26/12/2023
Hello. My name is Rick. And I believe in Santa Claus.
You see, kids, there are people who are going to tell you that Santa is not real.
They will say he’s just a story your parents or corporate America made up to earn your love or sell Christmas toys.
Maybe bullies at school will tease you, call you a baby, for believing in Santa Claus.
Others will try to use reasoning to dissuade you from your beliefs.
They will say, “So you believe that one person, all by himself, whose weight makes me suspicious he is diabetic, driving a reindeer sleigh, can deliver, overnight, specific gifts to every child around the world, a gift by the way that each specific child asked for, while going totally unnoticed by international security satellite systems AND the news media? Really?”
I concede that’s quite a feat, but, hey, it’s Santa Claus, am I right, kids?
I have had my share of disbelievers over the years who use ant-Santa rhetoric to trip me up when I casually remark that, of course, Santa Claus is real. Not trying to start an argument, mind you, just expressing my belief.
“Uh, so, if Santa is real, why are there so many Santas at shopping malls, private parties, on the street corner ringing bells, comin’ to town riding a fire truck, all at the same time?”
“How can somebody that big fit down any chimney, anywhere?!”
“What happens when I pull down that ridiculously fake beard, or punch him in the belly that looks suspiciously like a pillow?”
Of course, I could answer those questions right here, rebut them, sure, if I had time and space, but I don’t. I am on a deadline.
Instead, let me offer a counter argument for all of the naysayers and non-believers.
For Santa Claus to be made up, a feel-good figment of our collective imagination, there would have to be a global conspiracy between world leaders, nations, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and other relatives, generations over centuries, the media, entire industries, to pull off a hoax of that magnitude.
Warring nations would at least have to agree on perpetuating the Santa hoax. Parents would all have to accept the basic facts about the Santa Conspiracy, i.e., his mode of gift delivery, his appearance and demeanor, his love for cookies and milk – and stick to the message.
Think of all the moving parts, all the agreements between generational, societal and cultural traditions, all the people with different values and opinions, who would need to mesh year after year after year to keep the conspiracy alive.
If that does not convince you that there is NO WAY our society could pull off such a delusional hoax, let me introduce you to Occam’s Razor, a decision-making methodology.
Named after the 14th century logician and theologian William of Ockham, Occam’s Razor, simply put, states that “the simplest argument is always the best.” This philosophy has helped people to make good decisions for 800 years since its creation.
Who am I to quibble?
For your Santa-isn’t-real world to be true, all of the anti-Santa talking points I mentioned above would have to come together every Christmas.
For me and William of Ockham, our answer is much simpler: Santa is real.
Merry Christmas.
