Excuse the Gap

10/03/2023

I have reached 100 followers! Thank you for your continued support. I could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

22/12/2022

31/05/2022

This….

03/05/2022

We want to be in a relationship with someone that....

We want someone to come into our lives who knows how to manage emotional trauma, that has intelligence, and someone that can give us the world without us even asking.

Countless nights go by and we catch ourselves praying that maybe tomorrow we will find our soulmate that will make everything feel like a book that Nicholas Sparks wrote.

We want to date someone that notices us on a daily basis, respects us, admires us and treats us like a priority rather than an option.

We want to date someone who wants to protect our well-being and invests their time in our own happiness.

We want to be with someone who isn't afraid to hurt others people's feelings to protect ours.

We want to date someone who wakes up everyday looking for new ways to love us.

We want to date someone who chooses us under any circumstance.

We want to be with someone who refuses to entertain any other person that's not us.

We want to date someone that will continue chasing us long after, they have already had us.

We all will eventually find someone who will give us the love and affection we have always longed for, but you always have to remember no matter what... It’s never too late to find someone who appreciates and values you for who you truly are as a person inside and out.

Take my advice .... and always remember that your time is precious. So don't waste it on someone who doesn't realize you are too.

~ Cody Bret

26/04/2022

This. Hits. Hard.

The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.

From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when s**t got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.

From all the lies and all the betrayals.

You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.

Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.

You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?

You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you.

Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.

So, you don’t trust anyone.

And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.

To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.

“Never again,” you vow.

But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.

Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.

Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.

It’s a trauma response.

The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.

You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.

You are worthy.
Worthy.
Simply because you exist.

-Jamila White,

30/03/2022

Do you have baggage you need help unpacking??

30/03/2022

Do you have baggage to unpack? Stay tune for Friday April 6th, Excuse the Gap vlog.

27/01/2022

Today’s podcast was hard. The real comvseatIon afterwards was even harder. But we got this. We will keep keeping on that’s what we do.

26/01/2022

Get ready 10 minutes