The StepMama Chronicles

11/07/2025

One day.

Sometimes I need to remember : it won’t always be this way…♥️⁣
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We won’t always have the custody schedule guiding our lives. We won’t always have to communicate with the ex or feel her presence in our home. My stepson will grow up and our concerns will shift. I’m looking forward to the days when he’s coming to visit because he wants to. I want to hear about his mom’s choices and not feel the fear of how it will impact mine.⁣
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I look to my husband’s stepmom for this reminder because seasoned stepmoms know…just because the kids are grown doesn’t mean stepmom life is over or “easy”. But damn I’ll be ready for the change in scenery because my current concerns are getting old and I’m tired. ⁣
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I aim to validate my current feelings but remind myself that this is temporary. It’s soothing to focus on the future, but I don’t want to wish time away. It’s the conflict of staying present but hopeful for the day I’ll wake up with my husband and it will JUST be the stressors of OUR home.⁣
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Be gentle with yourself now and know it won’t always be this way, mama. ⁣
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Who needed this reminder? ⁣
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11/07/2025

11/07/2025

Literally

11/06/2025

Dear Stepparents,

No matter how open, loving, and honest you are with the other parent, sometimes… they just aren’t going to like you.

You can show up to every game, help with homework, pack lunches, make Mother’s/Fathers Day gifts, and still, a certain type or “co-parent” will find a reason…. to HATE YOU.

You can be the one making sure those kids are fed, cared for, hugged, and supported… and it still won’t be enough for someone who’s already decided you’re the enemy.

You could be a church-going, animal-loving, community-serving, child-advocating stepparent with a heart of gold… and still, in the eyes of someone fueled by resentment, you’ll always be painted as the villain.

And as much as that all sucks, you need to remember that their idea of who you are is irrelevant.

Because ….

Your responsibility is to YOUR home.
To YOUR marriage. To the children who live under your roof and feel YOUR love every day.

You are not responsible for other people’s narratives about you. You are not obligated to explain your heart to anyone committed to misunderstanding it. You are not obligated to beg, plead or chase acceptance. And you absolutely do not owe anyone access to your peace just because they’re uncomfortable with the role you play in YOUR HOME & FAMILY.

Let them talk. Let them twist your name in rooms you’ve never stepped foot in. Let them push what ever WEIRD narrative they want to complete STRANGERS while seeking desperate approval and justification in their own masked and targeted wrong doings.

Because their behavior will always say far more about them than it ever will about you.

The truth is…. projection is real.
Real pathetic, real sh*tťy, & some real nasty stuff…

People who can’t stand their own reflection will try to break yours. People who are threatened by love they can’t control will always find a way to hate it.

So when you find yourself being the target of someone else’s insecurity, bitterness, or unhealed pain, don’t match their energy.

Pray for them.

Because they’ll need that grace a lot more than you ever will. And that’s the truth they refuse to see when they face the mirror every single day.

So when you finally learn a persons behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you… you learn exactly when and where to give grace, but stand firm on boundaries… because I can give you grace and put you in your place in the same breathe, especially when it comes to MY family.

11/06/2025

In need of feed back!

I love to engage with my followers BUTTTT I feel like I don’t get a lot of communication. What would you all to like see or do?? 🫶🏼

11/06/2025

Ever get blamed for how you reacted, like the way you were treated didn’t count?
Like somehow, your pain became the problem instead of what caused it?

That’s one of the most common ways people avoid accountability. Instead of acknowledging how their actions affected you, they shift the focus to your reaction.
Suddenly, it’s not about what they did — it’s about how “dramatic,” “emotional,” or “overreactive” you were.

This is a form of emotional manipulation. It’s a way to make you doubt yourself and question whether your feelings were even valid.

Over time, it can make you internalize guilt for simply responding to being hurt. You start thinking, “Maybe I should’ve stayed calm,” or “Maybe I’m the problem.” But the truth is, no healthy relationship should make you feel like expressing pain is wrong.

Your reaction isn’t the issue — it’s a reflection of your boundaries being crossed, your trust being violated, or your emotions being dismissed. People who truly care about you don’t focus on how you expressed your pain; they focus on why you felt it in the first place.

When someone genuinely wants to grow, they don’t get defensive. They listen. They take responsibility. They care more about your experience than their ego.
Remember this: being hurt and reacting to that hurt are not the same thing. One is a cause, the other is a response. Don’t let anyone convince you that your emotions are the problem just because they don’t want to face their behavior.

You’re allowed to feel. You’re allowed to react. And you’re allowed to hold people accountable for the way they treat you.

11/06/2025

Literally.

11/06/2025

Don’t worry. I’m the FBI I will find your bf/gf. Even if you don’t tell me their name 😉 anywhoooo.

11/05/2025

🙏

11/05/2025

Good morning Gang! As an adult child of a narcissistic parent, my decision to go No Contact wasn’t met with resistance. At all. However, that side of the family of the family has always been under that narcissist’s spell.