Forward From 50

24/07/2024

I finished a book today that was really profound in opening my eyes. It convinced me of the necessity to embrace those core values which make me unique by giving me superpowers to pursue a specific purpose.

Brant Menswar’s book, “Black Sheep: Unleash the Extraordinary, Awe-Inspiring, Undiscovered You” would be a wonderful starting point for anyone questioning what they can do after turning 50.

It will help you zero in on those things that fire you up to pursue something that would be perfectly in line with your core values.

Brant was correct in noting that many people have been told how important it is to begin with their “why” or answering why something is important to them. They’ve been told that when you know your “why,” the “what” and “how” will be more easily identifiable.

The problem is that the why for wanting to do something can be misleading. Most of us have dozens of things we consider to be important in our lives.

In reality, there are only about five or six values that truly define who we are in that they motivate us in a specific course of action.

I know I have “followed my why” multiple times, only to be sadly disappointed to discover I was bored or ineffective in what I was doing. There was no real change to my life or my career. It was super frustrating.

In his book, Brant said it is far more important to examine your non-negotiable core values – those things for which you will never compromise. They form the foundation of who you are as a person, and it includes traits that can’t be altered or changed, even if you tried.

The traits are almost baked in to your DNA. Brant calls them your “black sheep.”

A black sheep stands out in a field. More importantly, black wool can never be dyed. It is the most authentic part of ourselves.

Yet, when you find those core “black sheep values,” and build your life around them, then amazing things can happen. You stop pretending to be someone you are not, and live a 100% authentic life.

But, finding those core values can be difficult to do. It often takes a lot of personal reflection and honesty to select between those values you aspire to vs. those which truly make up the core of your being.

Brant offers to guide people through a process to get them thinking about their core black sheep values via a free online assessment tool.

It guides you through identifying all those values that are important to you. From there, he guides you through a process to zero in on those five or six truly core values that create what Brant calls a “one of a kind combination that makes you distinct from everyone else on the planet.”

Once you know those core values, you need to confirm that they are uniquely yours and not what you or other people aspire you to be. It’s a tough, but fulfilling process.

You can get started today by visiting https://www.brantmenswar.com/valuesassessment.

My final six black sheep values included: creativity, freedom, originality, faith and knowledge. I am going to retake the test again this weekend to see if I wind up with the same results.

Knowing them is already providing insight into why things have fizzled out in my past. Take jobs for example. I loved the work for a short time because they used my natural talent. But, I quickly got bored because freedom and originality do not fit well with corporate culture today.

Even if you think you know what your core values may be, I encourage you to take the assessment anyway. It’s free, and will either confirm what you’ve suspected all along, or open your eyes to why things haven’t been working out as you had hoped.

14/07/2024

It was three years ago today, around 1 p.m. Arizona time, that the idea of Forward From 50 was born. So, I guess that means the platform has grown out of its “terrible twos” and can enter the realm of being a stubborn “threenager.”

The idea came out of the blue while talking with a trusted mentor, Vincent Pugliese, after I had been struggling to find purpose in my life. It was Vincent who suggested there were many seasoned citizens over 50 who were struggling with a sense of purpose.

Perhaps they felt pushed aside from jobs they loved, had their lives shaken by an unfortunate event, or simply wondered to themselves, “There has got to be more to life than what I’m living.” Without a purpose to renew their minds and spirits, they were dying a slow death by a million meaningless distractions.

In the past three years, I have learned a lot about purpose. For example, men who retire without a sense of purpose are often dead within three years. It’s biblical. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (KJV)

In one of my favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption, the main character, Andy Dufresne, tells a fellow inmate, “It comes down to a simple choice; either get busy living, or get busy dying.” That’s a powerful message for every seasoned citizen to contemplate.

For Andy, the vision of getting out of prison and spending the rest of his life on the shores of the Pacific Ocean held great appeal. Many people dream of travel, but Andy’s vision extended beyond going to a nice place to relax. His vision had purpose.

Of course, Andy wanted to be on the perfect beach. But, he also wanted to do something, which was to find a beat up boat and make it like new. It would be an ideal hobby for a perfect place to live.

Still, Andy’s vision went even further. It sought to serve others. By fixing up his boat, Andy envisioned taking people charter fishing on the ocean.

I’m convinced a hobby isn’t strong enough to motivate people into long-term action. Hobbies are great for relaxation and distractions. However, a true sense of purpose must always involve serving others in some way.

For me, Forward From 50 came at just the right time. After my business was forced to close, I languished without purpose for several years. Trapped in a routine of boredom, I spent my days in trivial pursuits. Nothing meaningful was ever accomplished. I lacked a reason to get out of bed, and the energy to do anything worthwhile.

Forward From 50 changed my life. It introduced me to dozens of adventurous go-getters, or people with purpose, who were engaged in activities often vastly different from their original careers. They were trying new things and putting their natural talents, learned skills and unique life experiences to work making a difference in the lives of others.

By sharing their stories, it’s my hope that it inspires other seasoned citizens to realize as long as they have breath in their lungs, there is purpose to their lives. It doesn’t have to be grand or world-changing.

Simply investing your time to improve someone else’s situation is tremendously rewarding, even if you don’t get paid to do so. It’s what makes living fun, exciting and challenging.

One of my favorite podcasters, Nick Loper, the host of The Side Hustle Show, has a wise saying. He tells his listeners all the time that what you do from 9 to 5 makes you a living, but what you do from 5 to 9 gives you life. That can be applied to seasoned citizens, too.

What you did before turning 50 made a living, but what you do after that milestone birthday gives you a life.

So, as I blow out the candles on the cake to celebrate Forward From 50’s third birthday, my wish is that everyone reading this finds life brimming with purpose and abundance.

In John 10:10, Jesus noted that Satan “comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” They world repeatedly tells you that you’re too old and are no longer relevant. That is an outright lie.

If you need help getting on the road to renewed purpose, I’m happy to brainstorm some ideas with you, just as Vincent did with me three years ago today. Just drop me a line to get the ball rolling.

09/07/2024

There are few things more tragic than childhood trauma because it becomes part of a child's DNA.

The subject of this week's People With Purpose feature at Forward From 50 was well-versed in the impact of childhood trauma.

Danielle Bernock carried the baggage of those experiences well past her 50th birthday. However, when she finally stopped running from it and encountered her trauma head on, Danielle's life changed for the better.

Joy returned to her spirit and she developed a passion for helping other people to recover from trauma they experienced, especially as children.

Very few people can look back on their childhood without some type of regret. But, Danielle said childhood trauma has become an epidemic in the world today.

“Many people continue to suffer from trauma they experienced as kids because they never grieved about it,” she explained. “They tell themselves what they experienced wasn’t that bad.

“In truth, people don’t really know what trauma is and how it impacted their lives.” she added. “They chalk it up to this, that or the other thing. In reality, if they took time to examine the root of their problem, they could get rid of the baggage that came with their negative response.”

The story of Danielle's life and how it motivates her to help others recover from their own childhood trauma, can be found on the Forward From 50 website at:

https://forwardfrom50.com/danielle-bernock-helps-people-overcome-childhood-trauma/

03/07/2024

For this week's Forward From 50 podcast, I am speaking with a woman who was absolutely blindsided when her mother was diagnosed with dementia several years ago.

The situation forced her into uncharted territory as she scrambled to help her mother as best she could while struggling to tie up a whole bunch of loose ends.

In 2021, Nicole Smith was living in New Jersey where she and her husband had raised five children. Her mother lived across the continent in Los Angeles.

In October of that year, her mother was diagnosed with having dementia. The situation soon snowballed into a giant, confusing mess that left Nicole scrambling to get answers for questions she didn’t even know to ask.

As she searched for answers, it seemed the resources Nicole needed were not available to her. Thank goodness she kept copious notes.

The process of documenting everything she was going through was very therapeutic for Nicole. Yet, unbeknownst to her, she was also compiling what would become a resource to help other families forced into contending with the same situation.

After finding out her mother’s true condition, it opened a Pandora’s box of other problems, legally, financially and medically. She began doing research into the whole issue of eldercare.

Nicole said she felt like she was playing a real-life game of Whack-A-Mole, dealing with one problem after another as soon as it came up.

One thing Nicole and her family realized is that her mother had been exhibiting symptoms of dementia for quite a while, but they dismissed them as “senior moments,” brushed them off and moved on.

Eventually, difficult conversations had to take place and tough decisions had to be made. Every state is different, which is why Nicole strongly advises families to consult with a local lawyer sooner, rather than later.

Being a caregiver for someone with dementia is tasking at best, and distance complicates the matter in degrees of magnitude. Fortunately, Nicole found an unexpected ally from an organization called Daughterhood.

It consists of other women who are tasked with responding to curveballs life throws their way which force them to step up and take charge as a daughter in a constantly-changing situation.

The online support group was so helpful to Nicole that she went through a process to become a Daughterhood circle leader to guide discussions herself.

She assembled the information she discovered along her journey into her book titled “Diagnosis Dementia: A Guide of Eldercare Planning and Crisis Management,” which she released in October 2023.

Today, Nicole lives in Arizona and spends her time talking to various groups to encourage them to prepare now for a crisis tomorrow.

To here Nicole tell her story in her own words, you can find her podcast episode on the Forward From 50 website at:

https://forwardfrom50.com/nicole-smith-describes-her-purpose-preparing-for-eldercare-in-episode-66/

03/07/2024

When Wyatt Timmins turned 50, he planned to continue serving in pastoral ministry. But, he had a deep yearning to return to music as a way where he could combine singing with being a pastor.

Here are my key takeaways from my interview with Wyatt:

1. When you have an aptitude for something and sense you're being called by God to go in that direction, then don't fight it. You were created for that purpose.

2. The road to your destiny can be long and winding, but for a reason. God is preparing you every step of the way to walk into your destiny.

3. When you feel disappointed that God hasn't opened a door you hoped he would, it could be that God has something even bigger in store for you.

4. You were created for a time such as this. Had Wyatt been born 50 years earlier, he never would have had the impact he did on the lives of truck drivers.

5. “God will minister to us through anybody,” said Wyatt. “If God can use a hippie like Lonnie Frisbee to reach thousands of people for his kingdom, God can use anybody on the planet.”

6. When you are interested enough in something, you will self-teach yourself to learn the technology.

7. “Most of us have hopes, dreams, desires and a passion within us, and it’s usually a journey to get there,” said Wyatt. “We just need to trust that God has a plan and his timing is perfect.”

8. It is vitally important that people over 50 put their natural skills and learned talents to work serving others. There are many opportunities for you to serve in a capacity that utilizes both.

You can read my full Forward From 50 interview with Wyatt Timmins at:

https://forwardfrom50.com/wyatt-timmins-shares-his-faith-in-words-and-music/

26/06/2024

For this week's Forward From 50 podcast, I am going across the Atlantic Ocean to interview a man who found purpose making people laugh on Facebook, and he also coaches others to enjoy a better life.

Mike Coote lives in the United Kingdom where he has served as an executive business coach working with very senior people in government and business.

In 2020, he founded a group on Facebook called “Uplifting Uplifting, Inspiring, Informative and Funny Quotes for Everybody.” It’s a mouthful, but being a member of Mike’s group has greatly enhanced my Facebook experience.

He spends about 20 minutes a day finding material, but still manages to post an enormous amount of content designed to make people laugh or cause them to think.

He started the group during the COVID mess just to help people feel a little better about themselves. Today, he has 4,300 members.

Humor is tricky today in a world where people are so easily offended and the cancel culture is so prevalent. But, Mike manages to make his group safe and wholesome by keeping drama out. You won’t find any political posts, but he does share material related to his strong Christian faith.

In the interview, Mike talks about his varied life, which included time serving in the South Africa special forces, as a Baptist minister, a crisis counselor and life coach.

Mike was absolutely correct in noting that anyone who has achieved anything of importance, especially in sports, has done so because they have had strong coaches. They tend to speak directly to their clients to help them see situations from a different perspective.

Coaches aren’t likely to accept excuses for thinking and behavior that hold people back from achieving what they say they truly want in life.

I think Mike shows us that, because of our vast life experience, people over 50 make ideal coaches. It’s not that they know everything and are the experts. Rather, people over 50 have such a wonderful perspective on life that would be invaluable to younger people – even those just a few years behind them.

The key to being a good coach is to establish trust with others. Coaches are instrumental in helping older people to see their lives still have value, and that they have important roles to play.

Mike offered some excellent advice on how people over 50 can regain a sense of purpose when something, like a job or business, is taken away. It involves working with a coach who can ask the right questions to point their lives in a different direction. Coaches bring clarity, even to difficult and confusing situations.

One way Mike keeps his mind sharp, even at age 67, is through reading. He has completed more than 3,700 books during his life and currently has about 300 waiting to be read. He also attends workshops put on by other professionals, which means Mike is continuously learning.

Mike loves to mentor other people. He estimates he gives away about 20 percent of his time, and he has clients all over the world.

One of the best ways Mike likes to honor and support other people is by sending them personalized birthday greetings. It’s just another way he likes to uplift people and make them feel better.

Mike's interview can be found on the Forward From 50 website and though other podcast sites, too.

Mike talks about his varied life, which included time serving in the South Africa special forces, as a Baptist minister, a crisis counselor and life coach.

25/06/2024

With my attention focused on spending the last few days with my daughter and her family before heading back to Arizona, I completely forgot last Friday was a milestone anniversary.

It was June 21, 2019, that I officially shut down RV Daily Report, an online publication I had founded 10 years earlier.

I won't go into the particulars behind the shutdown other than to say that when the business stopped being fun and became a daily grind -- and my attitude about it was in the toilet -- it was time to take drastic action.

Although shutting it down was absolutely the right decision to make, doing so was a huge challenge for me personally. I had envisioned the publication carrying me through "retirement."

For many years, I loved reporting news about the RV industry every day, but I enjoyed interviewing people leading companies and organizations even more. I had been a pioneer in many ways as the RV industry's first entirely online business publication, the first business blog, the first business podcast, and the first daily business publication.

I had accomplished a lot in a few years. But, when it went away, so did the purpose of my life, along with my income, social standing and many personal connections.

One year later, the social isolation imposed by COVID restrictions brought on a level of despair I didn't expect. It was a very dark time.

Thankfully, Vincent Pugliese was one of my mentors. He sensed I was in a very dark and dangerous place. Out-of-the-blue, he offered to connect with me on Zoom.

Not only did Vincent sense the problem I was experiencing was related to a lack of purpose for my life, he suggested that MANY other people over the age of 50 were struggling with the same issue.

They were forced out of jobs they loved, experienced similar disruptions to their lives, felt empty, lonely and isolated. After being forced to the sidelines, they thought to themselves, "There has got to be more to life than what I'm experiencing."

Vincent opened my eyes to what soon became Forward From 50, and many people have benefited from it today. I've met some great people who are passionately pursuing new direction for their lives, and they've allowed me to share their stories with the world.

It's still amazing to me how easy it is to get trapped in an endless loop of negative thinking -- and how easy it is for one person to have a tremendous impact on someone else just by offering hope.

So, thanks Vincent, for pointing me in a different direction, and encouraging me to do the same for others.

19/06/2024

I posted two episodes of the Forward From 50 podcast this week.

Dave J Jenkins Jr grew up in relative poverty in a neighborhood plagued by crime, drugs and a lack of education as well as positive role models. Yet, he was an early adapter to technology.

Dave learned to program big, room-size computers. Today, he still works in information technology, but as a salesman selling cybersecurity and voice-over-internet protocol (VOIP) software products.

When Dave turned 50, he started shifting into coaching. He saw it as a way to hone his own skills to help others uncover things within them or to pursue things they felt were out of their reach.

Dave specializes in two areas of coaching. The first is marriage and relationships, and he has a 46-year relationship with his wife to back-up his authority in that area.

The second area is personal development and helping people grow or advance to the next level in whatever they want to do. Dave notes that all the real superstars in sports as well as in life have become great simply because they had strong coaches to point out blind spots and to fine-tune their natural talent.

Many people have million-dollar ideas, but are too afraid to step out and pursue them. So, Dave helps them develop a pathway to take those first steps toward achieving their dreams.

Dave recently completed his first book titled, “Hello, Purpose!,” which is a 21-day journal people can complete to help them uncover more purpose for their lives.

I was inspired by Dave’s work as a coach. He’s right, in order to get better at anything, even life, you need a personal coach.

We can often get distracted by our lack of understanding as to who we are and what we were created to do. A good coach, like Dave, can help people see through the fog to discover opportunities ideally suited to their natural talents, learned skills and unique life experiences.

I liked Dave’s explanation that we often experience different wake-up calls during our lives. The five-minute wake-up call is something that happens to you the first time which opens your eyes. The two-minute wake-up call is something that has occurred a second time.

Dave said if it happens again, then you better start getting serious about whatever God has put in your mind or on your heart.

Purpose is something that is uncovered, not discovered. It is often always there. Dave said finding purpose requires you to remove things that are preventing you from getting started, and removing obstacles that prevent you from advancing in that direction.

A coach also helps peel back layers of doubt and uncertainty to get to the heart of what’s holding someone back. Once the foundation of purpose is set, then they need to build a framework for living it out.

Dave mentioned the importance of having the right friends by your side who encourage you to step into your purpose rather than discourage you from getting started. After all, if you succeed, it may make them feel uncomfortable and force them to address their own limitations.

A good coach is not necessarily the sage or expert. Rather, he or she is a good listener who asks good questions to challenge people to think outside the box and overcome any limitations they put on themselves.

I can see why Dave is such a good coach. He’s a great listener and he has keen insight as well. He can apply both of those skills to helping you discover a greater purpose for your life, or advancing your marriage and other relationships, too.

Dave offers a free webinar from time-to-time to help people identify the power of purpose and how it can change their lives. You can learn more information and connect with Dave by visiting www.davejenkinscoaching.com. His book “Hello Purpose!” is available on Amazon and in other bookstores.

You can listen to Dave tell his story in his own words on the Forward From 50 podcast at:

https://forwardfrom50.com/dave-jenkins-describes-the-life-changing-aspect-of-coaching-in-episode-64/

After Dave turned 50, he saw coaching as a way to hone his skills to help others uncover things within them or to pursue things they felt were out of reach.

17/06/2024

In this week's Forward From 50 podcast, I interview a fifth-generation Texas native who spent her career working in municipal recreation. After retiring, she entered the Miss Texas Senior America Pageant.

Jill Beam grew up in the spotlight, so to speak. Her father was a professional musician in the Fort Worth Symphony for 40 years, and her mother was a well-known speaker and actress in the local area.

As a result, she grew up around a lot of people and enjoyed being in the limelight herself. She went to college to get degrees in recreation and education. Eventually, Jill landed her dream job overseeing festivals, special events and dozens of recreation
centers as well as 435 city parks.

Toward the end of her career, she became a trainer to advance a customer service initiative with the city’s 13,000 employees.

In 2015, Jill left that position, but she didn’t retire. Instead, she rewired and went to work for senior centers and retirement communities.

Eventually, Jill followed in her mother’s footsteps to become an entertainer, speaker and book reviewer.

Her crowning achievement was participating in the Miss Texas Senior America Pageant, which was an event Jill’s mother served as emcee for nearly 20 years.

I really enjoyed Jill’s comment that she didn’t retire, rather she rewired. Rewiring is a great term because she didn’t abandon her former career. Instead, she used skills she utilized managing parks and recreation, and applied them toward senior centers as well.

After watching her mother thrive as a seasoned citizen, Jill followed in her footsteps to become an entertainer and storyteller herself.

Jill combined a love for reading with a passion for storytelling to deliver presentations to various clubs and service organizations. She describes books she’s read, plays she has enjoyed and experiences she’s had throughout her life.

Her involvement in the Miss Texas Senior America Pageant was a little different from traditional beauty pageants. Contestants need to be at least 60 to enter, and they compete in four categories: philosophy of life, evening gown, talent and an interview with the judges.

Still, Jill made her way into the Top 10, which opened the door for her to make public appearances and presentations around Texas.

For the pageant’s talent competition, Jill opted to sing a song from a Broadway play she and her mother had seen together, “The Drowsy Chaperone.” She sang “Show Off” while twirling a baton, tap dancing and playing the piccolo.

Following her participation in the pageant, Jill rewired again to write and publish her own book titled, “Growing Up Rumbley,” which highlighted her experiences as the daughter of Jack and Rosemary Rumbley.

The book describes not only what it was like to have locally-famous parents, but also all the experiences Jill has enjoyed in her life.

For fun, she makes presentations to various groups. She titled one presentation “Laughter for the Health of it.” In it, Jill outlines the importance of laughter in life, and combines it with bits from several musicals. Another presentation is titled, “You’re Never too Old to Rock and Roll,” which describes the remarkable things older people have done later in life.

Jill based her life off the Bible passage found in Matthew 6:34, which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Jill vows to live each day to the fullest and she reminds people life has no remote control; you have to get up and change it.

People can connect with Jill by email at [email protected] and on Facebook. Her book, “Growing Up Rumbley,” is available on Amazon and other bookstores.

My interview with Jill can be found on the Forward From 50 website at:

When it came time to retire, Jill rewired instead and became a multi-talented storyteller, author and entertainer.

06/06/2024

In this week's Forward From 50 podcast, I am interviewing a man who is not yet 50, but he has a wonderful opportunity for seasoned citizens to serve others during the most important moments of their lives.

Jon Sanders is one of the people behind Life Celebration Institute. It is an organization that helps men and women in the United States and Canada become certified to officiate life celebrations and rites of passage, such as weddings, funerals and new child celebrations.

Jon’s business partner, Wayne Prevett, developed the institute several years ago when he was living in Canada. Jon is helping Wayne expand the program in the United States.

The trained celebrants show up in a very professional way to preside over the events. In the past, people may have hired pastors to lead the celebrations. However, with more people not involved in a church today, they still want someone to lead a unique and memorable ceremony.

Jon explains why people like having non-clergy members presiding over weddings and, especially funerals. Pastors sometimes see those ceremonies as interruptions to their real ministry activities.

Some churches are too small to accommodate large events, so families look for people who can officiate outside of churches or in locations far away from a pastor’s church.

Consequently, leading life celebrations is an opportunity for men and women to have their own ministries in the marketplace, and make extra money doing it.

When I first heard about Life Celebration Institute, I saw it as a tremendous opportunity for people over 50 to enjoy a sense of purpose by serving families during the most meaningful moments of their lives.

Life Celebration Institute trains people to show up at the events and serve with empathy, professionalism, and strong, secure leadership. The celebrants stand in the gap conducting a legal ceremony for weddings, and telling the real story about people who have died.

Jon explained that many funerals involve little more than reciting someone’s obituary when, in fact, there was far more meaning to the person’s life.

To become trained to conduct life celebrations, the officials really need to care about other people, commit to showing up on time and being professionally dressed. They are committed to creating a memorable moment for the family.

The institute trains people how to conduct ceremonies in ways that brings Jesus into the moment, but not in an overbearing manner as though they are reading from a liturgy handbook.

Jon explained that Canada is already a post-Christian society, and the United States is following closely behind. For many people, turning to professional clergy during these important times is not even on their radar.

Therefore, the officiants are trained to serve people wherever they are on their faith journey, but in a professional, loving and memorable manner.

Training generally takes place online over a two-day period, and people need separate certifications to conduct weddings, funerals or new life celebrations. In addition, the trained professionals pay an annual fee to Life Celebration Ministries to maintain their certification.

However, people who officiate the ceremonies are often making around $750 or more to officiate a wedding. As independent business owners, they can set their own prices, and determine which jobs to accept.

To listen to Jon explain what is involved in officiating life celebrations and how to get certified to lead them, visit:

Jon's organization helps people become certified to officiate rites of passage, such as weddings, funerals and new child celebrations.