CTFO Pausecast

06/02/2024

Change is inevitable. We can’t stop it. But if we change on purpose, we get to control our direction.
-
Healing childhood wounds is a scary type of change. Facing the things that hurt us the most. Facing the loss there. Facing the disfunction it caused in us.
-
It’s not small, simple or easy. It’s one of the hardest things in the world.
-
Do it slowly.
Do it gently.
Do it kindly.
Do it with so much love for the little boy or girl you were then.
Do it for the teenager you were.
Do it for the young adult you.
Do it for the you that’s still living deep inside.

03/11/2023

Today is a rest day. A day to take care of myself. A day to reflect.

I’ll take action when I’m ready.

28/08/2023

“Good enough.” A phrase and concept so many of us struggle with. Part of my healing journey has been moving into a space where I can be, know and trust myself.
-
I’m moving into a space where I recognize and embrace that “good enough” has nothing to do with anyone else. No one else gets to decide if I’m “good enough” or not. I do. Which means, I have the power to be good enough. I have the power, by healing and changing my beliefs and thoughts about myself.
-

17/08/2023

Just breath,
Happy? Stressed? Excited? Overwhelmed? Calm? Spiraling?

Just breath.

Your breath keeps you connected to you your body.

In times of stress, panic, anxiety, happiness and excitement, it keeps you grounded.

In times of sadness, stress, depression, melancholy, and anger, it lifts you up.
-

16/08/2023

Check out my latest post!

A child who grows up in an environment that is abusive and/or neglectful they…we develop the belief that we’re not safe. We develop the belief that we’re not safe unless… And this is where fear based, protective, maladapted coping mechanisms or skills are born. We become what we believe. Hea...

15/08/2023

Check out my blog! Link in bio!

I’m feeling so blessed to be able to share my story and mental health interests and tools again!

12/08/2023

It’s okay to be where you are!

Whether you’re winning at life or feeling some heavy feels on the couch, you’re doing okay right where you are. Love yourself there. ❤️
-

10/08/2023

Post 2: Story Telling, is published!

https://www.ctfopausecast.net/ctfo-blog/story-telling

Thanks for all of your support!

24/07/2022

Happy Sunday!

I hope it’s relaxing and recuperative!

21/07/2022

Episode 17, Overwhelmed, is out now!

In this episode of The Pause Ashleigh discusses her recent panic attack, how it came about, what she did to recover and how overwhelm affects survivors.

Sponsors:
www.audibletrial.com/3P3gkX
https://www.childresscpa.com/contact-us.html

Resources:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/emotional-overwhelm
https://myonlinetherapy.com/why-do-i-feel-overwhelmed/
https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/feeling-overwhelmed
https://www.psychalive.org/loving-trauma-survivor-understanding-childhood-traumas-impact-relationships/

21/07/2022

An episode by Chill the F**k Out Pausecast

19/07/2022

The only way to truly overcome your childhood trauma, neglect and abuse is to SAVE YOURSELF!
-
Identify your hurt, scared child self separate from your adult self now.
-
As your adult self now show your child self ultimate, unyielding and aggressive:
Love,
Compassion,
Acceptance,
Understanding,
Nurturing,
Listening,
Supporting,
Enthusiasm,
Positive reinforcement,
Positive physical contact,
A shoulder to cry on,
A place to breath and recover,
Protection,
Action taking,
Strength,
A great example,
Everything that part of yourself has always needed!
-
As your adult self you are capable of amazing things!
-
Nurture yourself into healing.
-
Take action in protection of yourself, as if a child is being attacked.
-
Create the environment you need to thrive, as if you’re doing so for a child you love.
-
You are worthy!
-
You are capable!
-

12/07/2022

Happy Tuesday!
-
Here’s to creating complete mental and emotional freedom!
-
**kinfreedom **kout

07/07/2022

Who you surround yourself with dictates your ability to heal from trauma.
-
If the majority of your support system and environment is made up of what and who caused your trauma or triggers your trauma responses, you likely will struggle to heal and progress.
-
If you choose to change your environment and support system to positive, compassionate support that includes respecting boundaries and appropriate accountability, you will have created every opportunity for yourself to heal and grow past your pain, fear shame and anger.
-
Choose you by choosing the people who offer positive support.
-
You’re worthy!
You are capable!

04/07/2022

Happy Independence Day!
-
This weekend marks a 2 year freedomversary for me!

2 years ago I made the choice to create as much freedom in and for myself as I possibly can.

For me this meant changing my lifestyle, going to trauma counseling, facing my greatest fears, changing my relationships, working on changing my habits, learning to love and accept myself, learning appropriate boundary setting and social skills, and everything I need to be mentally and emotionally free.
-
I’m still working on it but I feel more free than I ever have!
-
Freedom for me is being so mentally flexible, strong and resilient, that I can handle anything and come out of it with the ability to be joyful and satisfied.

To build such a strong support group and social circle that anyone who would mean me harm can’t get to me.

To love, accept, allow, and respect myself so much that I give myself everything that I need. Which means my relationships have room for true intimacy and vulnerability because I don’t need them to serve me beyond human connection.

Financially having the power to choose where I want to be and what I want to be doing.

Spiritually, having such a strong faith that I can face every part of the world, with all its ugliness and maintain hope and focus on the beauty and on what’s possible.
-
What does freedom look like for you?

03/07/2022

Happy Saturday!
-
Learning to love yourself isn’t easy but it’s necessary for the growth and change you want to make and see in your self, those you love and the world.
-
You’re worthy!
You are capable!

01/07/2022

It’s Friday!

You’ve done the best you can every day!

Yes you have!
Stop gaslighting yourself!
You’ve done enough!

Time to work toward CTFO, capped off with a 3 day weekend:).

Take care of yourself this weekend.

You’re worthy of chill time, fun time, alone time, or any other time you need to recoup and enjoy yourself.

You are capable and you are worthy!

**kout

29/06/2022

The more I work on myself, the more I realize I and my actions are dictated by my unconscious beliefs.

My unconscious is controlled by the parts of myself who have experienced the most significant events in my life, good and bad.

I view these parts as different versions of my inner child.

How I treat and talk to and about myself, goes directly to my unconscious and my inner child.

I want to show her love, acceptance, kindness, encouragement, protection, belief, strength, joy, and everything she needs to be grow into everything she’s meant to and wants to be!

If my inner child feels safe, loved, accepted and encouraged, I as my conscious adult self, get to live those beliefs!

26/06/2022

When in doubt:
-Breath
-Release
-Meditate
-Move
-Ground Yourself
-Journal
-Talk
-Take a Break
-Rest
-Create
-Distract

…do what you need, to chill the f**k out:)!

**kout

24/06/2022

Inner child,
Unconscious,
The part(s) of ourselves that hold on to our most painful memories.

Healing, supporting, loving and protecting these parts of our self’s as if they were our own children, frees us.

These parts will always be with us.

What if loving, protecting and nurturing them teaches them to feel safe, and then loved and then curious and then playful again and then joyful?

What if we could love these parts of ourselves to the point that our natural tendency is no longer panic, fear, hiding, or fighting.

What if we could, by loving these parts of ourselves, have a natural tendency toward joy, creativity and connection?

**kinfreedom

21/06/2022

F**kin’ Freedom!!!

That’s what I yelled when this picture was being taken.

We’d just had a week of fun adventures, good food and recuperation. We capped it off with a beautiful hike and then dipping our feet and walking in the cold river run off.

The cold thermo hit me just right. I felt completely clearheaded and abundantly joyful:)! It was amazing! And all I could think and say was ‘F**kin’ Freedom!!!’

After this, which was beginning of May, I went through, what felt like a cascade of experiences and regressions in my mental health journey.

I was triggered into a panic attack and my nervous system and unconscious seemed to regress back to some protective modes I had previously overcome.

I’ve been working on understanding this experience, working through it and learning from it. I felt I had to step back from The Pause, to really get clear again.

I’m ready to step back in but with some things I’ve learned:
1. It’s not going to be perfect.
2. I can decrease output and focus on quality.
3. I’m doing this for me and I want to be an example to those who want one, and that means being honest about my current experience.

Sometimes, we need to step back. It’s rarely convenient but it’s sometimes necessary.

So going forward,
1. I’ll work to be more conscious of my own needs and communicate that here, if it affects CTFO.
2. I’m going to focus on producing 1 episode per week. So I can get ahead and stay on track. So, even if I do take a break, the content keeps rolling:).

Thank you for all of your support!

Im committed to continuing, learning and growing and sharing with you, what ever I can, that might help you on your journey.

Next episode will be released next Wednesday and every Wednesday going forward.

**kinfreedom

07/06/2022

An episode by Chill the F**k Out Pausecast

04/06/2022

Man! It’s been a challenging week in which I’ve employed most of my healthy and some of my unhealthy coping skills!

Glad it’s done, most things are resolved and I can chill the f**k out!

I’m excited to continue the coping series. It’s been powerful to revisit and learn more in depth about maladapted and chosen healthy coping skills.

02/06/2022

Episode 15 Numbing/Apathy Part 1, is available now!

A discussion about numbing ourselves to survive childhood trauma and abuse and then working to understand it as adults, so we can heal and feel again.

02/06/2022

An episode by Chill the F**k Out Pausecast

31/05/2022

Let go of the mask, act, facade, perfectionism, inappropriate self expectation.
-
Uncover and discover the real you, the you that existed before the pain.
-
That’s the work.
-
I believe, that’s our true purpose.

29/05/2022

One of the hardest parts of mental illness as a survivor, is the feeling like you have no control, feeling helpless and because of that, hopeless.

Gaining the ability to choose how you react to anything, allows you to take your power back, really live, restore your own hope and save yourself.

You are capable and you are worthy!

26/05/2022

Thaw the freeze!

A common response a survivor experiences to being triggered is to freeze, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Easier said than done but it’s a reactive habit that you can change.

Build your personal protective skill and trust in yourself by thawing yourself when you freeze, in a survival response to a real or perceived threat.

Take action:
-Leave
-Call them out
-Practice a processing, self care or healthy coping mechanism right now:
—-Breathing exercise, visualization, meditation, vigorous exercise, cold shower, etc.
-Do something, not nothing.

Move forward:
-Literally physically moving forward, can thaw the freeze and over time will change the reactive habit from do nothing to moving forward into facing the problem, so you can do something about it.

Ground yourself:
-Talk
-Move
-Practice an awareness exercise
-Go into nature
-Move
-Dance
-Anything that helps you feel present and strong.

26/05/2022

Episode 14 is published!

Stress Tolerance as a Survivor

You are worthy of the time, effort and resources it takes to heal and then live!

26/05/2022

An episode by Chill the F**k Out Pausecast