thomascwaters.com

31/12/2025

I read a short little commentary today, about Colton Underwood‘s take on Heated Rivalry that he published on his Substack. Got me wondering maybe I should be writing this on my Substack.

Regardless, the person chose to say nothing good about Underwood. From their perspective, Underwood is a horrible creep who doesn’t deserve any attention whatsoever.

If you don’t know who Colton Underwood is, Google him. He’s got quite a messy and full story. It makes perfect sense, however that he would have a take on HR given that he was an extremely closeted gay man in sports before he became a celebrity on the Bachelor. And after the Bachelor, or because of it? He acted extremely horribly towards his ex-girlfriend. 

Not every closeted sports figure piles their shame into their own loneliness. The closet creates enormous mess for many.

Totally separate from anything related to, HR, I have been thinking about some people I dated years and years ago. My early 20s were a really crazy messed up time for me. I didn’t seem to have an issue coming out as gay, or at least I didn’t think I did. But the reality is in my history, my past was lots of shame and self hatred and self blame.

And as I tried to become an adult and happy in life, I know that my s**t left a mess in very many relationships. The closet isn’t the only thing that causes people to be harmful to others.

I was in my late 20s, before I realized I needed to stop dating, and deal with fixing things in my life that didn’t really work. I’m far from the only person who’s had that experience  I know.

Where am I going with this? What my story, and Underwood story, and HR, and many stories having in common, is the impact of rigid, gender roles, and how various people try to conform to them. And how that conforming makes a mess for them and for others.

If there’s one moment in Heated Rivalry that isn’t getting enough attention, it is Scott Hunter’s speech. I think this gets overlooked because he talks about loneliness. The story of Shane and Ilya is a lot easier to handle because neither of them displayed loneliness. We love their story because it appears happy ever after. We’re all loving staying at the cottage. We want to stay in that moment of safety and vulnerability.

But one of the truly huge and important stories within HR, is the way masculinity and our drive to succeed at being real men  generates loneliness. How because of it, we end up on our own, when we truly need the support of others.

I truly believe that HR deserves all the attention it is getting, however, I’m surprised that more isn’t being said about Boots. Boots is very much a story that deals with this loneliness, during the process of a variety of individuals trying to find themselves. But for whatever reason, we were robbed of the happy ending. Perhaps some type of happy ending would’ve been in season two or season three of Boots if that show we’re going to continue. Maybe HR is so popular because not only was it a great story and told in a really wonderful way, but it was also a story that gave us what Boots didn’t? Maybe we aren’t really ready for stories that are about the loneliness, or the way the closet deprives so many of happiness.

30/10/2025

https://thomascwaters.com/2025/10/30/no-kings-and-the-obsession-on-the-president/

22/09/2025

https://thomascwaters.com/2025/09/22/what-is-the-foe-harming-the-lgbtqia-community/

We haven’t been trained to either see or understand the problem as some structure of power. We have been trained to believe that there are good people and bad people. Cops and robbers, Cowboys and Indians, there are so many ways in which we are trained to blame other people and fit them into a bin...

16/01/2025

I began to blog on thomascwaters.com almost as a fluke. I had attended an unconference about podcasting. I had a podcast called “A Q***r Look at the Bible (QLATB) and I was interested in growing my audience and improving my podcast. I knew nothing about blogging, but decided to open a WordPress blog for the podcast. But, since I didn’t know anything about WordPress or blogging, I also started thomascwaters.com as a “sandbox” blog, a place where I could learn the program.

Then, the election happened. Obama won, and Prop 8 passed in California. These two events seemed so disparate. One displayed such progress and the other was three steps backwards.
I began blogging to sort out my feelings and try and understand what was happening. And thomascwaters.com was officially born as a blog focusing on LGBTQ issues.

Over the life of the blog, I won a few awards and received accolades. I loved blogging. But a time arrived where I missed making artwork. I missed it more than I loved blogging.

I never found a way to do both. Maybe it is a right brain left brain thing. Maybe it was just I had only so much energy to expend. Regardless of why I chose to stop actively blogging. I began pouring time and energy into my artwork.
Now, as I contemplate leaving the META platforms completely, I want to shut down this page. But I’m either too stupid to figure that out, or META has made it pretty hard. Either way, today, I’m calling this Face Book page closed for business.

I really appreciate all the support I’ve had over the years for my blog. I met so many amazing people, and I wrote some pieces I’m so deeply proud of.

I’m not done writing. I’ve started a book project. And I write posts on my personal Facebook feed that I’m proud of. I will be forever grateful for the folks I met at that first PodCamp, because it set it off on a journey that has been fabulous and amazing and so gratifying.

The actual WordPress blog isn’t going away. I can’t yet bring myself to delete it all. But this place on META for it is done.
All that I wrote is still available via Google search.

The internet has changed so much and writing and podcasting is changed. Am I totally done in this arena? I don’t know, but it is time this phase of it is “put to bed.” To use a more old fashioned publishing phrase.

Love to you all.

Explore q***r news, info, and commentary in Pennsylvania. Stay informed on the latest gay issues and learn what you can to take action.

11/10/2024

Today is National Coming Out Day and the date coincides with anniversaries of several massive Marches on Washington, starting in 1987.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but there really was a time when it seemed coming g out, at least as Le***an or Gay was so easy. Not controversial.

But this is no longer the case. It is especially hard and dangerous today for trans and non binary people as well as bisexuals. Bisexuals have never been adequately embraced by the mainstream LG groups.

More younger people are exploring their identity and expression at a younger age, and they don’t have as many life lessons or the financial means to deal with the discrimination and homophobia they face.

Today, even those of us, who are as out as out can be, must continue to come out- continue to give voice to our expressions and identities, to be a shining beacon for youth. Because for too many, it all looks hopeless.

I come out publicly today not because I need to, but because too many of my siblings of many different ages can’t, or for whom it is still too dangerous.

Anyone in the LGBTQIA+ communities is not really liberated until we are all free to be our authentic selves.

10/10/2024

I’m very excited. About 20 months ago. I had a book idea to create some passive income. I did some research, and shared my idea with an author who had started her book writing journey and built it into her full time job.

But while I got support, I didn’t really have a clear idea about my path forward. Fast forward to a month the ago, when I revisited the book project with another author who helped me detail specific next steps.

Yesterday, I completed the first of those next steps. I’m ready now to take on the next of the next steps. I feel like I’m making real progress.

One of my other next steps however, is to get back to regular writing. I created a Substack account and now I need to set a schedule and commitment to write one post every week. These writings can be portions of book chapters. They could be short essays helping me sort out book chapters.

I’m hoping that in two weeks, I can post that I have written at least one or two Substack posts.

03/10/2024

Sent a Letter t the Editor to the PG today. Hopefully it will get published.

I ride my bicycle around the city, and in a number of neighborhoods, I encounter graffiti messages claiming "acab." This has never been a sentiment I agreed with, as I know and have known, so many dedicated and hard working professionals in law enforcement.

But as Election Day gets closer, I ask you to consider how your vote can influence public safety on a day to day basis. The National FOP has chosen to endorse Donald Trump, an endorsement that should scare every voter.
In previous elections, the Pittsburgh FOP endorsed Trump, at that time, he claimed he would be "tough on crime." But what about now? Can "tough on crine," be the basis of supporting Trump?

The Rule of Law lives and dies on truth, and the objective review of facts. It relies on a fragile framework where police, prosecutors, juries and the the entirety of the judicial system needs to matter. So, how can an organization that claims to support police officers, endorse a man convicted on 34 felony counts? A man, whose complaints about a stolen election have been proved wrong in court after court across the country? A man facing a plethora of other charges that have yet to go to trial?

While our judicial system isn't perfect, it is the system we currently have, and thoughtful persons must consider what it means, to dismiss the workings of the courts so completely.

Police officers have one of the most difficult and dangerous jobs out there. But all residents must be able to trust that the police are there to serve and protect. So, what does it mean when these police support (through their union) someone who has been proved, to have broken the law? Why should any resident follow laws, if the persons paid to protect us, don't believe that abiding by the law matters?

Any person or entity has a right to endorse any candidate they choose. But we, residents; we the people, have to stop and ask what it means for the police to care more about supporting a felon?

It is one thing to believe the charges brought against Trump were inflated. But to endorse a felon suggests that police have no respect for prosecutors. It is one thing to question if Trump got a fair trail, but to endorse a convicted felon says that the police don't have any faith in the system of trial, judge, and jury. If the police don't trust and abide by our system of the Rule of Law, how can you as a resident, as a person living in this so-called free country, trust the police to treat you fairly and with Justice?

Of course, some will say that the points I'm trying to raise are exactly why some believe "acab." That is a thick and complicated dialogue however. My wish for you reading this, is to draw a line of distinction between the officers themselves, and the organization that they believe supports them.

The issue is structural to the organization of the FOP, and a mentality, more than it is about the actual women and men serving on our streets.

Large organizations with so much power are hard to change. And that change is needed. But each of us can take a smaller step towards real justice, by voting against any organization that endorses a known and convicted felon.

11/09/2024

While today is my birthday, which is a wonderful thing, it is also the anniversary of the attack on the US. For me, this anniversary always reminds me of Mark Bingham, a true gay patriot who helped bring down the plane over Pennsylvania, saving an untold number of lives. The plane was possibly headed towards the Capitol or the White House. We MUST name and celebrate his gayness at the same time we mourn his sacrifice and the sacrifice of many others.

So much is written about the book bans happening across our country. These conservatives aren't afraid the books will make children gay. They goal is more sinister. They want to eliminate the possibility that anyone a read positive stories about q***r people. They wan to erase us, make us hidden and try and suffocate us and our joy in living.

We must use days like today, to remember real LGBTQIA+ heroes and leaders. Q***rs who Make the world better in big and small ways. Those visible (we must make it all visible) as well as those behind the scenes.

Gay, le***an, bi, trans, q***r and many others who self-identify in different ways are present in the fabric of our country and our democracy. We are leaders and heroes and we play vital roles in the success and hope for democracy.

Whenever you hear about a book ban, remember the goal is to make q***rs invisible. DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. Bring visibility to q***r people.

Mark Kendall Bingham (May 22, 1970 – September 11, 2001) was an American public relations executive who founded his own company, the Bingham Group. During the September 11 attacks in 2001, he was a passenger on board United Airlines Flight 93. Bingham was among the passengers who, along with Todd ...

25/07/2024

On the plane yesterday, I re-watched the movie, Red, White, and Royal Blue. I loved it the first time I saw it and loved it and cried equally this second viewing. I however, cannot recommend movies that make you cry on an airplane.

I'm very suggestible and gullible to believe a movie is "real." So, for me, while I know it is fiction, it seems real. The story- of these two guys coming to be in love was real.

Before the first release much has been made about the chemistry between these two guys, and I think marketing played it up (and actually a lot since then), leaving many wondering if they were gay. We know now, that Galtizine is straight, and Perez, really isn't saying. I wondered, if knowing this would change the film for me. But the sucker that I am- not at all. I'm still in love with them and their love story.

I think I keyed into Alex's bisexual awakening more than I did during the first viewing. Henry's tormented situation sublimating his personal feelings for the "role" tradition had created for him was pretty easy to grasp before. But I thought a lot about how the support each guy received (or didn't) how that impacted their individual journeys.

Given the crazy political climate right now, I thoroughly enjoyed the fantasy of it- a woman president, Texas being the state that won the re-election for her. The ease of getting around the globe, and especially how they rode bikes to the house at the end with no secret service ever in view.

Even though it makes me sob, this will remain a feel-good movie for me. I'm sure I'll watch it many times over.

My favorite scenes are the cake at the beginning, and dancing in the museum. But there are lots of great moments.

11/07/2024

Not a day goes by, that here isn't Drag Race "news" in my feed somewhere. This story showed up for me, in my news reader first.

All these RPDR stories, especially the ones that tempt you with a bit of drama are just marketing stuff. To get you caught up and remaining engaged with the world-wide franchise, RPDR has become. I don't think that is all bad, but I'm sad to see when these talented performers simply become fodder for a marketing department.

This story is an interesting one. Ongina, one of my all, time favorite queens, wants to explore other creative endeavors. My first thought is, like DUH..... creative people explore being creative. No story here.

But there is a bigger story under the surface.

Persons who do drag, do drag for a wide variety of reasons, but for the most part, they are creative performers. They are real people, who get into a character(s) and are known for that character. Some use their drag name only while in drag, others, are both their drag name as well as their "civilian" name. Some use specific pronouns in or out of drag. Others might just be she or he, regardless of if they are in drag or not. For me, this is one of the biggest advantages to drag, it highlights how gender is myriad, fluid, and exceptionally unexceptional.

But a problem occurs, when the audience believes the drag persona is all there is, and that it belongs to them as the audience. We see that in the way fandoms develop around drag performers. Some become so beloved, revered, and treated as if they are goddesses. When really, they are simply highly talented people.

Some drag performers change culture, especially pop culture. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo and her now ICONIC exit, forever changed pop culture. Alaska- some of her taglines too. And no one who follows drag will ever forget, "I'd like to keep it on, please."

We could make a long list.

But what does it mean, when we, as a viewing audience distill a creative person down to a few moments of insane greatness and then hold them rigidly to that persona forever? Why does this happen?

I think one reason it happens is because these characters, created by these performers, become representations of q***rness. Especially or younger q***rs who may not feel safe enough to truly be in their own q***rness.

Drag Race gets critiqued for many reasons, and it should. But it has always been a space where people are encouraged to find within themselves, their inner drag queen- their inner strong woman. If we forget to keep developing and letting our own self out- and we only act as spectators for others, we can't really thrive as a community.

I wish Ongina all the best. I hope, as whatever way they present, we as an audience are ready for their creativity. I wish we would stop trying to fit drag performers into tiny boxes, treating them like objects we, the audience owns.

RuPaul's Drag Race OG Ongina has announced that she will be taking 'a breather' from drag, and teased a career change in 'a new chapter'.