The Grad School Femtoring Podcast

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The Grad School Femtoring Podcast

The Grad School Femtoring Podcast Learn all things grad school, sustainable productivity, & personal development for first-gen BIPOCs.

06/02/2025

The start of this year has been rough.

I’ve been sick(er) and still not fully back to baseline.

My partner has been even worse, and after weeks of illness, I finally urged him to go back for another checkup.

On top of that, business has been slower than in years past—institutional clients are losing funding, individual clients have tighter pockets, and tbh, things are tight for me and my family too. It’s concerning, but we will find a way forward.

And here’s what’s keeping me hopeful:

-Having a solid number of 1:1 clients who continue to motivate and inspire me to keep doing this.

-Hearing from past 1:1 and group clients who still benefit from the work we did together. 
-Becoming a finalist for the Rise and Recognize Service Award for my coaching work. 
-Being nominated for a Catalyst First-Gen Book Award in the non-fiction category. 
-Most importantly: not letting setbacks freeze me like they used to. I’m taking action— prioritizing my health, wellbeing, my work, and my goals, even if it means doom scrolling less on social media and grounding myself more.

If you or your organization need support, my hybrid 1:1 and group coaching program for first-gen BIPOC grad students and professionals is open, and my calendar is available for virtual grad school and productivity workshops and keynotes. Please reach out.

[ID: Image of Dra. Yvette sitting down and smiling. She has olive skin, dark brown hair in a pony tail, and wears glasses, beaded earrings, a lilac blazer, and white shirt.]

04/02/2025

This month, I’m honoring Black History Month by amplifying two brilliant Black women who are shifting narratives and driving change.

One is tackling the intersection of race & ability in anti-ableist work within mental health care and higher education.

And the other is redefining what it means to be Black and first-gen while amplifying more nuanced and intersectional first-gen stories.

Getting to read their work and interview them on my podcast feels like such a gift!

As a non-Black person of color who is also disabled and first-gen, this is one way I show up—by creating space and sharing voices that need to be heard.

I’ll share more about my guests as their episodes drop later this month.

Who else should I feature next? Drop your recommendations in the comments!

24/01/2025

Feeling overwhelmed? Trust me, me too! Here are some suggestions for how to lower the bar and maintain momentum during difficult times.

First, redefine excellence. Excellence got you where you are, but it’s okay to choose “good enough” when circumstances change or your capacity lowers.

How do you know when to lower the bar? In some instances, such as during moments of high stress or personal emergencies, lowering the bar is obvious. But you can also do good enough work strategically to preserve your energy or make time to fill your proverbial cup.

How exactly do produce good enough work? You get to determine this but examples can include writing shorter emails or using templates, practicing strategic skimming and active reading, giving yourself time limits and turning in what you have.

If you’re new to lowering the bar, make sure to communicate boundaries and give yourself space to manage feelings of guilt. And remind yourself that your worth is not measured by your productivity. Doing bare minimum and focusing on survival is okay. Once you have more capacity, focus on momentum and progress over perfection.

Want to learn more? Listen to the episode 304 of the Grad School Femtoring Podcast on how to lower the bar without losing momentum in your career and life!

[ID: 6 lilac images with the text shared above. Image 7 has a snapshot of hands typing on a laptop with a book to the left of the laptop. The image also has text on the bottom that reads, “304: How to Lower The Bar Without Losing Momentum in Grad School And Your Career.”]

13/01/2025

Yesterday, I had a dream that felt like a message for 2025.

In the dream I was in an office with a few of my former supervisors and children. One of the adults was glued to the computer monitor, while another was too focused on staring at images of the past, and yet another one was easily distracted.

And after I looked at all the adults and felt an initial sense of discomfort and confusion, I turned my attention towards the children. I found them paper, markers, and crayons and ensured they had a comfortable and safe space to stay. And suddenly, nothing else mattered.

This dream, as I interpret it, makes complete sense to me, especially after a week full of anxiety. Between the ongoing fires in LA, my family of four getting sick, and other life disruptions, I’ve been reflecting on how we can no longer rely on old systems.

We must find new ways to adapt, grow, and maintain agency even in uncertain times.

That’s why I’m committed to helping others do the same. Through my hybrid coaching program for grad students and professional development workshops, I support first-gen BIPOCs with maintaining momentum on what matters most and sustainably reaching your goals.

If this resonates, please reach out so that we can find ways to mutually support one another.

11/01/2025

As someone who was born and raised in SoCal and moved away later on, I’ve witnessed so much hate for Californians both in the US and abroad. And I’ll tell you that if there’s anything I’ve witnessed the last few days from folks in LA with these devastating fires, it’s love. Love for our families, homes, and greater communities. Let’s keep offering California and LA love by doing what we can to offer support. Because before you know it, we may be the ones asking for support next.

[ID: screenshot of Threads post with text shared above.]

10/01/2025

I debated releasing this week’s guest episode. With the LA fires, I’ve been distracted and unsure if anyone would listen. But then I remembered:

1. I record episodes months ahead, and this one features a dear friend whose performance as activism work I deeply admire.

2. In tough times, we all need moments of relief and this episode can offer that.

Sometimes, showing up as planned can offer comfort so if you need that check out episode 302 of the Grad School Femtoring Podcast.

—-

In today’s episode of the Grad School Femtoring Podcast, I welcome my guest and dear friend, Doris Difarnecio, a feminist, interdisciplinary artist, theater director, and performance activist, to share her remarkable journey through performance as activism. Doris talks about her roots, growing up between Colombia and the United States, her academic trajectory, and her impactful theater work. Together, we explore themes of identity, race, gender, and sexuality, and how these intersect with her artistic and activist efforts. Additionally, Doris introduces us to Arte Acción, her interdisciplinary platform for performance and politics. This heartfelt conversation sheds light on how personal experiences fuel activism and the transformative power of performance in addressing social issues.

09/01/2025

For those of us away from California witnessing these devastating fires from afar, gentle reminder that you don’t have to continue on “business as usual.”

Instead, you can:

lower the bar at work,
cancel that meeting,
leave work early,
take a mental health day,
use your PTO,
channel your rage,
and use your temporary geographic privilege (because the climate crisis will directly impact us all eventually) to support others in need in whatever way is accessible to you.

[ID: screenshot of a Thread with the text shared above.]

03/01/2025

Five things that I’m grateful for in the new year! ✨

1) Taking time off for the holidays, slowing down, and doing things that make me happy like exploring new parks, reading, and writing. My current read, via audiobook, is Tiffany A. Yu, MSc’s The Anti-Ableist Manifesto, and it’s so good!

2) Having some family come over so my kids spend quality time with their cousins. Living in a different state as my bio and chosen fam comes with its set of challenges and so it means the world to use when folks choose to visit us in Vegas.

3) My co-author, Miroslava Chavez-Garcia, and I were accepted to present at the McNair Promising Practices Institute, a national conference for McNair professionals. Our presentation is titled “Accessible Grad School Preparation Tools: Insights from Is Grad School for Me?” We’re also open to presenting on the topic to other grad prep programs, so please reach out.

4) Getting invited to be a guest on the podcast Qué pasa, HSIs with Dr. Gina Ann Garcia to speak on the topic of supporting grad students at HSIs.

5) And having two podcast episodes I recorded release today. The first is an episode on the Academic Life Podcast with Christina Gessler, PhD on grad school myths and misconceptions. The second is an episode on gentle productivity tips for chronic illness, autism, and ADHD, on my Grad School Femtoring Podcast. You can listen to them at the links in the comments.

I still haven’t finished setting 2025 goals. I also haven’t created a vision board, which is so unlike the type A virgo in me, lol. And yet, I’m embracing it because I’m honoring my body’s need to continue slowly reflecting at the very least until the Lunar New Year.

Of course, I am also dealing with grief and personal challenges tied to loved ones whose heartbreaking stories are not mine to share. But I’m choosing to slow down to honor the nuance that is life.

What are you grateful for so far in the new year?

[ID: screenshot of LinkedIn post with text shared above.]

24/12/2024

In December 2016, my eldest child was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Today, eight years later, I received my own diagnosis. A very Merry Christmas Eve to me!

For those who are self-diagnosed or questioning, please know that your experience is valid.

While a formal diagnosis can be affirming, it also requires financial and educational privileges (among others) that not everyone has access to and not having one doesn’t diminish your truth.

Being autistic doesn’t take away from my strengths or self-worth. It’s okay to need extra supports or accommodations—they honor my needs and help me thrive.

To my neurodivergent community, you are enough and you deserve to live a life according to your own terms.

And to everyone else, believe us and see us for all the assets we can bring to any environment.

[ID: screenshot of LinkedIn post with text shared above.]

26/11/2024

I want to share a story that highlights the power of coaching in helping nontraditional, first-gen, Latina grad students succeed.

One of my long-term coaching clients—who worked with me for two years—graduated this year with her PhD!

Her journey wasn’t easy. She was juggling motherhood, multiple part-time jobs, and a difficult advisor but with structured support, accountability, and a plan that fit her specific challenges as a Latina mama and first-gen scholar, she reached the finish line with a postdoc lined up after graduation.

Here’s where it gets even better: she referred her close friend, who was facing a daunting challenge—finishing her dissertation in just two months while juggling not one, but three part-time jobs. With tailored coaching and a clear roadmap, this client is in the middle of finishing up revisions and filing her dissertation as we speak! 🎓

But it doesn’t end there. Seeing the value of coaching firsthand, this new client has now referred two of her writing group colleagues, who’ve both connected with me to explore coaching for their own grad school journeys.

I’m proud to share that more than half of my clients come from referrals. It speaks volumes about the need for coaching among folks who are first-gen, nontraditional, BIPOC, parenting students, neurodivergent, disabled, and others navigating academia with full lives and systemic challenges.

I know from experience how so many of us need support beyond what academia alone can offer. Coaching can provide the structure, encouragement, and personalized strategies we all need to thrive in grad programs and beyond.

If you’re someone who feels overwhelmed or know someone who’s struggling to finish their dissertation or thesis, I’d love to connect. Together, we can create a sustainable plan to help you cross the finish line with confidence and without burning out.

25/11/2024

A grad student recently sent me this exciting photo from an anthropology conference—look what she spotted! My co-authored book, Is Grad School For Me? Demystifying the Application Process for First-Gen BIPOC Students, proudly displayed at the University of California Press booth! 📖✨

This moment is extra special because this year, I learned that our book is now being taught in graduate prep curriculums at UC Davis and Cal State LA, among others. If you’ve spotted our book being taught in a classroom, please let us know as we’re keeping track of the book’s impact that way.

Seeing how it’s reaching classrooms, conferences, and the hands of students who need it most is a dream come true and would make the former first-gen Chicanita undergrad in me so proud!

For first-gen, low-income, and nontraditional students of color, the path to grad school often feels overwhelming and isolating. That’s why we wrote this book—to provide guidance, reassurance, and actionable strategies to help you thrive in your higher ed journey.

If you’ve read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Or if you’ve seen it in the wild (like at this conference), tag me or send me a photo—it makes our day!

27/09/2024

Just a gentle reminder about this upcoming workshop.

I had intended to promote it more this week but there’s has been a lot going on and I haven’t had the spoons to share more about it. Yesterday too I received devastating news about the loss of someone important in my life.

In any case, if you want to learn more, check out the details in the link I share within the comments.

29/08/2024

I’m thrilled to share that I’ve earned the Embrace Change Coaching Certification, specializing in coaching People of Color!! 🎉

Through this program I fulfilled a long-standing goal I’ve had to enhance my coaching skills.

I also that the privilege to join a program designed for and by BIPOC professionals.

And in addition to gaining valuable skills, I also gained a hugely supportive community of incredible women of color leaders.

To be frank, I’ve wanted to pursue a coaching certification since 2021 but found most programs lacking in diversity or beyond my budget. Discovering ’s brand new BIPOC-focused program was a game-changer for me.

Building on this achievement, I plan to pursue my ICF coaching certification to expand my opportunities for coaching with different types of organizations who ask for this credential.

I’m excited to already be applying these skills with a full roster of BIPOC grad student clients who I recently onboarded into my 1:1 coaching program.

19/08/2024

This is your last reminder to join us for a hands-on personal storytelling and systems workshop for first-gen, BIPOC creatives and professionals seeking to confidently take action towards their desires!

Deadline to sign up is today, April 19 at 4pm PST. Workshop is tomorrow April 20 at 4pm PST.

Through our (Dra. Yvette & Camila) combined experience of hundreds of coaching sessions, we have distilled confidence building down to two central pillars: storytelling and systems.

Once you are CLEAR about what your unique story is and can distinctly identify your personal work-style systems, you can make moves easily towards your vision.

Your story is where you learn, feel, and embody your inherent worthiness and your work systems are your tools for sustainably following-through on your goals!

When you know who you are and know how to execute on your needs and goals, confidence is inevitable.

Join us for a 90 minute group experience where you will learn how to identify and harness these pillars of confidence for yourself!

No more holding back, no more second guessing, no more waiting for permission to create what you want.

Agenda:

-Welcome and Grounding Exercise

-Speaker Backstories

-Introduction to Bottom-up and Top-down Processing

-Approach 1: Storytelling and Clarity

→Reflection exercises

→Developing your personal narrative

-Approach 2: Systems and Advocacy

→Identifying work strengths and preferences

→Advocacy strategies and boundary setting

-Q&A and Closing

Sign up at the 🔗 or DM us to learn more.

[ID in comments]

13/08/2024

What if confidence was less about your belief in your ability to accomplish something in a particular way and more about believing that you’ll be okay even if things don’t work out like you expected?

What if you gave yourself permission to fail? What if the worst case scenario happened and you realized the outcome wasn’t as scary as you imagined?

What if you remembered all the past moments that you were scared to do something and then it worked out differently but better than you imagined?

This is what I tell myself all the time when I find myself not wanting to do something due to my own negativity biases and fear of failure.

This is how I feel sometimes when promoting my services, even this workshop that I’m hosting next week.

Even though we will pour our hearts out into the workshop, I think to myself, “What if no one signs up?”

Well, then at least we tried.

And thankfully, we’ve already had a few sign ups because of our efforts.

If you want to learn more about confidence building in grounded way that honors who you are and how you do things, join us next week.

Workshop will be held on April 20 at 4pm PST. Deadline to sign up is April 19 at 4pm PST.

[ID: Five images. The first four have a white and off-white floral background with teal and indigo text shared above. The last image has a flier that is part white and part lilac with headshots of olive-skinned Chicana coaches. On the left is Camila with long straight dark brown hair, hoop earrings, and a floral top. On the right is Dra. Yvette with mid-length wavy dark brown hair, glasses, beaded earrings, and a hot pink top.

The text reads, “Aug. 20, 4pm PST, Virtual Event / Your Confidence is Inevitable / Cultivating Your Story and Systems / Camila Lacques-Zapien / Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu / A hands-on personal storytelling and systems workshop for first-gen, BIPOC creatives and professionals seeking to confidently take action towards their desires!”]

08/08/2024

I’m a recovering perfectionist.

My earliest memory tied to this was when I was in elementary school and would dread using an eraser. I would crumple up multiple sheets of paper for a making a mistake when writing my name. This was before even starting my homework.

My dad reinforced my perfectionism. He expected straight As, there was no other option. I wasn’t allowed to do B-level work, let alone ever fail. I didn’t want to know what would happen to me if I failed. I was terrified.

When I got to college, my fear of failing compounded when I took my first neuroscience class. Not only did I struggle but it led to me earning my first C and my body reacted as if the world had ended. I went into fight or flight. I was so ashamed. There went my hopes for majoring in neuroscience.

In grad school, perfectionism followed me. I obsessed over citations, grammar, and formatting because that’s what I had control over. In actuality I needed substantial support with developing my ideas but I was afraid to ask for help and be discovered like the fraud I thought I was. As a result, it took me longer than I hoped to finish and it was a painful process.

If I could go back in time, I wish someone had told me as a child that you can make mistakes, you’re allowed to fail, you have permission to do B-level work, you can aim for progress not perfection, and that it’s better to do something imperfectly than nothing at all.

Perfectionism made my life harder.
Perfectionism limited my growth.
Perfectionism also hurt my confidence.

Battling perfectionism has been one way I’ve managed to reach my goals and improve my confidence. When you give yourself permission to make mistakes and not strive for perfection, you then open yourself up to trying new things, taking calculated risks, and reaching new goals. You also start accepting yourself and the way you do things, however imperfect they are.

If you want to learn other strategies and systems for improving your confidence, check out my upcoming workshop. Details in next slide.

[ID in comments]

06/08/2024

In grad school, writing a dissertation felt so hard and it nearly broke me and my confidence.In grad school, writing a dissertation felt so hard and it nearly broke me and my confidence.

I didn’t trust myself or my writing skills and instead, was ashamed of how I wrote because my writing was simple rather than full of jargon.

I often contemplated leaving my program because I kept pushing back writing deadlines and that made me feel worse about myself.

Slowly but surely, I started implementing systems to help me get to the finish line.

This looked like showing up to writing groups on campus, coworking with buddies at coffee shops, scheduling regular meetings with my advisor, and consistently using pomodoro timers while listening to the same music album on repeat.

With a lot of trial and error, I figured out what worked and after I finished my PhD, I continued using that same curiosity to discover more systems that worked for me and my brain, which fueled my confidence.

The more I prove to myself that I can do hard things, with the proper systems and support, the more I believe in my ability to do it.

This belief has led to me pivoting careers, moving abroad, and even co-authoring a book, which, get this, we wrote the full manuscript in six months. And it felt easy too!

This is also my hope for the people I work with and anyone else who resonates with my story.

I want you to lean into curiosity, listen to the messages your body, mind, and spirit are telling you about what works for you, and use that knowledge to develop systems to help you reach your goals.

If you want to learn more, check out my upcoming workshop. Details in next slide.

[ID in comments]

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Videos

TL;DR: This is the year we have to get our ish together. [ID: Video of Dra. Yvette with olive skin, dark brown hair in a ponytail, glasses, and wearing a fluffy light blue zipped sweater sitting down and talking about how 2025 is the year we need to get our act together and find ways to take care of ourselves now and in the long run.]

Unboxing my Signal Award! 🏆

Here to share a touching moment that showcases exactly why we wrote Is Grad School for Me?: Demystifying the Application Process for First-Gen BIPOC Students. My co-author and I received an uplifting email from a director of a McNair Scholars Program, expressing how our book has resonated with their first-gen, low-income, and BIPOC students. Hearing that students see themselves in the stories we shared, feel represented, and are finding our guidance useful is incredibly meaningful. It’s being adopted into curriculums, including the Mellon Mays program on their campus, and impacting many lives. This shows the power of incorporating storytelling, representation, research, and accessibility in your writing! I hope it also reminds you to never give up on your dreams to write that book that you know the world needs. Thank you to everyone who has supported us on this book publishing journey—your support and readership means more than you could imagine. #HigherEducation #FirstGen #BIPOCStudents #GradSchool

The only reason I can do any of this is thanks to the support of my community who has my back. This year I became a published author, a certified coach, an award-winning podcaster, a LinkedIn Learning instructor. I also joined a speaker’s bureau and a podcasting network. None of this would be possible on my own. I still have many days out of the week where I struggle. I still experience pain daily. I still get easily overwhelmed. But I show up whenever I can because I know I’m not doing any of this alone. I do my best to make things easier on myself. I do my best to do good-enough work. I do my best to ask for help. “How do you do it all?,” they ask. I don’t. Instead, I focus on tasks that move the needle forward. I aim for progress, not perfection. And of course, I ask for help. Who is part of your support system? And how are you ensuring that you can keep reaching your goals sustainably? [ID: Video of Dra. Yvette sitting down and wearing a black and white button down top, black headband, and small silver hoop earrings.]

Last week I was honored to be invited to speak as part of Cal Poly Pomona’s First-Gen Week. My co-author and I were invited to give a talk on our book, Is Grad School For Me?: Demystifying the Application Process for First-Gen BIPOC Students. We received feedback from several students in the audience. Most of the participants found our session valuable and want to hear us speak again. Here are some noteworthy comments they shared: “Very empowering presentation and makes me feel motivated to apply for grad school. In addition to feeling more prepared as to what is to come for the future. Instead of feeling lost about the grad school process.” “This event was moving, inspiring, and reaffirming that students of color have a community to support them with their higher education endeavors.” “Very informative and the perfect amount of information without dragging on.” “It was really engaging!” Shout out to Dr. Brianne Dávila, the CPP College of Letters, Arts, and Social Sciences, and all of the co-sponsors who helped make this happen! Thank you for helping to make this event a possibility! We look forward to future collaborations. [ID: Video of Dra. Yvette, an olive skinned Chicana with dark brown hair in a ponytail, wearing yellow beaded flower earrings and a grey CPP “I am first” shirt.]

Hang on to the people that matter. Show your appreciation. Shout out to my femtee, Jeanette, for her generosity and support. We need community now more than ever. 🫶🏽 [Video of Dra. Yvette, an olive skinned Chinana wearing a red USC Rossier School of Education shirt with a yellow headband and sunflower wooden earrings.]

Despite my current state of anxiety and dread, I’m reminding myself of the things that bring me joy. Today the thing that’s making me excited is launching my brand new FEMTOR merch! I’ve been debating doing this for months now. Some of my femtees might recall me mentioning it at the beginning of this year and then I let fear and overwhelm get in my way. That is until the @wocpodcasters community hosted a merch workshop and it reminded me that I don’t have to overcomplicate things to be able to offer something that can bring a smile to someone’s face. My merch collection features fun items like a holographic sticker, an unscented candle, and even a premium organic hoodie (not pictured in the video). Check out the items by going to [gradschoolfemtoring.com/shop](http://gradschoolfemtoring.com/shop)! Thanks for your support! [ID: Video of Dra. Yvette wearing a red shirt, black cardigan, tan headband, and black beaded earrings. In the video she shares merch items including two stickers and a candle.] #GradSchoolFemtoring #FemtorStickers #FemtorMerch

In episode 292 of the Grad School Femtoring Podcast, I share exciting news about winning a Signal Award and reflect on the power of visibility, community, and consistency. I discuss my podcasting journey and the encouragement and support I’ve received that led to the award. I also talk about the significance of representation in media and awards and the lessons that I’ve gained in setting intentions and embracing opportunities even while experiencing moments of doubt. 🎧 → gradschoolfemtoring.com/podcast [Video with a close up shot of Dra. Yvette, an olive-skinned Chicana wearing Dodger blue and white colors, dark brown mid length hair, tan over ear headphones, and glasses while sitting on a chair with a purple throw blanket over it. She discusses how you need to do more than hard work to achieve success, you also need visibility and community.]

In episode 291 of the Grad School Femtoring Podcast, I welcome my guest @practicedana, a feedback and visibility coach, who addresses the importance of psychological safety and effective feedback in professional and non-profit spaces. Dana shares her journey from singing and performance to the non-profit sector, emphasizing the significance of feedback loops in fostering trust and improving engagement. Our conversation also touches on topics of cultural literacy, overcoming workplace trauma, and the need for reciprocal and constructive feedback at all organizational levels. Listen to learn strategies for handling negative feedback, embracing discomfort, and finding supportive environments. 🎧 → gradschoolfemtoring.com/podcast [Video with Dana, a brown-skinned bi-racial Black woman with long wavy dark brown hair wears a patterned top with earphones and a vivid navy blue background.]

Behind the scenes info on why I’m choosing to moderate my last public workshop of the year on the topic of mental health. Check it out and join us this Thursday!

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