Football yarns (2025)

25/10/2023

FIFA President wey im name na Gianni Infantino bin go watch Cristiano Ronaldo match yesterday.

Guess what?🤔

Ororo score

14/08/2023

Apart from the 86.4 million pounds a year salary (1.7 million per week) wey Al Hilal dey plan to dey pay Neymar, we don dey hear now say dem go also nak am one private jet wey him go dey use free of charge anytime him want. Dem go buy one full mansion for am to dey live inside with plenty servants wey go dey everything from serving food to flushing toilet after Neymar s**t finish. Then dem go dey nak am bonus of 80,000 euros whenever the club win match, whether him score or not or whether him play or not, as long as dem win, Baba go cash out. Then finally, if Neymar make any post for Facebook, Twitter or Instagram wey dey in support of Saudi Arabia as a country, da wan na 500,000 euros straight to him aza. So if Neymar wan flex now, make him just make one Saudi Arabia post and fiam, alert don enter instantly.

My people na the kind soft life wey Neymar wey grow up for face-me-I-face-you dey go live for Saudi be dis. My people how una see dis kind uncommon grace wey dey follow dis bobo so?

13/08/2023

Chelsea and Liverpool don share one plate of draw soup after dem play 1-1 draw for dem first EPL match of the season wey shele for Stamford Bridge.

Na Liverpool open ground when Mo Salah use one wucked 5G pass take locate Luis Diaz to use one bad sliding take put the ball inside net to make am 1-0. Mo Salah tink say him don score Liverpool second goal only for VAR to cancel the goal. Chelsea boys wake up from there and na Axel Disasi equalise for Chelsea after the bobo use him last leg take convert make am 1-1 inside first half to make sure say him don first Mudryk score Premier League goal. Immediately after dat naim Chilwell nak the ball inside net only for VAR to cancel the goal. Second half tie wrapper but in the end both teams enjoy dem draw soup well.

My people how una see dis match wey dis two clubs play so?

01/08/2023

قريباً لكل من قاال آمين🤍🫂🤲

01/08/2023

My people no be small gbege shele inside Argentina league after fans of Velez Sarsfield wey be the club of former Atletico Madrid skippo, Diego Godin attack dem own players with guns and akara bomb after dem lose one important match.

According to the tory, the match suppose to be Godin last match for the club yet dem go lose 1-0 to one of dem bitter rivals, Huracan. Na diswan pain the fans well well sotay when the players return to dem training ground to carry dem motor begin go house naim the fans drive dem own hilux too come block dem o. According to the players, the fans drive dem hilux with speed take block the players cars like DSS. Na so dis DSS fans begin jump down from the hilux dey c**k gun begin threaten the players say if you move, I move you straight to hell. One of the players wey wan try him papa, immediately him move na so dem use yansh of gun flog am for head burs. Another wan wey wan match carbon dem tell am say if e try am dem go shoot all him leg and e no go ever play ball again. Before we know wetin dey sop dis DSS fans don begin kpokpo the players dey punch and kick and slap dem while still pointing the gun for dem face. Some of the players sef collect frog jump while others pick pin. But in the end dem no shoot anybody as the players cooperate chop dem beating like sacrificial lamb. When the fans taya to beat and punish the players, dem finally release dem make dem dey go house.

My people how una see dis kind beating wey Diego Godin and him teammates collect for street after collecting the first one for pitch?

21/07/2023

My people no be small sontin shele for Europa League qualifier after the keeper of one club score one sweet unbelievable own goal to take help dem opponents equalize 1-1.

According to the matter, na when Diddeleng of Luxembourg dey lead St Patrick Athletics of Ireland 1-0 naim dem keeper, Didier Deprez decide to let village people use am against him own club. Na one simple up ball dem play towards 18 yard box when the keeper rush come outside to head the ball comot. We not know weda na ogbanje abi na coconut head abi e get nut wey lose for the keeper head because instead of to head the ball out, keeper head the ball back to him own post and straight inside net to help St Patrick equalize 1-1. Na diswan make many people begin wonder weda na jazz dem do the keeper from village because dis kind own goal wey him score, no be ordinary eyes him take run am.

My people how una see dis kind spiritual own goal wey dis bobo score so?

21/07/2023

Chelsea loan flop, João Félix don come outside knee down for ground dey beg Barcelona to come sign am say: Walai talai sumobinlai the only club wey I wish to play for now na Barcelona. In fact if Barca toast me “hi angel”, I go dump Atletico Madrid pack all my kaya straight go move in with Barcelona. Everybody know say even before I join Atletico na Barcelona be my first choice. Na Barcelona dey my heart and my mind but Atletico carry sugar daddy money come toast me and I no fit reject da kind funds wey dem credit me. But now my eyes don clear and I wan return to my first true love wey be Barca. Because na right from when I still be small pikin naim I don dey dream of playing for Barcelona and right now I dey fast and pray make Barcelona ask me to come play for dem because if dem mistakenly tell me hello, nwanne sope otilor. Me I don waka.

My people Felix don dey toast Barca to come toast am and e be like say Atletico people no like am at all sotay fans don go vandalize the bobo signboard for the stadium. But how una see dis kind beggy-beggy from dis player so?

21/07/2023

Breaking: Inter Milan don use vex tell Chelsea say dem no go sign their pikin again after the bobo follow back go dey negotiate with Juventus.

Inter Milan plan na to sign Lukaku even if na to borrow money dem go borrow just to make sure say Lukaku go play for dem next season but dem later change mind after dem hear say Lukaku go dey follow back dey negotiate with Juventus.

Inter Milan bin tell Chelsea say dem go pay €35m plus €5m add ons for Lukaku while Juventus say dem go pay €37.5m plus €2.5m add ons naso Lukaku leave Inter follow back yard go dey follow Juventus talk.

As it stands, Inter Milan say dem no go buy again make Chelsea find another buyer because this one wey Lukaku don dey do back yard business dem don dey fear make Lukaku no go sell one of their players without their consent.

Lukaku go return to Chelsea on Monday because Inter Milan don already pack e bags e fit even sleep for neighbor house today and tomorrow because gateman no allow enter San Siro.

Although Chelsea never talk whether e go follow dem go play pre-season

Chelsea fans abeg wetin Lakaka do Inter Milan e good?

21/07/2023

Bayern Munich use anger take enter match as dem hammer one Division 9 club 27-0 for dem friendly wey shele last night. Bayern no even allow the poor club breeeth because na for the third minute dem begin score, by 10th minute scores na 3-0, and by the end of first half dem dey win 18-0. The poor guys later pick form for second half wey make Bayern score only 9 goals which is like half of the goals wey dem score for first half. Musiala, Tel and Manchester United rejectee, Sabitzer score 5 goals each. Gnabry score 3 goals while the rest score 1 goal each, including Upamecano wey be central defender.

05/07/2023

My people no be small sontin shele inside Brazilian league because one striker wey dey play for Corinthians wey dem dey call Luan, we don dey hear say Corinthians fans attack am for him hotel room, kpokpo all him body wotorwotor, and threaten am to pack him bag and baggages waka leave dem club forever and ever.

According to the tory, Luan just dey enjoy himself with one correct Brazilian sambatic olosho inside all dis cheap cheap roadside hotel wey dem dey call motel when the fans of him own club, Corinthians pack demsef come there. The fans pursue security comot, ask receptionist to show dem where Luan dey lodge before breaking the door wey dem take enter Luan room. Luan try to escape but dem catch am begin kpokpo all him face like Mike Tyson. As dem dey kpokpo him face others dey plank am while somebody use small razor blade take tear the bobo for body. After dem beat am finish wey all him face don swell up like amala wey dem no turn well naim the fans warn am say if him no want make second leg of dis beating happen make him terminate him contract with the club with immediate effect then pack all him kaya getat from the club because the fans don taya to see him face. Failure to do so, the second leg of beating go bloody pass diswan.

Luan na attacking midfielder wey join Corinthians 3 years ago. Since then the bros don play 80 matches for the club, scoring 11 goals and 5 assists. Luan contract suppose expire by the end of dis year but e be like the fans no ready to get patience with am.

My people over to you. Wetin you think say Luan do to warrant dis kind attack from him own fans?

01/07/2023

Chelsea and Cesar Azpilicueta don finally agree to divorce each other after 11 years of marriage. Inside dis 11 years, dem achieve 2 EPL togeda as well as 1 FA Cup, 1 League Cup, 1 UCL, 1 Europa League, 1 UEFA Super Cup, and 1 FIFA Club World Cup. After all dis children wey dem born togeda, Chelsea don finally decide to let the bobo go so dat dem go fit enjoy the young young wife dem like Reece James, Trevoh Chalobah wey don dey mature small small.

We also hear say Atletico Madrid don agree to sign Azpilicueta. My people how una see dis matter?

30/06/2023

That Lionel Messi wonderful goal against Benfica don win the Champions League goal of the season. To score the goal, Neymar drop the ball for Messi to use one sweet R-2 from outside 18 take beat the keeper.
Vinicius Jnr outside cannon against Manchester City naim carry second.

My people Messi wey don go America still dey win award for Europe. Make una join us congratulate the GOAT for dis anada wan.

27/06/2023

Naija Super Eagles winger, Akinkumi Amoo don enter hot water inside Denmark after court sentence am to 1 year inside Kirikiri for sexual assault. According to the tory, na 3 babes naim Amoo assault sexually. First of all him r**e the shima wey him dey friend. Then e try to r**e 2 other babes after touching dem anyhow and nearly naked dem before dem manage escape. Na dis wan make police first arrest am before sending am to court to go face justice.

We hear say the Naija boy get right to appeal the prison term sha. We no come know how dis wan go affect him career going forward. But my people how una see dis kind matter?

26/06/2023

2023 Ghana Football Awards: Nigeria and Napoli striker wey im name na Victor Osimhen don collect Best African International Player award for Ghana Football Awards wey shele yesterday.

The 24-year-old get votes pass Riyad Mahrez, Mohamed Salah and Morocco goalkeeper Yassine Bounou na im make the give am the award.

As it stands, Oshimhen na the first Nigerian to win such award for Ghana, another award don enter our cabinet our next target na African player of the year award.

Abeg make we congratulate our brother Oshimhen e no easy to dey Naija collect award for Ghana.

26/06/2023

Naija Super Falcons winger, Rasheedat Ajibade never forget where she come from because the Super Falcons star don return to dat her small club wey train her, FC Robo go dash dem plenty different different tins like original jersey, tracksuits, correct balls, original boots and plenty other training materials to help dem see front well well.

Our prayer for you dis morning na say as you grow bigger in life you no go forget where you come from and the people wey help you get there. Una good morning my people.

23/06/2023

My people no be only for Naija League dem dey owe players salary or even no gree pay transfer fee as we don dey hear now say one player wey dey play for Boavista inside Portugal league, Reggie Cannon don abandon the club and dem plenty wahala after the club no gree pay am salary since dis year. Not only the salary sef, even him transfer fee of 2.6 million pounds, the club never pay 1 Naira inside.

According to the tory, na for 2020 naim Boavista waka from Portugal enter America for FC Dallas say dem wan sign the player. After the clubs agree bride price of 2.6 million, oya make Boavista pay na, dem say make Dallas wait make dem go sample dem new wife fes. Na so the bobo join Boavista like say na free olosho transfer. One year later naim Dallas go meet Boavista again say dem don dey sample the wife for more than 1 year now, make dem try pay even if na half of the bride price make dem know say dem don do small sontin for the bobo head but the club no gree pay even one kobo. Na so Boavista continue dey sample dis bobo for 3 straight years without doing anything for him head. Na diswan make Dallas provoke carry dem go court wey court say Boavista must pay dat bride price, even give dem deadline, but those Boavista people get very strong coconut head and dem still no pay the money after deadline pass. Then to make matters worse, dem con dey owe the player salary join. Now to buy food feed him family or even send back home to take care of him mama and papa, Reggie no fit afford am inside dis Tinubu economy. Na diswan make Reggie provoke say mbanunu, even prodigal son no suffer reach like dis so I will return back to my fathers house even if na garri i dey drink, make I sha use da wan take dey breet from there make I rearrange my life.

My people how una see dis kind Boavistan witchcraft dis early morning so?

22/06/2023

Premier League legend, Gary Neville don come outside dey beg Premier League oga dem say: abeg make una ban Saudi Arabia from buying players from Premier League because dis tin is becoming unbecoming. I no know about una o, but the way wey all dis Saudi Arabia clubs dey collect premier league players dey select dem like where Chef Dami dey select beans, I dey suspect say sontin is not right.

See as dem enter Chelsea like jagaban begin raid players even nearly select the full Chelsea squad and change dem name to Al Chelseadeen. Dem enter Wolves select their best player, Ruben Neves nak am 40 million plus title of Alhaji. Now na Partey dem wan use money take do am longer throat. I no even wan talk of how dem manage buy a whole current reigning world best, Karim Benzema. You know how much to buy Benzema? Na small tin dem for even collect the immediate former world best, Luka Modric. And all dis players we no dey even know exactly how much dem buy dem. Something is not right which is why I want make una ban all those Alhajis and Alfas from buying more players until we find out which kind jazz dem use take dey run dis matter.

My people shay dis tin wey Gary Neville yan make sense abi make dem leave the big Alhajis make dem sign big players as dem like after all money is talking?

21/06/2023

Breaking: Village people don use thunda kpai one referee for Niger State.

According to reports, one Nigerian referee wey im name na Mustapha Bello dey im house dem call am make e go officiate one friendly match for Niger State.

The match na between Madalla and Suleja youths, as the match dey go on naso heavy rain come begin dey fall but the referee no stop match because e get passion for e job.

Around 5:20pm naso referee blow whistle for half time those children wey dey play match run enter inside their class room because the rain too much even some fans wey dey watch the match.

The rain come begin dey fall too much soety some players no gree continue the match but our brother Mustapha Bello and e linesman enter pitch with that rain dey tell those players make dem come continue the match because na only second half remain and time don dey go.

As dem enter middle of the pitch naso thunda str!ke kakakakaka praaa f!re both of dem naso dem fall for ground with serous injury people come rush both the referee and linesman to hospital as dem reach hospital naso doctor tell dem say our brother Mustapha Bello don join e ancestors.

Some people say that thing na spiritual problem well some say no be only him thunda don kpai so no be spiritual.

My people abeg make we try to dey stay safe if rain dey fall too much abeg enter inside leave football and abeg make una stop to dey tell people make thunda f!re dem ebe lyk thunda dey active nowadays.

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