InfinitePolyam

28/11/2024

No matter who you are spending your day with or your dynamics, I see you!

Today, I am cooking for my husband and 10yo daughter and spending the day with them. Tomorrow, I have to work, but my partner will come over that evening and we will have a mix of more cooking and leftovers.

How are you spending your day?

24/11/2024

It’s sort of ok to do I guess but not when you have kids omg. I could never!

23/11/2024

They all end in disaster!

07/08/2024

I get asked a LOT of questions and I love answering them! I love answering questions that are asked in good faith and for understanding. I do have to consider the privacy of my partners, exes, metas, etc so I don’t answer some. I don’t typically respond to questions that are not asked in good faith unless I’m choosing to have fun with the answer.

Polyamorous people are often asked questions as if we’ve never even remotely considered scenarios or how we’d handle them. Do you really think we don’t have conversations with partners?

“But what if you...” - We’d talk about it

“Have you considered what would happen if...” -yep we’ve already talked about it

“What would you do in the case of…” -uh huh talked about that one too

“Ok but…” - that one’s not even a concern wtf

I find most of those types of questions I’m asked are preloaded with assumptions that don’t even apply to me. And for the ones that do apply, they’re also phrased in a way of assuming that I’m too immature to have thought about those things.

This varies for everyone, but I get asked most about kids or prevention, finances, and breakups. I can easily tell if a question is asked in good faith for understanding or if it’s asked as judgement.

Then they wonder why I don’t answer their nonsense.

05/08/2024

Credit to .to.luna_ on Threads

personally a large part of understanding polyamory was recognizing that relationships don’t have to be romantic or sexual to be just as significant

04/08/2024

Why are we standing in front of these abandoned and falling apart buildings? My husband, Brandon and I are visiting family in our hometown and we went back to the places we met- a pawn shop and a bike shop. Ironically, the businesses on the sign at the time had nothing to do with how we met. Both places regularly had local bands play shows. Brandon says they were like a mullet - business in the front, party in the back.

We first met at the pawn shop, but didn’t really know one another. I mostly just knew who he was and that he was the drummer for the band, Deprivation. The bike shop (that I don’t believe ever sold a bike) had maybe 5 bicycles inside, but was essentially a party house ran by a classmate, my friend Steve. I was 17 when I started going to these shows, telling my mom I was spending the night with my best friend Nancy. My mom wouldn’t have approved of me being there.

Anyways, Brandon and I started talking at the bike shop and here we are 23 years later still talking one another’s heads off. Missing is a picture in front of the now closed down Applebees where we had our first date. So these ugly buildings are part of our “love story” and one that’s cheesy and weird.

Photo credit to our 10yo who just wanted to hurry and get back in the car 🤣

27/07/2024

Happy 16th wedding anniversary to Brandon and I! Our wedding anniversary is a smaller thing, with our dating anniversary as our true anniversary. But I guess society says we’re supposed to celebrate so tell us happy anniversary lol!

We’re on a yearly small vacation we take to the beach with long time friends and their kids, plus our child. Our beach vacation and planned day at the water park got changed up due to lots of storms so yay for indoor plans!

21/07/2024

Most of the polycule got together for a night out to an interactive art display. Double yay for all of our efforts in what I always say takes a ton of logistical planning and for our night out happening during the week of visibility for non-monogamy as that part wasn’t planned. We had a lot of fun!

10/07/2024

I’m seeing a slow change in the definition of polyamory. I would support this IF it was coming from polyamorous people, but the definition change seems to be coming from those who aren’t polyamorous and causing confusion to those newer to polyamory as well.

Polyamory is NOT the umbrella term for all non monogamy. Non monogamy is the umbrella term.

Polyamory is NOT a new term for swinging. They don’t mean the same thing. They are 2 different forms of non monogamy with some community overlap.

Language does change over time, but when this change is coming from news articles full of inaccuracies and social media posts from people who “knew some poly people,” why should we change our language to fit this? I’ve been told so many times I’m not polyamorous because everyone isn’t dating everyone. This is false. I’m not changing my label based on others’ understanding of polyamory.

05/07/2024

It’s a common belief that many men want to be polyamorous. Based on my observations as a polyamorous woman who’s not at all new to this or to creating content, what more men actually want is control,it’s not about monogamy or polyamory. 95% of the time I get a comment slu- shaming me or going off in some capacity of my lack of respect, it’s from someone appearing to be a man. Men don’t like that I’m not being controlled by a male partner. It threatens them even when they aren’t the one dating me.

Don’t be fooled by “poly” men either. They will use this label as an element of control disguised as polyamory. Many have assumptions of what polyamory is based on them. There are many amazing polyamorous men and when we step back and listen, there’s a huge difference in the ways in which the two groups speak/their actions and control is a major dividing line. Polyamory in cishet men isn’t as common as some think, and some get big mad when a woman is polyamorous because patriarchy 🤷‍♀️

25/06/2024

Myself and several other awesome people are mentioned in this article. As a polyamory content creator, I get approached by a lot of journalists and I am cautious in who I respond to. This journalist did a great job!

https://www.allure.com/story/what-is-a-polycule?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAab47SZC6BCETth5LN1HuN6VI6rYvtjEE0VXqJVs1fXSk69KZchULOZla_I_aem_7dyIdgpdeYKEfjoCk66Obg

Everything you need to know about this particularly buzzy form of polyamory.

24/06/2024

Polyamory, but because you like finding surprise fresh leftovers in the fridge.

Credit to on threads

14/06/2024

I posted this recently and I’m reposting today as I’m seeing a few other colleagues reposting some of their relevant prior posts.

This isn’t the first time there’s a conversation about polyamory being q***r, nor will it be the last. I’ve become more outspoken on topics surrounding a better understanding of polyamory and I will continue to speak up. We don’t proceed forward through silence.

Polyamory is Q***r

Polyamory is far more about self than how many relationships one has. To define polyamory as merely a relationship style and as something that cannot be an identity is the same rhetoric that’s been pushed to strip away identities of other q***r people.

Polyamorous people are oppressed and discriminated against in many places and in many ways.

Polyamory does not officially fall under the LQBTQIA+ umbrella and has no legal protections in most places. Oppression and discrimination of polyamorous people is oppression and discrimination of those who identify as LGBTQIA+.

How? According to a 2023 community survey of Non- Monogamous individuals organized by OPEN, LGBTQ individuals were more likely to report experiences of stigma and discrimination than cisgendered or heterosexual individuals, demonstrating the compounding harm that can come with multiple marginalized identities. Roughly 60% of respondents identified with a sexual orientation that is not heterosexual and 13.9% of respondents identified as trans, non-binary, or genderq***r.

05/06/2024

Finally off work after a longer than normal day. Overtime is so rarely offered and what I make in overtime this week will be given in support to as myself along with 23 other non monogamous creators will be educating for a good cause! 🍉

This is happening on June 15 so register now. Everyone with a ticket will get a copy of the recording so it’s ok if you can’t make the live event. This event will be hosted by

I’ll be discussing how polyamory has evolved for me over the last 20+ years

L!NK !N B!O with more information

Comment if you’ll be there!

02/06/2024

This may resonate with some. Much that I post is based on my own experiences or my observations of others, but this is me literally just sharing my own thoughts and feelings. I’m incredibly outspoken and have only gotten louder as I hear more invalidating conversations, both online and in my personal life.

Y’all I didn’t even tell my best friend since childhood that I had an open relationship (I didn’t know the word polyamory back then) for YEARS and she was the first to know outside of those I dated. She was amazing and still is!

Coming out to others has been a bumpy road and the experience with my mother was on the verge of me cutting off contact due to this alone. That has since improved greatly after a longgggg talk which I won’t dive deeper into publicly.

I know all of this looks different for everyone and this is only me talking about me. I think as I’ve better healed, I reflect more on how much BS I put up with, especially with friends in the past that I allowed to continue talking to me however they wanted. I know I have more healing left because conversations can easily trigger me. The reality is I may not ever truly heal from all and I’m ok with knowing this.

If you ever wonder why I’m so outspoken on polyamory and better acceptance and understanding, it’s because I don’t want others in the future going through some of what I went through. Had I come out to far more people in my life 20 years ago instead of waiting for so long, I can’t even imagine how much worse it could have been for me. Not likely violence, but maybe an even greater toll on my mental health and even more loss of friends. Or possibly my growth and acceptance would have come sooner, who knows. I can’t change the past.

It’s not cool to invalidate the experiences of others. Me being chronically online means I see a lot of these conversations. They hurt, but have also made me even louder. 📣💪

***r

30/05/2024

Why is romantic love limited, but other forms of love (family, kids, friendships, etc) seem to be in unlimited supply? Maybe, just maybe that same unlimited supply could be applied to romantic love too?

Wild concept? It’s ok to only have the time and energy capacity to give a certain amount, but I do wonder why there’s a limit that society as a whole places on only one form of love as different from other love. Different types of love are still love.

30/05/2024

Come to POLY4PALY, a charity event where 17 (and counting) non-monogamous creators share our top tips, personal stories, and life lessons from our polyamorous journeys for a common cause. It’s pay-what-you-can, all ticket holders get a recording.

I will be speaking on how polyamory has evolved over time for me during the last 20+ years I have been practicing.

More info in the event description!

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/poly4paly-tickets-915910742687?aff=oddtdtcreator&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR2Cr9NNfwxtVSjWtG8of0_jVPqvMbOF6QgKcxVZC1z_5ejj9GpaeR1__VY_aem_AY8X9IHMO4FYj9ibTYVU1nmLl8ZBcFxTEpNNdIXllnEwGAGxbCyurAAiC_9Bsyhk2sOM9w0zr0jxSDM20z8_SObp

Currently confirmed speakers are:





love








***ringsex
and myself

21/05/2024

This isn’t the first time there’s a conversation about polyamory being q***r, nor will it be the last. I’ve become more outspoken on topics surrounding a better understanding of polyamory and I will continue to speak up. We don’t proceed forward through silence.

Polyamory is Q***r

Polyamory is far more about self than how many relationships one has. To define polyamory as merely a relationship style and as something that cannot be an identity is the same rhetoric that’s been pushed to strip away identities of other q***r people.

Polyamorous people are oppressed and discriminated against in many places and in many ways.

Polyamory does not officially fall under the LQBTQIA+ umbrella and has no legal protections in most places. Oppression and discrimination of polyamorous people is oppression and discrimination of those who identify as LGBTQIA+.

How? According to a 2023 community survey of Non- Monogamous individuals organized by OPEN, LGBTQ individuals were more likely to report experiences of stigma and discrimination than cisgendered or heterosexual individuals, demonstrating the compounding harm that can come with multiple marginalized identities. Roughly 60% of respondents identified with a sexual orientation that is not heterosexual and 13.9% of respondents identified as trans, non-binary, or genderq***r.