Kaya Kirks

27/06/2024

AI is still dumber than a bag of rocks. Taking a brief techno detox as I get my accounts reinstated. Then maybe awhile longer just for kicks. That is all…
💗💗💗

01/05/2024

It may be tempting to thank you and eat up all of those pancakes you cooked up…. But that would be a false way to behave. Manufactured joy. Cheated intimacy. Genuine gratitude for the loving thought but pretty much disgust for the actual physical thing.
😅

Anyone who actually knows me will tell you what genuinely gets me excited and jumping for joy. A raw cream cacao drink with egg yolk. A piece of fresh fruit and a bottle of spring water. A sprouted quinoa waffle with nut butter. A seeded loquat wrapped in a dandelion leaf. Doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive.
🌱🌻💧🍒🥬

In fact… the more wildcrafted you get, the more excited I will be. I think this is why I never really loved the birthday party thing. Because nobody knew what I actually wanted. That’s always been on me. Celebratory gatherings are great. They are good for your soul. But only if you bring your soul with you to the party. 🙃

Dopamine is a cheap trick. Steady energy and a happy gut are my truest form of fulfillment when it comes to what I consume. Lots of trial and error brought me to this realization and I think I’m finally ready to share some of my journey.
💕💕💕💕💕

Over the next 30 days, I will be celebrating my commitment to the health and happiness of my inner child…. otherwise known as my gut. Four weeks of lifestyle transforming glory to starve the parasitic consciousness and nourish the regenerative energy of co-creative fungus, bacteria, etc housed within my body.
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Just in time for my half-birthday celebration! Maybe I’ll make up for the healing crisis I experienced on December 19th of 2023…. With things that genuinely light me up. We could watch my favorite movies….. La Belle Verte, Fight Club, Raya and the Last Dragon. We could eat my favorite foods….. soups, salads, teas. We could engage in my favorite activities….. barefoot hiking, squirrel watching, wild edible hunting.
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But I’m going to have to show up for myself and clear these cobwebs from my gut brain axis before that will be any fun. And so I Will. Hope to see you there!!!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

01/05/2024

I’ll often avoid sharing my intentions with others in order to “protect” my energy from their judgements, beliefs and triggers. It just leaves me in a mindset of separation, paranoia and self-protection….. increasing my stress levels and disconnecting me from my deeper values and intentions. The desire for congruency between who I am and how people see me almost inevitably leads to self-sabotage. Some deep part of me just wants to be seen as unthreatening….. visible yet blending into the background.

This is when I consume things that inhibit my own sense of self-respect. Eating that popsicle that leaves me with headaches, brain fog, fatigue, irritability, dehydration and a slew of predictable repercussions that in no way equal the brief moments of peace and connection they might bring. Smoking that legal frakenhemp from a friend’s business that leaves me with headaches, brain fog, fatigue, irritability, dehydration and a slew of predictable repercussions that in no way equal the brief moments of peace and connection they might bring. Drinking that cocktail at a friend’s birthday party that leaves me with headaches, brain fog, fatigue, irritability, dehydration and a slew of predictable repercussions that in no way equal the brief moments of peace and connection they might bring.

This always leaves me bitter towards those who normalize the widespread availability of processed, high-glycemic, toxic, brain damaging garbage all across the “developed” world. And even more bitter towards myself for falling into the numbing comfort of the mainstream narrative. Unchecked, this bitterness generating personality will create an infinite loop of self-sabotage, denial, excuses, blame shifting and desperation. Just ask that early 20s version of me. Fully connected to my spirit babies yet perpetually held back from manifesting this new earth reality due to the equally present spirit of fragmentation and disempowerment.

It really does help to realize that my spiraling development over the last 10 years has actually brought me into a state of much more consistent health, happiness, self-respect and practical progress than I ever could have predicted at the start. Who knows what kind of exponential change is in the works if I keep at it with the forgiveness, openness and optimism that have become almost a default mode of operation. Every deviation becomes a lesson and an invitation to grow stronger. The resistance fades. The karma neutralizes. The inner call comes knocking… gently. Patiently. Expectantly. Confident in my commitment. Unfazed by setbacks. With complete reverence for divine timing.

In a strange way, this is what I prayed for all those years ago. To become so integrated and real that I could be the bridge between heaven and earth that modeled self love for her family. A part of me always thought that force was necessary to achieve something…. but that’s only because it’s the only way we know down here in this time and place. Now I can see the potentialities spread out wide ahead of us. New ways of doing and being that could be seen as terrifying or exciting. A kind of transparency that equaled exile or psychological torture as children that now offers what can only be described as true freedom.

Tomorrow, I will share what I’m getting at. Something that matters to me. I wish to be seen in the process of pursuing my truth no matter the consequences. Because I know the consequences of living behind a different mask for each and every environment. Because I’m tired. Because I know there are others out there who are tired but just need an example to prove that the risk may be worth the reward.

🤞🏽

30/04/2024

01/04/2024

WombMen
/woo͝m′ən/

noun
1. Individuals who regard the heart as their highest authority and source of wisdom.

“The experts said that world health and hunger crises could not be solved through regenerative, small-scale family farming, but these WombMen decided to follow their guts instead...”

😘

22/03/2024

Acknowledging the tension that your body holds from the physical, visceral, biochemical experience of being an unwanted pregnancy is vital when it comes to the process of releasing it. Being dismissed, invalidated or blamed for your normal and natural response to this reality causes many people to give up on growing and changing before they can take any real responsibility for their lives. They often end up feeling fundamentally incapable of perceiving their reality and defer to the opinions of others at every turn only to lack any peace or satisfaction at all.

Fear of triggering others causes us to police our own inner child healing process before it can even get off of the ground. But this has nothing to do with them or anyone else. This is about individuation and healing from codependency and enmeshment. You are connected to your family in some ways but your sovereignty is the origin of your limitless potential to heal and serve the world to your highest potential.

You are not the stories of your past AND at the same time you are definitely not a freak if you never felt safety, comfort, joy, etc in your first few homes. Some people are good at hiding their pain and some people got “lucky” but that doesn’t mean that there’s anything fundamentally flawed about you.

Unplanned pregnancy is an enormously charged subject, so we often skirt around or avoid it entirely. But just like s*xual violence and other uncomfortable but extremely common experiences, brushing the conversation under the rug helps no one. Making someone feel unseen puts them into a victim’s mindset which hurts everyone involved. The only way to change the world is to prevent those victim-headed adults from gaining positions of power. Not by fighting them but by healing them through our example. If you are inspired by this perspective, YOU are the reason I rejoined the land of the virtual. I didn’t realize you existed for the longest time. You taught me all about tears of joy. Thank you for reigniting my faith in humanity.

The vast majority of us fall into the category of unwanted, so it feels so incredibly important that we unveil this reality in a cocreative way alongside all of us internet folk. What do you think?

20/03/2024

Your body will be your first home and your last home……

What kind of biochemical and psychoenergetic soup were you sitting in as an embryo????

If it was anything like most of us… shock, fear, guilt, anger, confusion, remorse, panic, desperation, shame, defensiveness, grief, depression, embarrassment, misalignment, despair, pain, conflict, sadness, loneliness…..

This is where most of us found ourselves during the formation of our central channel.

The chronic tension in your jaw and pelvis are speaking to you of unaddressed primordial pain.

Just waiting to be seen, heard, felt, witnessed, experienced, processed, released.

Change your relationship with this somatic memory and absolutely CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!

Because you take your body EVERYWHERE!

Lookout for offerings to assist you in this rewriting of the past and in the meantime…. Just breathe.

Nature’s first and foremost medicine.

You’ve got this beautiful human.

Happy homemaking!!!

✨🤗✨

09/03/2024

Your lineage witnessed horrors. I don’t care who you are. But never try to validate their suffering with your own. Go out and make their spirits proud. Transmute that s**t. Their little reactive ego minds are no longer with us…. and you never owed them that type of validation in the first place. Honor your ancestors by honoring your descendants. We can do it. I believe in you. 🌿🙏🏼💗🤗✨😘🫶🏼🌲🌸

04/03/2024

Think of what starlight
And lamplight would lack
Diamonds and fireflies
If they couldn’t lean against Black. . . .

Mary O'Neill

02/03/2024

Been thinking a lot about desire lately. Most people treat it like a dirty word…. like the monster under the bed who’s about to take you down. And this makes sense if what you know of desire comes from a completely desperate and dysregulated space.

Take the time to tune in and feel the emotional momentum of your past dramas and traumas. Love those parts of yourself without feeding them. Learn to decipher between your reactive subconscious emotions and your response to joy/intuition/growth.

One will have you hiding under the covers with a case of Swiss rolls, a s*x toy and a bottle of vodka. And the other one, well……….. It will absolutely change this world. We need you and your reasons to get up in the morning. We need your red hot desire to grow things, build things, connect things, conceive things….. Your calling is calling. Will you answer the phone????

🌸🌻🌺🌷🌺🌻🌸🌻🌺🌷

Desire literally means de sire, “of the father,” and wether or not you believe in God, your desires were bestowed upon you when you became your earthly self, along with other distinctive you-type things like your face and your personality and your affinity for needlcrafts. They are unique to you, they define the essence of who you are, and they act as the road map for your life. Your desires were given to you by the Universal Intelligence that created everything in existence with the express purpose of being carried out by you in your lifetime. -Jen Sincero

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01/03/2024

When we operate from a place of Mind Over Matter, we lose sight of the beauty and complexity inherent within us. We each have 3 brains, and we could not do this life thing without all of them working together. Thinking only from the mind will have you running in circles without ever coming to an understanding of WHY. Because some truths go beyond the mind. You will only step into your true potential once you learn to lean on ALL OF YOU.

Give your Gut the nourishment it deserves. Love on it. Listen to it’s feedback daily. Massage it. Feed it the best life has to offer. Invest in it like your own precious child.

Bring the shadows of your Mind into the light. Sit still enough to observe the movements, patterns and dramas that pass by without distortion. Turn your mind space into your most sacred temple.

If your Mind or Gut start to give you input that feels yucky, run it through the Heart. It will tell you what you genuinely feel to be true when no one else can. Develop a relationship with your Heart. Trust it. Respect it. Thoughts and Instincts have nothing on the intuitive Feelings of the Heart.

Ask it what motivation is truly moving me into action here? Is it shame or insecurity? Fear of death or debt or exile? Revenge? Survival? Distraction and numbing the pain? If you don’t address your motivations, the fruits of your labor just might turn out quite different from what you expected. Turn over all of those stones… unless you want a real funky looking turnip. 🙃🤣😅😁😉

We are the Man, the Child and the Dragon working as one to co-create all that we love and all that we fear. So treat that heart space like your vision board. Get to transmuting those things that don’t serve. Build up what you love. And keep going with the kind of faith that only you can gift yourself. A faith in the Heart. YOUR HEART. Happy Venus Day eve babes 🤗🤗🤗

28/02/2024

Detachment is easy to talk about. Often a desired or respected trait. Sometimes feared. Always awe inspiring. But I don’t think that many people truly understand how you get there. It isn’t all sunshine and roses and rainbows and butterflies. It can be that too, but there is honestly no easy road to peace. Not that I’ve witnessed anyways.

When somebody tells me that meditation “doesn’t work” for them, I should start asking “what do you mean by that?”….. Because if you mean that you aren’t washed over with perspective and peace and ease the first few times you sit in vipassana, I can garuntee you that it is in fact ”working”. When you finally stop running from where you are, you’ll find yourself exactly where you’ve been attempting to run away from this whole entire time. In your bulls**t.

You have to move and stretch and experience your body before you can sit still in a fully present manner. You have you move and stretch your spirit and question all of the stories of your mind. You will be confronted with every insecurity, every trauma, every breach of trust, every toxic pattern, every untrue “truth”, every overdramatization, every fear, every false assumption, every issue stored in your tissues, every chain holding you back, every speck of self-doubt, every bit of feeling forsaken by the Universe…. ALL OF IT.

You have to FEEL. Maybe you think that the pain of the past was soo bad and so unfair and so evil that there’s really no other option but to push it down, to deny it or to logically think through your feelings. As a bodyworker and a human being, I can tell you one thing…. You take your feelings EVERYWHERE with you. No matter what you plaster on your face or what words you speak or how you present to the world… it’s always right there with you. Just under the surface. And that dark energy will find a point of release wether or not you consciously choose what that release looks like.

If you’re truly committed to healing… if you truly wish to show up as your best self for your loved ones…. if you truly desire to grow up… just ask. Earnestly. Bravely. Faithfully. And then remember that you asked for this, because the storm will come. The avalanche of dismissed reality will come pouring into you and into your life. The ocean does what’s needed overall, not what our tiny limited ego islands think we need. Make space for her. Learn to love her. Unconditionally. As you wish to be loved.

People scream and cry and moan. People feel the numbness or the weight on their chest or the panic that starts to bubble up stronger and stronger before it can become integrated and pacified. We tell ourselves (or finally admit to) the crazy, dark stories our insecurities convince us to believe. We receive painful or lust inducing visions of the future or memories of the past. We hold that desperation tighter than ever before until we know we can no longer do anything but release.

We hurt. A lot. More than you thought you were capable of experiencing. And we came out the other side hallow. Fresh. Open to everything and expecting nothing. Because when you’re broken open so deeply you think you might bleed out, there’s nothing left to do but believe in the grace of god. And that will come in, probably at the very last moment…. When you’ve given up on the hope of redemption. When you just want the truth so badly that you’re willing to look all of your fears in the eye. When you’re willing to put your sense of survival on the line just to get closer to it… the truth. The human experience with no sugar coating. The timeless truth of the body.

And like a small child experiencing a momentary upset…. we cry and scream and feel and then…. we get up and keep on walking. Keep on playing. Keep on enjoying. Never identifying with the past. Mindset focused on growth and creativity. In the present. Because that terrifying energy of emotion did what it was always here to do. And in learning not to reject her, we learn how to stop rejecting ourselves.

27/02/2024

When we are overly attached to the things that we love and appreciate in the world, our subconscious starts to run on a track of fear/lack/rejection/loss. I sometimes call this the “boy with a butterfly” effect. When we cling to the beauty we witness and to the connection we crave, those very things that we are appreciating start degrading. In holding onto the memory of receiving a blessing, we begin to crush the very fabric of that which we hold dear. Sometimes this process is so brutal that the butterfly requires lots of time and space to heal. Sometimes, remedying those broken wigs could take a literal miracle.

If we are fortunate enough to realize this underlying energetic process, we still may resist letting go fully and stepping into the present moment. This is totally understandable, common and forgivable. Let yourself off of the hook for being who, what and where you are. We cannot force allowing because those experiences are opposite ends of a spectrum going in totally opposite directions. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

If you want to release an attachment to a person, place, thing, belief, pattern, etc… but fear the potential “loss” of something valuable……. If you aren’t quite sure what you truly need/desire but feel drawn to shake up your perspective or try something new in order to find that clarity… here is what I suggest. Ask…

“Hey Spirit, can you hold onto this for awhile and I‘ll let you know if and when I’d like it back…”

Growth doesn’t need to be self punishing or forceful. In fact, I would say that taking yourself and your insights so super seriously is going to work out to your detriment. You don’t know everything. But neither does anyone else. Remember that middle road. Remember that equanimity. This is a co-creation. All of it. So never dim your light. Never rush external factors you cannot control. And never say never. It’ll be all right. We are all just walking each other home.

With love and open palms,
Kaya

26/02/2024

When you grow up in an environment where hyper vigilance is the norm and moments of peace or connection only serve as an opportunity to catch your breath before the tsunami returns….. a strange mentality is nurtured and established. You keep it pushing, you become hyper empathetic, your caretaking becomes a process of controlling the environment and others, you do what you have to in order to protect your body… your sanity… or both.

But if you ever come into a space of safety and security… if you ever direct that can do attitude into strictly guarding your needs, desires and safe spaces… if you peel back layers and let stagnate emotional energy through… you will find yourself standing there with an entirely new problem.

Maybe this is the very first time you’ve walked through the world on neutral. Maybe you’ve only caught glimpses of the possibility in the past. Maybe your nervous system has never known safety like this. Maybe you start to feel…. okay. Socially engaged. Genuinely calm… not just because you’re in shutdown mode. Quiet, calm and loving INSIDE as well as on the outside.

And then it comes… TERROR. SHAME. GUILT. CONFUSION. PARANOIA. Guilt some more. Shame some more. How can this be allowed? Why was this secret kept from me my whole life? Why doesn’t everybody heal? This cannot be allowed. When is somebody going to come through, start a tantrum and demand an audience? When am I going to abandon myself again? When am I going to be used or manipulated because I’ve let my guard down? Will my wellbeing inspire envy or insecurity in others? I don’t want that. Did somebody slip some drugs into my herbal tea?

I mean, nothing is going particularly fantastic or particularly terrible today. There should be a certain level of neutrality in my state of being, right? But no… wait! That was never actually neutral after all. Your entire frame of reference for life has been shifted to one side. It was… essentially… a lie. A necessary lie. A survival based lie. A temporary and needed band aid. But a lie nonetheless.

If I had walked around feeling this level of contentment in my day to day life……. I seriously doubt that I would’ve been such a suicidal kid. It’s absolutely insane to me. Boggles my mind. THIS. This is what God had planned for us? This is what life is? Just going through the motions of mundane reality feeling deeply connected, inspired, juicy, filled with the kind of joy that makes you involuntary sing and dance in gratitude. Take risks gladly. Jump in fearlessly. Rest shamelessly. Tidy up sensually. No way. Just absolutely impossible. The whole world tells us otherwise…. save for a very small number of tribes around the world who are scoffed at as “primitive”.

But it’s real. The KinDom of heaven is in your mind…. and by extension your nervous system. It always was. It always will be. Just patiently waiting for you to return to your birthright. So if you are ever lucky enough to find yourself in such a predicament… go easy on yourself. It makes sense how you are feeling. It’s only human. But you are so much more than that too. Remind yourself that you are a beloved and that all of this, every bit of it, is for love. For the uplevelling of humanity. Breath that vision in. And exhale that shame. Because it was always the lie. You are safe. You are loved. You are free. 🙏🏼💗

24/02/2024

Just your daily reminder to laugh so hard that sticky grass tea comes out of your nose!!!! Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Even burns calories. Something for everyone!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Happy Venus Day beautiful people!!! Value is everywhere. Just go out and find it. Create it. Discover it. Do it. Be it. And have fun while you’re at it. Otherwise, what is the point?

22/02/2024

They say perspective is everything……… I tend to agree. It’s always best if we ourselves initiate the shift in perspective. That ensures it’s alignment and sustainability. But I feel that people are generally spot on with this little bit of advice.

Things shift and change so fast these days that I can hardly count on one truth before it gives way to a radically altered and higher version of that same truth. A blessing as well as a curse. It is so easy to start resisting. But as the beautiful and amazing Anna Goldenlight always says, SHIFT HAPPENS! And I don’t see that slowing down anytime soon. In fact, I hold a strong suspicion that this party is just getting started.

Frequencies activating at a speed never before seen on this planet for as long as you’ve lived. Positive and negative potentials manifesting more quickly. Pains and pleasures dialed up to 11. Your power as a creator coming back online on full display. A reckoning that can be navigated as suffocating or liberating. The key here seems to be….. GRATITUDE. The highest state of mind there is. One you may choose at anytime. The only cost is a dash of humility and a sprinkle of receptivity. A high yet easily accessible price to pay.

Today, I am reminded of the PEOPLE I am grateful for. This is a tough one for me to navigate as a recovering people pleaser and ass kisser. But that doesn’t change the fact that the humans in my life have absolutely been huge players in my growth and evolution. Today, I honor that contribution.

Thank you to the girl who taught me how to stand up for myself. The one with a soft heart and a hard shell crafted through necessary discernment &/or the goggles of pain and trauma.

Thank you to the woman who brought me into the world and initiated me into the ways of wild womb men. The one who dreamed of becoming a dancer when she grew up but never had anyone to buy her ballet shoes.

Thank you to the man that taught me what unconditional love can look and feel like. The one who taught me the value of work… of co-creation.

Thank you to the boy who taught me the value of art, music and community. The one who was never the same after he woke up in the hospital that fated day……..

………..TBC✨✨✨