Come with me as I rebuild my life one day at a time. �
I’ve been slacking on posting here, I’m going to try and do better, promise.
There are a few new blog entries to check out.
Big things are in the works for The Rebuilding Widow, and I’m excited to share them with all of you! 🖤
Thanks for being here!
To love someone is to give someone a part of you that you’ll never get back, or something like that. But how do we recover from love? How do we recover from loss? The answer, in my opinion, is that…
After my husband passed away, walking back into my house just felt foreign. Everything felt foreign. There were memories everywhere. Grief is a constant uphill battle. 🖤
On big changes and memories from a lifetime ago. 🖤
I cried at work a few days ago. I don’t mean I teared up a little, I full on cried. Was this the first time? No. Besides losing my husband, my job is very high stress, and sometimes I get overwhelm…
Be happy. Live life. Don’t be mean to random strangers on the internet. It’s easy to not be mean. 🖤
I recently posted a couple of TikToks talking about Sam’s story. I thought maybe my friends would see them, nothing major. Well let me tell you, I went viral. Over 300,000 views on one, and over 15…
Doing some stuff on TikTok. I love sharing our story with everyone. 🖤
Sierra's short video with ♬ Unstoppable (I put my armor on, show you how strong I am)
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As 2022 comes to a close, I think we’re all reflecting. Some of us may be nostalgic for the past, some of us may be pushing ahead for the future we know we deserve. 2022 changed many of us, me espe…
Who Am I?
It’s come to my attention that some of my blog followers may know a little about my story, but may not actually know me. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Sierra. I’m 33. I live in eastern Kentucky-so close to Virginia that I could throw a rock and hit the state line if I had any type of athletic inclination at all. I’ve worked in the banking industry for 11 years, and I love it. I have no human children, by choice, but I have two Shih-Tzus named Scout and Squeak who are my entire world. Besides work, I don’t really do much. I’m an avid reader, but that’s about it. I love craft beer, wine, cars, make-up, shoes, and purses.
I lost my husband, Samuel when we were both 32. A person never dreams they’ll be widowed, especially not at such a young age, but here I am, living through it. I planned my husband’s memorial service, I wrote his eulogy, and I brought his ashes home by myself. When I became a widow, I knew that for me, the answer was to grieve in private.
I get by with a little help from my friends. My circle is small, so freaking small, but the love is enormous. We plan more parties than anyone I know-nacho parties, white lie parties, Halloween/Christmas/Fourth of July/three day weekend parties, we have FUN. My friends all thought so highly of Samuel, and we share memories of him often. Our go-to Samuel story is that one time he nearly blew a few of us up hosting a cook out, honestly, top notch humor.
I am a chronic oversharer. Is it a toxic trait? Maybe, but I like to think I’m just open and honest. My face allows me to tell no lies, it does not know how to be quiet. I crack dead husband jokes constantly, my sense of humor has always been warped, but it’s gotten a little out of control since February. I love to laugh, and I love making other people laugh.
I’ve been writing since I was little. I wrote chapter stories about a serial killer named Billy Blades when I was in second grade, I s**t you not, that’s a thing that happened. I love words, and used to sit down and read through the dictionary trying to learn new words for fun.
I decided while Samuel was in the hospital that I wanted to write a book about my experience, then I decided that was super unrealistic, then I realized that my husband getting Covid and dying was pretty unrealistic, so yeah, I’m also writing a book.
My life is messy, it’s chaotic, sometimes it’s downright comical, but I promise you, I’m one of the realest people you’ll ever meet.
Grief changed me, but I’m also still kind of the same. It’s funny how that works. Eleven months ago if you would have asked me where I saw myself now, I would’ve probably said dead, or just curled up in a ball somewhere, but here I am. Living. I take trips. I go to Dollywood, water parks, the beach, I go to the gym, I’m slowly but surely dipping my toes into the dating pool. I’m surprising myself daily with the things I’m doing and the way I carry myself.
Thank you for following my journey.
Xoxo💜
Dreams of a life once lived. Dreams of a future that was ripped away. Dreams that bring tears. Dreams that bring peace.
“It doesn’t hurt me to see him in dreams anymore, it’s just like a nice little surprise, a piece of my life before”
Since my husband passed away, a lot of people have asked if I’ve had any “signs he’s with me,” or any of that. I think they mean something like seeing a cute cardinal on my mailbox, or feeling a wa…
“Try as we might, we can’t plan every moment.”
A heavy one. I’ve slacked off on sharing new blog entries here, so there are a few.
Thanks for being here.
Xoxo💜
If I would’ve known December 17, 2021 would be the last night I would spend in the same house as my husband, everything would’ve gone differently. It was a Friday night, I came home around 6:30, th…
“Great sadness gives a new appreciation for even mediocre happiness.” 🤍
Thank you all for being here.
“You look so happy… makes me happy.” A simple Snapchat I received from my cousin in response to a story I posted of myself and a couple of friends at a night before Thanksgiving wine and appetizer …
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Little change of pace this week. Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 🖤
Thanksgiving… a time to be, well, thankful. In general, I’d call myself a thankful person, but after this year, I’m pretty unsure. Thanksgiving was the last holiday I was able to spend with my husb…
Dark humor heals the dark soul 🖤🖤
Let me preface this with saying, my sense of humor has always been absolutely warped. I mean, DARK. A person never expects to be making funeral arrangements for their husband at 32, but there I was…
“My life is kind of like my uncovered switches and outlets. Full of well laid plans that were pushed aside and halted.” 💜
*written on 10/30/2022 It’s been right at 9 months since my husband passed away, and we’re coming upon 11 months since I spent my last night in our house with him. I often say it feels like an eter…
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Thank you all for being here!
If you asked me what it felt like losing my husband at 32, I’d probably crack some god awful joke that would leave your jaw on the floor. See, I cope with dark humor. I know, for shame for shame. I…
A new one for your Thursday. 💜
Thank you all for being here!
Guilt. Have you ever felt guilty about literally everything? I do. I present to you a list of everything I feel guilty about: Breathing, because Samuel couldn’t, and can’t Eating, because Samuel lo…
New blog post on this Sunday morning.
Sometimes rebuilding is hard, really hard. Sometimes we’re not given a choice and we’re forced to rebuild. Some of us are strong because that’s the only option we’ve been given. ❤️
Yep. The last thing I was truly hanging onto. Everything in it was exactly how you’d left it. Sunglasses in the cup holder. Two receipts in the passengers seat. A pair of nail clippers in the cente…
Clearing out my backlog of things I’ve already written, so here’s a quick read for your Monday. 💜
In the last 8 months I’ve lost count of the number of people who have said to me, “Well, I didn’t lose my husband, but I lost my mom/dad/brother/grandma/grandpa/whatever.” Whoa whoa whoa. Hold. Up.…
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New new new this Thursday! Thank you all for being here.
What types of blog posts would everyone like to see? Let me know in the comments if you have anything in mind. 💜
Life is hard. It’s hard for everyone, but I’ve been given a new type of hard. I’m not one to play the victim, I’m a victim of nothing more than circumstance, but everything is so much harder now th…
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New blog post is up! 💜
Oftentimes, death comes with no warning. In my case, the illness came with no warning, the death was expected. It’s human nature to hope. We hope things will improve. We hope today is the day thing…
Wanted to create somewhere specifically dedicated to the blog-and the other things I have planned! Come follow along as I take on the world of social media. 💜
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