Clara Batten

19/07/2023

Night night.

25/05/2023

The reviews of my book are in from the first few weeks! I could only put 10 on the grid (SWIPE ➡️). I didn't include the one 1* review as they didn't leave one. 🤔

For fear of sounding like an Oscar speech (one day..)I want to thank everyone who has bought, read, and laughed (..at me), and those who took the time to review it. I really, really appreciate it.

I'm so f*cking chuffed I struggled, laughed, and cried, writing this for 2 years because your feedback is EXACTLY what I wanted to achieve.

The link is in my bio to order 'Gin and Phonics' in Hardback, on Kindle and on Audiobook (narrated by yours truly).

Thank you and lots of love, as always, Clara xx

09/05/2023

I would absolutely bloody love to see you this Saturday in London for my 1st ever book signing! It's been 2 years since I started this and I so appreciate all your support and feedback so far! I want to say thanks in person, have a chat and sign your book (or 2.) That is all. Hope to see you at Waterstones Kensington at about midday! Lots of love, Clara xx

13/04/2023

So much fun doing this. Love these 2 and thank you so much for having me!! Xx

05/04/2023

I wasn't expecting the 'proof listener' of my audiobook to get in touch, so how awesomely unexpected to receive this amazing feedback from a totally new reader/listener who hasn't bored herself sh*tless with a 9th read as some of us have.. well OK, mainly me.

For this reason (of having read it many times), and because I wanted people to hear it as the way they know me to deliver sketches or talks to camera on here, I was over analysing my delivery. So to know she thought the content 'funny', 'uplifting' & 'real' and was 'gripped' as well as loving the way I read it means the absolute world. Particularly being one of the 1st to read/listen who isn't from Harper Collins.

Oh, and as for 'more books', Jade. Chill out. Not a chance any time soon..😜
Think I'll enjoy this one for now. 🥳

As ever.... LINK IS IN THE BLOODY BIO to pre-order 'Gin and Phonics' in harback, audiobook and Kindle. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Book signing news coming soon but put Saturday 13th May in your diaries!

31/03/2023

So bloody excited to be attached to this 6 part TV thriller currently in development. ☺️ I've been offered the role of Sandra (description below). So basically type cast.. apart from the gym part. And the overseeing her vast house part. And being rather disdainful of her boring banker husband part. Other than these traits, identical. Absolutely loved the script and the part and I'm a tad obsessed with psychological thrillers, so I'm obviously not at all over the moon with this one.

Timings TBC, but do follow Secret Act-TV Series for future updates and all things 'Secret Act'. Stay tuned.

Thanks all, as ever. Clara xx

29/03/2023

I feel so so sad waking up to the news that this selfless, sweet, funny man has passed away. Heartbroken over someone I've never met. Dogs are the best judge of characters and they all absolutely loved him. Rest in peace dear man.

Paul O'Grady:
14th June 1955 - 28th March 2023

19/03/2023

Happy Mother's Day mummy. You're the best there is. You have always been there and supported us all unconditionally. You've been behind me, and believed in me no matter what, and allowed me to pursue 'my dreams', however unpredictable, and I've always known I would never have a 'I told you so' if it didn't work out. And for that and the constant love and support of your grandchildren, I thank you. We love you so much. ### Louise Davies

11/03/2023

28/02/2023

THIS WENT TO PRINT A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO!!! Here is the full book 'Jacket' with some quotes from the book on it & some reviews.

Swipe to see back cover and inside & back sleeves (I call them this because, as much as I love the word 'flaps', as they're known, sometimes I like to mix things up a bit (and also keep my food down.)

Thank you once again for your incredible ongoing support.

NEXT STOP : The studio to record the audio book. I just know this will be my favourite part.

As ever: link is in the sodding bio to order 'Gin and Phonics'.

30/01/2023

Swipe to read more. Just thought I'd share with you a DM from tonight which made my day and allowed me to try to 'sell' my book to someone who had already bought it. So then I thought why not put it on here for some of you who arent yet bored of this promoting and don't yet know I have written one and is available to purchase from the link in my bio (by the way).

Thanks once again for all your support. I am so excited and very nervous about the upcoming release of the book so all your continued support so greatly appreciated.

News on book launch and where to get your copy signed (all 2 of you) will be released soon.

Lots of love. Clara xx

07/01/2023

When I got approached by Harper Collins to see if I had ever considered writing, I said "Well yes. I'm currently writing a sitcom with a friend and have just finished the pilot. I'm very keen to get it off the ground and we have some interest." He said "sorry, no, not like that. Like..a book." My reply was "Oh God No, I've never had any interest in writing a book."

Somehow, I got off the phone with 3,000 words to write in 2 weeks, to see if I enjoyed it and to see if they liked what I was writing.

* No commitment from either side!

Other than my 3,000 bloody words I was writing on my phone, sometimes standing in between a kids argument, and very very rarely with a G&T in hand I can assure you... 👀

Somewhere along the line, there was an offer and a contract and I agreed to 70,000 words with a 2 and 4 year old in tow. And 'Gin and Phonics' was born.

It started as a diary of the whole of 2021 and then evolved from there. I want to state, it is not a 'mum book'. It's lots of anecdotes from past and present..Trying to make it as an actress, parenthood, London life in my 20's, falling for my gay best friend, crazy times in private members clubs I probably wasn't meant to be in, getting in wrong cars at school drop off.... there's a lot. My main objective when I signed, was, this has to make people laugh out loud at times, and at least make them smile a lot of the time. And I so hope it does.

These 2 screen shots are of 2 feedback emails from my editor and copy editor... because NO ONE else has read it, not even Adam.

The link to order is here if you fancy it:

https://amzn.to/3h9ZIZ9

I'm not a 'big account' so could do with all the help and support I can get. It's been 2 years in the making (I think I have topped the charts on the longest anyone has taken to write and edit a book) my publishers joked 'you took your time'.

Bottom line : I just want to make you laugh! We could all do with it. Not just now. Always.

Thank you, as ever. Clara x

HarperCollins Publishers UK

01/01/2023

Is it even New Years Day, if you're not having a Bloody Mary at lunchtime?

Love this pub :

14/12/2022

Had to re-upload as it cut off after a minute. This is the full version..

Cressy was very confused seeing as I always say "the most important thing is that you never lie."

She said "some of those weren't true."
I said "I know. All of them weren't true. It was all a joke and you passed the honesty test."

30/11/2022

With the lead up to Christmas I do love to give a shout out to small businesses and this one deserved a spot on the grid. My lovely mummy bought me this hat at my kids school Christmas fayre tonight from She also bought one for herself. I love hats and have plenty but I can honestly say I was like a kid in a candy shop trying on all her unique handmade creations. Eccentric and beautiful, colours to die for, every single one is unique and she does not make twice. Stop me if I'm turning you on with this hat chat. Give her a follow and also some business if you like what you see.

21/10/2022

Come on.. It's not THAT hard a job.

17/10/2022

Morning. 😁

16/10/2022

Bloody love a revolving door.

12/10/2022

Emotional now. A project, over a year in the making, coming to an end at 11pm on a Wednesday night. It's been a tough old slog but so very exciting, and I can't wait to announce it on the 19th October to all of you amazing people. Not a coincidence, that day is 'National Gin & Tonic Day.'

Thanks you ledges for all the support and for your patience during the slow content stages whilst I took on this most mammoth task. If you like a bit of sarcasm, plenty of self-deprecation and some laughing here and there, you might like this.

Lots of love. Clara ###

30/09/2022

Happy Birthday to this absolute legend , who believed in me, gave me that audition, then gave me that part, which got me my agent & back into my lifelong passion. Thanks so much Chris, you bellend (your words not mine). You make me laugh till I cry and I'm so happy to now call you a lifelong friend, whether you like it or not. T**t.

14/09/2022

New Headshots by the absolutely brilliant and what a laugh we had doing them. Which one is your favourite? 1-10. Not JUST doing comedy btw.
I'll bloody use all of them at some stage. X

09/09/2022

One of many new headshots to come..

08/09/2022

She forever conducted herself with class and dignity and her whole life was dedicated to serving us. She was stoic and so very decent. Someone many could learn from. Thank you for all you did ma'am. What a woman you were and how sorely the British public will miss you. I can't imagine this country without you. An ever-present figure for generations. Rest in peace your Majesty.

08/09/2022

Obligatory back to school photos this morning after 9 weeks of utter bliss with my darling cherubs. 👀

27/07/2022

I can't pretend I don't actually do this..

18/07/2022

audio couldn't go untouched for this one.. x

10/07/2022

1st day of holiday, back on the balcony, shower done and sundowner drinks. Work shmerk. Xx

01/07/2022

Dorset bound for the 40th Birthday celebration weekend of after a stupidly busy work week. One more week of hard graft (until the next bit) and then some announcements soon. That's my excuse for the lack of content anyway. Be back at it soon. Thanks for all your messages and DM's. Your support is, as always *chefs kiss 💋

29/06/2022

I'll just be here not able to say a simple name before my actual auditions..

28/06/2022

Dame Deborah James () Rest In Peace you beautiful soul. This has weirdly hit me hard. You knew my best friend at university, we followed eachothers antics on here, and most importantly you really changed my outlook on life to the point where most recently, I have grabbed everything that has come my way with both hands. The small things. I've stopped working for days to do the little things with my kids. I've been more spontaneous than my normal spontaneous self. I've said yes to stuff I wouldn't normally have said yes to. And, sincerely, for that I thank you. All because of your incredible outlook on life and the real stuff that matters.. memories. To the extent you put your own want and need to rest aside, to create memories with your beautiful family, all whilst nearing 'the end'. You fought tirelessly to campaign for awareness and raise money and make memories whilst you were feeling like you wanted to just get into bed. But you just kept going and it is testament to your sweetness and selflessness. We are all so very proud of you. We have lost a gem. Sleep tight you wonderful lady. 💔 ###x

19/06/2022

Happy Fathers Day to the best there is (thank you, thank you ) and to my daddy in the sky (we miss you every day) and to my 2 big bros (so proud of the daddy's you are). Swipe 👈

11/06/2022

PLEASE SUPPORT me on my 100k for the and my friend . Link in my bio. Clouds look ominous but let's do this!

27/05/2022

27/05/2022

26/05/2022

I only post the ones that really tickled me. And this really did. 🤦‍♀️

18/05/2022

This wonderful human has been and still is an absolute inspiration. Following her journey these last few years has been enlightening, sometimes saddening and extremely heartening. Her strength, positivity and determination is something all of us could learn something from. And these last couple of weeks, particularly since being in end of life care has been particularly incredible to witness. She's raised over £6m for her to help Cancer research, been made Dame Debs with a visit from Prince William and has now hit the Number 1 Bestseller in all books on Amazon with her book How To Live Life When You Could Be Dead, with all proceeds going to charity. You should be extremely proud of yourself as your kids and husband will of course be. Absolute legend. Thank you for helping so many. ❤️💙 ###

10/05/2022

Alright... JEEZ. I know I'm rubbish at making carrot cake but not sure it quite deserves THAT.

* when your daughter is lacking the bowl and serupticiously swears at you.

03/05/2022

This had me crying laughing so here it is.

13/04/2022

That's all.
Via Twitter.