Christopher A. Smith, the Unpublished Campy Writer

05/11/2023

Stephen King's The Stand or Robert McCammon's Swan Song, for the better book? I'd throw myself into the running, if I had written an apocalyptic novel, but then I'd easily win.

03/11/2023

This is one of the finest Thanksgiving-themed works or art, and I commend it for its practical effects, acting, and excellent writing. The only person who could have done it better is me. I just haven't yet :p

02/11/2023

After much consideration, I have finally figured out what I will be writing next:

The Three Wolves (working title), which will feature three unrelated werewolf-themed novellas -

The Mad, Mad, Mad Dr. Schweigert: This will be about an infuriated, chain-smoking, Christianity-hating horror obsessed fan, who becomes upset that Hollywood hasn't released a single good, original werewolf scene, and hates that practical-effect transformation scenes are no longer a thing. Because of this, he creates within his secret lab a werewolf, who he then releases upon the unsuspecting nearby town, to show Hollywood how its done. Commence plenty of gore.

The Michigan Dogman: Sightings of the Michigan dogman have dwindled down, to the point they have become obsolete. But then, during the Pandemic of Unknown Origins, the Michigan governor enacts a strict curfew. Any caught out after eight PM find themselves face-to-face with the henchwolf of the power-hungry governor. And any victims, they count as Covid deaths. Commence plenty of Libertarian propaganda and campy gore.

Abraham Diesel and The Werewolf of Snake Island: The Miller High-Life drinking, Camel-smoking archeologist Abraham Diesel is hired to bring a small crew onto Snake Island, where an earthquake revealed a secret bunker created by N***s. There, believed to be hidden is the Holy Grail...but unfortunately, it's guarded by thousands of golden lanceheads and the most hungry of werewolves.

30/10/2023

I haven't been using this page too much, of late, but I want to get back into it. And I figured I'd share any tips I come across, as well as provide my commentary.

Here are some good points for writing characters, though, I'd go on to say that you should always make your character somebody you want to hang out with for a year plus. I spent far too many years trying to make badass characters, or too serious of characters, but they just weren't somebody I would want to accompany on a journey. But with Crimson Dawn, I decided to make it more fun by having the likeable jocky, cocky, football player, the du***ss rocker who is always getting into trouble but doesn't care, and the girl who prides herself on her intellect and has no respect for the previous two. The dynamic pushes the jock to try harder, and the rocker to be more of a du***ss, all while trying to save the school from Co**ie vampires.

In any good novel, a writer creates fictional characters by giving them goals, throwing obstacles in their way, and creating conflict. Writers connect a reader to a story by making characters relatable. Character development is one of the literary terms writers hear a lot, but it’s an essential el...

29/10/2023

Progress Update: I am over halfway through editing Crimson Dawn (working title; I've been told the name sucks, no matter how clever I think it is), so I am trying to think of what ideas to work on for my next project.

Which one is your favorite!?

1. Abraham Diesel, a High-Life drinking archeologist, travels to find the Holy Grail, which is guarded by a werewolf!

2. The Mad, Mad, Mad Dr. Schweigert, which is about a chain-smoking, half-crazed man who is so mad that there hasn't been a good monster movie that he decides to make Frankenclops, a Frankenstein Cyclops, and then releases it upon a town!

3. An adventure of El Gato, the swashbuckling hero who is a lord by day and The Gato at night; defending us all from tyranny!

4. The Charred Knight, in which a knight tortured and burned by the Ottomans while fighting in the crusades escapes, breaks into cathedrals across Christendom, and constructs armor and weapons from the relics of the Saints. His sword is the femur bone of Saint Peter, tipped with the nails used to crucify Christ. His armor, the hardened bones of saints, his dagger the splintered ribs of somebody else. Then he returns to the Holy Land to fight off the vampires that the Ottomans had summoned from Hell, and fights the final boss atop the Great Pyramid!

5. A New York, atmospheric horror novel. An author's grandparents pass away, so he goes there to finish his novel only to slowly, and accidentally, uncover the truth of his grandparents. They formed a machine that works hand-in-hand with soul sleep, keeping souls alive outside of God's will, and using them for selfish gains!

6. Demons of Sanitary Street. You already know this one :P

19/04/2023

Act One of Crimson Dawn is edited to the best of my ability; just 378 more pages to go!

Once this is finished, I am thinking I'm going to adjust gears to a slasher ghost story, because I feel like those two genres need to collide into a beautiful canvas of gore!

09/03/2023

I've been rewriting this same chapter for a week and a half now, of Crimson Dawn, unable to get it right. I think I need a vacation!

09/12/2022

Well folks, today your most favorite and badass [unpublished and unproven] author is putting aside the werewolf story and returning to Crimson Dawn: A Tale of American Exceptionalism.

It's time to edit it one last time, and then go from there on my quest to produce "high-quality" American literature about how awesome America is, and how much co**ie vampires suck!

26/11/2022

Abraham Diesel, the best archeologist of all time, wishes you a wonderful holiday season!

10/11/2022

I'm loving to write about Abraham Diesel, the archeologist who is willing to brave anything to get a private collector priceless artifacts!

But we'll just have to wait and see how he does against werewolves!

09/11/2022

I'm hoping this link works, but if anybody wants to read the prologue of my next work and provide praise (no criticism; otherwise I'll have my brother beat you up!), you can :-)

It's the first part of my Abraham Diesel story, in which the chain-smoking, Miller High-Life drinking archeologist investigates the Curse on Snake Island!

Access Google Docs with a personal Google account or Google Workspace account (for business use).

08/11/2022

02/11/2022

Quite shortly, the archeologist Abraham Diesel will be putting together a crew to smuggle Golden Lancehead vipers off of Snake Island! From there he can sell them on the black market for ten to twenty thousand a piece!

However, he needs to hire a crew to help! What are the names and occupations of his crew!?

(By posting on this you are giving up all rights to the names or occupations, and understand if Chris ever publishes this work that you're not being paid a cent.)

19/10/2022

Just a reminder to sign up for Chris Smith's ChrisSmith Letter! This year is supposed to be the best of them all! (Or the worst! You decide!)

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13/10/2022

Since I wrote my vampire novel, I now think it appropriate to do a werewolf one!

I just need to come up with an awesome origin story for a werewolf who hunts the Mayan ruins!

15/09/2022

For anybody interested, I wrote a few unedited chapters for a new project.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts! Also, I'm still looking for some people willing to read through Crimson Dawn!

Chapter One The baseball cap displaying the sigil which represented John Deere tractors was upon Abraham Diesel's head, and a cigarette hung from his salt-stained lips while he gazed upon the island off of Sao Paulo from the seafaring vessel designed for a crew of no more than ten. Eleven were ...

25/08/2022

Me: I'm going to write a young adult horror novel, based on an idea I've had stirring around in my head for years.

*writes first chapter

Me: Perhaps it'll be for adults, after all!

15/08/2022

I suppose it's time to start work on Phillip the Heroic Hamster, a sequel to the bestselling (as in, sold like two copies) The Fellowship of the Princess.

It shall include plenty of action, adventure, magic, airships, love, and good, old-fashioned fart jokes!

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This is expected to be rated PG, whereas the now-finished Crimson Dawn is definitely PG-13. And once Phillip's adventure is done it's time for a novel with a hard 'R' rating!

06/08/2022

It's 11:33 p.m. on a Friday night, and I am here to tell you that over 81K words later, Crimson Dawn's rough draft is finally finished.

The first two acts have been edited once, with the third act being written for the first time (and still needs to be revised), but damn...I am taking a moment to be proud of this accomplishment.

If you'd like to be sent a PDF of it, to read through to help point out areas that need improvement, or where a scene doesn't make sense, or where character development doesn't seem to fit, I'd really appreciate that. Just send me a private message on my main page.

27/07/2022

The Tale of Wiley Arcana - Part One (a short, irrelevant, unedited story)

Once upon a time, in the 666 Acre Woods, lived a demon by the name of Wiley Arcana. He was not known for being the scariest demon, nor the most evil. If anything, he was just an everyday ordinary demon who dabbled in telling kids to disobey their parents, or informing men at the bar to order that extra pitcher of beer since their wife would be mad at them anyway, or telling women to ask their husband's opinion for where to eat dinner at but then shoot down every suggestion he provides.

Though, as delightful as seeing the arguments that followed his influence, he just wasn't feeling it that day. Wiley was bored of doing his day-to-day job, and wondering if there was more to a demon's life than just causing petty feuds. Some demons got to possess humans, and turning them all crazy-like. Other demons got to join the devil in plans to take over the world, and stand against the divine angels flying around in Heaven who wanted everybody to be all goody-two-shoes. And other demons were able to influence humans enough to cause world wars, starvation, and years-long conflicts. Wiley only made husband and wife angry at each other for a few nights, though he did have a few divorces that he had caused which were proudly on his resume. But there had to be more!

Therefore, Wiley determined it was time to set out on a soul-searching trip. He tied a bag to a stick, with the bag containing brimstone sticks for a snack and bottles of lava to quench his thirst, and with that he set off being unsure of all the adventures that lay ahead.

To be continued...

20/07/2022

Holy crap. Wrote nearly 4k words tonight!

I am more excited than anybody to see how this thing ends! (No, as the author, I am not entirely sure how it will end. I have an idea of the direction, but that's about it.)

18/07/2022

Who is your favorite author, and why?

17/07/2022

Crimson Dawn has been a blessing and a curse. When I first started writing it, I wrote a quick short story to get the idea out of my head; Red Dawn, but with co**ie vampires (a dumb, but fun idea)! Yet, it seemed a lot was missing, and so I decided to rewrite the entire thing into a novella (another one I'd write, or half write, and discard; the story of my writing "career").

Sometime during Covid, I quit writing it; figuring it would be another work I didn't finish, and forgot about. However, when I'd wake up in the morning, or sometimes go to bed at night, I'd drift back to it; wondering exactly how it'd end.

So, I finally decided to read through and edit it. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would, and am now working towards the ending. However, the damn thing keeps getting longer than I expected. I thought it originally to be a short story, then a novella, then a short novel, and now it's well on its way to being 75-80k words.

But, I wouldn't have persevered if not for encouragement from several friends, who have told me to keep going. I can't wait to find out what happens, and see how All-American students defeat an entire Communist army.

03/07/2022

I want to wish you a Co**ie-Vampire-Free Happy Independence Day!

30/06/2022

Crimson Dawn could easily be a best-seller once I'm finished with it...if all of you buy 100,000 copies.

28/06/2022

If I ever make it big (ie, more than five readers), I want everybody to know that I will never write a series. After all, I never want to be in GRR Martin's situation where the whole world hates me for being lazy at my job :)

27/06/2022

For years, I really wanted to write fiction (primarily horror) directed towards adults. It took many trips around the sun to accept that with my very low maturity level that I am better at amusing young adults :-)

Anyway, for the actual update, I'm over 53,000 words into Crimson Dawn. Most of it is now edited (once), and I am working on writing the climax. It's fairly exiting stuff!

Anyway, the next chapter is the bathroom scene. There, near the toilets, they'll find their courage to stand up against the threat of Co**ie vampires! (Something you can't always pull off in fiction oriented towards adults.)