Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver We're a dynamic duo of sisters sharing our caregiving journey w/ a mom & a spouse - the good, bad & funny! She’s the peacekeeper. She’s the athlete. Our rock.

The Original Sisterhood

Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. The reb

el responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the school bus stop. After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing most of her time on their care and activities. The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years. In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan. Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey. In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope. And this is just a glimpse of this trio past and present - caregivers by default doing their best to do the best for a mom and a husband. We hope you'll join our journey as we confess the good, bad, and downright funny of our caregiving adventures.

I love this article!  Why? Because I’m “50+” and part of this aging crowd. Do I think about not traveling? Nope! (Even i...
09/12/2025

I love this article! Why? Because I’m “50+” and part of this aging crowd. Do I think about not traveling? Nope! (Even if I do have to wear my glasses by the pool!)

Friends, we may be aging but we’re still living — and there are plenty of ways to make travel and down time possible. And it’s not just about age, it’s also about navigating health issues or differing abilities. For ourselves and those we care for.

One of my all-time favorite movie lines comes from The Shawshank Redemption: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” (Thank you, Morgan Freeman!)

So… no matter your situation, which do you choose?

Check out this great article by Jenna Buege, with contributions from our friend Amy Goyer. It’s a fantastic resource to help you “get busy” traveling at any age!

👉 https://www.vaxvacationaccess.com/the-compass/posts/understanding-the-needs-of-aging-travelers/

Looking for time away that promises self-care and a company that understands accommodations for people of all ages and abilities?

There’s still time to join the Self Care at Sea Cruise on the brand-new NCL Aqua this October! 🛳️

👉 Find out more: www.funseas.com/self-care

Today, we pause to remember and honor.On September 11, 2001, nearly 3,000 people died in the terrorist attacks. But the ...
09/11/2025

Today, we pause to remember and honor.

On September 11, 2001, nearly 3,000 people died in the terrorist attacks.

But the impact did not stop that day. Toxic dust, debris, and trauma have left a lasting mark:

➡️More than 129,000 people are enrolled in the World Trade Center Health Program.

➡️Over 48,000 cancers have been certified as 9/11-related.

➡️More than 8,000 responders and survivors have since died from illnesses tied to that day.

The terrorist attack didn’t end on 9/11. The effects continue, carried by first responders, survivors, and families who live with the cost every day.

We are forever grateful to the heroes who ran toward danger, and to the families and caregivers who continue to stand strong beside them. We will never forget.

When the three of us sisters started a podcast, we never imagined the journey it would take us on. Along the way, we’ve ...
09/10/2025

When the three of us sisters started a podcast, we never imagined the journey it would take us on. Along the way, we’ve been blessed with new relationships, relatable stories, and caregivers like us.

Natalie and I were absolutely honored to spend time with Lance A. Slatton and Dr. George Ackerman on The Care Advocates Podcast. Reflecting on our own path since 2023 was a reminder—the mission takes a tribe to achieve. Change the world. One person. One family. One community at a time.

To both hosts—thank you for being supporters of these sisters, collaborators in care, and friends. And for being brave enough to have two of us on at once!

https://youtu.be/sbM5VvXSBi8


allhomecarematters officiallanceaslatton

09/09/2025

New Episode Alert!

🎧 This week on the podcast, we're honored to feature Jason Binder, a dedicated husband, father of five, and the founder of Aware Coaching.

Jason's life changed forever when his wife, Tracy, a vibrant marathon runner, received a terminal glioblastoma diagnosis. During this devastating news, Jason, with his background as a change agent in pharma, mobilized a powerful support network to ensure Tracy had the best care possible.

His story is a raw and honest look at the immense challenges of long-term caregiving—the toll it takes on mental and physical health, and the impact on family. Jason shares invaluable insights, including the importance of building a "three and twelve" support system and the need for emotional resilience, especially for men in caregiving roles.

This conversation is more than just a story; it's a guide to finding hope and purpose in the face of incredible hardship. Tune in now to hear Jason's inspiring journey of resilience and his mission to support other families: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101429/episodes/17736022

As caregivers, we sisters have been giving a lot of thought to aging in place. And here’s the thing—it’s not just about ...
09/08/2025

As caregivers, we sisters have been giving a lot of thought to aging in place. And here’s the thing—it’s not just about getting old. It’s about being prepared for what could come your way at any age.

JJ is 52, Natalie is (spoiler alert!) almost 50, and baby Emilie is a mere 47. So yes, we’re thinking ahead—and learning a few lessons along the way.

JJ just built a house with her husband, only to discover that “aging-friendly” goes way beyond single stories, wide doors, and grab bars in the bathroom.

Natalie hopped on the preparation train too, but quickly realized that renovating an existing bathroom can cost a whole lot more than you’d expect.

So… what is aging in place anyway? Honestly, we didn’t really know until we started our podcast. And it made us wonder—do you? Does being a caregiver make you want to be more prepared for your own future?

Check out this article by our friends at to learn more about aging in place, the link to better health outcomes, and practical steps to get yourself ready.

https://www.carescout.com/resources/the-benefits-of-aging-in-place

Discover the many benefits of aging in place and learn how to stay safe, comfortable, and empowered in the home you love with expert support.

What are the Pros and Cons of Receiving Pay as a Family Caregiver?Money changes everything—sometimes for the better (hel...
09/05/2025

What are the Pros and Cons of Receiving Pay as a Family Caregiver?

Money changes everything—sometimes for the better (helping cover bills, recognizing a caregiver’s value) and sometimes for the harder (adding stress, stirring up family dynamics).

Check out the awesome insight from Barry Jacobs and AARP. This article takes a real look at both sides of being a paid family caregiver—why it matters, where it helps, and how it can also shift relationships with siblings and the care team.

👉 Do you think caregivers should always have the option to be paid for their work?

👉

Money changes everything, including relationships with siblings and other members of a care team

09/02/2025

This is a story that will stay with you. 💙 In this week’s episode, we have an incredibly heartfelt and honest conversation with Jenifer Massie.

Jenifer’s life has been defined by caregiving—from her youth to becoming a "sandwich caregiver" raising her kids while supporting older family members. But her journey took an unimaginable turn when her brother was diagnosed with stage four cancer. While caring for him, Jenifer was diagnosed with colorectal cancer just weeks before his passing.

She experienced both sides of care: giving and receiving. Her story is a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit, the importance of family, and the faith that carries us through the darkest times.

We talk about:
✨ The unspoken challenges caregivers face every day.
✨ Why setting boundaries is an act of love, not selfishness.
✨ How her own cancer diagnosis changed her perspective on receiving help.
✨ Turning profound personal pain into a purpose to help others.

If you've ever cared for a loved one, felt overwhelmed, or found strength you didn't know you had, this episode is for you. Please share this with someone who needs to hear Jenifer's message of hope and community today.

👉 Listen here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101429/episodes/17711576

Happy Labor Day from the sisters at Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver! 🎉. We were big on family gatherings and lots o...
09/01/2025

Happy Labor Day from the sisters at Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver! 🎉.

We were big on family gatherings and lots of food and family for long weekends like this.

This year, while many folks are celebrating with BBQs and a long weekend, we know a lot of you are still on the job - caregiving.

Some of you have mastered the art of mixing caregiving with celebration—whether it’s grilling at home, tag-teaming care with another family member, or letting someone else hold your phone for a bit to field the “just in case” calls. Our question - What’s your secret if you’re able to step away?

No matter where you are or how you celebrate, enjoy this Labor Day—you deserve it!

And extra points to those who can identify the three of us from this 30+ year old photo!

I love a long weekend… and Labor Day is all about honoring hard work. But here’s the thing—sometimes the best way to cel...
08/29/2025

I love a long weekend… and Labor Day is all about honoring hard work. But here’s the thing—sometimes the best way to celebrate labor is by not doing more.

Skip the pressure. Say no if you need to. Take the little extra time a day off gives you and do something you truly enjoy—or nothing at all.

As Rousseau once said, solitude is “the pleasure of conversing with my soul.” Sometimes that quiet recharge is exactly what we deserve.

Whether it’s family, friends, or simply recovery time for yourself, the best celebration is one that leaves you refreshed.

Gabby and I got started a little early this morning and we hope you can too! Enjoy your long weekend - however you spend it!

As I read Paul Wynn's recent AARP article, “Safety First: Protecting Loved Ones in Nursing Homes,” which I was honored t...
08/27/2025

As I read Paul Wynn's recent AARP article, “Safety First: Protecting Loved Ones in Nursing Homes,” which I was honored to contribute to, I was reminded just how quickly things can change in caregiving.

Only weeks after speaking with Paul, another crisis with Mom surfaced—slurred speech, irrational thoughts, and what our advocate gently calls “a bad time.” My first thought: Has her miracle pump run its course? Are we entering the end stages?

Mom’s neurologist, who always calls me back the same day, was surprised too. Just three weeks earlier, she’d seen Mom doing well. She immediately requested a med list from the facility. That’s when we discovered the unthinkable: on August 7, Mom’s nighttime Parkinson’s medication had been removed. No rhyme. No reason. No physician’s note. Removed.

That one pill carried her through the night and into the morning until her pump was put on. Without it, she suffered needlessly.

As a daughter, that’s the part that guts me—the thought of her enduring torment for no reason.

This is why Paul’s article matters. Safety isn’t just a word on a brochure. It’s showing up. It’s paying attention. It’s asking hard questions and never assuming “the system” always gets it right.

👉 Read the article here: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/medical/safety-measures-nursing-homes.html



https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/medical/safety-measures-nursing-homes.html

08/26/2025

This week's episode is a powerful one. We're honored to share the story of Angela Ibarra, who has navigated a path filled with profound loss, including her husband, mother, and father.

Angela candidly discusses the realities of her caregiving journey, from supporting her sister and mother to the emotional exhaustion and heartbreak that came with it. She shares how she learned to cope with the "long goodbye" of a loved one with Alzheimer's and the challenging grief that followed.

Through her experiences, Angela found a new purpose in sharing her story and helping others. Her vulnerability reminds us that healing is a messy process and that self-compassion is key.

Listen to her inspiring story of resilience and self-discovery.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101429/episodes/17706022

I’m just 52 but I'll confess, sometimes my tech abilities fall short a lot. This past week I was schooled by someone 1/5...
08/25/2025

I’m just 52 but I'll confess, sometimes my tech abilities fall short a lot. This past week I was schooled by someone 1/5 my age and about 1/3 my weight. And that’s all the details you’re getting. 😉

I was hunting down my glasses so I could see the oven timer and set it for 30 minutes—brownies were on the line.

Then I hear "Alexa set timer for 30 minutes." Hmm? My teacher says, “She does more than play those old songs.” (Reminder to self: No Christmas present for the youngest grandchild.)

It got me thinking… If I use tech for music, timers, navigation, watching TV, and even a fancy vacuum that works three days a week without me lifting a finger, why am I not using it in ways to make caring easier. Hmm - I know there are ways!

So, I googled and here's what I found. If you have something, I'd love to hear it! Just wondering - Is there something that does dishes and laundry?

"6 Indispensable Tech Tools for Family Caregivers" from Caring.com
July 11, 2025

Here's just a few...

➡Telemedicine & Health Tracking: Lets caregivers manage appointments remotely, log symptoms, and share updates with providers comfortably from home.

➡Home Automation: Smart lights, thermostats, and intercom reminders can reduce physical strain and help loved ones stay on schedule.

➡Medical Alert & Motion Sensors: Wearables or home devices that automatically alert caregivers—great peace of mind if you're not in the room.

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