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13/07/2022

Elon Musk sue himself for Twitting too much

Our parole-waiter reporter, Jimmy Carreño, had the opportunity of interviewing Mr. Musk, following the news that Twitter was suing him for attempting to terminate the $44 billion takeover bid. Mr. Musk commented that he is trying a new technology that fully connects his brain’s frontal lobe with Twitter, "I wanted to be more connected than ever". Unfortunately, the technician connected the micro equipment to his limbic system, getting into Twitter all Mr. Musk’s emotions, first thoughts and unconscious biases. "So, I am suing the tech company!" exclaimed Mr. Musk.

A family member, which name cannot be mentioned, not because was prohibited, but because computers don’t have those characters yet, explained to Mr. Musk, that the tech company was actually his, but he did new it since was bought while he was sleepwalking.
"Eish!" shout the billionaire, while he was quickly trying to turn his cellphone's airplane mode on due to a very bad idea he just had.

03/07/2022

Pat Riley offered Burnie to complete the KD package.

In a surprising move, Pat Riley has offered Burnie as part of the package to bring Kevin Durant to The Magic City.

During a meeting, the Miami Heat organization was discussing who they should include in the trade package, when couch Spo tell everybody “Have you seen how Tyler Herro is normally dressed. That guy is Miamian, Heat culture, no way we are trading him!” UD exclaimed “think in all kids that got in love with our team because of Tyler”. what is this guy doing here? Thought Riley. “let’s get Burnie in the package” said Riley out load.
Unfortunately, Burnie was in the next room and overheard everything. Our reporter, Jimmy Carreño, who was trying to sneak into Fiesta Cruises in Bayside, even though he knows he isn’t the captain, saw Burnie across the street banging the “cacerola”, very agitated.

02/07/2022

A State Trooper plays Rocket League in Kendall.

This afternoon, a State Trooper was caught on camera playing Rocket League in the streets of Kendall. At the SW 137th Ave. and Killian, a group of kids went out from their cars to cheer the police officer for such a great performance.

Their parents got a little bit nervous but they instantly remembered that lights in Miami take almost an eternity to change. In fact, a respected Miamian needs to check all seven social media accounts, make a post and shout someone out if is reacting more than 0.15 sec after the green light goes on. Oh oh, green light! Posted it!
Miami thing…

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A State Trooper plays Rocket League in Kendall. This afternoon, a State Trooper was caught on camera playing Rocket League in the streets of Kendall. At the SW 137th Ave. and Killian, a group of kids went out from their cars to cheer the police officer for such a great performance. Their parents got a little bit nervous but they instantly remembered that lights in Miami take almost an eternity to change. In fact, a respected Miamian needs to check all seven social media accounts, make a post and shout someone out if is reacting more than 0.15 sec after the green light goes on. Oh oh, green light! Posted it! Miami thing… @lifestyle_miami

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