Junior's Journey

03/06/2023

03/11/2022

Watch it now and discover more trending videos on TikTok!

03/08/2022

😘💛👼🏼

09/14/2021

In an effort to familiarize kids battling cancer with many of the medical instruments they will encounter, ACCO provides a medical play kit to help! Kids can perform procedures on Cozy the Port-o-Cat and learn while playing. The comfort kit is designed to ease the transition for newly-diagnosed children and teens with cancer by helping them acclimate to their new surroundings and adapt to significant (and potentially traumatic) lifestyle changes. Lastly, the emotional communication kit was generously by La Roche-Posay provides kits with emotive tools designed to help kids express their feelings in a language that is understandable.

Register for these and many more free resources here: https://www.acco.org/we-can-help/

09/12/2021

Every purchase matters.

09/09/2021

Please read this!

1. I wish you would not be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was important and I need to hear his name.

2. If I cry or get emotional if we talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me; the fact that my child died has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry and thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.

3. I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing from your home his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances.

4. I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn't think that if I have a good day my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling.

5. I wish you knew that the death of a child is different from other losses and must be viewed separately. It is the ultimate tragedy and I wish you wouldn't compare it to your loss of a parent, a spouse, or a pet.

6. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me.

7. I wish you knew all of the "crazy" grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and the questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following the death of a child.

8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic. As with alcoholics, I will never be "cured" or a "former bereaved parent", but will forevermore be a "recovering bereaved parent".

9. I wish you understood the physical reactions to grief. I may gain weight or lose weight, sleep all the time or not at all, develop a host of illnesses and be accident-prone, all of which may be related to my grief.

10. My child's birthday, the anniversary of the death, and holidays are terrible times for me. I wish you would tell me that you are thinking about my child on these days, and if I get quiet and withdrawn, just know that I’m thinking about my child and don't try to coerce me into being cheerful.

11. It is normal that most of us re-examine our faith, values, and beliefs after losing a child. We will question things we have been taught all our lives and hopefully come to some new understanding with our God. I wish you would let me tangle with my religion without making me feel guilty.

12. I wish you understood that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my child died and I never will be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to "get back to my old self", you will stay frustrated. I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and beliefs. Please try to get to know the new me - maybe you'll still like me.

09/08/2021

Dear politicians,
Stop telling us what you don't like about each other and work together to help us!
This is unacceptable...
Most doctors are forced to use outdated protocols because childhood cancer research only receives 4% of U.S. federal funding for research...

09/04/2021

Only available for a limited time!
Order here: https://teezilyprint.com/childhoodcancer

08/27/2021

—
It takes a village. Join ours. ABedForMyHeart.com

Get the #1 best-selling book: “You Are the of All .” A gorgeous for . Give the of . ABedForMyHeart.com/shop

Now on Amazon! Amazon.com/shops/motherofallmothers

08/21/2021

2 years ago. I miss you so much. You were so silly, could always make me laugh no matter what. 🥰👼🏼

08/18/2021

—
It takes a village. Join ours. ABedForMyHeart.com

Get the #1 best-selling book: “You Are the Mother of All Mothers.” A gorgeous for . Give the gift of . ABedForMyHeart.com/shop

Now on Amazon! Amazon.com/shops/motherofallmothers

08/08/2021

One year ago today. I miss you so much baby😘🦖

08/01/2021

07/31/2021

This photo was not taken days, weeks or months after my son died. It wasn’t taken within the first year after his death.

It was taken today. Over 2.5 years later.

This is grief. It doesn’t expire or come with an end date. It cuts through your heart and seeps to the deepest spaces where it will reside for a lifetime.

Holding your child’s lifeless body one last time...your brain trying to process the unimaginable while your heart is trying to memorize every detail of their face, their hands, their scent. This moment will never be erased from the memory. This is an image carried forever. It shows up unexpectedly and unannounced. Year, after year, after year.

We all have what we call “our season”. For those who have never experienced losing a child, their season is a favorite time of year because it’s their choice weather, carries their interest of activities, they enjoy the smell in the air or look forward to a special holiday.

When a child loss parent mentions their “season” it is much different.

Our season does not make us excited. It is something we dread instead of look forward to. It is a time period we want to skip. Put us in a coma and wake us when it's over. Our season comes with onset anxiety and PTSD. The smells and temperature of our season remind us of birthdays that will never happen, the memories of our sweet angels when they were with us on earth and the worst day of our lives.

During our season it takes everything out of us to keep going. We are emotionally exhausted. We are distant to everyone in our lives. We do not always respond to texts, emails or answer calls because it’s too much right now. We stay in more, declining invites we would normally say yes to. We don’t have the energy to fake the smile and pretend life is great. We are forgetful and unreliable.

Our season is full of broken dreams and questions we will never have the answers to. The what if’s, what would they look like, what would they be doing now.

Each year we have hope the next one will be easier. But it isn’t. It’s always the same, it’s always hard.

When our season passes a weight is lifted and we catch our breath thankful it is over. Shocked we survived once again.

If you know someone going through this be patient and kind. Expect nothing from them. If they cancel plans at the last minute do not be angry with them. Don’t take their actions (or lack of actions) personally. It‘s not you. They are using every ounce of strength they have to find their way through the darkness and back to the light. This is exhausting and they don’t have the energy for anything else.

My season begins very soon. You could say I am in the pre-season phase...I feel it coming. Almost a month away from what would have been a 3rd birthday. Thinking about it knocked me to my knees today, the anxiety suffocating.

But there is a difference between this year and last year, and the one before. This time I know it’s not going to be easier. This year I am accepting it and not fighting it. I know what's coming. I know what it does to me. I have learned and understand what my limitations are during this timeframe of my life.

I am going to stand still allowing it to hit with full force, a tidal wave crashing into me. As I lose my balance I will fall. I‘ll let the wave of grief wash over every inch of my body and hold my breath until it’s over.

When it has passed I will rise. I‘ll stare at the sun setting in the horizon and remind myself, it hurts this much because you love him so much. I wouldn't trade that love for anything. Not even to take away this pain.

07/26/2021

A grieving mother with PTSD fell into a hole and couldn’t get out.

When a family member walked by the grieving mother called out for help, but the family member yelled back, "Suck it up, dig deep and drive on," then threw her a shovel.

The grieving mother did as she was told and dug that hole deeper.

A friend went by and the grieving mother called out for help again.

The friend told her "use the tools your family has given you", then threw her a bucket.

The grieving mother used the tools and she dug the hole deeper still and filled the bucket.

A psychiatrist walked by.
The grieving mother called, “Help! I can’t get out!” so the psychiatrist gave her some drugs and said, "Take this.

It will relieve the pain and you will forget about the hole.”
The grieving mother said "thanks" and followed his advice, but when the pills ran out she was still in the hole.

A well-known psychologist rode by and heard the grieving mothers cries for help. He stopped and asked, “How did you get there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness.”

So the grieving mother talked with him for an hour, then the psychologist had to leave, but he said he’d be back next week.
The grieving mother thanked him, but she was still in the hole.

Another Grieving mother, just like her, happened to be passing by.
The grieving mother with PTSD cried out, “Hey, help me. I’m stuck in this hole!” and right away the other Grieving mother jumped down in there with her.

The grieving mother with PTSD started to panic and said, “What are you doing? Now we’re both stuck down here!” But the other Grieving mother just smiled and replied, “It’s okay, calm down, I’ve been here before..... I know how to get out.”

No matter what you're going through, you are never alone. But don't be too proud to SHOUT OUT!, ‘HELP I'm stuck in this hole’ …...

We all get stuck in a hole from time to time but all it takes is to ask your fellow grieving mothers for help and we will be there even if we have to jump in that hole with you.

Written by another grieving mother ❤️

07/20/2021

Someone shared this today and I felt the need to pass it along... much love to all! 💕

I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry, as I just sat and stared, dry eyed. They struggled to find words to say, to try and make the pain go away, I walked the floor in disbelief, I lost my child today.

I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away, some still call and some still stay. I wait to wake up from this dream. This can't be real. I want to scream. Yet everything is locked inside, God, help me, I want to die. I lost my child last month.

I lost my child last year.
Now people who had come, have gone. I sit and struggle all day long. To bear the pain so deep inside. And now my friends just question, Why? Why does this mother not move on? Just sits and sings the same old song. Good heavens, it has been so long. I lost my child last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.

I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."

Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The song’s the same, as is the rhyme.
I lost my child... Today.

July is Bereaved Parent’s Month. Let a know you care, and you’re remembering their precious child. 💛🎗

Admin x

07/14/2021

So tired of listening to people telling me what I should and should not be doing. How I should or should not being living my life. Especially people that have NO IDEA what I am going through.
From now on if you can’t except my grief, my loss, my heartache than please exit. I will grieve how I see fit. I will remember my son how I see fit. No one has the right to tell me to move on.

03/11/2021

If you can please support this family by purchasing a shirt. Another child diagnosed with cancer, another family hears the words “your child has cancer”. This child attends my children’s schools and is apart of an amazing community. Show your support and show your love. 💛🎗🙏

JOIN THE of our very own Little Aggies at Ruth McGregor Elementary was recently d...

02/17/2021

Today makes 5 months since you grew your angel wings. When I say five months I think how little time that has been but how long it feels too. Feels like forever since I got to hold you, hear your laugh, see your smile, your touch, your hugs and kisses, snuggles, see your silly faces, and hear the silly things you would say. You were always trying to get people to laugh. Miss you more than you could ever imagine my sweet boy. In my heart you will remain until the day I can hold you again.

02/15/2021

INTERNATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS DAY!
This is one of many videos I took when I started noticing something was wrong. I had to start taking videos because no one would believe me. Just another over reacting, over worried mom. I started to question what I was seeing and feeling. I think what people fail to realize is that we are their mothers, we are their voice, we spend 24/7 with these little ones. We know them better than any one else ever could. Always listen to your gut and your heart. Push and advocate for your children, even when no one listens. My baby had showed three of the warning signs for childhood cancer. Limping, irritable, and a worried mom. Know the signs and trust in yourself. 💛🎗

02/15/2021

Today is International Childhood Cancer Awareness Day. A day when individuals and organisations worldwide work to raise awareness of childhood cancer.

Knowing the signs and symptoms of childhood cancer could help save the life of a child you know. If you can, please like, read and share. You are also welcome to tag friends on this post.

The Grace Kelly Childhood Cancer Trust is determined to make this information available to as many people worldwide as we possibly can.

This may well be the most important information that you will read today.

Do you know the signs and symptoms of childhood cancer?

and
International Childhood Cancer Day

Make September Gold - Childhood Cancer Awareness

01/11/2021

🎗💛🤗👼🏼

12/31/2020

This was so hard to read because every part of this is true.

I was feeling exhausted and emotionally spent when I stepped into the shower. As the hot water washed my tears away, it hit me. The variations of happy.

12/25/2020

My Dad 💔

12/22/2020

This is the 2020 Grace Kelly Christmas video honoring all the children that are fighting and all the angels. These children are all affected by rhabdoid tumors, this rare and aggressive cancer has taken too many lives. Please just take a moment to honor these warriors this Christmas. Thank you 🤗💛🎗👼🏼
Jr is featured in the video. I believe it’s the third slide very first picture.

12/18/2020

12/18/2020

Never thought a Christmas picture like this would be in my future. We sure do miss you so much baby! But, I can only imagine how magical Christmas is in heaven with all of you beautiful angels!