restraint lasted over 30 minutes. Minutes later, I met with the supervisor for an interview for promotion at that company. I don’t even remember what we spoke about at the interview. But I do remember that a few days later, the supervisor informed that I did not receive the position, because apparently I did not appear ‘confident’ enough at the interview. Today, I thank my lucky stars that I did not appear confident at that interview. What is confidence? Confidence is knowing that you are free to be yourself, to act in accordance with your values, and to be accepted as you are. Of course I didn’t appear confident at that interview. My internal conflict regarding what I was being asked to do with the children in my care, the conflict that I had suppressed for months, was so big that my supervisor actually read it off me, as a lack of confidence. That day forward began my search for authentic education and childcare methods. And I can happily say that today, I feel fully confident. I feel confident, and free, to be true to my inner voice. To respect children as they are, to give THEM confidence, to allow THEM to be their true selves. This page is the culmination of the time I have spent researching how to better my practice. How to give parents and children the feeling of acceptance, and of CONFIDENCE. I want to share with you all the information I have found. It has changed not just my practice, but my whole outlook on life. I have discovered inside me, a highly sensitive and gentle self, that was scared to show its face. I thank my discovery of the online Autistic community, and their teachings on the Social Model of Disability, for this wonderful gift of acceptance of self. In our culture, being sensitive is viewed as being weak. Or annoying. But what if it’s not? What if it is just allowed to stand on it’s own, without labeling it as good or bad? This is what I mean. Self-acceptance. Confidence. Gentle parenting has gained a large following in the recent years. But I want to fill in a gap in the conversation that I have found. How do we learn about gentle parenting, while also being gentle on ourselves? How do we prevent parents from feeling judged by this new wave of how we’re ‘supposed’ to parent? In this space, we strive to accept parents as they are. Gentle parenting is not a list of techniques and rules to follow. Gentle parenting is about relationship. The relationship with the child, yes, but also the relationship with the SELF. Can our inner self have the freedom to come out into the light? Does our own inner child feel confident? Does it feel safe to be itself, and be met with acceptance and love? I hope the information I present here is valuable to you, and helps both you and your child find true self-acceptance and confidence.
