06/05/2020
Well worth the read
I wish someone had told me before I got married that it’s not like it is in the sitcoms or the movies. I was 24 years old. I knew so little about marriage. I thought I knew a lot. I knew I was in love. I knew I wanted babies. I knew I wanted a home and dogs and my own cute little family just like I had pretended with my dolls when I was younger.
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I wish someone had told me before I was married that your spouse has the power to make you feel like the most wonderful, important, special person in the world. But that he/she also has the power to make you feel completely and utterly alone, like you are so insanely misunderstood and underappreciated, it’s heartbreaking.
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I wish someone had told me that “hard” isn’t exactly synonymous with “bad.” I thought for a long time because it was hard, that maybe we weren’t meant to be together. I thought fighting meant divorce. I didn’t realize that, like all things, anything worthwhile takes damn hard work and determination.
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I wish someone had reminded us during the hard times to laugh at ourselves and to stop taking it all so damn seriously; that fun is just as important as work. That feeling alive and young and giddy with excitement should be there just as much as you get older and age together as it was when you were young. That it’s ok to laugh at each other and ourselves, and that sometimes we need to leave everyone else in the world behind and just reconnect. EVERYONE….kids, family, co-workers, friends….to put “us” first.
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I can’t go back and tell myself or Adam this. But we can share what we’ve learned; the struggles we’ve had and the tremendous laughter we create together, and say, “we are all on this crazy, HARD, mysterious, scary, ridiculous, but WORTH IT adventure together. They say, if there’s something you want that doesn’t exist, create it. So, that’s what this podcast, Marriage and Martinis, is about.... It’s us, Adam and me, coming together as a couple who knew nothing and is still learning, but who is trying still to make the best of it: to laugh, to cry, to grow, to keep working at it, and share what we wish someone had shared with us. For more real and raw, click the
