29/07/2024
**Title:
"The Great Internet Shutdown of Budland"
**
Once upon a time, in the mystical land of Budland, there existed an autocratic government led by King Blunderbuss the Incompetent. King Blunderbuss was known for his love of self-serving policies, his affinity for ridiculous mates and his inability to find matching socks. But his crowning achievement? Shutting down the entire internet.
Yes, you heard that right. The entire internet. Gone. P**f. Like a goblin with a bad case of hiccups.
Now, you might wonder why King Blunderbuss decided to pull the plug on the digital world. Was it to protect national security? To prevent the spread of cat memes? Nope. It was because he believed the internet was stealing his precious brain cells.
(Never mind that he had about as many brain cells as a jellyfish)
The citizens of Budland were baffled. They'd grown accustomed to binge-watching goblin cooking shows, ordering alien-made gadgets on SpaceBay and arguing with strangers in the comments section. Suddenly, they were thrust into a dark age—a time when people actually had to talk face-to-face. The horror!
But fear not, dear reader, for our story takes a twist. You see, aliens from the planet Byteotron had been observing our country for eons. They found our internet utterly fascinating. So when they heard about the shutdown, they decided to pay Budland a visit.
The Byteotronians arrived in their spaceship—a sleek, chrome-plated saucer with Wi-Fi faster than light speed. They looked like a cross between octopuses and disco balls, with neon-colored tentacles and glittering antennas.
"Greetings, puny Budlings!" announced Arsh, the leader of the Byteotronians. "We've come to negotiate. We want your internet back."
"But why?" asked Mayor Bumblebrain, scratching his head. "What do you need it for?"
Arsh adjusted his sparkly bowtie. "We're addicted to Budland memes. 'Distracted Idiots,' 'Two women yelling at a Cat' 'Firing marshmallows at the educated' — these series, they're our guilty pleasure."
"But King Blunderbuss thinks memes are a waste of time," said the mayor. "He believes in fake handwritten scrolls and carrier pigeons."
Arsh raised an eyebrow—or whatever passed for an eyebrow on an alien disco ball. "Your king is an idiot."
"Agreed," said the mayor. "But how do we convince him?"
And so, the Byteotronians hatched a plan. They disguised themselves as goblins (because goblins were the least intelligent creatures in Budland) and infiltrated the royal court.
"Your Majesty," said Gobbo the Alien Goblin, "we've discovered a magical scroll that can restore your lost brain cells. It's called 'Foogle.'"
King Blunderbuss perked up. "Foogle, you say? Sounds fancy. Fetch it immediately!"
Gobbo led the king to a hidden chamber, where a giant computer awaited. The screen displayed a single word: "SEARCH."
"Type anything you desire," said Gobbo. "Knowledge, wisdom, cat videos—it's all here."
King Blunderbuss furrowed his brow. "I shall search for... 'best idiots that monarchs hire.'"
And so, the king clicked away, oblivious to the fact that he was accessing the forbidden internet. Within minutes, he was watching a tutorial on how to befriend a super intelligent idiot. His brain cells multiplied like rabbits on caffeine.
Meanwhile, the citizens rejoiced. The internet was back! Memes flooded the streets. Even the goblins got in on the action, creating their own: "Goblin with a Bad Hair Day" and "Two Buttons, One Brain Cell."
As for the Byteotronians, they bid farewell to Budland. "Thanks for the laughs," said Arsh. "And remember, stupidity is universal."
And so, dear reader, Budland thrived once more. King Blunderbuss ruled with newfound wisdom (and a snazzy posse). And the aliens? They continued their meme addiction, occasionally sending Earthlings cryptic messages like, "LOL" and "BRB."
And that, my friends, is how an autocratic government inadvertently saved the internet, one idiotic decision at a time. 🌐👑🤪
