20/03/2022
This made my day😂😂😂🤣. ™️
I remembered my first trial at jamb. Just like some other deluded students that always feel after secondary school, you pass jamb, get admitted into one of the most reputable universities in the country, use four years straight, first class in the bag, serve the country for a year, few weeks after POP, get a job in a big firm, earn large, get married and continue living a stress free life.
I was some other deluded students, some other deluded students is me, in fact, my name is some other deluded students.
After sitting for jamb, I got 202, I was extremely happy, I beat the cutoff mark by 2, I felt like my dream was about to be processed. Imagine giving Unilag two jara on top what they asked for as cutoff mark. I did utme and was waiting for my admission in peace.
I started feeling tensed when people started getting their admission but mine was nowhere to be found. Many people had told me that Unilag use to do ojoro but I didn't believe. After giving them two jara marks, they held my admission.
As days went by so was my joy, my parents made it worst with their constant way of reminding me that I'm a failure. If I eat too much, my mom will be like " if I focus on my life the way I eat, I'll have gotten the admission".
Little time on my phone " if you don't waste all your time on that phone , you would have gotten admitted ". I remembered when me and mom was going to market and I was walking fast and she was like " if my brain works faster like my legs, I would be preparing for school now ". That was the painful thing someone had said to me. Mom has a degree in Abusive and Bad words from Oxford university, that's why my siblings and I always avoid getting on her bad side.
I became religious and started praying to God and Unilag, even if it's one useless course they should give me, I was no longer interested in studying Medicine anymore.
I was sitting down in the living room one Saturday afternoon when my phone suddenly beeped. I took it and saw the miracle. The message I've been waiting for my entire life.
" You've been admitted ".
I jumped up as I screamed out like someone who won millions of naira.
Everyone ran in to check if I was alright. I broke the news to them that I finally got the admission. Everyone also screamed in joy, everyone was happy.
My mom quickly picked her phone and started calling friends and family to break the news to them. My mom love peppering everyone with her success. " Mama Obiora, good afternoon o, your son has gotten admission to Unilag, what about your own son ".
Dad asked my brother to get the two chickens we're raring pending Christmas out of the cage and he slaughter them. My mom swiftly dressed up and asked my junior sis to follow her to the market to get jollof rice and fried rice ingredients.
I was given money to get soft drinks. According to them ,it calls for celebration because I was the first person that will get admitted into university in our family history. Everyone in our family either attended polytechnic or COE.
Before five in the evening, jollof rice and fried rice was ready, my mom dished my food and added two drumsticks on it based on I was the celebrant, while she placed one each on her food and dad's own. That was the first time mom will be putting a chicken thigh on my food.
We all sat in the living room and started eating as one big happy family. I could tell my parents were happy and delighted with the great feat I achieved.
My phone suddenly rang, it was Lekan, his mom was among the people my mom called to rub my success on her eye because Lekan was yet to get admitted. He told me he heard the news from his mom and decided to congratulate me.
After dropping the call, my phone mistakenly swiped down and that was when I saw the full body of the message.
" Argh " I screamed as the drumstick in my hand fell down. Everyone was shocked at the way I screamed and my sister who was closer to me ,dragged my phone from my hand to check the reason I screamed.
" Argh " she exclaimed too.
My dad took the phone from her hand to see the reason why we're shocked.
"Shey na eye they pain me ni " dad asked as he rubbed his eye with his hand in order to be able to see clearly.
" Pelumi " he called my name as he gave me my phone.
" Show me the message of the admission you got " he ordered.
I looked at the message I saw on my phone again.
" You've been admitted into the Alrtel online Sunday school service holding every Sunday for #50 monthly, reply 8 to cancel this offer ".
" Argh " I exclaimed as I already know dead was inevitable.
" What's happening " my mum asked looking confused.
" It's Sunday school your sun got admitted into " my dad replied.
" Okay, Unilag already want him as a Sunday school pastor or what " mom asked .
" He didn't get admission into Unilag" my dad replied bluntly.
" Mogbe " mom screamed out.
" God has called brother Pelumi into his service " my sister chipped in humorously and all I heard was a loud bang sound, I thought it was a gunshot sound at first until I saw my sister vomitting all the rice she ate.
A slap that could make someone vomit, I feared for my life at once.
" Mom, please let's be calming down" I said as I was using style to stand up.
" And I killed the chicken for Christmas " dad said with regret.
" Christmas came early " my brother chipped in and I heard another loud bang sound.
" Who off light " my brother screamed as his eye glued together, I was sure the eye won't work for a whole week. I never knew my dad's slap could be an eye closer.
" Mom please let's settle this without spilling my blood " I begged as she started moving closer to me.
The way I was dealt with that day, don't be surprised if I sue Alrtel in the future.
The next day, mom sow me as a seed in church.
Ayam P1, ur laff🤣 masters.
©️ Horluwap1 2022
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