Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver We're a dynamic duo of sisters sharing our caregiving journey w/ a mom & a spouse - the good, bad & funny! She’s the peacekeeper. She’s the athlete. Our rock.

The Original Sisterhood

Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. The reb

el responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the school bus stop. After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing most of her time on their care and activities. The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years. In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan. Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey. In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope. And this is just a glimpse of this trio past and present - caregivers by default doing their best to do the best for a mom and a husband. We hope you'll join our journey as we confess the good, bad, and downright funny of our caregiving adventures.

Today is a good day.(See yesterday’s post for the full backstory.)Today, we took mom to the edge — the very worst of her...
11/20/2025

Today is a good day.
(See yesterday’s post for the full backstory.)

Today, we took mom to the edge — the very worst of her Parkinson’s disease. We had to stop her medication.

Why? To start the new pump — the tiny half-size device that gives medication 24/7 — we had to clear the old meds from her system. Otherwise, the risk of over-medicating was high. And what does that look like?

Hospitalization. Hallucinations. Paranoia. A true nightmare. In 2019, it lasted two months.

The edge came fast this time. A shock. A curse and a blessing all at once. A place of realization for both of us.

There’s always fear:
What will happen?
Will symptoms worsen?
Will the disease win?

But today, we remembered something else — we are the lucky ones.

Three daughters. One mom. A tribe of advocates. An incredible specialty pharmacy. And the grace and love of God.

We are lucky.
We are loved.
And today, Parkinson’s… we got the newest approved treatment.

Today was a perfect day.
(We had Chick-fil-a too!)

Well folks, this is JJ—wallowing in my own self-inflicted guilt.  Yes, I know… Happy National Family Caregivers Month.We...
11/19/2025

Well folks, this is JJ—wallowing in my own self-inflicted guilt. Yes, I know… Happy National Family Caregivers Month.

We had an entire social media calendar planned—gratitude, education, resources—PLANNED. Sorry, Nat. I’ve hijacked the campaign. And here’s why:

I’m laying here (see photo below).
Not at home. Not in a hotel. Definitely not at the beach. I’m in a bed at the skilled nursing facility. Why?

Because Mom is having a bad day.
Not me—her. Once again, I rode in on my white horse ready for lunch, shopping, and a “great day.” Like it used to be. Except… it’s not “used to be.” And that great line I always toss around—“meet them where they are”—apparently does not apply to me.

Because it’s hard. Hard.

So here I am, wallowing. Lying in this empty bed, staring at the ceiling, living a bad bad day. And the question running through my head is why?

Why do I take her emotions and make them my responsibility? How do you keep from absorbing your loved one’s mood, feelings, attitude for the entire day?

I could drive 15 minutes to buy the clothes she needs, but letting her choose them was part of the perfect day. I could get takeout at Cracker Barrel, but sitting inside together—that was part of the perfect day.

So here’s my real question:
When are we demanding far more of ourselves than our loved one’s is asking? And how do we let “good” replace “perfect”… without feeling like we failed?

11/15/2025

Sometimes, as we get older, the stress of day-to-day life… well, it just squeezes the fun right out of things. We start seeing the what ifs, rushing through everything, getting irritated at the tiniest things, and the word “busy” starts to feel like a four-letter word.

So when we saw this video, we had to share it.
Why? Because everyone deserves fun. That’s right—everyone.

My mom? She finds fun in ice cream.
Natalie? Lord help us—her idea of fun is stealing my phone and taking 47 ridiculous selfies. Emilie? She’s on the road constantly and loves stopping at the most random landmarks—hello, Loretta Lynn’s homeplace.

Me? This weekend, fun looked like tearing out the tile in a tiny bathroom. (Don’t recommend it unless you enjoy chaos…)

And then there’s Stella.
Stella has figured it out.

Pure, simple, mindless joy—jumping straight into a pile of leaves like the world is hers.

Caregivers, here’s your reminder: you’re allowed to have fun too. You need to have fun.
If you look back on life and remember something that brought you that pure, silly happiness… what was it? Could you make time to do it again?

Here’s to leaf piles, snow angels, ice cream cones, roadside detours, and tile-floor demolition.

And here’s to Stella—for the lesson we didn’t know we needed. 🍂💛

11/13/2025

Arctic Blast Coffee Cup WINNERS are here! ☕️❄️
The names are listed below and announced in the video — hit play to see the big reveal.

And if you missed it… no worries. You’re a caregiver.
We’ve saved five extra cups, and we want them in your hands.
Drop “I missed it” in the comments — the first five will get one sent their way.

WINNERS:🏆
FACEBOOK
Rhonda Lay
Gail Luhrs McMahon
Susie Monday
Susan Rose
Shirley Sink

INSTAGRAM:
jfredwi
caregivingmama
happyhealthcaregiver

LINKEDIN:
Christine Sawicki
Jenifer Massie

Do you know a caregiver?Are you a caregiver to a caregiver?In honor of National Family Caregivers Month, we’re sharing a...
11/10/2025

Do you know a caregiver?
Are you a caregiver to a caregiver?

In honor of National Family Caregivers Month, we’re sharing a few suggestions on how to offer help — and make life a little easier.

It’s hard to know what caregivers need, but here’s a great start: a list of nine things to say instead of “Let me know what you need.”

Because let’s be honest — action goes a lot further than words. 💙

And caregivers — if you get a “let me know…”

Feel free to share the list! Sometimes we all just need a little push in the right direction.

11/09/2025

There's an arctic blast coming and we're not talking Dairy Queen or Sonic!

It’s about to get really cold out there, and these sisters are turning up the warmth for caregivers!

In honor of National Family Caregivers Month, we’re giving away something to keep you cozy — because you deserve a little comfort, too.

And remember… your confession is safe with us!😉

11/06/2025

Caregivers don’t fit a mold.
They’re all ages. All backgrounds. All stories.
Because care doesn’t discriminate.

11/05/2025
In August 2023, Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver took an exciting leap across the pond — airing on UK Health Radio a...
11/04/2025

In August 2023, Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver took an exciting leap across the pond — airing on UK Health Radio and sharing caregiver stories with an international audience for the first time.

But there was just one catch…They had 45 minutes or less to tell their story.

Unlike their five-part U.S. debut series, the sisters — Natalie, JJ, and Emilie — had to condense years of caregiving, laughter, loss, and growth into one whirlwind episode.

So, for National Family Caregivers Month, we’re rewinding to that moment. To how it all began. To see just how much caregiving — and caregivers — have evolved in the 26 months since that UK debut.

Join us as the sisters (lovingly) battle for the mic to share it all — from Jason’s cancer diagnosis and Mom’s Parkinson’s journey, to their first lessons in skilled nursing, advocacy, and the messy mix of grief and guilt that shaped who they are today. All this… in just 45 minutes.

Tune in, laugh, cry, and remember: we may all be reluctant caregivers at first, but together, we find the courage to keep going.

Listen in: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101429/episodes/18129668

NOTE: There was no video with this one, so we thought we'd have some avatar fun!

11/01/2025

Happy National Family Caregivers Month! 💙
That’s right — an entire month celebrating you!

These sisters have a few surprises up their sleeves — think fun, games, and even prizes for everyone who cares. So stay tuned, and don’t miss this month’s theme song at the end of the video.

(Dancing optional… but encouraged! 💃🕺)

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