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03/02/2025
Ah, the golden age of suburban warfare, when toilet paper and eggs weren’t just breakfast staples but also weapons of ch...
01/02/2025

Ah, the golden age of suburban warfare, when toilet paper and eggs weren’t just breakfast staples but also weapons of choice. There was a time when driving through town the morning after Halloween (or just a particularly rowdy Friday night) meant seeing at least one house absolutely mummified in toilet paper, with eggshells clinging to the siding like some kind of bizarre battle trophy. It was just part of the scenery.

I remember walking to school and passing that one house, you know the one. The poor soul who got on the wrong side of the wrong teenager. Their oak tree looked like it had been wrapped up for winter, soft strands of Charmin swaying in the breeze. And the eggs? Oh, they were there. Splattered on the garage door, dried to a crusty orange in the sun, forever marking their place in suburban history. Some houses had toilet paper remnants hanging on for weeks, fluttering in the wind, slowly unraveling like nature’s way of keeping score.

But the other day, I realized… I don’t see it anymore. No TP’d houses. No egg-streaked driveways. Not even a rogue shaving cream message on a windshield. And for a second, I felt bad for today’s kids. Do they even know the joy of waking up to find their sworn enemy’s house looking like a winter wonderland of two-ply? Do they understand the careful art of the overhand egg toss? I was genuinely puzzled—why did this stop?

And then, It clicked.

Of course. The Great Supply Chain Struggles of the 2020s. The dark days of TP rationing and egg inflation. We used to have so much of the stuff that we wasted it on petty grudges. Now? A 24-pack of Charmin is basically a family heirloom. Eggs are practically liquid gold. What kid is going to risk their mom finding out they wasted $7 worth of organic, cage-free revenge on some guy named Kyle?

And so, like landline phones and Blockbuster Friday nights, the noble art of house vandalism has faded into history. A relic of a more… abundant time.

30/01/2025

Come on in and join us! Experience what out Wednesday night calls are like in the Joy Academy community. typically these meetings are private, so this is your rare chance to join in.

The best version of you, is who you decide to be in this moment.
27/01/2025

The best version of you, is who you decide to be in this moment.

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