03/08/2021
Being born Black, American, and in female form with a penchant for people pleasing, Iāve undoubtedly crashed and burned more times than I can count.
For the last two years, therapy has provided me many tools, practices, and mindset shifts to challenge the internal setting that avoids conflict or confrontation at all costs. Basically: I be reacting to s**t different. āØ
For instance, instead of submitting to fear, I question its validity. Thereās no shortage of āface your fearsā or ādo it scaredā type of stuff out there. And I would see that and think āok yeah, but HOW?!ā Nobody wants to admit how loud and mentally strong fear actually is. But Iāve learned fear is basically a symptom so I always question it. I interrogate my fears to see if they are even real. I make them small, I make them get to the point and step aside. Once Iāve stripped fear of its confidence, I can redirect it to my ability. Iām not exactly fearless, just no longer ruled by it.
French fries, shoes, and manicures are great ways to love yourself but standing up for myself, sometimes even to myself, is top shelf, quality self care.