LX

29/01/2024

❤️❤️❤️

28/01/2024

Having someone who inspires us to push beyond our limit makes us braver in facing the odds. I work hard in creating Heart2Speak experiences because I want to inspire people to grow into their more confident, authentic selves through Positive Psychology.

The task is BIG and MESSY and DIFFICULT, but it is IMPORTANT and NEEDED. So, here I am with my son, preparing for the days ahead. He will see his mom making waves, starting ripples of impact, and becoming a catalyst of positive change in people's lives. 🥰

26/01/2024

28/12/2023

😊

07/12/2023

🥰

"I have been a thousand different women."

This powerful line is from the poem written by Emory Hall and reading this made me feel sentimental about this year, 2023 - the year when I became a mother who overcame steep mountains to climb.

I never saw this much strength in me until now. All the experiences I had gone through - surviving a miscarriage, undergoing a high-risk pregnancy, going through a cesarian section, and almost losing my husband due to dengue, were only a few of the many encounters that came my way that catalyzed this massive change in me.

To tell you honestly, this change isn't what I imagined it to be.

In the past, I thought it would be grand, luxurious, and exciting. What I have gained though is more than that. It's serenity, peace of mind, and equanimity. It's seeing and gaining awareness that life is a process filled with plentiful joys and sorrows and the in-betweens. What lies within me now is the quiet strength that endures hardships with compassion and love.

I honor my present self for all that she has gone through to reach where she is now. I also honor all the women that I had been for they exuded unbelievable courage, relentless in the pursuit of love and wisdom.

"Make peace
with all the women
you once were.

lay flowers
at their feet.

offer them incense
and honey
and forgiveness.

honor them
and give them
your silence.

listen.

bless them
and let them be.

for they are the bones
of the temple
you sit now.

for they are
the rivers of wisdom
leading you toward
the sea.

I have been a thousand different women."

My name is Mary Jedde Busa, an advocate of positive, meaningful growth through Positive Psychology and I write this to remind all of us that we are capable, courageous, and strong.

02/12/2023

01/12/2023

30/11/2023

30/11/2023

Reading updates /

I'm currently taking my time reading this book called Think Faster, Talk Smarter written by Matt Abrahams and here are some of my personal favorite parts:

1. Acknowledging my courage to improve and elevate my communication skills.

I appreciate how the author notices the reader's awareness to improve by picking up this book. It's as though the reader is given a tap on the shoulder.

Matt understands the struggle of communicating spontaneously and it's so meaningful that he added this line. (see annotation photos)

2. Emphasizing the importance of breath and breath control in speaking.

Most of us overlook this fact. When we ground ourselves into our breath, we become more attuned to the pace of our speech or how slow/fast we talk. For fast talkers, slow down your breathing and movement so your pace in talking will follow suit.

3. Being okay with getting things wrong and abandoning the notion of communicating "perfectly".

There are no right or wrong ways to communicate but there are better and worse ways to do so. What's important is working our way to elevate our communication skills and working hard to achieve that, amidst the chaos and hurdles.

4. Gaining awareness of our mental shortcuts in communicating.

This pertains to our typical responses and ways to respond. One common example is saying, "good question", before answering a query.

5. Daring to be dull.

This has got to be one of my most favorite parts of the book. When communicating, I usually lean towards expending my energy into making sure I speak animatedly so people don't get bored.

Daring to be dull helps me ground myself and remind myself too that it's okay to be boring and objective. It's not a performance!

6. Seeing failure in a new light.

As a new mom, I can finally see first-hand how babies love experimenting as they try new things. They do so without being worried they'll fail.

"Failure suggests that we are operating at the outside of our and that we have some skills that we can acquire to better adapt to our circumstances."

❤️❤️❤️

Sharing some of my annotations in the photos. Have you read this book? I recommend this to anyone who's looking to work on their communication skills, especially when being put on the spot.

29/11/2023

27/11/2023

10/11/2023

What to do when you feel you're not good enough --

Have you ever received compliments from your boss like "Good job!" or "Excellent!" after submitting your reports or pitching in an awesome idea and yet still feel like you are not good enough?

There are some situations where I feel insufficient like I'm not doing good enough. Working abroad and being away from home has intensified this feeling of anxiety and self-doubt. I always hear people telling me to go out of my comfort zone and make the magic happen - which I did - but nobody said anything about having to face an internal conflict of whether I deserved to make the cut and land the job or I was just lucky.

Don't you feel the same sometimes?

When you receive a compliment about how well you do what you are doing and yet still fear that one day, your boss or colleagues, even the people around you will discover that you aren't really that excellent; that you aren't really that great? You may physically look confident and seem to be on top of it, however, what you feel inside is the actual opposite - it's doubt & fear.

You are worried that the reason why you were given that remark was out of courtesy only and not because you are truly good at it, worried that you only got the job because you were lucky enough, worried that in the future, they might discover you aren't really good at anything at all.

If you relate to this, you may also be experiencing "The Imposter Syndrome". When a person experiences insufficiency in themselves regardless of every good thing they have accomplished - whether it be academic, personal, or occupational - that person is said to be suffering from the impostor syndrome.

Research conducted at Georgia State University in the late '70s selected a group of female high-achievers who felt like "intellectual phonies" despite their "outstanding academic and professional accomplishments" (as cited in TheMuse Article).

So what do you do when you feel you're not good enough? Let me quickly share with you a PCCP technique that I practice myself.

Pause - for a moment, and then breathe. When I feel like the anxiety is creeping in (like literally now, as of this writing) I pause for a while - mentally and physically. What it does is it clears the brain with all the messy thoughts and gives me a clearer perspective of what is actually going on in my surroundings. I become more present rather than distracted.

Clarify - This is where I ask myself, what do I want to accomplish? How do I want to get things done? The answers to these questions will serve as my benchmark rather than asking questions like "Will my boss be happy with this?" or "What would they say about my work?" which often leads to more self-doubt and a domino effect that leads to anxiety. Clarify what and how you will get things done and get them done.

Connect - with yourself by being aware of how you feel and why you feel that way. When you recognize emotional triggers and are able to control them, it becomes easier to tame them. Do positive self-talk. Constantly remain attuned to your emotions. Catch yourself thinking negatively and stop yourself when you do.

Play - Hit that play button in your mind and resume your work feeling better, more positive, and more eager to accomplish things not only for the sake of it but for your own development as well.
In conclusion, nobody is probably immune to self-doubts.

There will be moments when we feel like we will never be good enough - for someone, at work, with what we do and who we are - so I propose we PCCP and remember that life is not perfect and it is in that imperfection that we grow.

I wish you all the best,
Mary Jedde Busa
Founder - Heart2Speak

03/11/2023

I could never forget this photo. Taken almost 25 years ago, I gave a speech to all the parents, teachers, and students in my school during its foundation day. I vividly recall the resounding applause and the bright smiles from the audience.

But what led me to this moment was more than just luck. It was effort, perseverance, determination, and most of all - practice.

No one is ever born with the skill to speak in public smoothly. It is not something that can be acquired in just a snap of the finger. As for me, I had to go through rigorous practice in delivering the speech with my Dad. Going home from school was not something I looked forward to because I knew I had to spend many hours memorizing and trying to deliver the message.

Beyond memorizing the text, I had to also stay mindful of my pronunciation, pauses, and the manner in which I speak -- with a clear voice and a confident stance. When I would want to give up, especially because this was a particularly lengthy piece, my Dad would encourage me to try and keep going as we've made good progress already.

He never fails to remind me of my improvements. Even when I needed to sacrifice playing with my friends, it all came to fruition because I delivered my piece well and it was received warmly by the listeners on that momentous occasion.

So, whenever I meet people who tell me I'm skilled at public speaking and point out how smooth and easy it looks for me to deliver a speech in public, I wholeheartedly share with them this line:

"All things are difficult before they are easy."

We have to remember that we need to choose growth, to put in the effort messy as it is, to go through the difficult, uphill climb of learning and improving ourselves, only then will we find public speaking a little less scary and a bit more of an inspiring experience.

Don't think that you have to be born with the skill before you decide to give yourself a chance to improve. Instead, actively look for access where you can level-up your communication skills or public speaking skills.

A paradigm I typically share during my Heart2Speak Masterclass is this:

"If you feel intimidated by the eyes staring at you when you are standing in the center of the room about to deliver a speech or talk if you find it scary to be judged by others, it's probably time to shift our paradigm.

Instead of thinking, what if they judge me? and freeze, think, what can I give to these people today that will benefit them?"

19/10/2023

"Believing Mirrors" are people who mirror us back to ourselves as powerful, strong, and in our most positive light. Our Believing Mirrors are valuable people in our creative lives.

Take this opportunity to recognize the believing mirrors in your life. 🥰

07/10/2023

I grew up in a household where there's little to no room for mistakes. Whenever the children make errors, they are punished. I was so afraid of making mistakes that I developed a need to constantly seek perfection and worse, crave the validation of other people. This led to my frequent self-criticism tendencies.

'Am I good enough? Will I ever be good enough?' -- these are some questions I ask myself in a loop.

Now that I'm a mom myself, I started worrying that I might pass on my trauma to my child. But reading this book by Dr. Kristin Neff entitled Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself provided me with important insights that I cherish and appreciate:

1. "Everyone is worthy of compassion."

2. "Self-compassion involves recognizing our shared human condition."

3. "Right here at our fingertips, we have the means to provide ourselves with the warm, supportive care we deeply yearn for."

As I go along the journey of motherhood and excavating my authentic self, I shall remember to practice and allow myself to be a receiving end of my compassion, to see my suffering from a vantage point of a friend. Even though it's a learning curve, but I'll take some baby steps.

I'm glad I managed to capture this beautiful moment of my baby holding my current read with me. 🥰 I believe I'm all set for Monday's talk. Have a restful weekend everyone. ❤️

06/10/2023

There are plenty of times when others notice the tension on my shoulders, as though I'm carrying the weight of the world. My jaws clenched. My body hunched. I don't even notice that I've been holding my breath for some time. That's because I take life seriously.

Here are the things I got by taking life seriously:

1. Tension
2. Body aches
3. Worries

My surroundings lacked color and excitement because I chose to tighten my grip on the things that I believe mattered a great deal. Later did I realize that there was a better way of experiencing life.

It was not too long ago that I learned how to let go of control. I learned to ride the waves rather than resisting too much. And the most difficult of all, especially if you're someone like me, is to laugh.

"If you can laugh at yourself, you are going to be fine. If you can allow others to laugh with you, you will be great."

Now, here are wonderful things I gained from laughing at myself and with others:

1. Zest
2. Lighter energy
3. Creative ideas unlocked

Sometimes, our seriousness becomes a roadblock in unlocking our peak potential! Loosen the tension on your shoulders, unclench your jaws, and relax. We'll figure it out one step at a time. 🥰

04/10/2023

"And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about."

This is an excerpt from H. Murakami that I resonate with. Having gone through plenty of storms in my life, I am grateful to have reached where I am now:

The founder of the Heart2Speak brand helping many people tap on their authentic selves,
a Positive Psychology Practitioner,
a consultant,
an entrepreneur,
a mom and a wife.

Above all else, beyond all these roles, I am honored to have found myself and finally I can say, I like me. It took me so long to say and acknowledge that.

I hope we all can find ourselves. Shifting our focus from what's wrong about us to finding parts of ourselves that we like and the parts that we appreciate.

01/10/2023

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

It is the beginning of a new week once more and I hope we give ourselves permission and some room to experiment.

I call it an experiment so that when exhibit A doesn't work out for us, we can move on to the next one and try a different approach. This way, we are outsmarting our brains. We're actually shying away from branding ourselves as 'failures' that typically leads to making us feel small and inadequate.

Here's the deal:

Often, when a mistake happens, we immediately attribute it directly to ourselves, even when there could be other factors involved. We automatically begin magnifying our deficiencies, imperfections, and weaknesses, when in reality, we are just moving up the learning curve. Thus, we find ourselves struggling and afraid to take the next step. Learning is messy and pretty much a chaotic process which involves leaning into our discomfort.

Remember, it's scary, not because we're incapable but because we have not done it before yet!

I say this based on my many years of experience as a seasoned trainer but also as a mother who takes inspiration from my baby who tries his best to learn as much as he can, and as many times as he need to and he definitely enjoys the process! 🥰

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

So get up, be your best self, and seize the day!

Cheers,
Mary Jedde Busa
Heart2Speak Founder

28/09/2023

Singapore has been my home for a number of years. As a young Filipina overseas working in a male-dominated industry, there were plenty of times when I felt intimidated. The feeling that I was thriving in my career somehow felt like a fluke, as though the stars had aligned and that I was just lucky to be where I was. Imposter syndrome at its finest.

Here are a few takeaways I learned that helped me cope with this:

1. Remember your past successes.

It is an effective way to vanquish the feelings of being an imposter. Reminding yourself that you are capable, simply by recalling those winning moments that you've conquered will make a huge difference.

2. Pray for peace of mind.

I believe this is such an underrated prayer. Peace of mind is such a special blessing that helped me stay calm despite the chaos that was going on around me -- trying to survive in a foreign country, leading C-suite participants, communicating with international companies, fending for myself after work. A single instant of downward-spiral thinking will spark anxiety so peace of mind is something I ALWAYS pray to God.

3. Seek believing mirrors.

They are your tribe. People who believe in you, who bounce back your admirable traits, and your character strengths, and who are courageous enough to correct you or to give constructive feedback. I am so blessed to have found my believing mirrors at work, and while I took my graduate diploma in Applied Positive Psychology.

These three effective tips have been proven to be successful. At least to me. As a result, I not only survived in Singapore but THRIVED too. I was one of the youngest Expert Facilitators and graduated with High Distinction in my graduate degree.

So, if you're feeling like you're not enough, or are struggling to give yourself credit for your own hard work, try these three tips.

I wish you all the best,

Mary Jedde Busa
Heart2Speak Founder

25/09/2023

From a ripple to a wave. 🌊

While struggling to balance between facilitating a big conference and taking care of my then 3-month old son, I experienced unforgettable acts of kindness from people I least expected it from.

This photo was taken in Sheraton, Manila.

At 3-months postpartum and still healing from my CS operation, I travelled from Cebu to Manila to speak for the senior leaders conference. For five days, I was often out of breath from juggling many responsibilities.

Then, I met these guys.💪🏼

--

The people you see in the photo are part of the technical team. They made sure speakers were on time, slides were presented correctly, the cues were spot-on, and any changes requested by the facilitators were delivered seamlessly -- all these on top of their other tasks. I was stationed in this area of the room because I was also in charge of creating slides and managing the app, on top of facilitating. 🤭😅

These guys couldn't leave their post, even when it's break time because they have to constantly keep watch of the screen.

--

So, in the middle of the chaos, during break, I would hurriedly grab some snacks on a plate and share it with them. Then, I would rush out again to nurse my son. 🤱

Little did I know that that act of care would snowball into something bigger that ultimately led to the great success of my double role as a facilitator and a mother.

From awkward strangers to colleagues I could count on, simply by caring without expecting anything in return. ✨

--

I will forever be grateful to these unsung heroes of any events, the tech team, for having my back during that conference! You definitely made a huge impact in its success.

When we treat each other as someone we can lean on instead of building high walls and silos, the world becomes a much better place.

Sana maging pahinga tayo para sa isa't-isa. 🌻