Lady Slidewhistle's Society Papers

16/02/2024

Dearest Readers,
It appears that I have been neglecting you in the Online Realm, an oversight that I assure you I intend to correct going forward.
The third weekend of our festival is dedicated to those who pillage and plunder and drink with the best of them: Vikings! The fur-clad rabble are sure to make port any moment, bringing with them the promise of feasts and songs and epic tales of trolls and dragons, and this author is determined not to miss a moment of the gossip that is sure to flow as freely as the mead.
In other news, Sir Thomas has informed me that there are those among you who have been attempting to contact me through the Suggestion Box. I am pleased to hear news of this, and surprised that one of you has not yet discovered the location of the Box. If you should like to leave me a tidbit of news or a drop of scandal, my Suggestion Box is located on the outside of the Kimmendale Promenade arch, on the shady lane end of the Promenade, near the Village Hall. I eagerly await news of the goings-on I may not be privy to, and look forward to experiencing the festivities that this weekend of adventure may bring.
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

07/04/2023

Dearest Readers,
Alas, the festival season has ended, and we are parted once more. The Royal Court has proceeded on to their next holding and the gentle villagers of Kimmendale have packed up their tents and pavilions and returned to their respective abodes. Yet, my friends, the gossip never quietens, and you can be assured that I am alert to your goings-on. Take care, dear readers, or you may yet find yourself pinned to the point of my pen next year - or perhaps even sooner.
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

24/03/2023

Dearest Readers,
The final weekend of our festival is upon us, and the time has come to reflect on all that has transpired in the past weeks. As we journey through the looking glass one last time, let us not be led astray by White Rabbits or waylaid by mischievous milliners.
Speaking of being waylaid, I appear to have been negligent in my promises over my last two publications. I guaranteed that I would eliminate one person per week from suspicion of being this author, and I have been so swept up in our village's many small dramas and intrigues that I have failed to do so in the last two issues of my Society Papers. Allow me to remedy this oversight here: this author is not Mistress Popinjay, for although she has great access to high-profile figures and is mobile throughout the village, the chatelaine is far too occupied with the more pressing matters of organizing the household of our beloved King Robert and Queen Beatrice. Additionally I will also eliminate Cario Cassata, the rakish young Knave of Hearts, who is far too vainglorious and ineffectual, barely glancing up from his own reflection to notice the goings-on in Kimmendale.
Hopefully these revelations will keep you satisfied until my final issue is released this weekend. What else could be left to uncover? Perhaps the better question is, what else could you, dear reader, possibly have left to hide?
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

17/03/2023

Dearest Readers,
The Guinness - and the gossip - shall certainly flow this weekend, and many will be caught in the torrent. Loose lips sink ships, or so they say, and Kimmendale's lips have been loosened by too many shots of celebratory whiskey. What has Aunt Clara been up to in her hovel, bent over her workbench? And what of the recent adventures of Music the Gathering? You'll simply have to read this weekend's issue to find out...
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

10/03/2023

Dearest Readers,
It has been said that when pirates count their b***y they become mere thieves. Let it not be said of Kimmendale's many pirates that they are anything but liberal with both plunder and porter. Drink up, me hearties, and a very jolly pirate weekend to you all!
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

03/03/2023

Dearest readers,
Heroes and Villains are set to descend upon Kimmendale this weekend! In response, Lord Mayor Percival has called in reinforcements to keep the village from weathering too much damage... But can Lady Nightshade and Mistress Lavender keep their charlatans and champions in check? Or will the Battle of Kimmendale lead to wanton destruction wrought by darlings and desperados alike? Only my Society Papers will have the latest developments!
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

18/02/2023

Dearest Readers,
Time Travelers and Steampunk Adventurers will abound this weekend... but can the fragile fabric of our dear Kimmendale handle its own private affairs, much less the influx of intergalactic visitors? I fear there are grave misdeeds afoot, my friends, misdeeds that no sonic screwdriver can correct. Look out for my Society Papers this weekend, detailing all the scandals you thought you could conceal from me.
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

10/02/2023

Dearest Readers,
As we enter the second weekend of our beloved Festival, I would encourage you to gird your loins and ready yourself for battle against foes most fearsome: Barbarians and Dragons are expected to descend upon Kimmendale, with destructive force comparable to even the most belligerent of drunken patrons who has been denied further service at one of our many fine drinking establishments. Let us hope that our sure savior, Duke Catherine Cornwallis, can fend off the invaders... and keep the lush Sir Robin Drake from falling too deep in his cups in an attempt to keep up with his newfound Viking cohorts.
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

04/02/2023

Dearest Beloved Readers,
The opening day of the 31st Annual Florida Renaissance Festival is upon us! It is with great gladness in my heart that after nearly a year apart we will all be joining together once again for eating, drinking, and the making of merriment. Of course, no festival season is complete without a bit of scandal, and so before the first cannon sounds let us revisit some of the tastiest tattle and most meretricious morsels of last season. Follow the link to read all of last year's issues of my infamous Society Papers, and keep a sharp eye out for new weekly editions as the season progresses. As always, I remain,
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle

Lady Slidewhistle’s Society Papers Dearest reader, Our fair hamlet is positively abuzz, overflowing with gossip that has pent up since we last met, nearly two years hence. Despite the misfortune and bad airs that kept us apart last season, I have taken this opportunity to step into the informat...

28/03/2022

How quickly our little village disappears after the festival season ends! Already some of our dear friends have arrived safely in their next destination, but that does not preclude them from mention. Surely this author was not the only person that noticed how quickly the Professors Argentius and Oriana Incantus fled Kimmendale. Could it possibly be because the allegations are true? Have they been discovered to be dark wizards, willing to engage in the most dishonorable and horrific of magics? It appears that our beloved village was spared the consequences of their success, but the true question is how long this period of respite might last. Of course, after the shocking revelations about our dear Lord Mayor on the last day of our festival, one must also wonder if he was not also the director of this plot as well...
It seems trouble is always brewing, dear friends. We must be watchful of ourselves and each other... and stay alert for evil emanations!

25/03/2022

Dearest readers,
Welcome to the Page dedicated specifically to my famous Society Papers. It is here that we may interact with the other residents of our fair village, as well as our patrons, the public, and others who may have an interest in the seamy underbelly and salacious goings-on in the Village of Kimmendale. Be warned, my friends: there is no story too scandalous, no narrative too sordid, and no scenario too unlikely to be reported here.
Your Humble Servant,
Lady Slidewhistle