23/03/2025
Truly enlightened people, regardless of their culture, ancestry, knowledge, or environment, all end up pointing in the same direction, albeit through different words, angles, and lenses. Across cultures, philosophies, and religious traditions, those who reach the deepest states of wisdom arrive at the same understanding: identity, everything we think makes us who we are, is a kind of illusion that leads to the majority of our suffering. Our name, ancestry, beliefs, knowledge, desires, and even our emotions are either temporary, shaped by circumstance, or constantly changing. Yet we cling to them, convinced that this shifting collection of traits forms a solid, unchanging “self.”
But those who awaken—whether through Stoicism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Christian mysticism, or just deep personal reflection—realize something: enlightenment is not about perfecting the self, but about seeing it for what it is and dampening our attachment to it.
This might sound kind of woo-woo at first. This had fallen on my own deaf ears at one point in the past. After all, what are you but your self? For most, this realization doesn’t happen in an instant, but it also doesn’t come by way of the same mechanisms which form other beliefs. The difference lies in the process. Typical beliefs are formed through conditioning—if not indoctrination—whereas this is not a conceptual understanding but an experienced reality which one arrives at via deconditioning.
It unfolds in stages, it starts with curiosity—a subtle but persistent feeling that something about the way we experience life isn’t quite right. We notice that no achievement, relationship, or possession fully satisfies us, or we start questioning the nature of our own thoughts and emotions.
This deepens into exploration. We seek answers through philosophy, religion, meditation, or personal inquiry, trying to make sense of suffering and whether there is something beyond the fleeting concerns of daily life. As we engage with these ideas, we begin to see glimpses of deeper truths—the importance of selflessness, the power of love, the freedom and joy of presence, and the erosion of the boundaries between ourselves and the world, between ourselves and others.
Then comes direct experience. What was once an intellectual pursuit becomes something undeniable. The sense of “I” that we assumed was solid is revealed to be fluid, shifting, and yet empty. As the Stoic, Epictetus, said, “You become what you give your attention to.” We grow to see that our identity is nothing more than a collection of thoughts, memories, and labels—constructs that we have mistaken for something real.
Finally, we begin living out these realities. Our understanding moves from being an occasional insight to something experienced. The fear of losing our self fades, replaced by an effortless awareness of life as it is. No longer ensnared by personal desires, fears, or attachments, we act with clarity, compassion, and the sense of interconnectedness, rather than just a belief in it.
This is the path that leads beyond the self. And remarkably, it is the same path walked by enlightened beings across all traditions. The most incredible thing about it is, you don’t need anyone else’s material to realize it. You don’t need a religion to reinforce it, you don’t need to read lots of books, you don’t even need the examples set in the past. Anyone can arrive at this understanding alone, with the meager tools of awareness and introspection. But the examples which came before can certainly serve as a more expedient roadmap.
For many, Jesus is seen primarily as a figure of faith and salvation, but his teachings also align with the same self-transcendence found in other traditions. He repeatedly emphasized that to be truly free, one must die to oneself.
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)
“The kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21)
“I and the Father are one.” (John 10:30)
And through his example, refusing to discriminate against sinners and Samaritans and showing love to all, he lived out this understanding. These are not just moral teachings; they reflect the same radical realization found in enlightenment traditions. Jesus was pointing beyond the personal self, showing that clinging to identity—the worldly “me” we construct—must be surrendered for something greater to emerge. And what is that greater thing? Union. Just as Hinduism speaks of union with Brahman, Buddhism speaks of Nirvana and dependent origination, Stoicism speaks of aligning your will with that of the Universal Reason, and Taoism speaks of becoming one with the Tao.
To “lose oneself” is not annihilation but liberation. It is the realization that the small, separate self we cling to is a barrier to true peace and harmony with everything and everyone.
But if identity is an illusion, what remains? What are we without our names, memories, opinions, and desires? This is where words fail, because what remains is not something the self can grasp—it is a space devoid of the forms our minds box the world in with—it is simply being. It is a direct, lived experience of unity, peace, and freedom from attachment. It is not nihilism, nor is it some strength through indifference. Instead, those who awaken to this truth become some of the most active, compassionate, and transformative people in history.
The Buddha, Jesus, Laozi, Rumi, Meister Eckhart, the stoics, and countless others—all pointed beyond the self, not as an abstract concept, but as a lived reality. They did not teach us to strengthen the ego but to see it for what it is. In doing so, they found something greater than the self: the direct experience of our reality, love, and a unity that surpasses all distinctions.
It is in surrendering the illusion of separation that we find our greatest freedom. Not as passive detachment, not in mere belief, but as a life fully lived. One without fear, without clinging, and without walls between ourselves and the world. This is the path: to be curious, to try, to fail, and to finally let go and dissolve into the bounty of everything. That is what it means to awaken.
Donations are how we make money to keep content like this flowing instead of working a job that wouldn’t allow us to impact the world in the same way. Spreading a message is the job. If you want to help us keep that job, we have links to reputable money services at walkingamericacouple.com