28/07/2021
I just came across this statement: āCircumstances can alter our moods, but they cannot fix our attitudesā¦ā {Credit: Feminine Not Feminist IG}
The thread I was reading was basically saying that when we change our circumstances, it may allow for some areas in our lives to change mentally or emotionally, but eventually our authentic characteristics will seep out.
As women and (mostly) emotional beings, we think a change in what we do, where we work, what we look like, or even how we present ourselves will āfix/changeā us - and for the better.
The issue never lies in the outward circumstance or situation - itās always about the position of the heart and the renewal - or lack thereof - of the mind.
The fact is that our real selves come out when we arenāt getting our way ā we like to pretend things are fine and we may even be able to fool a few people, but deep down we know our hearts, we know what they are feeling, and we know that, maybe just maybe, we are being brats in this moment.
To be honest, the three most prominent attitudes that most women take on (& I would know because I have been ALL three at some point in my journey) are that of:
ā¢The Victim Attitude
ā¢The Critical Attitude
ā¢The Independent Attitude
The Victim Attitude causes us to have a mindset that tells us we are not worthy of Godās sonship and we have to earn all that we do. It gives us a orphan mentality and causes us to maintain a āWoe is meā attitude with a constant need for attention and affirmation - Tell me Iām okay. Tell me God is there. Tell me what I have chosen not to believe. Itās a thought process that we are the black sheep, the red-headed stepchild, the rejected one, the one born on the wrong side of the tracks - which is contrary to the Word of God.
Being critical makes one absolutely miserable. We are all familiar with the phrase āMisery loves companyā, arenāt we? Well, itās true - except they donāt want joyful or hopeful company. They want down in the ditch friends, finding people to dwell in the dirt with them or anyone who is willing to come down to their level. The tricky part with this one is that not all miserable people fit the āmiserable moldā - Iāve met many miserable people who APPEAR bubbly, kind, and your BFF when in actuality, they are unhappy. The joy of the Lord is not their strength. Their lives are roller coasters of very little highs and a lot of lows. They can always find something wrong and they often feel entitled. Biblically, the only critical ones were the Pharisees and they were so miserable, they killed the Messiah because He WAS the Good News.
The last one is the independent one - the one who can do it all, has it all together, and the one who doesnāt need anyone. Although I fully believe in being a woman with the capability to handle and do all types of things and situations, the bottom line is that God never created us to be loners, isolated, or people who need to prove anything. Iām all for strong women. Iām all for women leaders. Iām all for women breaking glass ceilings or what notā¦BUT, I am not for us being independent to the point where we feel our capabilities overpower those of the Almighty. He is the strength through which we do all things. Heās the reason we are able to rise above, compete in the marketplace, and quality for our positions we desire. An independent spirit insists they donāt need anyone, have a hard time taking any direction or help, often use defense mechanisms, and view help as a weakness.
The fact is - if we step back and evaluate whatās going on in our lives, we may find that we have taken on one of these attitudes (or maybe not). Again, Iām not saying these are applicable to all women - but I am saying I have had to identify and deal with each one when circumstances have revealed not just my moods, but my deep seated attitudes I allowed to have preeminence in my life. I have to keep upgrading my relationship with Abba and apply His revelation to my life to keep these things out. I donāt ābattleā them. Iāve put them behind me. They are against His Word. I move forward and make all adjustments and changes Holy Spirit says to.
My hope for you today is to live your life open to hearing Holy Spirit and to move back those things that may hold you back. May Yahwehās goodness overflow in youā¦
āš¼- LB