Your Quotes 心语录 (2024)

03/03/2024

Being a good person—that’s an honorable thing. Driving your drunk friends home, consoling the broken-hearted, handing your change to the homeless guy, listening to someone pour out their biggest fears, supporting the drug addict in his recovery—these things are wonderful, powerful, life-changing.

But you cannot find your worth solely in what you do for others.

As beautiful as it is to be the shoulder to cry on, the support system, the safety net for the people you care about, you need to know one very important thing: 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲.

And you don’t have to be everything to everyone.

Life is difficult. There’s no denying that. And people need one another—for support, for love, for strength. And you? You are the type of person who provides that, willingly and openly. You are a blessing.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘁𝗼𝗼.

You cannot always put others first. Sometimes you need to take a step back and love yourself, find what you need and chase it. Sometimes you need to put others and their desires aside for a moment, and love them from a distance as you discover who you are.

You need to know that you are a wonderful person, a selfless person, and you shouldn’t change that about yourself. But you also need to know that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. And it’s okay if you can’t be what everyone needs every second of the day.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁. 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁.

You cannot fix the friend with the drug addiction, you cannot mend the girl with the broken heart, you cannot repair every relationship and scar and bruise. It’s impossible.

It doesn’t mean you can’t try, that you can’t love deeply and be a loving hand and heart. But it does mean that you need to let go of the idea that you can save the world, that you are the one person who needs to be everything.

It’s okay to not be everything. You can’t be everything.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲, 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻.

It just keeps you honest, keeps you sane, keeps you from losing yourself as you try to save someone else.

You are wonderful. A person with a big heart, a patient mind, and a strong soul. You have dragged people out of their pain, pulled hearts from the deepest holes, taken dirty, broken souls and dusted them off, turned them back around.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲.

But when you reach the end of your rope, when you feel burdened and exhausted, know this—you cannot be everything to everyone. And that’s okay.

You are more than enough.

Credit: Thought Catalog

18/12/2023

10 effective tips and advice to help individuals avoid being second options in a relationship:

1. Know Your Worth:
Understand your own value and what you bring to a relationship. Confidence in your self-worth will make it less likely for you to settle for being someone's second choice.

2. Set Boundaries:
Clearly communicate your expectations and boundaries early in the relationship. This helps establish respect and ensures that both partners are on the same page regarding commitment.

3. Observe Actions, Not Just Words:
Pay attention to how your partner treats you on a daily basis. Actions often speak louder than words, and consistent positive behavior is a strong indicator of genuine interest and commitment.

4. Communicate Openly:
Foster open and honest communication. Express your feelings, desires, and concerns with your partner. Encourage them to share their thoughts and emotions as well. Transparency builds trust.

5. Prioritize Self-Care:
Focus on your personal well-being and happiness. When you prioritize self-care, you are more likely to attract a partner who values you for who you are and treats you with the respect you deserve.

6. Understand Your Deal-breakers:
Identify your deal-breakers and non-negotiables in a relationship. If a partner cannot meet these fundamental criteria, it's crucial to be willing to walk away to maintain your self-respect.

7. Build a Support System:
Surround yourself with friends and family who support and uplift you. A strong support system can provide valuable perspective and encouragement, helping you make healthier relationship choices.

8. Be Patient:
Don't rush into commitments. Allow the relationship to develop naturally, giving both partners time to assess compatibility and build a strong foundation before making significant commitments.

9. Stay Independent:
Maintain your independence and individuality within the relationship. Having your own hobbies, goals, and interests will not only make you more attractive but also ensure you are not solely defined by the relationship.

10. Know When to Walk Away:
Recognize the signs of being a second option and be prepared to walk away if your partner is not willing to prioritize and commit to the relationship. It takes courage to let go, but it is essential for your long-term happiness and well-being.

Remember, a healthy and fulfilling relationship involves mutual respect, commitment, and shared values. It's essential to be with someone who sees and values you as a first choice, not a backup plan.

07/08/2023

𝗧𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿

Breaking free from toxic relationships can be challenging but essential for your emotional well-being and personal growth. This Relationship Decluttering Planner will guide you through recognizing toxic patterns, setting boundaries, and ultimately walking away from harmful relationships.

1. Self-Reflection:
- Take time to reflect on your feelings and experiences in the relationship.
-Identify any emotional or psychological abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, or disrespect patterns.
- Acknowledge your emotions without judgment and accept that feeling hurt or confused is okay.

2. Seek Support:
- Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a supportive and non-judgmental space.
- Discuss your concerns and feelings, and listen to their insights and perspectives.

3. Define Boundaries:
- Set clear boundaries with the toxic person to protect your emotional well-being.
- Decide what behaviour you will no longer tolerate and communicate your boundaries assertively.

4. Identify Your Needs and Values:
- Assess what you truly need and value in a healthy relationship.
- Compare these needs and values with the reality of the toxic relationship.

5. Evaluate the Relationship:
- List the positive and negative aspects of the relationship.
- Consider the toxic relationship's impact on your emotional health, self-esteem, and happiness.

6. Create a Support Network:
- Strengthen connections with friends and family who genuinely care about your well-being.
- Seek support groups or online communities of people who have experienced similar situations.

7. Establish an Exit Plan:
- Plan how you will walk away from the toxic relationship safely and responsibly.
- Consider practical aspects, such as living arrangements, finances, and logistics.

8. Focus on Self-Care:
- Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your emotional, physical, and mental health.
- Engage in hobbies, exercise, mindfulness, or any activities that bring you joy.

9. Communicate Your Decision:
- When ready, talk calmly and assertively with the toxic person.
- Please express your decision to end the relationship and reiterate your boundaries.

10. Stay Firm and Setbacks:
- Expect that the toxic person may try to manipulate or guilt-trip you into staying.
- Stay firm in your decision and remind yourself of the reasons for walking away.

11. Cut-Off Contact:
- Limit contact with the toxic person, especially if they refuse to respect your boundaries.
- Consider blocking them on social media and changing contact information if necessary.

12. Seek Professional Help:
- If you find coping with the aftermath of ending the toxic relationship challenging, consider seeking professional support through counselling or therapy.

13. Practice Forgiveness and Letting Go:
- Forgive yourself for any perceived mistakes or shortcomings in the relationship.
- Embrace the process of letting go and focus on your healing journey.

14. Celebrate Your Liberation:
- Recognize and celebrate the courage it took to walk away from a toxic relationship.
- Appreciate the newfound freedom and growth you will experience.

Remember, walking away from a toxic relationship is an act of self-love and empowerment. Trust yourself and your instincts throughout this journey.

By following this Relationship Decluttering Planner, you will pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future. You deserve to be surrounded by positivity and love. Stay strong, and take one step at a time.

19/06/2023

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

𝗕𝗮𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝘀.

Toxic relationships change us in more ways than one. Being damaged by a toxic partner teaches us that it isn't safe to trust but also instills many other lessons. When you are touched by toxic and all-consuming relationships that blow your world apart, you are left in the rubble of self-loathing, paranoia, and avoidance.

Are you ready to get yourself back on track? You have to redefine what you want from love and commitment so you can pursue it with compassion and intention.

𝗧𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.

When we fall for toxic people, everything changes. Not only do we lose trust in others, but we lose trust in ourselves too, and our ability to create rewarding relationships.

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

𝗟𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁
Toxic relationships entirely erode our trust - in ourselves and our future partners. It's understandable. Picking someone who hurts you can cause you to doubt your ability to find love.

𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗰𝘆
Intimacy is a crucial part of any long-term relationship. To be intimate with our partner is to be vulnerable; it's to share those parts of ourselves we don't feel safe sharing with others. Avoiding this intimacy leads to gaps in our partnerships that are hard to fill again.

𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗽 𝗰𝘆𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗺
Cynicism is another common result of a long history of toxic and traumatic relationships. Having such frequent experiences with failure, it becomes easy to expect that same failure at every future turn. This cynicism gets us nowhere, though. To build loving and lasting partnerships, we have to be able to see the bright side from time to time.

𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗺
Becoming accustomed to being hurt, we center pain as the focus of our reality. This creates an overwhelming sense of doom that follows us throughout our lives.

𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗶𝗮
Just as we lose trust in the wake of a toxic relationship, we can also find ourselves bottomed out with paranoia. Doubting ourselves and doubting the intentions of everyone else around us, we begin to see pain hiding in every single shadow. This paranoia isn't healthy and keeps us from opening up to the next person - even when they're the right one.

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗹𝗼𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴
Perhaps the most significant way our t traumatic and toxic relationships change us is through self-loathing. Many people exit their bad partnerships and immediately internalize all the blame for that partnership's failure. This leads to a hatred of self and a belief that you alone are the one that's flawed with it comes to love. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our relationships fail because we choose the wrong people and settle for their poor behaviours. All of this can change, though.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗽 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂
It's only possible to chase another relationship once you know how you want to move forward in love. Like it or not, this can only happen once you spend time alone and get a grip on what you want from life and love.

𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗺
Toxic relationships destroy our self-esteem and separate us from our core sense of authenticity and strength. To get back on the right track in love, we must invest in rebuilding our self-confidence. This is the armour which protects our happiness and our sense of security.

Low self-esteem leads us down the rabbit hole of toxic relationships and raised self-esteem gets us out of it. We don't settle for sub-par relationships when we love ourselves. We fight for what we want and demand respect (because that's what we do for the people we love).

𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀
We all need standards when it comes to relationships. That's not selfish. It's a fact. Could you re-think the standards you're setting for your relationships? Don't allow partners to walk all over you, and never open the door on someone who shows you a hint of disrespect.

𝗘𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀
We reflect on who we surround ourselves with, and our partners follow suit. Please take a look at your history of toxic partners. By elevating our social circles and environments, we can attract a higher calibre of partners and see ourselves in a better light.

𝗥𝗲-𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
By rethinking how you see connections and relationships, you can empower yourself to build more fair partnerships that make sense for you (and your partner).

Rethinking our connections is powerful and allows us to manifest more balanced and fair relationships in their focus and patience.

Source: E.B.Johnson/ Medium

20/02/2023

𝟗 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

People refer to their romantic partner as their “significant other” because that’s precisely what they are, a significant one whom they love and appreciate.

Being significant means being a priority, not an option. In a romantic relationship, wanting to feel significant and unique to your partner is normal.
But sometimes life happens, and there will always be inevitable circumstances where other commitments such as family or work may have to take a back seat, but this should be the exception and not the norm.

If you constantly feel like you’re not a priority in your partner’s life, it’s important to recognize the signs that might mean you’re just an option to him/ her.

Signs You Are an Option, Not a Priority

Start by asking yourself these questions:

- Do you often feel that your partner doesn’t put you first?
- Do you plan your life around hers and hardly - ever your own?
- Do you feel your partner doesn’t respect or “see” your needs?
- Does he/ she make you feel it’s up to you to make all the effort?
- Do you generally feel unappreciated and unsupported?

If so, these are all indications that your partner views you as more of an option – not a priority.

There are better places to be. In fact, being made to feel an option by the person we love is a horrible place to be, which can take a toll on our happiness and health.

Here are 9 signs that you may be an option, not a priority.

𝟭. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁

Maybe you feel like you make all the effort in the relationship but don’t feel it’s reciprocated. For example, whenever there is something that he/she really wants to do, you pay attention and keep the date free in your schedule to make sure that you’ll be available.

Or maybe he/she never seems to want to take you to important events with her work or family?

This can leave you feeling like you’re not “good enough” or “important enough” for him/her to want to show you off to people.

You’re eventually going to feel unhappy and unappreciated in your relationship.

𝟮. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁

Communication is critical for any relationship that can take a toll on our happiness and should be a two-way street.

If your partner never contacts you first, it might be a sign that she doesn’t think about you during the day. A good partner will always try to find little ways to make their loved one feel special, even if by sending a quick text message.

But if you feel like you always have to initiate conversations and never your partner, this could be a sign that they see you as an option rather than a priority.

If so, then that is not a fair or balanced relationship.

𝟯. 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝘀

Does your partner only contact you at the last moment to make plans to go out? Maybe they aren’t considerate of your schedule or life plans and expect you to drop everything whenever they call.

Maybe you feel like a last resort and that they only seem keen to spend time with you when they’ve exhausted all their other options.

There are better ways to be treated. In fact, it’s a horrible way to be treated by someone who is supposed to love and respect you.

If your partner constantly treats you this way, it’s time to reclaim your masculinity and self-respect or walk away.

𝟰. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗹𝘆

The saying that “love is blind” really does have some truth to it.

Whenever we have deep feelings for someone, we really want to only see the best in them. This can lead to us trying to rationalize or explain away our partner’s behaviour, even when they are treating us horribly.

If your partner constantly lets you down; for example, maybe they miss important dates like your birthday or planned dinner dates with your family and friends, and then when you try to bring it up to them, your partner nonchalantly invalidates your feelings, then this is a form of emotional manipulation. You don’t deserve to be mistreated or disrespected in this way.

It may be time that you learn to self-love, make yourself a priority and walk away from your relationship.

𝟱. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘀

A relationship is a partnership, and when you build a life with someone, the least you can expect is to be consulted about the big decisions they might make.

But suppose your partner keeps making important decisions, whether related to his/ her career, health or family, without consulting you. In that case, this is a massive red flag that you are not his/ her priority.

𝟲. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱

Romantic relationships are meant to add to our happiness, not take it away. But if our partner always treats us as an afterthought and does not respect our wants and needs, this can make us feel unhappy and even lower our confidence or self-esteem.

Whenever we’re in a relationship, it should feel like we are part of a team, planning and building for our future together. Still, whenever we are constantly made to feel like an option at the bottom of somebody’s list, this can even make us feel depressed.

Have you noticed that you have become more insecure since being with your partner? Or do you find yourself feeling irritable, confused and unhappy regularly?

These can all be signs that your relationship is affecting your happiness and also a sign that you need to make a change, either to the dynamics of your relationship or the nature of the relationship itself.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗯𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿.

𝟳. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝘀/ 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆

When someone sees you as a priority in their life, they will want to introduce you to the people who matter to them.

If your partner never introduces you to their friends or family, it is a sign that they are not ready to fully commit to you. They might be afraid of what others will think, or they might not see you as a long-term partner.

If you've been in a relationship for a while and your partner never talks about you to her friends or family, it's a sign that you're an option, not a priority.

𝟴. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲

Does your partner constantly flirt with others, even when you're around? Maybe you've caught his/ her eyes up others or heard him/ her making suggestive comments to them.

This is a big sign that she sees you as an option rather than a priority. If your partner was indeed in love with you, he/ she would never do anything to make you jealous or insecure.

Flirting with other people in a relationship is a clear sign of disrespect, and it's definitely not something you should tolerate.

𝟵. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽

A good partner will always try to find ways to improve the relationship and make their loved one feel special.

Maybe he/ she will surprise you with flowers or little gifts, or maybe he/she will cook you dinner and do everything you love.

But if your partner never makes any effort to improve the relationship, it might be a sign that he/ she doesn't see it going anywhere long-term.

If he/ she is constantly picking fights with you or starting arguments for no reason, it might be a sign that he or she is not as invested in the relationship as you are.

If he/she constantly threatens to break up with you or says things like, "I'm not sure if this is working out," or "I need some space," he/she is trying to manipulate to get what she wants, and it's a sign that she does not see you as a priority in his/ her life.

What to do if you feel like you’re an option, not a priority?
What do you do when you are not a priority in your partner’s life? How should we respond to someone always treating us as a choice or an option?

First, you need to start doing exactly what your partner is not; that is to start taking your needs seriously.

Sometimes, when we are so used to prioritizing someone else’s needs, we can forget what ours are?!

So a significant first step is to take a moment to list what’s important to you. What needs do you feel that your partner has been neglecting? What would you like to do more in your life, and how do you wish to be treated?

Next, have a calm and open discussion with your partner where you tell them exactly how you’ve been feeling and read out your list of reasons why your partner’s behaviour has made you feel this way.

Explain to your partner that you need them to re-evaluate their relationship priorities. Right now, read out your list of reasons why your partner’s behaviour has made you feel like your needs are not being met and that you’re being treated as nothing more than an option.

Finally, could you make it clear that although you love them and want things to work, you need to start feeling more of a priority moving forward?

Give your partner some time to consider what you have said and time to implement some changes. It may be that your partner sees where they have been going wrong, so they start making more effort.

The best-case scenario would be that they take everything you say on board, so you begin to feature a lot higher on your partner’s priority list.

But we also need to know that this may not be the case, and she may not take you seriously. He/she may be unable to see your viewpoint or make the necessary changes you deserve.

If this case, then it may be time to make yourself a priority and leave. This can be incredibly complicated, and you might need clarification or be more relaxed about how to proceed.

Takeaways

If your partner is always putting his/her needs ahead of yours, flirting with others, or making you feel like you're not a priority in his/ her life, it's time to talk seriously.

These are all clear signs that he/ she doesn't see you as a long-term partner and he/she is not interested in committing to you.

If you're unhappy with how things are going, feel free to speak up and tell your partner how you feel. If he/ she is unwilling to make things work, it might be time to move on.

Source: Andrew Ferebee

18/12/2022

7 Rules of Life

Does any of these points resonate with you?

Source: themantraoco

06/12/2022

Release & Let Go Affirmations.

◾️ I let go of what no longer serves me.
◾️ I release all limiting beliefs.
◾️ I release self-doubt.
◾️ I let go of fear.
◾️ I release an attachment to the outcome.
◾️ I release toxic relationships.
◾️ I let go of relationships that no longer serve my highest good.
◾️ I let go of worry.
◾️ I release lack and know that the universe is abundant.
◾️ I let go of negativity.
I release all that is not in alignment with my life path.

29/10/2022

𝟭𝟱 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲?
When you are a second choice in a relationship, you aren’t the person your partner always calls. They may have other mates they hang out with and might keep you on the line for when their first option is busy.

Moreover, if you are a second choice, you are being treated as an option. This is not something that you have to put up with. You should find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and make you their first and only choice.

𝗜𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲?
No. It is not okay to be someone’s second choice. There will always be someone who can’t see your worth and may want to put you on the back burner if they don’t have someone else to call on or date.
It is important to remember that you should never settle for second best, especially if you consider the person you are in a relationship with as your first choice.

𝟭𝟱 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲
1. You deserve love and respect
2. You should be able to get what you want out of a relationship
3. It can change who you are
4. It is essentially not worth the effort
5. It can negatively affect your mental health
6. You will likely experience many insecurities
7. Your confidence can suffer
8. Your relationship isn’t equal
9. Your happiness is affected
10. It is hard to make plans
11. You are unable to be honest with your loved ones
12. You may feel lonely most of the time
13. You are probably being lied to
14. You might be setting yourself up for a broken heart
15. There’s someone out there for you

Finding a partner who will appreciate you and treat you like you treat them is essential. Don’t settle for anything less!

Source: marriage.com

23/10/2022

Agree?

09/10/2022

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07/10/2022

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗪𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗘𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁

Have you ever been in a relationship, or maybe you’re currently in one, where the issues in the relationship leave you feeling anxious and insecure?

You’ve invested much of your time and energy into this relationship; you love this person. You have a fantastic connection and believe you’re great for each other, but the issues aren’t going away, and it’s really wearing on your patience and self-esteem?

Maybe they’re going through a harsh separation or divorce or still trying to heal from the end of their marriage. Whatever they’re going through, maybe it’s occupying them physically and emotionally to a point where you’re really frustrated at the lack of consistent emotional availability and commitment...and you’re wondering if the relationship will work out.

And you're wondering: How long should you wait for them to commit? And how do you know when you've waited long enough?

But the short answer is: you know you’ve waited long enough when you’ve spent more than you’re willing to pay.

Sometimes people settle for less than they really want because they don’t believe they can get what they want. But the thing is, when you settle for less, you get less.

So ask yourself: how much do you value your time?

𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗧?
‍Here’s my honest opinion — I don’t believe in waiting.

Your time is way too valuable. Your life and dreams are too valuable to wait for anybody unless they move heaven and Earth to be with you and make the necessary changes to meet your needs.

But even then, they would have to be pretty close to resolving any issues.

But if they are being passive about it (waiting for someone else to do something instead of taking being proactive), dragging their feet or making excuses, there’s no way you should wait.

Source: Melissa Jay

25/09/2022

When someone treats you like one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation.

Sometimes you have to try not to care no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It's not pride. It's self-respect.

Don't give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

18/09/2022

𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲

Meetings can be an odd experience. Before you know it, the meeting can get out of control. Leaders with pinstripe suits or hair turning grey quicker by the day can lose the plot. They flex their ego with words. In other words, they talk a lot. As the meeting wears on, the duel continues. Leaders throw words around. Those looking for their next promotion do the same.

The meeting is a waste of time. No resolution is reached.

But it’s not all bad. Meetings have taught me one valuable lesson: watch the quiet people.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗿, 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸.
The brightest spark in the room says nothing at all. They are there taking notes and paying attention to what is going on. They watch the duel of egos and see no room to interrupt.

When the meeting is over, they return to their desk and help complete the list of actions. They are a doer, not a talker.

The person who talks the loudest and the most in the meeting is not the smartest. They are drowning out the solutions of the people who do the work.

It’s okay to sit in silence. It doesn’t make you a loser; it makes you bright.

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗽.
Of course, you’ll be asked to speak about a topic. You can’t say no, or do hand signals.

The idea is to speak with as few words as possible and make your point. Then, know when to shut up once you’ve said what you need to say in the shortest amount of time possible.

Knowing when not to talk is an art.

You can hear the unspoken people if you can learn to shut up at the correct times. You can also listen to what is not being said.

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻.
To shut up is to listen.
To listen is to change your life.

Why? When you listen, you learn.
When you listen, people then assume you know what you’re doing. And guess what? You will see what you’re doing if you hear.If you listen, you’ll learn things they can never teach you in a prestigious university.

𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗶𝘀𝗲.
My aim in meetings now is to be the least loud person in the room. There is so much hot air and noise in discussions that achieves nothing. Your desire to be heard in meetings could be stopping your learning.

Quiet people change the world because they hear things others don’t.

Source: Tim Denning

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