Caden’s World: Spectrum at Play

01/26/2025

I can understand why some fidgets get labeled as "toys" -- or worse, "distractions" -- and taken away from kids who need them. It's because they're sold in bulk and trendy and seem like fun to all kids, not just kids who need a fidget to focus.

Fidgets -- sensory tools for tactile (touch) or movement needs -- are the obvious thing that comes to mind when talking about "sensory tools". But there are lots of other things that could fit this description, too. You might even use some yourself without thinking about it: maybe you twirl your hair around a finger, chew gum (or your lips or fingernails!), or begin doodling on the margins of a paper as soon as you have to sit still for a meeting or class.

There are lots of in-body sensory processing functions that happen without us even thinking about them. Sitting with a foot tucked under the body (rather than at sharp ninety-degree angles) provides a little extra proprioceptive input to the joints of the body. Chewing lips or fingernails provides tactile (touch) and oral input. So when is an actual, external, sensory tool needed? These are the questions to ask yourself in order to decide if a sensory-processing-related behavior needs to be changed, and how to choose the tool to change it.

Is it necessary?

I once had a referral for OT services. The teacher was concerned because a 5-year-old was "showing sensory-seeking behavior". When I drilled to figure out what they meant by that, it turns out that he was fiddling with his shoelaces. I asked if the shoes were coming untied and if they had tried double-knotting them. They had, and the shoes were not coming untied. I struggled to think of another reason why this would be a problem and finally just asked, "So what is the problem?" They didn't have an answer. It wasn't a problem, they just saw him fiddling all the time and jumped straight to thinking that sensory-seeking itself was a problem!

So, could I have found that child a fidget to replace his shoelaces? Yeah, probably.

Would that have been any better? To give him something that other kids might think was a toy, could take away from him (or he could offer to them), thereby possibly causing classroom distraction? And something that he might lose or misplace or not have with him when needed (as opposed to his shoes on his body)? Nah. Doesn't seem worth it to me. It wasn't necessary: no tool choice needed.

But I've also had children referred to me because their coping strategy of choice is to, say, pick at their skin until it bleeds, or chew holes in their shirt until it comes apart. So in those cases, we can say yes, it's necessary, and that takes us to step number two...

Is it similar?

A lot of well-meaning parents and teachers will try to educate themselves about sensory processing difficulties. They'll read some blogs or some Facebook posts, they'll see something, and jump on it -- usually whatever is popular or a fad at the time. Child is chewing holes in their shirt? Well, I've heard of this new thing called "Chewelry" -- chewable, silicon jewelry -- and that sounds great!

For some kids, that kind of a swap works just fine. For others, it super doesn't. Hard, rubbery silicon does not feel the same against the lips and teeth and tongue as soft, cottony shirt. And if it's not similar enough to actually meet the need that someone is subconsciously seeking out, then they're just going to ignore the replacement solution and stick to their original coping strategy.

I had a girl on my caseload years ago, when I worked in a setting for children with very high support needs. She was routinely scratching at her cheeks until they bled. Her team (educators, parents, etc) tried all kinds of serious bandages on her face, making sure her fingernails were always clipped, giving her things to scratch against like scratch-n-sniff stickers, etc. A lot of the assumption was that the "need" she was trying to meet was the need to scratch, i.e., a need located "in" the fingers (as a sort of way to think of it, not a literal statement).

With careful supervision, we tried something new: we gave her a blanket/lovey to hug and rub against her face that had a section of poky velcro, the "hook" side of hook-and-loop. It almost completely eradicated the behavior. Again, there was very careful supervision because she could theoretically have scratched herself enough with the velcro to continue to cause damage, but she rarely did, and we made sure it was a very small section of velcro so that she could seek out that very intense sensation of scratching against cheek without doing as much damage to her actual skin. This shifted the idea that the need was "in" the fingers to "in" the cheek -- she wasn't seeking *to scratch* so much as seeking *to be scratched*. (Again, that's not a literal statement, but a way of visualizing what our replacement tool was going for.)

So assuming a replacement is necessary, and we've found an option or several options that are similar. The last question is, is it collaborative?

Getting the child's participation and buy-in into their own care and life is obviously a powerful tool at all times. Who doesn't want autonomy over their own life?

Some people hear "collaborative" and think "we just need to ask the child what would work for them." This might help sometimes. Sometimes, a child doesn't know what would work for them, or can't verbalize it, and that's okay too. We are the professionals (or, at very least, we are the adults with access to professionals!)

Foisting a new replacement tool on a child with no warning and expecting them to use it appropriately, or expecting them to take to it or enjoy it, doesn't always work out that way. Even worse -- sometimes I've seen a child be given something and expected to treat it with gratitude like it's a gift! And then if they struggle to use the new tool, or don't like it as much as the old one, the adult gets angry or grumpy about it.

Think of it like a tool, not a toy. It is sometimes hard to learn to use new tools you've never used before. It is hard to break old coping strategies that have worked reliably (yet still need changed for some reason, as we determined in point #1).

Imagine the way that you like to fall asleep. If someone told you that they were going to change all of your preferred sleeping methods -- if you sleep on your side it's going to change to your back, or stomach, or vice versa; you had to use a new, differently-shaped pillow of different thickness; you were going to have a nightlight on or off, and white noise on or off (depending on how you currently sleep); your sheets and blanket were going to be replaced with wholly new ones and your mattress with a different kind...all of those changes might technically be "good", or at least equally fine, but they also might still annoy or frustrate you as you tried to get used to the new normal. You might find yourself rolling to your side, and needing a (gentle and patient!) cue to sleep the "new way".

It's the same with our children who need a new sensory coping tool for some reason. And if you get collaboration, or enjoyment, or enthusiasm from the process, it makes it that much easier -- and puts them that much more in control of what their body needs throughout their life.

[Image description: A close-up photo of a "pop it" type fidget -- silicon bubble wrap to pop back and forth -- with words over the top of it that read, "When choosing sensory tools for a child, ask yourself...
Is it necessary?
(Is there a reason the child's preferred or default behavior needs to change?)
Is it similar?
(Does the replacement tool replicate the thing the child liked about the original sensory strategy?)
Is it collaborative?
(Do you have the child's buy-in to make the change?)
The image also has my watermark on it, . End description.]

01/26/2025

12/08/2024

What does it mean to say, “Healing developmental trauma does not make an autistic person more typical”?

If I do trauma therapy while living in an environment that is unsupportive of my autistic body’s needs, I may experience trauma. (This applies to any type of trauma therapy, including nonverbal treatments.)

It is important for us to reduce the symptoms of autistic trauma, but if we try to do that in a space where connection and acceptance is systematically denied from us, we will have an intensely painful experience of rejection.

Being denied connection because of our differences is a core trauma wound for most autistics. For many autistic people, our trauma blocks are protecting us from this pain we have experienced so many times before.

When we remove the protection of our trauma blocks, we must have appropriate support. Appropriate support for an autistic person requires an identity affirming approach as well as accommodations and support for disabilities.

If trauma interventions are offered to autistic people from within the medical/pathology/cure model, we are simply setting autistic people up for re-traumatization, fragmentation, and increased mental health problems.

Living on the right side of this list is not sustainable long-term for any autistic person. The symptoms of autistic trauma are a significant threat to autistic health and survival…. When autistic people seek help with trauma symptoms, it is important for care providers to know that healthy autistic people can have significant support needs. A reduction in trauma symptoms does not mean a person will become more independent.

This reality is scary for many of us because society measures our worth by our independence. Since that isn’t going to change tomorrow, we need refuge spaces where we can interact with other neurodivergent people and experience acceptance are essential for trauma recovery. We also need non-autistic people to help us advocate for better social supports and policies that meet us where we are.
For more explanation of this image, check out the longer blog post here: https://www.traumageek.com/blog/autistic-traits-and-trauma

The Neurodiversity + Trauma study group is a collaborative community learning experience where we get to talk about this type of topic and more!
Details here: https://traumageek.thinkific.com/courses/neurodiversity-and-trauma-study-group-3

12/06/2024

Rocking is my mom favorite and I love to spin!!

Most people — not all, but most — find rhythmic vestibular sensory input to be soothing.

Rhythmic: regular, repeated, predictable.

Vestibular: having to do with your inner ear, your sense of balance and movement. It is based on the motion, or lack of motion, of fluid inside of your inner ears. You can imagine human beings having a little tiny cup of water inside of each of their ears. If the activity would make water move, shake, or slosh around, then that’s the vestibular input that activity is causing. (It’s a little more complex than that, but that’s a simplification.)

Rhythmic input is usually rocking, spinning, swinging, moving in a predictable and repeated way. The imaginary little cup of water inside the ears would be moving predictably, the waves of water going back and forth in soothing, rhythmic waves.
Babies will often fall asleep on car rides, when being rocked, and may enjoy being bounced when carried. Their adults often instinctively bounce them and shush them when they fuss and feel unsettled. They are being settled by rhythmic vestibular input. (Also love and touch and emotional connection but I’m focusing on one thing for this post.)

Children often love to swing. Some children may spin around in circles, sometimes just standing on their own feet, sometimes on playground equipment, office chairs, or toys. On a long road trip with lots of highway driving, children may be lulled to sleep by the car. Or on a steady plane flight without turbulence. Rhythmic vestibular input can be very soothing.

Adults are often still soothed by rhythmic vestibular input. Think of the stereotype of a grandma sitting on the porch in a rocking chair! My partner and I stayed on a houseboat once and I slept like an absolute dream being gently rocked by the boat. Some adults still like to swing on larger swings or porch swings. Running can be a rhythmic vestibular activity for people who have practiced it for awhile and can get into a good pace and a state of “flow”. Even gently swaying my office chair back and forth while I work, or rocking back and forth on my feet while I talk, is rhythmic vestibular input.

Most people—not all, but most—find irregular vestibular input to be very alerting.

Irregular: sudden, jerky, unpredictable, movements.

If the imaginary little cup of water is getting sloshed wildly instead of smoothly, jerking around and splashing, that’s irregular vestibular input.

Sometimes “alerting” means that the person hates it. It might make them feel uncomfortable or even sick. Sometimes “alerting” means that the person loves it. It may make them feel delighted, amped up, silly, or energetic. Irregular vestibular input makes most people’s nervous system be on higher alert. That can feel good or feel bad.

Babies and toddlers might cry, scream, or resist being tipped backward for a diaper change. It’s an irregular movement (not predictable, not rhythmic) that is alerting their brain. It makes them feel unstable and insecure and like they are falling. Their system is alerted, and with that flood of alerted energy, they resist.

Babies and toddlers might laugh and scream and delight in playing games that involve tipping back, or bouncing on your knee and then suddenly “falling” (safe in the arms of their parents); the sudden, irregular vestibular input alerts their system and floods it with delight and excitement.

Babies and toddlers might cry disproportionately to the amount of actual pain or injury when they’re suddenly knocked over or trip on something. They might be physically totally fine in every way, but their system was overwhelmed with a jolt of alerting sensations and the release of it is crying as they process the sudden, unexpected movement of falling over.

Children might get off the bus for school in the morning already disgruntled and overstimulated. The jostling and bumping of a much larger, longer, bouncier vehicle has set their system on high alert, leaving their senses feeling raw and irritable.

Children might seek wild forms of movement in play like somersaulting, cartwheeling, rolling around, spinning and stopping and spinning. It can seem to “amp them up” instead of “calm them down” or “get their wiggles out”; when they began to play, they might have been emotionally ready for the rough-and-tumble movement play but not actually physically alerted yet, but the sudden quick starts and stops of roughhousing movement actually alert their system, making them seem like they’re getting even wilder.

Teens and adults might enjoy (or loathe) rollercoasters, spinning rides, going upside down, etc. It might make their bodies feel terrible (🙋🏽) because they feel alert and under threat, ready to defend from the threat. Or it might make them feel great, exhilarated, delighted.

Vestibular input is extremely potent and powerful. Sometimes people love and crave the alerting sensation but it doesn’t actually seem to make them feel better to get endless amounts of it. (Just like other things people can love and crave.) This happens in my job sometimes, where a kid, for example, adores spinning but makes themselves sick, so high energy they become dangerous to themself, or tearfully dysregulated by spinning so much.

Sometimes pairing vestibular input with proprioceptive input — deep body pressure input — can help; for example, spinning for a short while, and then sitting with a weighted blanket or getting a long, squeezy hug while the imaginary “cup of water” stills itself back down. Or swinging for awhile, and then doing some big jumps on the trampoline, rolling up as a burrito in a blanket or burrowing into a pile of stuffed animals.

[Image description: A bright, colorful yellow, pink, and teal background with splashes of watercolors. Over the top of it it reads, "What is vestibular sensory input?" End description.]

12/03/2024

11/27/2024

11/20/2024

Yep yep

Many Autistic people are not lacking in social skills. Get a bunch of neurodivergent friends together and watch the magic happen.

Many of us are not lacking in humour or sarcasm. The funniest people I know are neurodivergent. Our humour may be different to yours.

Many of us have so much empathy that the feelings try to crush us. We might express that empathy differently to you.

We communicate. Our communication style is probably different to yours.

It’s not that we don’t have these skills.
It’s that we do them differently. They look different.

And they’re often unrecognisable to neurotypical folk.

As Chloe Hayden says, ‘different, not less’.

Em ☺️🌈✌️
AuDHD SLP

11/17/2024

11/13/2024

11/13/2024

My favorite is happy flapping!

Ever noticed someone clicking a pen, tapping their foot, or humming a tune?

That's stimming – a way many autistic individuals manage their feelings and deal with all the sensory stuff coming at them.

NeuroBears shines a light on understanding these behaviours, recognising them as part of the unique ways autistic people navigate their surroundings.

11/12/2024

I’ve been donating to support We Get It Foundation through RoundUp App. Join me and sign up today to change the world one penny at a time: https://roundup.app/p/WeGetItFoundation

In the spirit of giving and leading up to the end of the year, please consider assisting We Get It Foundation families in the following ways:

Purchase a book for a child this Christmas: https://www.amazon.com/registries/gl/guest-view/N5YF9B404YVN

Pledge $5 monthly to We Get It Foundation using RoundUp App: https://roundup.app/p/WeGetItFoundation

Donate to the organization or directly to the Hazyl Diaz Scholarship for the Arts: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ZGCLUXFNLJKK2

Donate a car to We Get It Foundation: https://careasy.org/nonprofit/we-get-it-foundation

Venmo the organization:

Donate a space for a future event or anything else: [email protected]

____________________________________________

Desperately needed items to support current and future families:
(Contra Costa County Specific)

Plastic Folding Tables
Laptops/tablets for students
Bikes for kids
Ice machines for classrooms we support
Christmas dinner donations for families
Outdoor wooden playhouse
More, please just ask us as there are many families we support and that our CEO supports through Advocacy that rely on us to assist.

10/28/2024

This analogy helped me to first understand gestalt language processing. Hope it helps you, too!

Gestalt processors are often called “intonation babies” for a reason. They pick up on the intonation / emotion of language far before the individual word units are recognized.

🌟 If you’re looking to learn more about gestalt language processing, or working with students who use echolalia, check out my website bohospeechie.net! I have handbooks, short courses, blog posts and more!

10/13/2024

Round Up and Donate your change to support a nonprofit organization. The RoundUp App makes giving effortless. Plus, there are no upfront costs, unlike other donate your change apps. Join 300+ nonprofit organizations on the waiting list to use this mobile fundraising tool.

10/10/2024

NeuroBears Cubs is now available to buy!

This course is designed for autistic children under 8 to explore their identity in a safe and engaging way.

With sensory-focused content and fun animations, NeuroBears Cubs provides a positive foundation for self-understanding.

Learn more and purchase at www.pandasonline.org