06/04/2023
WOW! 6 months ago my life was put on hold. Clearly, brain surgery is a life-altering experience where my confidence in my survivability was shaken; my awareness of my mortality was heightened; my fears of the unknown were greatly intensified; my concern for physical and intellectual deficits was overwhelming, and the love I have for Tyler, Matthew, and my family and friends borders on manic.
During diagnosis or the “discovery phase”, I was overwhelmed by what I didn’t know and what I needed to learn in aa very abbreviated period of time.
Then I moved on to treatment, which was the surgery phase. This provides yet its own assortment of anxieties and emotions, which ended with an attitude of “let’s just get this done – and hope for the best.”
Recovery, I can not even begin to explain what this would entail. Post-surgery, I was glad that I was alive, pleased to hear “they got all of the tumor”; but disappointed that I had a couple of slight deficits (the vision in my right eye and the ringing in my ears). As of now, the vision has gotten better but is still not 100%. Other side effects include occasional, intense shooting pains in the right side of my head and some days I feel like a box of white crayons and a blank piece of paper. Other than that, life is grand.
I will continue to have MRI’s every 6 months to keep an eye on everything (my next scan is in July). The fear of the unknown is always difficult so as I take a deep breath and pause I would like to thank all my family, friends, work, doctors & medical staff that helped me get through this ordeal. This is something that would be difficult to get through alone. I am one of the fortunate ones that believe the quality of my life is far better post-tumor than pre-tumor. My medical setback did not define who I am nor did it paralyze me to inaction. Rather the opposite; it stimulated my thinking and compelled me into all assorted action and not to waste precious time.
✌️
(picture: When they say you have a titanium plate in your head, it's not an actual titanium plate... it is a bunch of these little star pieces clipped together and then those are clipped to your skull)
