10/03/2021
In my opinion most Parents no longer educate their children on s*x talk because they are ashamed of the mistakes they made...others shy away from the akwardness...Some are afraid they might teach their children the wrong thing because they might not have answer to the question the children might ask or far to go base on the child age in plain terms they feel they are polluting their child mind or exposing them to harsh reality of s*x....some parents teach their children by summing it up with the word Abstinence..then Social media comes and shape their mind with a different view and don't forget peer pressure
Now let's take a seat back and remind ourselves what s*x education is....is not just knowing the anatomy or abstinence from s*x ...it's about character based on human s*xuality
How do I teach my children about s*x so that they will stay pure until they are married?
Five steps for developing and implementing a s*x education plan.
Talking about s*x may be the single most powerful way you can enter into the lives of your children. Why? Because s*x education means more than teaching them the facts of human reproduction.
95 percent of s*x education concerns character issues.teenagers need to know God’s purposes for s*x, the importance of s*x and marriage, and why you should wait for marriage before you have s*x. how to avoid situations in which you are tempted, how different types of media shape our thoughts in this area, the types of movies to see and avoid, how to respond when someone challenges your convictions.2 factors surrounding human s*xuality are self-control and obedience to God, and these foundational character qualities should be build into teenager by parents.
Step One: Evaluate your frame of reference
For this topic, it’s critical that you think through your own experiences to determine what has influenced you up to this point. How did you learn about s*x? How have you been influenced by your parents, by your peers, and by the culture? What mistakes have you made over the years in this area? How much do you know about what the Bible says on this subject? What were the most important events that shaped who they were as young people growing up to become a man or a woman?
It’s also important to examine what fears you may have about interacting with your children about s*x. I am convinced that fear is one of the primary emotions we feel when it comes to discussing the area of s*x with our kids. We do not feel like experts as parents. We’re afraid of not knowing the answer to a question, or of giving an answer that is not appropriate for a child’s age level. We’re afraid of those awkward moments.
But that’s okay. You don’t need to be a professional. You just need to be a parent. God will give you the power and the courage to tell your children about His perspective of this sacred area of life. It is a great privilege.
Many parents today also fear that their own s*xual sins in the past may disqualify them from speaking to their children with authority. This is a fear of every parent who has failed in an area and is attempting to lead the child to do what is right.
Past failures must not prevent us from calling our child to the standard of God’s Word. We have all lied, yet we still teach our children to tell the truth. We have all stolen something, but that doesn’t stop us from teaching that stealing is wrong. The same should be true for those who have been s*xually active outside of marriage in the past. In fact, you should feel a greater urgency to stand up for the truth because you know the consequences of not waiting until marriage.
The only thing that, can disqualify your conciense from being able to talk to a child about s*x is if you are currently involved in s*xual sin—a present s*xual addiction or an adulterous affair. If this is part of your life today and you have not repented of it, your sin is just not going to impact you. Your sin will have an impact on your sons, your grandsons, and your granddaughters. It is going to affect your daughters as they grow into adolescence and on into adulthood and become married. That is why it is very important as we talk about s*x education right at the outset that you as a parent as much as possible have your conscience forgiven and cleansed by Jesus Christ.
Step Two: Clarify your convictions
In the next step, we will list some basic scriptural truths to teach your children about s*x. Right now I wouldd like to challenge you to clarify your convictions in one significant area—God’s standards of purity and innocence.
If you were asked, “What are you teaching your child about s*x and morality?” my guess is that you might say something like, “We are teaching him that he should wait until he is married to begin having s*x.”
In the process of raising teens, however, i have a strong conviction that virginity is not a high enough goal. Nor is it the ultimate biblical goal. Unfortunately, studies have found that even our Christian teenagers are engaging in s*xual activities reserved for marriage, yet are maintaining a technical virginity.
The Bible presents a number of pointed principles to ensure that our relationships with the opposite s*x are appropriate and rewarding. The key words underlying all of them are purity and holiness. Here are two basic passages:
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from s*xual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God… For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity but in sanctification” (1 Thessalonians. 4:3-5, 7).
“Now flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22).
Abstinence is a part of the answer. It’s just not the total answer.
Step Three: Teach what God says about s*x
The best way to combat the world is by teaching the truth of the Scripture. Here are some major points you will want to share with your child:
God created s*x. Genesis 1:27 tells us, “And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” The Creator of the universe stamped and embedded His image within us in a way that is somehow mysteriously tied to our s*xuality. God designed the parts of their bodies and He blessed the union. When God made them male and female, He said it was “very good” (Genesis. 1:31).
S*x is for procreation in marriage. God created s*x so that we can reproduce after our own kind. Genesis 1:28 tells us that God blessed the man and the woman and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.
S*x is for intimacy in marriage. Genesis 4:1 says, “Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived.” Adam did not shake Eve’s hand. He had s*xual relations with his wife, and she conceived because they had in*******se. God intended us to become one flesh to draw us together. It’s a wonderful aspect of s*x.
S*x is for pleasure in marriage. God approves of appropriate gestures of love, romance, and pleasure within marriage. Look at Proverbs 5:19: “As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love.” That is not Pl***oy 5:19; that is Proverbs 5:19. God said it. He also wrote an entire book of the Bible about s*xual love in marriage, The Song of Solomon. God is not down on s*xual pleasure in marriage.
S*x was created to be enjoyed by a man and a woman in marriage. Today our media bombard us with the idea that God created and blesses other kinds of s*x, like that practiced by homos*xuals. You will need to share with your child that there is a radical homos*xual element in our culture saying, “We’re going to be in your face. You’re going to see us kissing on television and in movies. We want to become acceptable.”
S*x outside of marriage is a sin. God very clearly forbids fornication (1 Corinthians 6:9, Matthew. 15:19). Some believe only a cruel God would give teenagers a strong s*x drive but then order them not to act upon it until marriage. But when God forbids something, it is for our own good.
Use the following points to develop a clear, thought-out explanation on how God uses s*xual purity for our good.
You feel no guilt, no shame, and no emotional scars when you hold to a standard of s*xual holiness
You don’t hear any accusing voices in your own conscience.
You will not be tempted to compare your future spouse with a past lover.
You have no risk of s*xually transmitted disease.
You will not face the possibility of bearing a child out of wedlock.
It gives you much needed training in self-control and self-denial.
Step Four: Challenge your children to maintain purity and innocence until they are married
Let’s say your thirteen-year-old comes to you and says, “Mom, Dad, how far should I go (s*xually) with the opposite s*x?” Do you know what your standard would be? For example, what standard on kissing will you present to your child? Let us challeng our children to set a goal of not kissing anyone until the wedding ceremony. Now, that may sound preposterous to you, and that’s fine, but if that standard seems too high, answer this question: What line will you challenge your child to draw? If you do not challenge your child with a specific standard, we can promise you that your child will most definitely turn to his peers to develop his own standard.
I believe that the spiritual awakening that is begging to erupt in America may well occur through our youth. Moreover, it may be advanced by a band of parents who say to young people, “We want to lead you to the moral high ground.” That high ground is there to be taken if we love our teens and develop relationships with them so that these standards can be implanted in their hearts.
Step Five: Create a home environment that provides love, security, and physical affection for your children
In many cases the teens who become snared in the trap of illicit s*x are emotionally needy because of they don’t live in a loving, supportive home environment with strong standards and encouraging parents. Your home needs to be an emotional watering hole—an oasis where your children learn about trusting Christ. A place of refreshment for their souls, where they go for love and affection (even when they don’t seem to want it from you). If your home life is characterized by fear and legalism, your children may rebel.
As a child grows up and develops physically into a young woman or man, a concern may grow in the parent about how much physical affection should be given if the child is of the opposite s*x. The tendency is to think he is grown and doesn’t need the affection. Don’t stop lavishing your child with physical affection; he needs those hugs and kisses more than ever! A mom hugging her son and a dad hugging his daughter will send the message to both—you are a young man or a young woman who is worthy of attention and affection from someone of the opposite s*x.
How many times have you heard young women say that they sought affection from boys because they never received it from their fathers? Don’t make that mistake with your child.
As you look to teach and train your children about s*xual intimacy, remember God designed s*x as part of a married couple’s relationship meant to glorify God. As you lovingly invest in training your kids about God’s intention for s*x, you will help counteract all the sick and sorry messages that the world has to share.
