Two Mom Friends

07/12/2024

Choose the parts that bring you and your family joy!

What is must do and what you are saying nope to this year?

I am the santa, the elves, and the magic.

I am the delicious smells, the stuffed bellies, and the Christmas spirit.

I am the twinkle lights, the clean bathrooms, and the mistletoe hanging in the doorway.

I am the stories, the advent calendars, and the reminding what Christmas is really about.

I am the greeting cards, I am the coordinator of gift exchanges, I am the christmas pajamas for the night before.

I am the traditions, I am the baker of all treats, I am the buyer of last minute presents that were forgotten.

And now I’m tired.

I am mom.

It’s not something my husband or my kids put on me, it’s my own deal. It’s also a tinsel covered baton handed down from generation to generation of women. As a kid I just thought the warm fuzzy feelings I felt on Christmas morning “happened”.

Now I know that the magic happens because someone is working their ass off, and now that someone is me.

The other day I stumbled upon someone’s Christmas list of todo’s online and the list about gave me an anxiety attack. It wasn’t anything I haven’t seen before, and it wasn’t anything that hasn’t been on my own mental list. I also know that some people thrive off of powering through the holidays like a Christmas fairy godmother. If that’s you, I salute you, but I’d rather hide under my bed that do all of that.

It caused me to think, what is important to me and my family and what isn’t?

I’m sentimental. I love to see my kids’ eyes light up when they see the tree. I LOVE buying gifts for my kids and I’m possibly more excited than them when it comes time to rip them open. It makes my heart explode like Will Farrell with Christmas spirit.

I love watching Christmas movies and eating cookies with sprinkles.

I love Christmas drinks and Christmas food.

Christmases were always special growing up and I want to recreate that magic for my kids, but I don’t want to sacrifice my presence for facilitating a perfect holiday. I don’t want to work myself so hard I make myself sick (I’ve done that).

I want to be there too. I want to enjoy it. I want to breathe it in and laugh because I’m not stressed about getting the floor swept. I think that actually matters to my kids more than if I made homemade cinnamon rolls.

The gift I want to give myself this year is the gift of saying NOPE.

The gift I want to give my family is the gift of saying NOPE.

The gift I want to give is the gift of myself being present instead of stressed.

We get to choose what we will and won’t do.

We don’t have to be a part of every gift exchange.

We don’t have to make every dish under the sun for Christmas dinner.

We don’t have to rush our own Christmas morning to call family who is far away.

We don’t have to buy our kids everything they want or what their friends might be getting.

We don’t have to make that last minute run to Target (speaking to myself here) because we’re suddenly worried there’s not enough stocking stuffers.

We don’t have to send a gift to every person we love. I LOVE GIVING GIFTS, but when it starts to become a financial and mental strain I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s missing the point.

I have no plans to be the grinch or to cancel my favorite parts of Christmas because it’s too much work, but I do plan to give myself permission to say NOPE to the things that don’t bring me (or my family) joy.

Christmas magic is really about the being together, isn’t it? It’s about the cozy morning (or evening) filled with generosity and thoughtfulness. Maybe it’s handmade gifts, maybe it’s not. It’s about staying in your pajamas as long as possible. It’s about having strong coffee because you stayed up too late wrapping.

It’s about being present.

If you want send gifts to every then do that (and huge props btw), if you want to make an extravagant dinner then do that, but the magic is what we make it, and we get to choose.

I surrender to these holidays whatever they may look like.

They will not be perfect, because folks, I’m no longer going to try and make them that way.

Merry Christmas Mamas, let’s enjoy the holidays this year.

Love,
Jess

04/12/2024

Sick days are for sleeping, snuggling dogs, and watching Who Killed JonBenet Ramsey.

So, who thinks it was the parents??

I’m in the they didn’t do it camp.

03/12/2024

How many elves are too many elves, you ask?

3. 3 elves is too many effing elves.

A backstory:

My oldest first “real” Christmas (her birthday is December 20th so her first Christmas was kind of a wash) we did the good parent thing and got an elf named Hermie. Hermie was a good elf and didn’t get into much mischief; he just moved to a different spot every morning. Silly Hermie…

Fast forward several years and 1 more kid later and I was in panic mode trying to find the damn elf the night before. Panic. Sweats. Swearing.

“I’m going to have to get a new fu***ng elf. Oh! Once Upon a Child closes in 20 minutes- I can make it!”

Cue more panic, sweats, and this time under the breath swearing at 7:55 pm at the store since NONE OF THESE HOMELESS ELVES LOOKS LIKE HERMIE!!! FUUU….

Cut to the next morning.

Me: oh my gosh! Look! There’s a note!

Dear Kevie and Carter,

Hi! I’m your new elf! Hermie said such kind things about the two of you and I’m so excited to be part of your Christmas! Hermie was such a good elf he was promoted to teach at Elf College to teach other elves how to be the best elves they can be! Now, I need a name!

Love,

Your elf

Am I the most brilliant person in the world? Probably.

Welcome, Lemon.

Fast forward again to end of November 2024. Kaia (my 4 year old) comes with me to Once Upon a Child and I told her she could pick ONE thing she wants. After begging for a bike “YOU SAID ONE THING! THIS IS ONE THING!” she decided she wanted to adopt another elf so Lemon could have a friend.

Cool. Sure I’ll move two elves and create more anxiety for myself. No problem.

Welcome, LaLa.

You still with me? This lore is a long one.

My almost 11 year old found out about Santa this summer so this is her first Christmas helping with her siblings.

Something to know about my oldest daughter; she be doin’ too much. She over does her lies and makes it over the top.

“Kaia! I have elf Vanessa on the phone! She is going to be coming to our house and be our elf! Here, talk to Vanessa!” Her friend Vanessa talks in an elf voice to Kaia as I look at Kevie (my oldest daughter) like da fuq you doin’?!?!”?

Kevie found Hermie. So, Hermie is back in our group as Vanessa.

So, here live Lemon, LaLa, and Vanessa.

I can barely do 1 and now we somehow have 3.

F**k.

03/12/2024

The mental load is invisible and it gets heavier this time of year! Remember to be kind to yourself

Mommy Cusses by Serena Dorman

23/11/2024

I am grateful for my mother in law who helps me out in a similar capacity on weekends for the past 9 years. And I am looking forward to when I can provide this for my adult children and grandkids!

When my mom came to visit . . .

She cooked all of my favorite meals.

She spent hours playing with my kids.

She went to the store and stocked us up on laundry detergent and toilet paper and paper towel.

She took our dog for a walk.

And somehow the house was completely spotless.

My mom always makes it look so . . . easy.

Every single time she visits.

Not only does she do it all, but she does it with so much JOY.

I won’t lie—at first I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Was I missing something? Why couldn’t I take care of my family the way my mom took care of my family?

I think I said something along those lines to her once, out of incredulity and a little bit of envy, when she turned to me and stopped me right there.

This is the difference, she reminded me, between mothering a child, and mothering a mom.

Right now, I’m smack dab in the middle of mothering children. Every day is devoted to caring for them and making sure they are happy and healthy and safe. Every day I get them up, get them dressed, get them fed, get them to school, get them to appointments, get them to activities, get them to do their homework, get them ready for bed. Every day I am responsible for not only their physical needs, but their mental and emotional ones—I help them regulate their feelings, soothe their worries and fears, mediate their disagreements, teach them boundaries, and show them how to interact with the world around them.

On top of all the other things I have to do just to keep our household going.

My mom is done mothering this way.

It’s why she gets to do the fun stuff. It’s why my own kids can get away with things I never would have dreamed of doing. It’s why she can shower them effusively with affection and gifts and overlook all of their quirks and faults and have energy left over to take care of everything else, too.

Because she’s not the one responsible for making sure they eat their vegetables. She doesn’t have to be the disciplinarian. She doesn’t have to clean my house or cook all the meals. She doesn’t have to fulfill every one of my children’s physical and emotional needs every single day.

So when she comes to visit, she does all the things for us.

Joyfully.

Because she remembers so vividly what it was like to be a busy mom to little children and how demanding that could be. She remembers how hard it felt, how long the days were, how exhausting it was. So if she can ease that burden for me even a little bit, she won’t hesitate.

And because, well . . . it’s easier to do it all when you don’t have to do it all, all the time.

But MOST of all, I know it’s because she loves me so very, very much.

And even though she may be done mothering children, now she gets to mother a mom.

04/11/2024

Being with childhood friends feels like home.

They know you better than most people in your life. They know what makes you you.

It’s a relationship you don’t have to work at because when you get together you’re able to just sink into comfortability and pajama pants.

You laugh.

You cry.

You live in the “remember when” knowing the moment you’re in will later become one of your “remember when”.

They love that you’re too much and, let’s be honest, kind of obnoxious while the world sees that trait as negative.

You can say the weird thing because they are probably thinking the same thing.

There’s a you that only they can see and while your husband, mom, etc. may know you as well as they can, no one will ever know you like those childhood friends you keep into adulthood.

02/11/2024

Your girl started going to therapy again.

I’ve only been to her 4 times including the intake but I have learned so much about myself just in those few sessions.

Turns out a lot of stuff I’m working on are things LOTS of women/moms are struggling with.

Therefore, I want to share some of the things I’m learning.

“Recharging yourself is VITAL. VITAL. VITAL means nonnegotiable.”

You can’t go with no days off. It doesn’t matter if you work or are a stay at home mom you are always working.

You can’t keep going like this. You’re already in burn out and if you don’t recharge and take “you time” you are not being the person your kids, your job, your husband needs. The person YOU need.

Let go of the guilt for doing what you need to do for you.

Self care is VITAL. Never let anyone make you feel bad or guilty about that. You need it like you need water.

-Brittany

02/11/2024

Yes, hello.

Please stop what you’re doing and I need someone who has tried this to tell me right now if this is delicious because, um, I think I need.

01/11/2024

It’s go time.

Do the big thing.

This is the sign you’ve been looking for ✨

✌️❤️✨org

01/11/2024

Can’t let the day get away without wishing our Christina a very happy and amazing 39th birthday!!! 🎉 you deserve the best!!

31/10/2024

Happy Halloween!!! Good luck getting the sugar filled kiddos to sleep! Luckily tomorrow is a pajama and half day!

30/10/2024

✨✨Pro-Tip✨✨

keep clothes to donate in your van for weeks so no one can ride with you and avoid small talk and continue your one woman concert.

“Oh, I’m sorry I can’t have anyone else ride with me, my van is full. Darn.”

24/10/2024

This is your sign to make that therapy appointment.

You deserve to be the best version of you.

If you already see a therapist; girl, take your meds.

22/10/2024

One day he won’t say, “mom! Oh my gosh the sky looks BEAUTIFUL! We need to take a picture together with the sky!”

One day I will be able to relax with coffee in the mornings.

One day I won’t have to scream, “We have to go! Why aren’t your shoes on your feet?!?”

One day I won’t have to choose between being late and “mommy I want snuggles”.

One day I won’t have to curse myself for not going new season clothes shopping for 3 other people.

One day I won’t be touched out and constantly overstimulated.

One day I won’t have to wake up an hour and a half early to make sure everyone is ready for the day.

Until then, I need to stop what I’m doing to take a requested selfie with my sweet little boy in front of a pink sky and soak in the now.

20/10/2024

You don’t realize what a disgusting human you are until you clean out your can cabinet 😬

15/10/2024

This is not a drill.

Run to your closest convenience store and grab you several packs of these 😍

Fire.

12/10/2024

Cartoon theme songs that are actually bangers…
Spidey and his Amazing Friends

12/10/2024

As we’re sure you know by now- we love Macie Renae Coaching and This Is Not Your Practice Life podcast! Go listen to her podcast, write a review and enter!

⭐️ IT’S GIVEAWAY TIME ⭐️

It’s super simple to be entered to win! Simply go to my Facebook business page Macie Renae Coaching and leave a WRITTEN review sharing:

1. How my coaching has helped you if you’ve been a CLIENT of mine via 1:1 coaching / my group programs / or freebies.

OR

2. How my podcast, This Is Not Your Practice Life®️has helped you if you’re a frequent listener. 🥰

Thats it! Easy Peasy!

One Winner will receive:

💛$100 Amazon Giftcard

💛 4 weeks of FREE Private 1:1 coaching + a FREE Emotional Intelligence Assessment.

💛 If desired, $1,000 to go towards enrollment for The EQuipped Society Program or The 2025 St. George, Utah Women’s Coaching Retreat.

This giveaway is not sponsored or affiliated with Instagram or Facebook.

Winner to be announced Nov 1st!

🚨 Must be a {written} review + you must be following my Facebook business page {MACIE RENAE COACHING} for it to count! Good luck!