Brandi Vermillion - The MotherFlustered

20/06/2024

The funny thing is, when you start sticking up for yourself and enforcing your boundaries, people will call you
(👇fill in the blank in the comments👇).

Did you know…?

💟It is a choice whether or not you believe, validate, or give any energy to what they say.

💟People get to believe, say, and do just as they choose to and you have no control over them.

💟Your actions speak volumes over your words so when you choose to live close to your virtuous values, you are setting the example for the company you expect to keep thereby creating your own happy reality in spite of OR encouraged by what and who you give your energy to.

Let things go. Keep things close. It’s a choice and that choice is up to you to guard and honor.✌️❤️

Are you going to guard what you value today?

29/03/2024

Too many of us do though. Huh?

22/02/2024

Too many times I have stopped myself from pursuing the thing, doing the thing, saying the thing by what-if-ing the thing BUT if the thing becomes an experience, more often than not, it is something I am proud to add to my repertoire. It is the things that go undone that cause regret.

04/10/2023

Growth and will to live.
There’s always something to be learned in the garden. Even if the garden is voluntary.

25/09/2023

Are you able to not think a thought because you don’t want to? That was my wonder when I read this. I think this is the third time I’ve read this book. I get something different every time.

08/07/2023

Spent a large chunk of time lounging at the lake again. It made me think I should pose a question to my Oklahomies. Did you know that there is lake water out there that you can see through?

07/07/2023

Brandi, Brandi, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With tomato bells, and sunflower stalks and pretty chickens all in a row.
While I’ve been away, my sweet husband has been diligently caring for my gardens and sending me updates. Leaving in July, I knew I’d miss a lot. The sunflowers are bursting and tomato vines heavy with fruit. I love that he’s sending me all the pictures and long for the day that I’m back with them all!

24/06/2023

She’s a beast and ready for adventure. Where will she take us? I guess we’ll find out!

23/06/2023

This is Bobby. He’s technically Lily’s but he and I get some hang time in before the sun comes up most days.

15/06/2023

Look what came today! I’m so excited to read this! I’ve so enjoyed listening to Barron & Elsa wax philosophically for such a long time. The ideas about all facets of living life that come from them apply to living nomadically but also a simple, minimal and healthful life. If you haven’t heard of them you can find their content on IG, YT and podcast. I highly recommend!

17/05/2023

The backyard is falling into the creek. 🤦‍♀️ I say it a lot, since I have to live in the city for this chapter of my life, this is my little slice of heaven BUT… please, for the love of everything, don’t fall in the creek! We are researching and getting quotes for fixes. The forecast is, well, very wet. I want to do what is best for the land, wild life and the future of this property. 🤔

09/05/2023

It was a big day around here. Got up and got chores done then loaded up my Mother’s Day present and went for a mini-adventure. This evening I found one of my peonies on the cusp of exploding! ❤️ It’s been a good day.

27/04/2023

Instead of New Year’s resolutions I have picked up the practice of focusing on a word for the year. The words come to me in meditation and/or journaling. Sometimes I know exactly what to do with them. Sometimes they take me on a journey of discovery. This year it was two words instead of one. Two words that were related while branching.

Mindfulness - the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something
Intentional - done on purpose; deliberate

A life full of purpose and meaning fueled by intentionality and mindfulness drives me in the direction I want want to go in.
I used to say I was on a journey to my best self. To be on a journey insinuates there is a destination. An end to what has begun. There is no end, though. ❤️

"Mindfulness is the quality and power of mind that is aware of what's happening — without judgment and without interference. It is like a mirror that simply reflects whatever comes before it. It serves us in the humblest ways, keeping us connected to brushing our teeth or having a cup of tea. It keeps us connected to the people around us, so that we're not simply rushing by them in the busyness of our lives." ~Joseph Goldstein

"In mindfulness one is not only restful and happy, but alert and awake. Meditation is not evasion; it is a serene encounter with reality." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

"Learn about yourself, by watching yourself. There is great beauty in that. You will find out in watching what it means to be aware, attentive. A mind that is so attentive is a clear mind. From that, you can act totally... Be aware of what you want to do, for in that awareness your mind becomes sensitive, intelligent. From that intelligence is an action that is total.⁠" ~Krishnamurti

"There is a way open to all, on every level, in every walk of life. Everybody is aware of themselves. The deepening and the broadening of self awareness is the royal way. Call it mindfulness, or witnessing, or just attention. It is for all. None is unripe for it, and none can fail." ~Nisargadatta Maharaj

"Even if you have the perseverance to sit for nine years facing a wall, sitting is only one part of Zen. The practice of Zen is to eat, breathe, cook, carry water, and scrub the toilet — to infuse every act of body, speech, and mind — with mindfulness, to illuminate every leaf and pebble, every heap of garbage, every path that leads to our mind’s return home..” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

"Every book says ‘Be quiet or still’. But it is not easy. That is why all this effort is necessary. Effortless and choiceless awareness is attained only after deliberate meditation. That meditation can take whatever form most appeals to you. See what helps you to keep away all other thoughts and adopt that method for your meditation." ~Ramana Maharshi

“It is only through silent awareness that our physical and mental nature can change. This change is completely spontaneous. If we make an effort to change we do no more than shift our attention from one level, from one thing, to another. We remain in a vicious circle.

Only living stillness, stillness without someone trying to be still, is capable of undoing the conditioning our biologoical, emotional and psychological nature has undergone. There is no controller, no selector, no personality making choices.

When you understand something and live it without being stuck to the formulation, what you have understood dissolves in your openness. In this silence change takes place of its own accord, the problem is resolved and duality ends..”
― Jean Klein, I Am

27/04/2023

I know I’m late but it’s better than never. My plan is to get my tomatoes in the ground by the end of this weekend!🎉

27/04/2023

Long love the differences, the little black sheep and the misunderstood. ❤️ They are the ones that help others see the beauty in this world.

Gillian is a seven-year-old girl who cannot sit in school. She continually gets up, gets distracted, flies with thoughts, and doesn't follow lessons. Her teachers worry about her, punish her, scold her, reward the few times that she is attentive, but nothing. Gillian does not know how to sit and cannot be attentive.

When she comes home, her mother punishes her too. So not only does she Gillian have bad grades and punishment at school, but she also suffers from them at home.

One day, Gillian's mother is called to school. The lady, sad as someone waiting for bad news, takes her hand and goes to the interview room. The teachers speak of illness, of an obvious disorder. Maybe it's hyperactivity or maybe she needs a medication.

During the interview an old teacher arrives who knows the little girl. He asks all the adults, mother and colleagues, to follow him into an adjoining room from where she can still be seen. As he leaves, he tells Gillian that they will be back soon and turns on an old radio with music.

As the girl is alone in the room, she immediately gets up and begins to move up and down chasing the music in the air with her feet and her heart. The teacher smiles as the colleagues and the mother look at him between confusion and compassion, as is often done with the old. So he says:

"See? Gillian is not sick, Gillian is a dancer!"

He recommends that her mother take her to a dance class and that her colleagues make her dance from time to time. She attends her first lesson and when she gets home she tells her mother:

"Everyone is like me, no one can sit there!"

In 1981, after a career as a dancer, opening her own dance academy and receiving international recognition for her art, Gillian Lynne became the choreographer of the musical "Cats."

Hopefully all “different” children find adults capable of welcoming them for who they are and not for what they lack.

Long live the differences, the little black sheep and the misunderstood. They are the ones who create beauty in this world.

23/04/2023

Perfectly said ❤️

Do you want to know why moms are depressed? Let me tell you.

Today I woke up early to make my birthday child French toast. I wanted to do it. I was HAPPY to do it.

I got three kids ready for school and out the door by myself, headed to the gym, raced home to shower and spent an hour putting all the stuff away all over my house.

I ran the dishwasher that didn't get run last night.

I then spent my day single handedly pulling off all the magic that had to happen today, and tomorrow for family birthday party, and friend birthday party, and school treats for the class.

That included things like making my second trip to Target to return something my daughter rejected and buy something else I thought could replace it.

It didn't work. So there is a third trip to Target in my future.

While there I also got party supplies, then stopped off at a different store to get balloons.

I came home and baked a cake, and did a little work on my computer and somewhere in there I did three loads of laundry and let the cat in and out of the house approximately 52 times.

I also managed to get dinner started at 4 PM so I could run my child to his cello lesson (and sit through it so I too can learn to play cello so I can help him practice) and then texted my oldest instructions on when dinner would be done while at the lesson so the house didn't burn down.

Let's not forget the fact that I've also volunteered this week at the kids school, and broken up fights, ran kids to and from friends' houses, done homework, followed through with text messages, rearranged appointments, and I still have a party to run tomorrow after school.

I love my life. I'm grateful for the fact that I get to be a mom. I am privileged in many many ways.

And while all of this sounds stressful maybe, and not depressing per se - here's why it can be depressing.

I haven't heard a thank you all day. Not one.

I haven't heard a wow - you cooked that amazing meal, baked a cake, AND took a cello lesson virtually all at the same time?

I haven't heard a thank you for clean laundry in their closets, or clean floors.

I haven't heard a thank you for the 9PM grocery trip when I'm bone tired to get the ice cream for tomorrow's party.

The truth is - I have good kids and a good husband. But, it's depressing to be everything to everybody sometimes.

I'm not sure what I did for myself today at all.

In this photo - I'm a blur.

And, THAT'S how easy it is to get lost in motherhood.

THAT'S how easy it is to feel alone.

THAT's how easy it is to have an entire day disappear and not know what you even did because you were so busy to take inventory.

But, today I took inventory and it was a hell of a lot of stuff.

I'm tired. I'm going to do it all tomorrow. I'm going to continue to be everything to everybody and I'll take some time for myself in a few days when things slow down and birthday dreams are made and over.

But, yes - this is a good life. But, it's also not that hard to see why we crumble sometimes. Why sometimes we wonder what we're doing and how we became the personal assistant to literally everyone.

It's easy when I do take the time to take the inventory and realize I am the backbone of this whole operation and that's a heavy load to carry.

So, yeah. In a nutshell - I can see why moms get depressed.

It's a good life. But, it's not easy. And, sometimes it's hard to see the reward through the the to do lists, apathy, and crumbs on the kitchen floor.

Love this post?? Grab a copy of The Mother Load here: https://a.co/d/a9tnnGR

05/04/2023

She wanted to go into the coop to last an egg but the dreaded ducks were in the run and, well, she was being chicken. She succeeded in getting our attention so we could es**rt the ducks out of the run end clear the way for her. 🙄

03/04/2023

Cattle panel arches are up in the herb garden! You might be wondering why I need arches for herbs. The arches are actually for some climbing roses, Armenian Yard Long Cucumbers and birdhouse gourds. They will provide a little shave for the herbs that will accompany them because this side of the house gets suns all day long. I think the herbs will appreciate the reprieve and I will too when I’m harvesting. 😊

26/03/2023

I almost forgot my Sunday photo dump! I’ve been busy! I am so looking forward to seeing everything green again. I love winter but I have really come to live summer too over the last few years since I’ve also learned to tolerate some heat.

20/03/2023

48 hours of effort made the most wonderful cinnamon roll that has ever been in my mouth! 😍😋

12/03/2023

Making dinner.

12/03/2023

Part 2/2 - life is a roller coaster. There’s no way to just coat through. There’s ups, downs, bumps, curves and sharp turns. Just when you think you’ve got this, it’s time to adjust course. Don’t worry though. You’ve got this!
Life’s improved in amusement with an inside bird contrary to former belief patterns, everything goes my way when it comes to hitting the neighbors jackpot, old dogs can learn new tricks and the words we use are important.
Comes back next week to see what I learn living my MotherFlustered life! 🤪❤️

05/03/2023

Pictures from the past week to reflect on accomplishments, progress and moments. I don’t think I do that often enough and want to be better about doing so. ❤️

10/02/2023

Right now, this is me homesteading.
For the majority of my adult life I have dreamed of living a homestead-y life. I’ve had opportunities and made feeble attempts but I wanted to have the perfect place and in my dream it was someplace that was already all set up and operating. I struggled with the impossibility of the dream because I couldn’t see the path from A to Z. Recently though, I heard Jess from say to turn your waiting room into a classroom. 💡🤯
I started taking my own homesteading dreams seriously. Doing the work to learn the skills that I think are valuable enough to know and be good at. Taking the risk of failing to meet my own perfect expectations because that’s the path to progress.
My little urban homestead doesn’t look anything like my dreams but I’m putting the work in to make my dreams come true because I know my dreams are worth it.
Psst… 📣 Your dreams are worth it too! 📣

13/01/2023

Oh, hey! Whatcha doing? Me? Just hanging with my chicks…

13/01/2023

22/12/2022

❤️ Creativity is the way your soul tells your story. Creativity is art. Art is where you find your people. Art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.

20/12/2022

Oh, hey 👋