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The Museum of Q***r Swipe Stories is a curated archival project by Gaysi Family and Tinder that seeks to collect the many moods, experiences, and complexities of q***r dates, tales of romance, heartbreaks and everything else!

The One With the Making Up and the Mango Tree Back in 2018 while I was still in college in Solan, the HR team of my firs...
21/11/2022

The One With the Making Up and the Mango Tree

Back in 2018 while I was still in college in Solan, the HR team of my first job messed up and sent me to Bangalore for an internship. A messy start to my professional career, but the beginning of my forever love story.

On a pleasant afternoon in May of that same year, I was job hunting at my office (using their wifi, of course) when a really close friend of mine shared Agni’s social media profile with me. We got off on the wrong foot from the get-go because I like to keep things casual and he doesn’t. I asked him if he’d be into a one night stand and that resulted in a huge fight, with him shaming me for just wanting hookups. It ended before it could even start.

Things took an interesting turn when I posted photos of me wearing a jet-black, 3-piece, Van Heusen suit for my college farewell party. Something about those pictures melted Agni’s heart and he messaged me. We chatted for a while and were surprised to learn that, despite our one fundamental difference in what we wanted from each other, we were quite similar.

Agni was finally ready to meet me in person. So, I returned to Bangalore soon after saying a final goodbye to my college in June. The first time we met, it was at Forum mall. We talked and talked and those meetings became more frequent. The venues kept changing. We met at Lalbagh Botanical Gardens, every Saturday or Sunday. And that’s where, on a sunny afternoon, I asked him to be my boyfriend under the shade of a mango tree. It was the 1st of July, 2018.

People often ask me how I knew he was the one for me. Truth is that I didn’t know. But, in those 2 months meeting at Lalbagh, we presented our bare, naked souls to each other. From our fondest memories to our darkest secrets, we shared everything. And that’s how I knew that even if I didn’t know if he was the one for me, as long as we’re together, we can make it work.

We did long distance for about 3 years after that and moved in together in April 2021.



Priyanjul, 26
Gay, Cis Man
Bangalore

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia

The One Who Made Me Believe That Love is Something Beyond TouchWe lived on the same floor in a hostel. We went about our...
18/11/2022

The One Who Made Me Believe That Love is Something Beyond Touch

We lived on the same floor in a hostel. We went about our daily routines but didn’t bother to look at each other. There was this one time, I remember, my friend complimented how beautiful her hands were. I hadn’t noticed them. But one day when I stood beside her in the washroom, I truly looked for the first time. She had fair hands and thin, long fingers, and she wore a ring with an amber stone on her right ring finger. That was the first time I noticed anything about her.

Gradually, I began looking at her, for her. I only realised the gravity of the situation once I started getting affected by her absence. I remember standing in front of her locked room, staring blankly at it. It was then I realised I was falling for her. I also knew she had a boyfriend. But, I was a hopeless romantic and didn’t give up that easily.

One day, we spoke for an hour. It was a cold January morning. I vividly remember her head falling back in laughter when I teased her, and her wide smile showing off her gums & her warmth.

I expected things to turn my way after this, but they didn’t and it hurt every day. We crossed each other daily after that but didn’t speak. She didn’t bother to notice me or even if she did, I didn’t notice her anymore since I always looked down. She knew that I loved her but I didn’t know that she already knew. I learnt of this when one of my friends talked to her roommate about me. There were no hard feelings and she respected my identity. She said that she was straight, but I still believed things would go my way.

She left in May after finishing her course. She said goodbye and I was actually very happy as I wouldn’t have to keep seeing her around. I didn’t feel that anticipated agony. To this day, I miss her. I think about her everywhere I go. Whenever I go back to my room, I still see her there, smiling at me. We don’t talk much now but I hope one day I’ll get to see her and this time it will be forever. I cannot imagine loving someone as much as I love her. I just hope she finds happiness wherever she is. Let’s meet when we are in better places.

Anchal, 21
Homos*xual, Female
Offline

The One Where I Manifested My Dream Partner I have a history of being in abusive relationships. So, I took a year off fr...
15/11/2022

The One Where I Manifested My Dream Partner

I have a history of being in abusive relationships. So, I took a year off from relationships to intentionally focus on healing my wounds. I realised that I had a scarcity mindset pertaining to the dating pool; I felt that the Q***r Desi community was so small that I needed to settle for whoever I got. I replaced this with an abundance mindset and manifested my dream partner by writing out a list of ideal traits and what I wanted out of a relationship.

I met Ayaan at an online mixer in February 2022. We were both hoping to be matched in the one-on-one breakout room, and towards the end of the night, we finally did. I was a bit inebriated at this point, and I definitely embarrassed myself, but thankfully, Ayaan found me endearing. We bonded over many things—especially being q***r & Gujarati. The Gujarati community in Canada is small—and the q***r Gujarati-Canadian community is even smaller—so this was very soul-satisfying.

Two weeks later, we met up for drinks at Toronto’s Gay Village. I sat across from Ayaan, locked eyes, and immediately felt a strong, magnetic connection. We spent the night bar-hopping and diving into deep conversations. Before we knew it, it was 2 AM. Ayaan walked me home, and we went to my apartment to warm up. We had the most magical hug we’d ever experienced. It felt like time had stopped, and I had reconnected with someone I’d known forever.

We began hanging out more. I would study at the coffee shop where Ayaan worked and share flirtatious glances as Ayaan served customers. It was a sweet, subtle q***r love. I never thought that I would find someone who treats me like an absolute queen and allows me to express all parts of my authentic self fully—but here we are. Ayaan has begun transitioning; loving & supporting him through this process has been so beautiful. The sense of loneliness I always felt in relationships with people of other cultures dissipated with Ayaan. It has been so heartwarming to partake in Gujarati traditions and celebrations such as Garba, Navratri, and Diwali, with my q***r partner.

Alyy Patel, 26
Gay, Gender Fluid
Online Event

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The One With The Right Person At the Wrong TimeOur story is unique; we are like two parallel lines; she is looking for t...
10/11/2022

The One With The Right Person At the Wrong Time

Our story is unique; we are like two parallel lines; she is looking for the moon while I am just a star.

I met her through a mutual friend. Her readiness to help those in need was one of the things that attracted me. But, she is straight, while I am bis*xual. She warned me not to fall for her, but you can't control who you are destined to meet.

Somewhere along the way, she caught on to the fact that I was interested in her. She asked me if I liked her, and I said yes. She didn't walk away because she was attached to me somehow. We flirt like lovers and spend time with each other on calls, and when we meet, we can barely look at each other.

She allows me to be myself, accepts my flaws, and pushes me to do things I love. I feel complete with her. She is the love of my life; my safest place; my home. My day starts with her morning text, and my nights are romantic because she is a part of them. Words are not enough to express my love and respect for her. Being in love with her is the best feeling in the world, even though we know what's coming—right person, wrong time is the most painful combination there is.

So my love, "Je t'aime. Aujourd'hui. Ce soir. Demain. Pour toujours. Si je vivais mille ans, je t'apparti endrais pour tous. Si je vivais mille vies, je te ferais mienne dans chacune d'elles." [“I love you. Today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever. If I lived a thousand years, I would belong to you for all. If I lived a thousand lives, I'd make you mine in every one of them”]

Text highlight:
"You can't control who you are destined to meet."

Void, 22
Bis*xual, Female
Bar

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia *xual

The One Where Romance Wasn’t EnoughI had my first date with Rahul on 25 September 2017, during Durga Puja. I was a colle...
03/11/2022

The One Where Romance Wasn’t Enough

I had my first date with Rahul on 25 September 2017, during Durga Puja. I was a college student and I met him online.

The six months we were together were the most romantic period of my life; every time I saw him I had butterflies in my stomach. He was the first ever boyfriend to sneak into my flat on my birthday to give me a gift and a kiss.

But, everything changes with time. One of the issues between us was that I am gay, while he is bis*xual. While we were together, he was also seeing some girls, which drove me crazy.

We broke up soon after. Now, I see him roaming around, acting straight. It feels awkward, and I wonder if he is still the same person I was falling for.

I learned a lot from this relationship; like the fact that people can change any time and you can’t depend on anyone. But more importantly, you have to live your life like your own and love yourself before you try to love others.

Jeet Nayak, 23,
Gay, Male

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia

The One Where I Should Have Kept TimeFalling in love didn’t matter to me before. I mean, who wants to just find a person...
02/11/2022

The One Where I Should Have Kept Time

Falling in love didn’t matter to me before. I mean, who wants to just find a person, emotionally connect with and feel seen by them and then care for them so much that you fall hopelessly in love. Ha, I didn’t want that… until it happened to me.

A while ago, I’d seen this guy at a friend’s party. He’d put himself in a corner, away from the crowd. The moment we both laid eyes on each other, it was like something clicked. We both felt an attraction towards each other; we found ourselves a quiet place where we kissed and exchanged numbers. We talked a lot: I told him about my messed-up mental health and my abusive family and he would check on me almost daily. But, one day, and I’m not entirely sure what came over me, but I just got tired of it all and blocked him.

Fast forward to 6 months later, and I meet this guy again at a skatepark through a common friend. This time, I felt a lot more mature and settled, and still felt that pull towards him again. But, I wasn’t as lucky this time. This time, he was in love with someone else who didn’t like him back. It hurt me to see him hurtinglike that.

One day, I couldn’t keep it in any longer and I yelled at him. “Why can’t you just choose me?! I love you and care for you whereas he doesn’t even care if you exist!” He just looked at me with this tired expression and said I was just too late.

Those words shattered me. I can’t even remember the countless nights I have cried remembering those words, reminding myself that I was just too late. He’d loved me since the day we first met, but just because I was naïve and didn’t know his worth, I’d lost him forever.


Arya, 18
Gay, Cis Male
Party

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia

The One With A Date That Felt Like A Dream I knew that I probably knew nothing about this person right in front of me, b...
18/10/2022

The One With A Date That Felt Like A Dream

I knew that I probably knew nothing about this person right in front of me, but I wanted to know everything.

They were late, by more than half an hour. I should have been furious but I was nervous. They were looking for me but I spotted them first and waved from a distance. The moment we met was the first time I heard their voice; I wanted to tell them that it is a beautiful one. I handed them the white Carnations I got for them, and we walked to find a place to eat.

We sat in a random restaurant in Nizamuddin and ordered some chicken kebab and chicken biryani. We were unable to finish our food and laughed at how the waiters were looking at us like they would throw us out any moment. Afterwards, we walked to Sunder Nursery and continued until we found a place by the pond. We sat on the grass and watched the kids play. When they told me they loved watching kids play, I even joined them. Through all this, we talked a lot. We shared stories about everything, from our creepy school librarian and the little fort behind their old house, to their love for tea, and their dislike of being photographed.

We walked by the pond and then to the open space, where they played with a dog. As they played, they told me how one day they wanted to have a place to house many pets. The idea of them being there was like a little dream that I had never dreamt.

D, 27
Bis*xual, Female
Dating App

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia *xual

The One Where Finding Myself Meant Finding Makeup I was in 6th grade when I used makeup for the first time. I had applie...
14/10/2022

The One Where Finding Myself Meant Finding Makeup

I was in 6th grade when I used makeup for the first time. I had applied foundation for a performance for our annual function. For a long time, my only access to makeup was through YouTube videos. It used to feel like the world I craved for what existed in those videos. When I applied makeup on myself properly for the first time, my parents were really upset. But, they came around eventually.

Over the years, I explored the world of makeup and explored my identity as a gay man simultaneously. They both went hand-in-hand until my then-boyfriend broke up with me. We called it quits because we were unable to make his parents understand about our relationship, but I struggled to move on.

When the lockdown was announced, we had been broken up for 2 years, and I still couldn’t get over my past. Stuck at home, without anything to do, I decided to play with makeup for fun, like in the old times. What I didn’t know was that makeup was my lifeline. I realised that it didn’t matter if no one was standing by me because my work will always speak for me. I fell in love with makeup and I started exploring the makeup industry as a freelancer, Instagram influencer and content creator. Soon after, I came out and I honestly feel like I’m finally breathing now!

Samarth Saini, 22
Gay, Male
Lockdown

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia

The One Where the Single Mom Puts Herself Out ThereAs a single mom, when I set my boundaries and specify “no hook ups” o...
10/10/2022

The One Where the Single Mom Puts Herself Out There

As a single mom, when I set my boundaries and specify “no hook ups” on my dating bio, people judge me. I don't know why. Conversations tend to quickly devolve into s*xting, and when I say no, they seem to be offended that I, who already has a child, is not interested in s*x.

I wish people would respect the boundaries which we mention in our dating bios, or have the courtesy to move on if it's not okay for them. When you have a kid, you don’t want to jump into something without trying to get to know the person. Some people need time to feel ready for that intimacy. Forcing people to talk about their s*xuality and their past traumas, is upsetting and makes me want to not try.

But, despite all this, I've met strong q***r couples who have turned out to be supportive friends, who are like family to me. My friends have believed in me, and supported me as I navigated a world where people could not accept a single parent. People still try to force me into getting married, saying that I should do it for the sake of my child.

On days, once I retire to bed after finishing up work, dealing with the households and spending time with my baby, I wish I had someone to share that happy moment with me. I wish I end up falling in love with someone for their personality; not their appearance, or background or stability. I want a relationship where we can support and be there for each other, instead of just rushing into bed; I am just not into that.

Fathima, 24,
Demis*xual, Bis*xual, Woman
None

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia *xual *xual

The One with the Siblings in a SupermarketThis is one of my favourite stories to tell and also concludes with a pun, muc...
01/10/2022

The One with the Siblings in a Supermarket

This is one of my favourite stories to tell and also concludes with a pun, much to my boyfriend’s horror.

So there I was, in a supermarket, shopping for tofu and mosquito repellent and this random brother-sister duo paused in front of me to compliment my outfit. After some “you too!”s and “see you around”s, we ended up bumping into each other again after five minutes (it was a tiny store, to be fair). We laughed awkwardly at each other and when we, yet AGAIN, bumped into each other, I decided I needed to share with them some cake I’d bought a couple hours ago. After a while, the sister said that they’d ordered potato wedges to their place and that I should come along to have some. Now, judge me all you want, but I went with them and made up this elaborate lie in front of their family that I was the sister’s friend.

A lot of fun later, I decided to get back home. I remember the brother screaming something encouraging at me while I was zoomed away on the bike, and I probably yelled something similar back. I reached home to two texts from the duo asking me if I was safe.

I got to texting the brother in earnest and I discovered he was, like, insanely smart, and I was instantly enamoured by him. And upon meeting up with him a couple of times after that, I realised what a gem of a person he is: kind, hilarious and a massive nerd with the softest voice. After all this time, I still can’t stop gushing about him. It’s unbelievable someone like him exists in this world. I’ve never been in a relationship this healthy and uplifting. I don’t think I’d even be this confident and outspoken about a lot of things in my life (like my gender, for instance) if it wasn’t for him and his insistence that I deserve good things - and that the bare minimum is just that. Basic human respect. He thinks the future is a scary and volatile concept, but whatever the future may hold for us, I know I’ll try everything in my power to be with him for the rest of my life.

Oh, and the pun I talked about earlier? I always tell people we met “organically.” Get it? Because we met in a supermarket!😂

Jamie, 21
Bis*xual, Transman
A supermarket

The One Where Love Was Not EnoughShe was turning 23, and I had asked her if she would like to drive out of the city with...
30/09/2022

The One Where Love Was Not Enough

She was turning 23, and I had asked her if she would like to drive out of the city with me for her birthday weekend. I had been tied up in knots about her for weeks, and was finally going to tell her how I feel. There were 20 years and 9 months between us; it felt like an unbridgeable gap. And, yet, in the months that followed, we found so many ways to love, celebrate and honour each other.

In my 20+ years of dating men and women, she was the first lover who taught me to truly respect and love myself. And I was her first ever lover. And yet, it was like we had waited lifetimes to be (re)united like this. Holding her felt like coming back home to myself. We felt the deep security of each other’s love. We knew that even if life paths took us in different directions, even if we weren’t lovers anymore, we loved each other beyond that paradigm.“How did we get so lucky?” we’d whisper to each other in bed.

We battled guilt and shame about how we felt for each other - she, only just embracing her q***rness, and me, often mortified that I was just a few years younger than her mother. But when we held each other, it all melted away. Something that felt so right, so beautiful, couldn’t possibly be “wrong”.

We had always wanted to write a Q***rSwipeStory together. We’d imagine how we’d articulate it, how we would celebrate us. And now, here I am, writing it on my own.

Throughout our relationship, we both had to face our inner darkness, every time seeking refuge and comfort in each other’s love. But it came to a point that we needed to part completely to be able to heal. It was 10 months of knowing, loving and cherishing her. She broke up with me with a startling finality that crushed me. And, yet, there was this feeling of calm and void at once. Something new and unfamiliar opening up, and yet, the deep pain could not be averted.

Someday maybe we'll meet again - like strangers re-meeting each other all over again.

In this lifetime, or another.

Chamki Girl, 44
Q***r, Cis Female
At work

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia ***r

The One Where You Threw Away 15 Years of HappinessI am really glad you played that cruel joke on me. Sleeping with him e...
26/09/2022

The One Where You Threw Away 15 Years of Happiness

I am really glad you played that cruel joke on me. Sleeping with him every night and then coming back the next day all smiles. I now realise how wrong it was for me to invest so much of myself in a person who wasn’t even emotionally mature enough to know what it all meant. I remember crying my eyes out. I can only imagine how sadistic people have to be to pull off such moves to show how much power they wield in a relationship. You didn’t even blink an eye at the thought of leaving our dogs and cat. That’s when I finally knew that our emotional intelligence were on different levels. You taught me to not fall for a person whose own ego is more important than the tears of their partner, or worse, deserting their pets’.

For the longest time, I didn’t even know if you liked me back or not. Yes. “Like”. Because even though I might have loved you, I never knew if you did. So you played with my feelings till you were sure. I wasn’t good enough to be with you but I wasn’t even bad enough to let go without thinking about it, right? And you tortured me with all that “thinking”, but that is okay. I will never let another narcissist play with my emotions like that, in the hope that they will one day find me worthy.

I realised how nothing and no one is worth feeling like you’re trapped in your own life. I never valued feeling free and in control of my own life, and maybe that is why I so readily handed the reins of my life into your hands. I will never do that again because I now know the price I paid.

No, I don’t begrudge you anything. If anything, I’m actually happy for the course that our lives eventually took. You impacted my life more than people I grew up with. You contributed to the joy of being a parent to my 3 lovely pets. And even though it was hard to understand in the moment, most of it turned out to be for the better. I am grateful for all the valuable lessons I learned as a result of being with you. And so, quite sincerely, I thank you and wish the best for you.

Sumi, 38
Gay, Cis-Man
Liquid Lounge

***rSwipeStories + ***rindia

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