The boys understand the plight of gays totally, but also note that we are very straight. #comedy #podcast #satire
I’m doing my part with straight and bi women so don’t worry about me #podcast #comedy
Women should get paid more, and that money should technically go to us because we are a podcast for women.#comedy #podcast
We stand with gays (but we aren’t going to stand behind or in front of them you know)
They might be “The View” but the boys are “The Voice” 😏🤫
Our message is too strong to be blocked, they try to silence us because we speak for women #comedy #podcast #satire
Everything in the podcast room on the wall is covering a hole we punched in the wall because we are furious that women are oppressed. #comedy #podcast #satire
In order to be the voice we have to do the voice ✊🏿 #comedy #podcast #satire
Too Woke Boys 102: Fighting The Other "Nice Guys" Out There To Assert Our Nice Dominance
The boys talk discuss many topics including the only Novak taking a L this month (not Djokovic). This Novak is a guy on YouTube/TikTok who makes woke raps about not objectifying women, school shootings (5 days after they happen, you have to catch the algorithm), and how he should be a SNL cast member. Col also shares a story of kind of knowing this guy before his fame.
The boys also talk about the extreme rebranding of Radio Shack with the tweets they've had recently.
The boys talk about how Family Feud has become a race war, and again make the point that the boys would announce banging Steve Harvey's daughter on the show.
Lindsay Lohan confirmed she married Bader Shammas in Dubai. The boys figure out what is going on over there, and suggest a new parent trap movie where the boys swap with Lindsay's husband.
The boys discuss the article where Anderson Cooper celebrates Richard Gere for helping him realize he is gay. Definitely not a grooming situation at all.
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
@MalcolmKelner
Too Woke Boys 101: How Dare You Celebrate America
The boys get together to discuss how they celebrated everything but America over the July 4th holiday.
There are rumors that there could be checkpoints at state borders to prevent abortions across state lines.
The boys continue to discuss the Roe V Wade verdict.
California is dropping more news about how we are still in a global pandemic.
Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years in prison and R Kelly was sentenced to 30 years. The boys discuss the sentencing.
Amber Heard wants a retrial because she didn't like how the last one worked out because she is an actress and that is how hot actresses think when things don't go their way. Also the ACLU is ordering Johnny Depp to pay $38,000 for providing evidence during the case.
Britney Spears ex that crashed the wedding a few weeks ago, is ordered to trial.
Travis Barker Speaks out following his recent hospitalization.
Fort Wayne, Indiana, July 7-9th come see Jeff Zenisek open for JP Sears.
Austin, Texas, July 14-17 Jeff has several shows one of which will feature Christopher Columbus from the Too Woke Boys (10pm at Sunset Strip ATX Comedy Club on the 16th)
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
Email the show: [email protected]
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@JeffZenisek @MalcolmKelner @TooWokeBoys
Too Woke Boys 100: Overturning Roe V Wade, (and hittin' it from the back)
The boys get together for a somber episode 100 because the ruling of Roe V Wade being overturned.
Nothing will change in LA but that doesn't mean the boys aren't flipping out about it.
Its because they care about people in dumb, hillbilly, loser flyover states.
Some men are facing backlash for using the abortion issue as a prompt in their dating profiles to gain the trust of women, its definitely not exactly what the Too Woke Boys are doing with the existence of this podcast.
Chris guesses what an activist looks like that complained online about how this abortion thing is more of a "people with uteruses" issue and not a "women issue"
Jussie Smollett wasn't aware of the online backlash until 1 year later. The Gaby Petito/ Brian Laundrie case has a new development, Laundrie's journal has a confession in it.
A bullfighting arena collapsed
An only fans mom in a small town is facing some backlash for being on the platform.
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
@MalcolmKelner
Too Woke Boys 99: Survey Says The Boys Should Hook Up with Steve Harvey's Daughter
The boys get together to discuss their upcoming 100th episode and how they hope to spark political change by making it illegal to do a podcast unless you are the Too Woke Boys.
The boys extend a thanks to Brett Cooper and the fans of hers that have found our podcast through her channel for sharing a video of the boys taking it to the streets (YouTube: Too Woke Boys)
The boys talk about Lizzo being in the news with her new boyfriend, how she is a great ambassador for the body positive movement and how the movement will set her on fire if she decides to lose weight. She also took some heat for using the word spazz in a song lyric.
Chris talks about his unorthodox sports coaching methods which include basketball and hockey lessons.
There are some fun sports stories even thought the boys don't like sports.
Chris and Col discuss Cleveland Browns quarterback and how he is being accused of sexual misconduct from 66 massage therapists.
Steve Harvey's daughter Lori Harvey, has broke up with her boyfriend. The boys come up with how to break it to her father that she is in a thruple with the boys. It definitely involves being on Family Feud.
A few listener emails: Someone sent the rainbow colored bullets pride ad from the military
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Email the show:
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
beacons.ai/jeffzenisek
@MalcolmKelner
Too Woke Boys 98: Crashing Britney Spears Wedding to Propose Conservatorship (For The Rest of Her Life💍)
The boys get together to discuss the differences between demisexual, pansexual, and fraysexuality. Chris and Col explain how they will use becoming gay as a way to cut ties with straight women.
A U-haul truck was pulled over in Idaho that had 30 dudes in the back of it that wanted to commit hate crimes but they all ended up on their knees in handcuffs, which is probably what would have happened if they were gay.
Chris explains how he adds women to the LGBTQ community by dating women and then converting them to lesbian.
The boys shout out Brett Cooper who shared a video of the boys having a dialogue with a girl about abortion. The boys are open to meeting and having a dialogue with her too 😏
Col explains how he won a class action lawsuit with bumble. The boys pledge that that money will go right back to women.
Jason Alexander, Britney Spears's ex husband crashed Britney's wedding and made a scene, the boys elaborate how they would take care of Britney in this difficult time. Also why do weddings allow people to ruin them?
A woman had sex in the back of a car and got an std, and got paid out by Geico because she sued the insurance company.
The boys also talk about Justin Bieber and how we will volunteer to take his fans and shows he will cancel because of his unfortunate condition.
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
https://beacons.ai/jeffzenisek
@MalcolmKelner
Too Woke Boys 97: Depp Won If You Haven't Heard
The boys get together to discuss the month long celebration of pride month how they are simultaneously excited and also not gay.
The Johnny Depp/ Amber Heard verdict is in and it not only is dangerous for the #metoo movement and hurts the credibility of the "believe all women" movement, so that it is no longer possible for a woman to make up stories about a man and ruin his life and career without having to actually prove the allegations are true. There are also really smart articles about how people not believing Amber Heard, a toxic, mentally ill, white actress, will somehow affect women of color.
Chris talks about sex addiction.
Another pride month story from a listener about how bigoted players for the Tampa Bay Rays baseball team refused to wear gay hats in a baseball game.
Shakira is newly single and the boys discuss how to approach her in her very vulnerable time
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
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@MalcolmKelner
Too Woke Boys 96: Welcoming Monkeypox Into The LGBTQ Community
The boys get together to discuss the wardrobe situation for the show, which includes Chris's Yas Queen shirt and his sunglasses he decided to wear for this episode.
The boys tell you how to celebrate Memorial Day, the shooting in Uvalde, TX.
Nancy Pelosi's husband gets a DUI Sha'Carri Richardson's former partner comes forward to admit allegations of abuse
The boys talk about an interracial dating debate that was sparked by Labron James's son's prom picture shared on social media of him with a white girl
Slate has an article about how it is homophobic to point out that the monkeypox disease that is only really affecting the gay community
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek https://beacons.ai/jeffzenisek
Malcolm Kelner
Too Woke Boys 95: Settling For a Supermodel Who Is Body Positive
The boys get together to discuss Col being in a co-ed softball league and the many reasons why Chris is banned from co-ed softball.
Jordan Peterson goes off on swimsuit cover model for not being hot enough. And then he quits twitter like right after. Also Elon Musk's mom is a 74 year old model (you better say she is hot).
AOC gets engaged to a ginger nerd.
Pete Davidson announces his exit from SNL along with 3 other cast members, leaving openings for the Too Woke Boys to swoop in as new cast members! Its world goth day and the boys try to figure out how to celebrate goth women.
Rihanna gives birth, Kourtney Kardashian gets married to Travis Barker.
And more on Dave Chappelle's attacker.
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek - https://beacons.ai/jeffzenisek
@MalcolmKelner
Too Woke Boys 94: Solving the Baby Formula Shortage By Reaching Out To Women With Large Breasts
The boys get together to discuss how making guns illegal will solve the problem of people being murdered by guns (which is already illegal). The boys discuss climate change and how heroism starts with a bag that you brought from home. Summer is coming and climate change is happening. Its not just the hotter season because that is what summer time is all about. Its because people are the problem and we are the virus.
Chris gets deep into his reading history, and gives an alternative to One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by looking at it through the lens of race.
Chris and Col talk about the attempted sabotage from people trying to take them down, it certainly was not the boys not understanding the equipment they bought to put on this podcast.
The boys discuss CNN posting a beauty/anti bullying activist who bravely sports a unibrow which is a completely avoidable thing if you just shave or shape your eyebrows. The boys celebrate women who have made being unkempt a cause you can shout about from your soapbox. This somehow got the boys to talk about Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street because one of them had a unibrow.
Mattel is making a hearing impaired Barbie, a prosthetic leg Barbie, and a vitiligo Ken doll to improve the representation in the brand.
Chris solves the baby formula crisis by inviting women with huge tits over to the studio.
There is an advice article on Slate about a guy who has trouble enjoying a beej
The boys discuss the article about Mia Khalifa attempting to rebrand from doing porn.
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(fun ones will be read on the sh
Too Woke Boys 93: Don't Worry, We Called Your Mom On Mother's Day
The boys get together to discuss the Supreme Court leak about the abortion issue. You probably already know where the boys stand on this issue. And if you are a woman with a strong opinion, the boys will definitely listen to your point of view, and then say how crazy it is that we have the exact same opinion as you.
Mothers day just past and the boys lay down many offers and support for mothers, but definitely not child support. Its Mothers Day, not Mothers and their children's day.
Dave Chappelle was attacked by an audience member, but not before Dave committed the aggressive act of trying to do comedy at a live show where the people present at the show are people who bought tickets and have entered an agreement to consent to the attempt at comedy by the artist. The boys elaborate on the hero that tried to defend himself against Dave's comedy.
The Met Gala happened and Kim K had to lose weight to fit into Marilyn Monroe's dress. And the boys say how bad that is for the body positive movement.
Chris describes how he releases a woman's spine with his great sensual chiropractic maneuvers.
Updates on the Amber Heard/ Johnny Depp trial. The boys try to figure out which roles they will take of Johnny Depp's since all his roles should now go to the Too Woke Boys.
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
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YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
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@MalcolmKelner
With Roe v Wade under attack, the boys will stand firm with women’s right to choose, and not just because we are fans of casual hookups #comedy #satire #comedyvideos #abortion #women
Too Woke Boys 92: Mental Health Is Important So Let Me/Us/We Have a Dialogue with You/Your/You're/Y'all
The Boys get together to discuss mental health, which is very important. Demi Lovato doing a "soft open" to her new pronouns by quietly adding she/hers pronouns to her bios in addition to They/Their. Col explains the difference between sex and gender.
Jada Pinkett Smith self diagnoses herself with anxiety and admits her marriage is on the rocks, which is a huge surprise to the boys.
Col explains the "green line test" to Chris and how it determines the power player in photos of people in relationships.
The boys talk about Elon Musk acquiring Twitter and how problematic that will be for society.
Pete Davidson gets tattoos of Kanyes kids on his body.
Chris's adventure to North Dakota getting stuck in the wrong airport after sleeping on a plane.
Col has a story about going to The Abbey (a gay bar) and the boys have some strategies on how to pick up women at a gay bar.
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New vids coming to the tiktok page!
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(fun ones will be read on the show)
Share a screenshot of the show on your IG stories and let everyone know
YOU ARE AN ALLY
@JeffZenisek
https://beacons.ai/jeffzenisek
@MalcolmKelner
