26/09/2022
To the people who see kids like ours on social media and out in the community…
We need you to know something.
Special needs parents, we are doing our best.
So are our kids.
I can show you the highlight reels daily.
I can tell stories of big wins that seem pretty insignificant to others.
But in order to truly educate and advocate…
I need to show you our reality.
The hard that is put in to just go to a store or to get a proper education.
The countless hours, days, months and years of practice to work towards independence.
The scary drop everything and run when your child elopes suddenly moments.
The unpredictable we have no idea what our kid will do next moments.
The my child has gone through several transitions, schools, therapies to be where he is today stories.
The we have to work so hard to get people to listen to us about our children, and we advocate every day for them tales.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that we can control everything our kids will do.
That we can just say no and that’s that.
That we are horrible parents who lack teaching boundaries, discipline and manners.
You see, that’s not the case at all.
When you see us out, what you’re seeing may be a moment of impulsivity from our child that even we weren’t expecting.
Many of our kids don’t gives us a heads up.
They struggle to communicate.
We lie awake nights just wondering what they’re thinking because we don’t know.
So give us grace please.
Give them grace, they are learning to navigate a world that is filled with people that don’t understand them.
They are learning how things work.
Getting subjected to new sights and sounds that can be overwhelming.
And they can sometimes have emotional disregulation, meltdowns.
When we are out with them we have to be prepared for anything. We don’t know how each trip out will go or what outside sources may derail the entire thing.
We don’t always know what to expect if we are visiting somewhere new and they don’t necessarily know the rules or social etiquette for the place they are in.
We must teach as we go.
I promise we will try to do better next time.
And the next.
We inch forward in everything we do.
And we celebrate “just doing” as a win even with all its wrongs and faults that you may see.
Because we did it. We know what it took to get here.
Because it’s worth it. They’re worth it.
Because they deserve to be in the world.
And because we know that tomorrow won’t look like today, if we don’t give up.
But we have to be out in the world to do better.
We need to be practicing and trying.
And we are just praying we are shown kindness, understanding and acceptance along the way.
