23/05/2021
"A Truckers Time"
Sometimes there are people in your life that just make life more fun. Through performing crazy stunts or simply making ordinary mistakes that can lead to dire consequences. This is no exception when it comes to Nathan Stiffler. (sorry in advance, Nate…)
It was summertime and I decided to make the drive from Virginia to West Virginia to visit Nate. All was going well for the first couple of days until we decided to go to the local lake and kayak. We loaded up Nate’s truck (a combination of rusted metal stuck together with some super glue and duct tape, along with an engine thrown somewhere in the mix) with the two kayaks.
“Why don’t you guys bring some water, it’s really hot outside.” Nate's mom advises us.
(it was 97 degrees at this time.)
“No, we’ll buy some sodas on our way there.”
Was our reply.
We head out the door, grabbing the cooler with the ice packs that was intended to hold our sodas.
Nate's mom yells one more time, “I really think you should bring some waters with you.”
We reassure her that we’re good, as we jump in the truck. As we head out, we pass a gas station.
I ask Nate, “Should we grab some sodas there?”
“No, no,” he assures me, “There is another gas station on our way there.”
“Oh, okay.” I reply.
After all, this is Nate's home and I’m pretty sure he knows where everything is. (or so I thought) Nate punches directions into his GPS and we drive on…or up. Now folks, this is WV, so driving up and down mountains becomes no big surprise, until you go up for 15 miles. Trees, dust, and an occasional old house that is plunging down to the ground, was the only thing to be seen. We drive for about 20 minutes and I look over towards Nate,
“Hey man, where’s that gas station?”
Nate replies, “Um I don’t know, I thought it was near here. Let me look it up on the GPS.”
He does just that and we follow it like our lives depended on it. Once the road went from a two lane to a single lane, to a no pained road to finally a dirt road, our hope remained in a coming gas station. But once the road turned into a 4-wheeler road, this raised concerns. The GPS really took us on a 4-wheeler road filled with rocks big enough to kill a deer and tree branches tumbling into the road all wanting a taste of the little paint Nate’s truck still had. The truck barely fit on the road. His poor mirrors were inches away from disaster and the tires were certainly filing complaints. After some crazy driving on Nate's part, our hope sparked when the road finally dumped us on a paved road. Our destination, thanks to the GPS, was an old, abandoned house. I guess the old house was once named a gas station. We both decide just to forget the sodas and just go the lake. We eventually find the main road again and begin to make progress when we see a lady beside the road. We both look at each other. This lady was nicely dressed and drove a Subaru. (A clear Northerner.) Once we saw her, we both figured she was just taking in the view of the south or something. Without slowing down we just zoomed by. Bum-squash, the noise of a turtle getting flattened by nate's truck. We both just stare at each other in silence. It was at this point that it finally hit me. The lady was about to remove the turtle out of harms way and here we are killing it. Now listen people we not only killed it, but we squashed it. It was completely flattened. I will never forget the woman’s face; pure horror.
After that drama of an experience, we arrive at the lake. We kayak for a couple of hours. By now we both are tired and very thirsty. We paddle to the shore, throw the kayaks in the truck, and turn the key; nothing happens. After a couple of gallons of sweat, a couple of bang and wangs of a wrench, Nate come up with the conclusion; we need to have his truck jumped.
“Can you go ask that person for a jump?” Nate sheepishly asked.
(Apparently this soon to be pastor is not one to talk to strangers, maybe this should raise concerns I don’t know)
Either way I reply with, “Yeah, I can,”
I walk over to this Asian dude. I ask for a jump, and the man happily pulls out a battery box, legit no bigger than a remote. Nate and I both glance at each other but are kinda forced to use it because there was no other choice. Not to our surprise it did nothing. We should have guessed this guy didn’t have anything that would work. Considering, he pulled up in electric truck and started blowing up his electric boat with his electric pump. Electricity and Nate’s rusted truck aren’t really a good match. (I know they say opposites attract but electricity and the truck might be to far apart.) Either way, we wait a little longer and a ram truck pulls up. I ask him instead for a jump. It works! We both jump in the truck and take off. By now it has been three hours in intense heat with no water and we were thirsty and tired…. but mostly thirsty. We drive for a little bit and Nate makes the comment.
“Man I need water, Though, I think our problems today are finally over!”
But oh, was he ever wrong! We drive back up the old dusty road away from the lake. Ten minutes of driving and the truck for no reason it just dies. We sit in silence, trying to figure what just happened. Nate reluctantly gets out of the truck. After, the process of popping the hood and taking a look. The conclusion was his battery was simply dead. But we are far from giving up. Fifteen minutes of sitting in a 97-degree truck, another truck pulls up and we stop him and ask for a jump. He looks skeptical and tells us while he jumps the truck, to just use the little battery he’s giving us to just pull over and wait. Now please remember my good people that Nate and I had a cold cooler in the back with no water in it. In pure shame we put the cold packs over our necks and throat to make having no water bearable. It kinda worked. We did find a year-old bottle of water in the back of his truck. Granted it was turning green and looked like someone dropped it from the moon. It was bad enough to where bets were made to drink it. (neither one of us could bring ourselves to do it.) We had earlier called Nate’s mom. His mom’s voice sounded, when answering the phone, as if saying,
“Honey I told you to bring water.”
She thankfully doesn’t say that though but reassures us that she is on her way Twenty minutes later, she shows up, (with water)! Both Nate and I down two bottles of water and both of us begin our third. We charge the battery and drive back home with them following behind us to make sure we make it back.
In conclusion, there is a lot I could say here, but I think both Nate and I learned our lesson. Don’t rely on a WV GPS; if the road looks sketchy it’s because it is, and if it is 97 degrees outside bring water!
